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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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My brother bought me and old Nogbad the Bad book.
My brother is therefore awesome.

Do you have a brother? Is he awesome like my brother or shit?

Alt Which B3tans are classic examples of an only child? Which would you think are only children based on nothing but how they act?

AltAlt Do you have a sister? DON'T CARE! MY SISTER DIDN'T BUY ME NOGBAD THE BAD!
(, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 9:50, 130 replies, latest was 11 years ago)
I don't have a brother.
He's awesome.
(, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 9:53, Reply)
Hi, I have a sister, I also have a half brother and a half sister, my dad prefers them.

(, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 9:56, Reply)
I just had a mini stroke because of the NON SURPRISE!

(, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 9:57, Reply)
Good I hope part of you is paralysed now!!!

(, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 9:59, Reply)
Is he your half dad?

(, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 10:20, Reply)
I have a brother.
I bully him relentlessly.
(, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 9:56, Reply)
Oh right, so now you're making up a brother as well as a "Mrs Dozer" are you?
When will all the lies stop, plum?
(, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 10:04, Reply)
I have a brother, two sisters and two stepbrothers, several nieces and a great nephew

(, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 10:06, Reply)
All lies.
You are totally alone in this world.
(, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 10:07, Reply)
I'm such a fantasist!

(, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 10:07, Reply)
both my parents are dead though, and all four grandparents
That much is true.
(, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 10:08, Reply)
GREAT NEWS!!!!

(, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 10:09, Reply)
I'm tbe head of my family!

(, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 10:09, Reply)
+ dick

(, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 10:10, Reply)
I have no brothers or sisters
My brother in law is fucking cool though

Alt:
Sportscow
(, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 9:58, Reply)
*only child fives*
See. Not all Northeners shit out babies for benefits.
(, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 10:19, Reply)
No some of them learn their lesson quick.

(, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 10:22, Reply)
*nods*

(, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 10:27, Reply)

d b
(, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 10:28, Reply)
saucy

(, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 10:30, Reply)
I have a brother
he's alright, we go out drinking and I crash at his place when I go back up to Birmingham.

Altalt: Got a sister too, she lives in Germany and we barely acknowledge each others existence.
(, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 10:03, Reply)
Perhaps if you bought her a drink now and again she might talk to you.

(, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 10:13, Reply)
That's why I don't buy her a drink

(, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 10:15, Reply)
As a rule, my brothers tend towards awesomely shit
But retain the ability to surprise, sometimes pleasantly.
(, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 10:03, Reply)
I have two brothers
Both are excellent. Most of the time.

My brothers have the best sister in the world. Fact.
(, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 10:04, Reply)
Mind you, the *other* sister....

(, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 10:05, Reply)
Alt: dozer to both

(, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 10:04, Reply)

5.9.83.79/questions/offtopic/post2208302
(, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 10:05, Reply)
I have a sister. She's a fat lazy cunt.

(, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 10:05, Reply)
lol

(, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 10:09, Reply)
Think she lives in Canada now. Dunno.

(, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 10:12, Reply)
No
Alt: Me, Sportscow
Altalt: No
(, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 10:14, Reply)
I'm playing at the soft milf centre. There are too many birds.

(, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 10:17, Reply)
Come crawling back have they?

(, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 10:17, Reply)
There's definitely one cock!

(, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 10:20, Reply)
Playing with WHAT??

(, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 10:31, Reply)
His winky

(, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 10:36, Reply)
I'm an only child.
My parents stopped at perfection.
Plus they both have epilepsy, my Mam's is quite bad, so them having a kid was a bit risky (probably why my bulb is a bit dim).
(, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 10:18, Reply)
There's a bit more ammunition for you all!

(, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 10:18, Reply)
epileptics are wankers

(, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 10:18, Reply)
Most people are to you dear

(, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 10:21, Reply)
Ah! Finally an explanation for your "not a choice"

(, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 10:19, Reply)
HE'S GOT BRAIN DAMAGE!

(, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 10:21, Reply)
No I ent!
I didn't catch it.
(, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 10:21, Reply)
To be honest I only started this thread because I wanted to stomp yet another "alright" thread
I rushed it and its not very good, I apologise.
(, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 10:18, Reply)
Your brother would've done a much better thread

(, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 10:19, Reply)
Undoubtedly
Ask Swipe. He's a better looking, younger, more awesome version of me.
(, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 10:20, Reply)
alright

(, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 10:22, Reply)
Not a chevron in sight.

(, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 10:30, Reply)
shut up show-man

(, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 10:30, Reply)
alright pet

(, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 10:35, Reply)
Hiya!

(, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 10:37, Reply)
2 alive, 3 dead. None awesome, that's my job.
altalt 1, never bought me the book neither.
(, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 10:25, Reply)
Half lol-ing, half tearing out hair at question time from last night, did anyone see it?
Dear god, George Galloway is a twat. And tessa jowell the next mayor of London? Fuck off. But you have to laugh at David starkey calling bob crow "bill crow" and then saying "the fat red man with the piƱa coladas".
(, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 10:30, Reply)
Yeah, didn't watch it, soz.
I bet Boris doesn't see another term though.
Galloway was a prick before, during and after Big Brother.
(, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 10:32, Reply)
"what else have the poor labourers got, but their labour?"
Er, a whole raft of employment laws?
(, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 10:35, Reply)
That's not even a point is it?
A life? Family?

Oh woe is me, back in the fields again.
While Galloway sits, puffing on expensive cigars. Twat.
He's always full of quotes too because he has nothing of his own to say.
(, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 10:39, Reply)
I could happily watch him and starkey argue
Jowell is ghastly. Turned the whole thing into her little mayoral manifesto, the menopausal beast. And the Tory boy was a clueless chump.
(, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 10:42, Reply)
Aren't they all?

(, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 10:43, Reply)
Tories generally are.

(, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 10:43, Reply)

Better than the handwringing leftie dinosaurs. But in the way that HIV is better than aids - or breast cancer is better than pancreatic, to quote the campaign
(, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 10:48, Reply)
If you choose the lesser of two evils, you still end up with less evil.

(, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 10:49, Reply)

less
(, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 10:55, Reply)
I can't help thinking you've missed the point here.

(, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 10:59, Reply)
yeah, only plebs watch Big Brother

(, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 10:35, Reply)
Yes dear, we know your stance on proles and their televisions.
I'm going to watch the next series in bed to really annoy you.
(, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 10:37, Reply)
it's not just my stance on such matters

(, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 10:40, Reply)
Yes, there are millions of others like you.

(, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 10:42, Reply)
Eddie Izzard is obviously the best choice. Celebrities make the best polititions
Ronald Regan was the greatest American President except Thomas J. Whitmore.
(, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 10:36, Reply)
Arnie made California bankrupt though
There's always one
(, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 10:43, Reply)
NO CRICKET CHAT
Perth Scorchers v Hobart Hurricanes on now, get on it.
(, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 10:33, Reply)
alright Rob Fairholme

(, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 10:37, Reply)
Steady on old chap.
Shit right off with that sort of chat.
(, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 10:38, Reply)
Couldn't Perth think of anything beginning with P?
I can.
(, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 10:37, Reply)
Paedos
Peddlers
Perverts
Pricks
(, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 10:40, Reply)
Perth Pederasts v Hobart Homosexualists
Bit of a ring to it.
(, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 10:41, Reply)
ring sting!

(, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 10:41, Reply)
it's a click from me!

(, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 10:42, Reply)
Didn't those words pop into your head quickly eh Jason

(, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 10:42, Reply)
This place does have an effect.

(, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 10:49, Reply)
So do roofies.

(, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 10:51, Reply)
Recording it and watching it tonight with a few tinnies

(, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 10:40, Reply)
couldn't give a XXXX mate

(, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 10:42, Reply)
Sounds grouse mate.
Me n the missus will bring the bong
(, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 10:44, Reply)
I have two older sisters, who are awesome and also shit, both in their own unique ways.
I also have a half-brother, whose company I only discovered two years ago, and he too is awesome.

It was a bit weird meeting him - I'm 17 years his senior, and have never had any contact, but we are so very, very alike in so many non-genetic ways - tastes, views, opinions. Really quite interesting.
(, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 10:36, Reply)
is he a desperately unfunny try hard prick as well?

(, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 10:37, Reply)
As well as you?

(, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 10:46, Reply)
oh man ZONGED again!

(, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 10:48, Reply)
You want him for your toy boy don't you?

(, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 10:38, Reply)
Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday night

(, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 10:41, Reply)
My brother is shit,
the end.

AltAlt: I have a sister in law. She's alright, I spose.
(, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 10:43, Reply)
I have a sister and four half sisters.
They are all pretty cool.

Alt: Rory. Definitely either the youngest or the only child.
(, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 10:44, Reply)
Or overlooked middle child?

(, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 10:45, Reply)
The middle one is always shit
But I agree with Stunned, he's got to be the pampered baby of the brood
(, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 10:47, Reply)
I think more successful Older brother and spoiled baby brother both getting MOAR attention have made him the man he is today

(, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 10:49, Reply)
Definitely one of those.
Or possibly oldest.
(, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 10:48, Reply)
You'd be shit on Strike It Lucky

(, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 10:50, Reply)
Yeah that's the joke.
On point, as always eh Jay!
(, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 10:53, Reply)
yeah, the last person you want to say 'top, middle or bottom?' to is Bent Jason

(, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 10:58, Reply)
like you get a choice

(, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 11:02, Reply)
I was adding to it dear.

(, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 11:00, Reply)
We don't give you enough credit round here, do we Jason?
Sry bbz xx
(, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 11:08, Reply)
No, he has a more successful older brother
(who for some reason seems to be named after a star trek character)
(, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 10:47, Reply)
Deanna Troi?

(, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 10:51, Reply)
KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN

(, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 10:59, Reply)
Are they hot?

(, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 10:47, Reply)
With your ongoing amputions you'll soon be a half-brother

(, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 11:00, Reply)
I have a sister who is 9 years and 10 months older than me. I hardly EVER bring this up.
Conversely she hardly EVER brings up her theory that I was 'an accident'.

I'm not sure who is most grateful that we have the length of the M8 motorway between us.
(, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 10:46, Reply)
My sister is exactly 5 years older than me
and I still sometimes forget her birthday.
(, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 10:57, Reply)
in other news, on a separate website, I have been messaged by a mod to apologise for posters bullying me.
It's all deeply traumatic.
(, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 10:53, Reply)
Wouldn't get that sort of limp-wristed mollycoddling round here

(, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 10:56, Reply)
i'm nearly suicidal

(, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 10:57, Reply)
mumsnet can be a harsh environment

(, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 10:59, Reply)

i.imgur.com/km9GtyD.jpg
(, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 10:59, Reply)
WTF am I looking at?

(, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 11:00, Reply)
monkey poop

(, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 11:00, Reply)
does that mean you are being nice?

(, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 11:01, Reply)
I'm angling for compensation

(, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 11:03, Reply)
I got £50 compo from Lloyds yesterday

(, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 11:04, Reply)
Shame you can't withdraw it from your account

(, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 11:05, Reply)
Its a good job I dont have a 2nd account to transfer the money across to

(, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 11:25, Reply)
I wouldn't say that fishing for compliments was the best way to go about it

(, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 11:05, Reply)
but you're thick so I won't take your advice

(, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 11:07, Reply)
I was hoping for angling based puns.
You're probably above all that though
(, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 11:11, Reply)
Just how much time do you spend on the Internet??

(, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 11:02, Reply)
this is funny, because it's coming from you

(, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 11:03, Reply)
There's another website? Why wasn't I told?

(, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 11:13, Reply)
We didn't want to overexcite you.

(, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 11:14, Reply)
I do have a brother, he is also pretty awesome.
He looks nothing like me, is several inches shorter, athletic and a married, soon-to-be father.

Despite all of this failure, I'm still very proud of him.
(, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 11:09, Reply)
Your wife will be happy.
*Throws Nogbad at Noggin*
(, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 11:28, Reply)

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