Bored of tube thread now
I call lunch

So I bumped into a lad I know yesterday. Turns out his company are recruiting basically me. Sunderland also managed to win and I got to eat loads of free Indonesian food on Saturday

When was the last time you had good fortune?
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 3 Feb 2014, 11:57, 153 replies, latest was 11 years ago)

I'm so hungry
And it's ages 'til lunchtime
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 3 Feb 2014, 11:59, Reply)

I had a really god haircut on Saturday, and now you can't see the multiplying grey ones, plus they actually done it like I wanted
Also, I got offered another job this morning , but turned it down
Also, swipe said she's bought me some fudge
Also, bought a slightly green banana this morning from sainsbo's but it tasted riper than it looked
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 3 Feb 2014, 11:59, Reply)

How divine

(Captain Give-A-Fuck #internetpals4eva, Mon 3 Feb 2014, 12:07, Reply)

good innit m8

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 3 Feb 2014, 12:08, Reply)

You're the best god here

(Captain Give-A-Fuck #internetpals4eva, Mon 3 Feb 2014, 12:13, Reply)

god? i suppose youre right

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 3 Feb 2014, 12:14, Reply)

The only time I was wrong I wasn't there

(Captain Give-A-Fuck #internetpals4eva, Mon 3 Feb 2014, 12:15, Reply)

^

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 3 Feb 2014, 12:18, Reply)

That is a good weekend.
You gonna try at this new place then?
Ask what their car allowance is like first!!

I see the football supporters were a bit better behaved this year. Still a video of them on Youtube throwing bombs and upsetting horses. Idiots.

I think they should ban Derby Day, or give people an intelligence test before allowing them in the public arena
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 3 Feb 2014, 12:02, Reply)

yer, not too bad at all
Am just tidying CV at the moment
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 3 Feb 2014, 13:26, Reply)

I say tidying, its more blowing dust off
*awaits strikethrough*
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 3 Feb 2014, 13:29, Reply)

Every new day is a gift which I unwrap in my own unique way.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 3 Feb 2014, 12:02, Reply)

That's beautiful.
Just beautiful.
Lunch will be a visit to the chipshop :)
(DBT became a fruitarian on, Mon 3 Feb 2014, 12:06, Reply)

I might be setting myself up for some bad luck soon.
I've seen a mk2 Cavalier estate for sale. I'm going to have a poke at it. I have no room for another car and can't really justify one. Seems logical to take a look at it.

Edit: Oh mate, sorry. I'd forgotten car chat is a sensitive subject for you.
( Kroney, Mon 3 Feb 2014, 12:02, Reply)

CDi spec?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 3 Feb 2014, 12:05, Reply)

Dunno, I've only seen it from the road, so far.
Figured it might be a handy car with a more modern diesel in it.
( Kroney, Mon 3 Feb 2014, 12:07, Reply)

You sir
are a car spastic

That is all
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 3 Feb 2014, 12:10, Reply)

Well, I've got to learn to weld on something!

( Kroney, Mon 3 Feb 2014, 12:22, Reply)

hahaha
Fair point well made
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 3 Feb 2014, 12:27, Reply)

Seeing as you haven't made any provisions for a pension, it makes sense that you should invest as much of your available money as possible into old cars.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 3 Feb 2014, 12:12, Reply)

the tax relief and tax advantaged investment growth on old bangers are valuable parts of a retirement planning strategy.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 3 Feb 2014, 12:18, Reply)

my missus is really going places
I'll just hang on to her coat tails and she can nanny me. Retirement planned for!
( Kroney, Mon 3 Feb 2014, 12:21, Reply)

that's a £600 advice fee please

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 3 Feb 2014, 12:25, Reply)

I could buy one of my cars for that.

( Kroney, Mon 3 Feb 2014, 12:26, Reply)

what return are you expecting?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 3 Feb 2014, 12:27, Reply)

Serious answer.
Buy an 80s popular family car for 4-500 pounds. They are currently at the bottom of their depreciation cycle, the point just before adults gets nostalgic at the cars their dads used to have, get it fixed up and, if you're lucky, in five years time you sell it on for 3 grand.

You don't get into this hobby to make money, but it is possible to break even or make a small profit. If you get lucky with a car that gets a real following, you can actually make decent money off the sale.
( Kroney, Mon 3 Feb 2014, 12:30, Reply)

yer put it in a sipp m8

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 3 Feb 2014, 12:34, Reply)

As long as she can hold on to her looks as she gets older

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 3 Feb 2014, 12:26, Reply)

*knowing wink*
*secret handshake*
( Kroney, Mon 3 Feb 2014, 12:27, Reply)

ke ndy
(Captain Give-A-Fuck #internetpals4eva, Mon 3 Feb 2014, 13:02, Reply)

I don't really fancy a mortgage
Don't want the Man to tie me down, you know?
( Kroney, Mon 3 Feb 2014, 12:20, Reply)

have you got any vouchers?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 3 Feb 2014, 12:28, Reply)

well, I was poking around in the attic and I found the original copy of the Bible.
Which was nice.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 3 Feb 2014, 12:07, Reply)

...and then the following week our numbers came up again!

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 3 Feb 2014, 12:13, Reply)

I preferred the sequel
The Koran!
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 3 Feb 2014, 12:15, Reply)

Wisdens?

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Mon 3 Feb 2014, 12:16, Reply)

Did it have anything inscribed?
To Jesus,

Love, Dad.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 3 Feb 2014, 12:19, Reply)

no.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 3 Feb 2014, 12:25, Reply)

Hey! the tube strikes have been called off!

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 3 Feb 2014, 12:21, Reply)

Cardigans all round!!
They must have been on here, reading our thoughts.

*wears tin foil hat*
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 3 Feb 2014, 12:24, Reply)

Can't even be bothered to strike.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 3 Feb 2014, 12:25, Reply)

Shame.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 3 Feb 2014, 12:24, Reply)

No its okay i just made that up

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 3 Feb 2014, 12:26, Reply)

Hahaha
Prick.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 3 Feb 2014, 12:27, Reply)

Lols

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 3 Feb 2014, 12:29, Reply)

What - so ... you actively WANT people to be inconvenienced?

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 3 Feb 2014, 12:31, Reply)

Mainly you, swipe and battered.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 3 Feb 2014, 12:32, Reply)

Sexytime.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 3 Feb 2014, 12:33, Reply)

^ TGGI

(Captain Give-A-Fuck #internetpals4eva, Mon 3 Feb 2014, 12:34, Reply)

but not me? thanks pal!

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 3 Feb 2014, 12:39, Reply)

youve got enough on yer plate m8

(Captain Give-A-Fuck #internetpals4eva, Mon 3 Feb 2014, 12:44, Reply)

^

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 3 Feb 2014, 12:45, Reply)

If he has to spend four hours travelling the ten miles to his local mung bean market on the back of a haywain
he sees no reason why those fancy London types with their "suits" and their "ways" shouldn't too!
( Kroney, Mon 3 Feb 2014, 12:34, Reply)

To be fair, he's not living in the 18th century
to get 2.5 miles an hour out of a haywain, you'd have to slam it on banded steelies and slap a K&N mushroom filter on the oxen.
( Kroney, Mon 3 Feb 2014, 12:37, Reply)

This car tinkering obsession has gone a bit far when you start considering modifications to a haywain

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 3 Feb 2014, 12:40, Reply)

I know a place where you can get a well cool dump valve, mate.
Stick it on and every time the ox breaks into a lumbering trot, you'll get a well wicked "kah-tchhhhhh" noise from the valve. Sounds just like a turbo, mate!
( Kroney, Mon 3 Feb 2014, 12:42, Reply)

needs MOAR woad stripes down the sides
bigger drainpipe for the ox shit, make it sound proper bison.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 3 Feb 2014, 12:44, Reply)

^this guy knows his wagon-modifying oats

( Kroney, Mon 3 Feb 2014, 12:49, Reply)

None of that piddling minstrel music neither
get some serious big barrels in the back and a couple of local Neanderthals to drum on them with elephant leg bones - bangin'
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 3 Feb 2014, 12:53, Reply)

anyone with a dump valve is an utter prick.
jus sayin.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 3 Feb 2014, 12:45, Reply)

people that make sweeping statements are utter wankers

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 3 Feb 2014, 12:46, Reply)

people who call people wankers are cunts

(katie hopkins telling it where its at, Mon 3 Feb 2014, 12:47, Reply)

^TGGI

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 3 Feb 2014, 12:48, Reply)

Seriously, though
A dump valve is only relevant if you've got a stupidly over-boosted turbo. Which in turn means your car will drive like crap and you are a dick.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 3 Feb 2014, 12:49, Reply)

High boost is awesome for town driving
you've got fuck all torque in low revs and suddenly it spools up and dumps you straight through Argos' front window.
( Kroney, Mon 3 Feb 2014, 12:51, Reply)

that's the sort of milkshake that brings all the slags to the yard.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 3 Feb 2014, 12:52, Reply)

If all the singing and dancing we've done pays off, we should see a bountiful harvest of our own mung beans in the commune this year.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 3 Feb 2014, 12:38, Reply)

It's jealousy - pure and simple.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 3 Feb 2014, 12:40, Reply)

I had to spend £132 on my cat at the weekend.
He must have had a fight and got an abcess, Vetinary charged me for slicing it, washing it out and a week long antibiotic injection.
In hindsight, insurance would have been grand. He is 6 now so probably not worth getting it now.

He is grounded until his face has healed up mind.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 3 Feb 2014, 12:32, Reply)

Cheaper to stick it in a sack with some stones and chuck it in the canal

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 3 Feb 2014, 12:33, Reply)

I doubt jasum has the stones for that

(Captain Give-A-Fuck #internetpals4eva, Mon 3 Feb 2014, 12:35, Reply)

I dunno, he sticks his willy in other men's bottoms
This has to be above that on the degenerate scale
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 3 Feb 2014, 12:37, Reply)

I think they may stick theirs in his too. I believe these sort of chaps take it in turns.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Mon 3 Feb 2014, 12:42, Reply)

They do fucking not.

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 3 Feb 2014, 12:50, Reply)

Haha.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Mon 3 Feb 2014, 12:51, Reply)

:( No!
Would you do that to your kids, even though they get free healthcare?
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 3 Feb 2014, 12:50, Reply)

Off to see a bike tonight, no, noone from here.
650 Bandit, only 19, 000 on the clock. It is an investment \o/
(DBT became a fruitarian on, Mon 3 Feb 2014, 12:40, Reply)

YES LETS REALLY GET THE MID LIFE CRISIS STARTED

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 3 Feb 2014, 12:41, Reply)

I ONLY HOPE HE HAS TAKEN OUT SUFFICIENT LIFE COVER TO ENSURE HIS DAUGHTER WILL BE LOOKED AFTER

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 3 Feb 2014, 12:42, Reply)

I don't.
I hope he dies and leaves his family penniless.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 3 Feb 2014, 12:43, Reply)

^virgin^

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Mon 3 Feb 2014, 12:45, Reply)

^big fat smelly smelly bum face^

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 3 Feb 2014, 12:48, Reply)

^^bender^^

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Mon 3 Feb 2014, 12:49, Reply)

too far, man
...too far
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 3 Feb 2014, 12:51, Reply)

Must be serious.
Italics!
(DBT became a fruitarian on, Mon 3 Feb 2014, 12:52, Reply)

It's either serious....
....or sinister
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 3 Feb 2014, 12:54, Reply)

Or perhaps it could be...
...extremely fucking homosexualist
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 3 Feb 2014, 12:56, Reply)

Meh you and your fancy italics.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Mon 3 Feb 2014, 12:58, Reply)

You're such a pervert....
....you 'fancy' italics
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 3 Feb 2014, 12:58, Reply)

He's...
...a wrongun and no mistake!
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 3 Feb 2014, 13:02, Reply)

That's ...
hilarious.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 3 Feb 2014, 13:05, Reply)

You need a line of full stops....
....in both sections!
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 3 Feb 2014, 13:07, Reply)

it's...
...about as funny as your depressingly frequent qotw entries
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 3 Feb 2014, 13:08, Reply)

Cheer up ...
... emo.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 3 Feb 2014, 13:11, Reply)

I've never listened to The Get Up Kids...
...but I don't mind Rival Schools
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 3 Feb 2014, 13:14, Reply)

^jealous^

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Mon 3 Feb 2014, 12:45, Reply)

That will come in a few years.
E type.
(DBT became a fruitarian on, Mon 3 Feb 2014, 12:43, Reply)

Ok for where you are, in UK that's one of the most expensive rust traps available

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 3 Feb 2014, 12:45, Reply)

Yes I know.
Lovely looker though.
(DBT became a fruitarian on, Mon 3 Feb 2014, 12:48, Reply)

But enough about HM

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 3 Feb 2014, 13:04, Reply)

As a doctor, surely you're aware there are simpler methods of getting on the organ donor list?

( Kroney, Mon 3 Feb 2014, 12:43, Reply)

My organ is ripe for donation.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Mon 3 Feb 2014, 12:44, Reply)

*twirls moustache*

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 3 Feb 2014, 12:51, Reply)

*rubs knees*

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Mon 3 Feb 2014, 12:55, Reply)

I'm pretty sure it's not an investment, chief.
not unless you've got a wicked life insurance policy and you're planning to bin it.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 3 Feb 2014, 12:47, Reply)

I'll be ok.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Mon 3 Feb 2014, 12:50, Reply)

That's a girls bike.
Get an R1 or a 'blade.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 3 Feb 2014, 12:53, Reply)

Poofs bikes
You need to go old school on a fizzy
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 3 Feb 2014, 13:05, Reply)

o old school on a et busy with the
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 3 Feb 2014, 13:29, Reply)

Resigns Oxfam sponsorship

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 3 Feb 2014, 13:51, Reply)

ha!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 3 Feb 2014, 13:55, Reply)

I a banana and a yoghurt earlier, not really hungry now, might wait until dinner #yolo

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 3 Feb 2014, 13:40, Reply)

I had some chicken noodles
I am still rather hungry
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 3 Feb 2014, 13:41, Reply)

I might go for a stroll instead of getting lunch, im not sure though #yolo

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 3 Feb 2014, 13:43, Reply)

Minted tuna panini and some rice cakes.

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 3 Feb 2014, 13:49, Reply)

Minted tuna?
WT actual F?
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 3 Feb 2014, 13:55, Reply)

Gay food.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 3 Feb 2014, 13:59, Reply)

He's a Geordie innit, I think it means 'good'

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 3 Feb 2014, 14:01, Reply)

NEW....
....THREAD!!!
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 3 Feb 2014, 13:53, Reply)