Off Topic
Are you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
(
rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
Pages: Latest,
836,
835,
834,
833,
832, ...
1
« Go Back |
Popular
Proper tough guy stuff
Make up some lies about how "fucking hard" you are.
Alt:
Soft as shite stories
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 10:03,
138 replies,
latest was 11 years ago)
YM makes me fucking hard.
Also, this week I have been into work despite my debilitating cold, and I have pretended to be fine, despite being whinged at to have a day off by that ginger lass.
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 10:04,
Reply)
Dead children make me hard.
(
Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 10:06,
Reply)
That's how hard I am.
(
Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 10:06,
Reply)
I'm now hard thinking about you being hard thinking about dead children.
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 10:07,
Reply)
That makes me hard.
(
Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 10:08,
Reply)
Oh God, it's happened again!
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 10:09,
Reply)
That must be hard.
(
Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 10:10,
Reply)
It was/is.
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 10:11,
Reply)
I never understood the importance that 'being hard' was given by some people at school.
I understand it even less in the adult world.
Alt: I cried when Superman relinquished his powers in Superman II
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 10:06,
Reply)
Because you were soft.
(
Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 10:07,
Reply)
Yeah, I didn't see a problem with that.
I still don't.
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 10:09,
Reply)
wah wah wah
(
Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 10:10,
Reply)
^Pussy^
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 10:08,
Reply)
Crying. Like. A. Pussy.
(
Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 10:09,
Reply)
That's why he's so uncool, because he isn't hard like us.
He's the b3ta equivalent of Walter from The Beano
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 10:11,
Reply)
You misunderstand, if you are one of the cool kids like me, you don't have to pretend to be hard.
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 10:13,
Reply)
You're not really a 10th level Paladin.
(
Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 10:16,
Reply)
I'm assuming this is some nerd thing
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 10:22,
Reply)
YOUN THE NERD!
You and your soft mates all playing D & D.
(
Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 10:23,
Reply)
You can be Gnasher to my Dennis.
(
Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 10:13,
Reply)
Battered can be Gnipper
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 10:20,
Reply)
how is this NOT gay slang?
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 10:22,
Reply)
Who said it wasn't?
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 10:23,
Reply)
It is how I'm understanding it.
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 10:24,
Reply)
I was the corrupted Superman in Superman 3.
That's how hard I am.
(
Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 10:08,
Reply)
You are nearer Superman 7 - The Search for the Wheelchair
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 10:09,
Reply)
You'll need a wheelchair in a minute.
I am ROCK.
(
Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 10:11,
Reply)
c+ +ed
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 10:13,
Reply)
what's written all the way through the middle?
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 10:13,
Reply)
HARD AS NAILS
(
Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 10:14,
Reply)
funny
I can only make out 6 letters. there's a W, and an A, and that's definitely an N, and I think that's a K, and...
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 10:18,
Reply)
Pack mentality innit
Leader of the herd
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 10:09,
Reply)
Leader of the hard.
(
Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 10:10,
Reply)
Except most of the 'hard' kids were merely snappy little terriers.
They were leading no packs.
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 10:10,
Reply)
Unlike me.
I was fucking hard.
(
Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 10:11,
Reply)
I lead a pack, because I'm hard, you wouldn't understand, and clearly never encountered someone truly hard, like me. And my pack.
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 10:12,
Reply)
^glitter^
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 10:13,
Reply)
*doesn't want to be in frog's gang*
(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 28 Jan 2014, 10:15,
Reply)
NO GIRLS ALLOWED
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 10:15,
Reply)
Bender
(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 28 Jan 2014, 10:16,
Reply)
^ not a love machine ^
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 10:20,
Reply)
I AM!
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 10:22,
Reply)
weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeellllllllllll.......................
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 10:25,
Reply)
>:(
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 10:26,
Reply)
They said you were bad, but I knew you were just sad...
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 10:14,
Reply)
Your favourite restaurant is Wimpy
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 10:18,
Reply)
Do they do veggie burgers?
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 10:22,
Reply)
Don't you know? you go there, not me. They do a bender in a bun, which you'd be well into.
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 10:23,
Reply)
Silly Frog
banana is not meat
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 10:24,
Reply)
You clearly haven't seen MY 'banana'
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 10:25,
Reply)
tangles just deep throated it
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 10:25,
Reply)
I shat out a kidney, ate it and now I'm okay again.
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 10:09,
Reply)
^ Doctor ^
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 10:12,
Reply)
I was a streak of piss at school - all elbows and knees.
At my first rugby game, I was Fly Half, and the opposition kicked off, very high, and the ball was heading directly towards me - a gift as it rolled perfectly down through the sky to me.
I caught it, it knocked me about 2 metres backwards and clean out, and the next thing I remember was coming 'round, lying in the middle of the pitch, with both teams and all the spectators wetting themselves laughing at me.
It became something of a template for my life.
(
Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 10:10,
Reply)
hahahaha!
Excellent! Our year had "BIG CAM" in it. He looked about 21 when he was 13 and I ended up being tackled by him in rugby. I'm sure I did at least three somersaults before landing on my head asnd ending up in casualty with concussion
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 10:11,
Reply)
I regularly have my insides rip themselves inside out
and bleed for a week. I do this with only the minimal amount of crying, drug taking, and curling up in an armchair with a hot water bottle.
Oh, I've also lost both big toenails twice, and didn't whinge about it like a bitch for weeks afterwards.
(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 28 Jan 2014, 10:11,
Reply)
H.A.R.D.
(
Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 10:12,
Reply)
Nails, mate.
(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 28 Jan 2014, 10:14,
Reply)
I was at the 'business end' when my daughter was born. I didn't puke or pass out, despite the barsons bridge splitting in front of me & blood gushing everywhere.
(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 10:12,
Reply)
Shame you weren't at the business end during the conception really
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 10:12,
Reply)
Z.I.N.G.
(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 10:13,
Reply)
Mrs V - MRS V, OK?! - was watching Graham Norton the other day. There was a clip of Robbie Williams, talking about how he'd been at the business end when his kid was born.
He described it as "Like watching my favourite pub burn down."
(
Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 10:18,
Reply)
Robbie Williams is a massive cunt himself so he should know what it looks like
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 10:19,
Reply)
I still thought it was a great description.
It was also worth it to see Emma Thompson trying to keep her shit together when he came out with it.
(
Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 10:21,
Reply)
As is Graham Norton. The mincing wanker.
(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 10:21,
Reply)
His eyes look like a shaved cunt
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 10:22,
Reply)
Hahahahahaha!
(
Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 10:27,
Reply)
What a wanker.
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 10:21,
Reply)
I don't care for Williams much either.
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 10:21,
Reply)
I like Robbie Williams.
There, I've said it.
(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 28 Jan 2014, 10:40,
Reply)
Oh.
Oh now you've done it.
Oh dear.
(
Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 10:48,
Reply)
Guy Chambers knew how to craft a pop song.
But Williams is still a prick.
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 11:00,
Reply)
Well I understand that's generally one of the necessities for a new father, yes.
(
Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 10:33,
Reply)
where is geordiejay these days?
has rory finally bullied him away?
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 10:12,
Reply)
He went to Ireland at the weekend, someone probably upset him.
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 10:12,
Reply)
He got tied up in a male sauna & they forgot about him.
(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 10:14,
Reply)
Simple Minds
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 10:17,
Reply)
'I'll be alone, wanking and you know it baby'.
'Look my way & cum on my face'
(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 10:19,
Reply)
Rory is currently using him as a glove puppet.
(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 10:20,
Reply)
are you jealous?
i'm sure he's thinking of you, if it helps.
in fact, they both are.
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 10:23,
Reply)
and you are too, always
(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 10:26,
Reply)
i've never been worn as a glove puppet by an internet troll, so cannot comment
sorry
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 10:31,
Reply)
no, but you have bullied a borderline sperg, on the internet
And you have a creepy obsession with my love life.
(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 10:32,
Reply)
there is nothing borderline about your sperg's
and you don't have a love life. seemples.
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 10:47,
Reply)
hey, my spergism is hitherto undiagnosed
(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 10:52,
Reply)
No, we diagnosed it ages ago.
(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 28 Jan 2014, 10:56,
Reply)
he diagnoses it with every selfconsciously weird word he types
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 10:57,
Reply)
selfconsciously?
(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 11:02,
Reply)
you are totally selfconscious and awkward
a "try too hard", if you will.
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 11:03,
Reply)
haha like you have a clue about anything
(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 11:14,
Reply)
why don't you go and have another bit of metal jammed into your face
to show the world just how you refuse to march to the beat of that one drum, eh?
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 11:15,
Reply)
yer I remember you get wet over pierced weirdoes
But I don't own a Greggs hat, Soz.
(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 11:37,
Reply)
i didn't know that was there until it was too late
then I tolerated it, whilst hating it. and snickering LOTS when it got pulled out by the chest waxer.
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 11:41,
Reply)
I'm soft as shite
but thanks to my neutral expression making me look like a serial killer that wants to rip out your eyeballs to complete my snooker set I've never been exposed. My passport photos are a 30 second photoshop away from a Hellraiser DVD cover.
(
Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 10:35,
Reply)
It was grimmer watching my missus giving birth than it was at an emergency birth I assisted at. Nearly passed out.
(
DBT became a fruitarian on, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 10:35,
Reply)
^ shit doctor
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 10:36,
Reply)
^
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 10:37,
Reply)
I fucked a tiger
(
Peej, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 10:39,
Reply)
Was it Kenny the Mong Tiger?
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 10:39,
Reply)
Fucking furries.
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 10:41,
Reply)
....but you did not shoot (on) the leopard, see?
(
localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 10:47,
Reply)
_ __ _
;' '',)
/;6 , ;/
(Y)_:., |
`-', :; \
|; ,.:\
/:.; ;;)
|:;,.'| :/
/ |: / ; /
/:;\ `| "//
/_,: | |./,|
_/: \.'|,|/| |
/:.,:.|,|"| |:|
/:;:|:,/;|:| |'|
|',:| \_ \ |_|;\_
/;\_ /\_)) \_))\_))
(;(________
'''''`'''~`
(
Captain Give-A-Fuck #internetpals4eva, Mon 3 Feb 2014, 14:54,
Reply)
Through the ringpull?
(
Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 10:56,
Reply)
Well, this is going well.
We're obviously all too hard for actual conversation.
(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 28 Jan 2014, 10:39,
Reply)
I put my cock in Swipeys mouth
(
Peej, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 10:45,
Reply)
i preferred the homity pie
it was less cheesy
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 10:47,
Reply)
+oniony
(
Peej, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 10:47,
Reply)
+ hairy
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 10:48,
Reply)
I went out without a coat on the other day.
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 10:45,
Reply)
I've only worn a coat once this winter
and even then I had to take it off because I was too warm.
Mind you, I do have a fair bit of natural insulation...
(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 28 Jan 2014, 10:46,
Reply)
I keep looking for a new coat, but I can't find anything *quite* right.
CSB.
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 10:47,
Reply)
what sort of coat?
Debenhams had some great ones in before christmas
(
Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 11:17,
Reply)
I want a lightweight 'pea coat' in black or grey please.
Or a wicked 'bridge coat' so I look like a Russian submariner.
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 11:19,
Reply)
Have you had a butchers at Ebay
Vintage coats, some proper old 50's ones on there, One of my biggest regrets is losing a 1940's GPO greatcoat that I found in a charity shop. Proper boss that was.
(
Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 11:22,
Reply)
I'm not really tall enough for one of them.
My mate had this shit full length leather coat, with him being about 5'5" made him look a right silly twat.
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 11:26,
Reply)
yeah
and now you're ill.
erm........................... put the science in the rocket, eh?
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 10:47,
Reply)
Yeah, it's nothing to do with being around ill people on public transport at least four times a day.
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 10:49,
Reply)
Yes, this is how viruses work.
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 10:51,
Reply)
Those airborne viruses float about until they find someone without a coat.
Obviously.
(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 28 Jan 2014, 10:53,
Reply)
it's almost as if she's a msssive tubbo numpty or saink
(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 10:53,
Reply)
well yeah
lowering your body temperature too much lowers your defences, and the virus can get in more easily.
SCIENCE!
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 10:54,
Reply)
I'm pretty sure that's NOT how it works.
(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 28 Jan 2014, 10:57,
Reply)
^
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 10:59,
Reply)
that's what the internet said
so it must be true
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 11:03,
Reply)
You dont catch a cold from being cold
(
Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 10:53,
Reply)
not in isolation
but if you get too cold, you are more likely to succumb to the virus. SO THERE.
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 10:56,
Reply)
WHERE?
(
Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 11:02,
Reply)
Good job I don't have to hang about all homeless in London waiting for late people innit
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 11:03,
Reply)
stop making it into such a....................
BIG ISSUE!!!
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 11:04,
Reply)
gud 1 rachelswipe!!!1!1
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 11:05,
Reply)
Oh, you!
(
Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 11:19,
Reply)
CLICK ME!
(
Peej, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 11:08,
Reply)
Coats construct a barrier againzt airborne viruses. ANd flies.
(
DBT became a fruitarian on, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 10:55,
Reply)
PROPER MEDICAL ADVICE^^
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 11:05,
Reply)
NEW SHIT THREAD
VALIDATE ME
(
Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 11:31,
Reply)
Alt: I'm a pathetic emotinal mess when watching sad or uplifting scenes in films*
and I'm getting worse the older I get. I get emotional watching Countdown these days. And by emotional I mean an erection. Stupid, sexy Gyles Brandreth.
*12 Years A Slave was a real 'three-hankier'. (I got the fourth wank in after the credits finished, so that doesn't count)
(
Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 11:31,
Reply)
I went to see that on my birthday.
It's quite good. Bit racist though.
(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 11:38,
Reply)
« Go Back |
Reply To This »
Pages: Latest,
836,
835,
834,
833,
832, ...
1