Bonjour, ca va?
Merci beauoup pour le lettre dernier
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 16 Jan 2014, 7:37, 127 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

I'm alright yeah.
On a train in to London! Although, I kind of need a poo.

How are you?
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 16 Jan 2014, 7:46, Reply)

I am also on a train to london!
I've dun my loo though

I'm not bad thanks, stupidly busy as usual. You coming up for work?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 16 Jan 2014, 7:57, Reply)

Yeah,
Was supposed to be in Bristol, but that got cancelled, and the only thing that planning could get me was central London. So I've had to drive to Hillingdon and then drag a bag of essentials across London for a shit job in an office. Plus it's not going to get finished today, so it's all a bit silly really.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 16 Jan 2014, 8:14, Reply)

Work is work I guess

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 16 Jan 2014, 8:20, Reply)

I was behind a van owned by these people this morning and wondered if it was you:
www.winderselectrical.co.uk/
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 16 Jan 2014, 8:59, Reply)

urgh
off skiing this lunchtime. do not want. nasty cold slippery stuff.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 16 Jan 2014, 7:48, Reply)

Skiing is one of life's greatest pleasures, then add in good food, good booze, sunshine, fresh air...I am well jell

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 16 Jan 2014, 7:58, Reply)

one in each hand behind the bins

(katie hopkins telling it where its at, Thu 16 Jan 2014, 8:08, Reply)

Oui, ca va bien merci. Et vous?
Ce qui font aujourd'hui?
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 16 Jan 2014, 7:56, Reply)

Oui ca va, merci
Fuck it, my very basic French plus autocorrect makes this painful
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 16 Jan 2014, 8:01, Reply)

My french has declined terribly. I find if I don't speak it for a while I forget quite a lot of the vocabulary.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 16 Jan 2014, 8:03, Reply)

Moi aussi
I should really listen to tapes or something while I commute
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 16 Jan 2014, 8:22, Reply)

Good idea.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 16 Jan 2014, 8:26, Reply)

Tapes?
Hipster prick.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 16 Jan 2014, 9:05, Reply)

Fuck em
If they cant be bothered to learn English after we saved them from speaking german then I will just shout and point
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 16 Jan 2014, 8:24, Reply)

dont speak frog, soz

(katie hopkins telling it where its at, Thu 16 Jan 2014, 8:01, Reply)

Steer clear of folkstone then

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 16 Jan 2014, 8:16, Reply)

ca va

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 16 Jan 2014, 8:12, Reply)

Ha! It's funny cos of your northern accent

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 16 Jan 2014, 8:15, Reply)

I don't have a northern accent

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 16 Jan 2014, 8:19, Reply)

You live in the north, ergo you have a northern accent

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 16 Jan 2014, 8:21, Reply)

oh dear

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 16 Jan 2014, 8:22, Reply)

No eyed deer more like!!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 16 Jan 2014, 8:22, Reply)

Doyouthinkhesaurus?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 16 Jan 2014, 8:22, Reply)

No Witherspoon!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 16 Jan 2014, 8:23, Reply)

he's right
all Mong just sounds like nnnnuuuurrrrgggghhhh
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 16 Jan 2014, 8:29, Reply)

Don't you sound like a character from coronation st?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 16 Jan 2014, 8:31, Reply)

she talks like Audrey Roberts
You know, tries to sound posh even though she's as common as tinned spaghetti.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 16 Jan 2014, 8:38, Reply)

no
we lived in chalfont st giles when I was little and I sounded like the queen until I was about 10. now it's pretty neutral but few northern words/expressions sprinkled in
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 16 Jan 2014, 8:50, Reply)

BWAHAHAHAHA AS IF!!!!!!!!!!!

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 16 Jan 2014, 8:51, Reply)

shut up barrow boy
I don't want any cockles or mussels
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 16 Jan 2014, 8:51, Reply)

I'M STILL FROGGY FROM DA BLOCK

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 16 Jan 2014, 8:52, Reply)

strikethrough COCKLOL

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 16 Jan 2014, 8:53, Reply)

LOL GOOD 1

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 16 Jan 2014, 8:57, Reply)

That was very near to where I grew up...

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 16 Jan 2014, 9:05, Reply)

Obviously an inspiration to your parents.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 16 Jan 2014, 9:06, Reply)

Morning. Apparently this Autumn's style for guys will be distressed corduroy, string vests and luxury shell suits.
Maybe if you're a cunt. Fashion? Meh.
(DBT became a fruitarian on, Thu 16 Jan 2014, 8:35, Reply)

my signature style is streetwear matched to classic men's fragrances.
You know, like DVS trainers, DC jeans, BAPE t shirt with Givenchy Gentleman.

Chicks dig it.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 16 Jan 2014, 8:40, Reply)

Real women LOVE a thirty something man dressed like Justin Bieber

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 16 Jan 2014, 8:41, Reply)

Exactly.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 16 Jan 2014, 8:43, Reply)

bringing modern chav to the historic city of York

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 16 Jan 2014, 8:51, Reply)

truss dis nigga yo
Ent no shortage of charvers in York.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 16 Jan 2014, 8:53, Reply)

Please talk English.
You're not black, judging by ypur photo.
(DBT became a fruitarian on, Thu 16 Jan 2014, 8:58, Reply)

Speak

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 16 Jan 2014, 9:09, Reply)

Morning Rachel. Packed your thermals and nipple cream for your ski weekend?

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Thu 16 Jan 2014, 9:00, Reply)

Bit sweaty handed.
Your missus still refusing to put out?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 16 Jan 2014, 9:02, Reply)

Nah it's all fine.
.
(DBT became a fruitarian on, Thu 16 Jan 2014, 9:16, Reply)

standard thursday morning garb, that

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 16 Jan 2014, 9:26, Reply)

Ça va bien, merci
Et toi?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 16 Jan 2014, 9:00, Reply)

Right, is it actually true that your wife cheated on you
or is this just internet lies?
( Bazongaloid, Thu 16 Jan 2014, 9:09, Reply)

Ask his daughter

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 16 Jan 2014, 9:13, Reply)

Y R U POSTIN PIX OV KIDZ ON DA WEB? U IZ A PEEDO

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 16 Jan 2014, 9:14, Reply)

S'ok, I don't touch black kids

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 16 Jan 2014, 9:15, Reply)

RACIST PAEDO! ADOLF FIDDLER!

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 16 Jan 2014, 9:16, Reply)

You don't want to get AIDs do you

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 16 Jan 2014, 9:16, Reply)

What do you think?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 16 Jan 2014, 9:13, Reply)

It sounds totally believable to me, but I've been known to get these things wrong on occasion.
If she did, then I'm sorry and I hope you don't kill yourself because you're one of the good ones one here.
( Bazongaloid, Thu 16 Jan 2014, 9:20, Reply)

is this a double bluff?
are you nailing mrs ape?

if that kid comes out bald...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 16 Jan 2014, 9:24, Reply)

Where is this coming from?
Have I missed something?
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 16 Jan 2014, 9:31, Reply)

rory dips his wick in cheating aids-riddled porridge
al gets confused by the name change and thinks the porridge is mrs ape.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 16 Jan 2014, 9:35, Reply)

Good morning
It is calf 1's 7th birthday today. I have a LOT of Lego to build today
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 16 Jan 2014, 9:23, Reply)

Make a shed!

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 16 Jan 2014, 9:39, Reply)

Yes!
1st valuable life lesson is shed building.
( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Thu 16 Jan 2014, 9:48, Reply)

I have shed woes
It still hasn't turned up
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 16 Jan 2014, 9:51, Reply)

Was it Sheds Direct by any chance?

( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Thu 16 Jan 2014, 10:01, Reply)

Asda

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 16 Jan 2014, 10:08, Reply)

Northern ^

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 16 Jan 2014, 10:12, Reply)

Free delivery

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 16 Jan 2014, 10:16, Reply)

Free No
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 16 Jan 2014, 10:17, Reply)

Perhaps it won't fit in that little square van of theirs.

( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Thu 16 Jan 2014, 10:12, Reply)

Anyone for vaginal worms?
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/general_health/1963084-OMG-suspected-thrush-is-actually
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 16 Jan 2014, 9:33, Reply)

There aren't many links I don't click, but that is going to be one of them.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 16 Jan 2014, 9:35, Reply)

Just think Froglet,
If you were your u/n you'd be eating them lol.
( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Thu 16 Jan 2014, 9:45, Reply)

Eurgh.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 16 Jan 2014, 9:47, Reply)

Tout droit?

( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Thu 16 Jan 2014, 9:45, Reply)

Dreeeeams can come true, lookatmebabe im with you.
You know you gotta have 'em, you know you gotta be strooong.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 16 Jan 2014, 9:50, Reply)

I have another meeting today but I don't know when!!!!!!

( Peej, Thu 16 Jan 2014, 9:52, Reply)

cool keep us in the loop yeah?

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 16 Jan 2014, 9:53, Reply)

you need a diary

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 16 Jan 2014, 9:53, Reply)

They dont have diary's in cornwall
They all fear the modern ways and will only ever tell the date via a ploughed earth sign
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 16 Jan 2014, 10:06, Reply)

oops
I meant dairy
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 16 Jan 2014, 10:16, Reply)

I have no meetings!
\o/

and a half day this afternoon

\o/ \o/
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 16 Jan 2014, 9:55, Reply)

I have a meeting in the city at 2pm & one at regents st at 4pm.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 16 Jan 2014, 9:57, Reply)

You need to synagize your iCals with the rest of the office.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 16 Jan 2014, 9:57, Reply)

Nique ta mere

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 16 Jan 2014, 10:11, Reply)

bit harsh

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 16 Jan 2014, 10:11, Reply)

ca va
Alt: oui
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 16 Jan 2014, 10:13, Reply)

Se faire baiser

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 16 Jan 2014, 10:16, Reply)

n'est pas

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 16 Jan 2014, 10:17, Reply)

It's OK! Its at 11.30

( Peej, Thu 16 Jan 2014, 10:22, Reply)

DIET COKE BREAK

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 16 Jan 2014, 10:24, Reply)

+ CHERRY

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 16 Jan 2014, 10:24, Reply)