Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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LiesWhat is the biggest lie you've told? Did you get away with it or were you caught like a fish?
Alt:
Favourite childhood activities
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 14:41,
141 replies,
latest was 11 years ago)
I won't cum in your mouth.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 14:42,
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They are laminated for such an eventuality(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 14:49,
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*finger guns*Also, fucking hell, 11 years. Jesus.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 14:52,
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I'd get less for murder.(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 14:53,
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"this has never happened before"(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 14:51,
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Ta.I'm stuck at Cardiff Airport and I can't get pissed. Can today get any worse?
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 14:54,
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Car is in the short stay at Edinburgh. I fucked up there.(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 15:01,
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I can have a couple of pints, I'm not driving til 6.Just need to pace them.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 15:05,
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Get your missus to get a bus to the airport to drive you back. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 15:14,
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^ Secrets of a successful marriage(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 15:16,
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Best not.(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 15:21,
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you knows it, petal.(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 15:38,
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On business, expenses innit?(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 15:18,
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True, but our expenses weenies would still cause a stooshie about it.I booked a hotel in Bournemouth a few months back that was 2 minutes from the office. Apparently I shouldn't have used it as it wasn't approved by our outsourced travel agency - despite the fact that I booked it through their website.
The fact that my hotel was cheaper, closer and better than their approved hotel doesn't come into it apparently.
(, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 15:30, Reply)
It's my grant moneythey can fuck off. They probably will spit the dummy, there was some email recently about only using Long Stay, but bollocks to it. It's cheaper than two taxis and they can fuck off if they think I'm getting out of bed 15 minutes earlier to use the bastard long stay.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 15:38,
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Tru dat.Up until 5 minutes ago this place was packed with outstandingly pissed valley boys flying to dublin. Now there's just me and the least attractive hen do in history. Which I fear will be on my plane.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 15:04,
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It just went off in my hand(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 14:53,
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^this^Of course it meant something
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 14:53,
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No, I wasn't thinking about your sister.(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 14:55,
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Yeah it's coke, honest...(it was ketamine)
This was years ago btw.
I just use rohypnol now.
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GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 14:54,
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It's all about the roofies(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 15:02,
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No your arse doesn't look big in that. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 14:54,
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alt. Playing Megadrive, with teenage turtle figures and Action Man (yeah, sometimes I paired him with my friends Barbies)Wandering about a place called The Red Hills and the nearby farm land, causing mishchief. Until I went to Comprehensive and discovered alcohol.
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GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 15:02,
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There used to be some giant red sanded hills next to Red House Farm near Fawdon where I grew upDon't think they are there anymore. May have been paved over. Used to play by the ouseburn there. Loads of motorways to the airport added since i was a nipper.
Northumbrian Piper is there too. Nice pub.
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GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 15:26,
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Nah, it'll only be a couple of quiet pintsAlt: Stealing golf balls and selling them back to the golfers. Also playing football on the 1st fairway as the trees there had decent spacing to use as goals. I never understood why they had a golf course in the shittiest (or so it was claimed) area of Loughborough
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Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 15:03,
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"I love you"Right, lads?!
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Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 15:05,
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It's been really good on here this week(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 15:06,
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Don't leave, you're the best one here(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 15:13,
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You're my favourite, and easily the most popular and funny poster(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 15:14,
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I really like your albumOh wait...
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 15:17,
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^shit gp doesn't get the 'lies' theme of the thread^(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 15:20,
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No more shit than other weeks.Are we expecting too much from B3ta?
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GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 15:27,
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I didn't know I was speeding officer, there must be a problem with the speedometer. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 15:07,
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How did your soft milf play go today? Unfortunately we never went :(
(, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 15:10, Reply)
At one point I was tempted to be highly inappropriate with a fit mum in the ball pit. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 15:11,
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I'm not sure sexually assaulting the other patrons in front of your daughter is a very good idea(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 15:13,
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My daughter wasn't in the ball pit. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 15:14,
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Haha. "Inappropriate behaviour in the ball pool", that would really have helped your access arrangements.(, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 15:15, Reply)
Luckily, access isn't a problem. Told bitchtits today that I am applying for shared residency though. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 15:22,
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Been lying about Santa for a few years now.A fat beardy who creeps around the house when you're asleep? Hmmm...
(, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 15:09, Reply)
Why do women think going for a pint is going for A pint?(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 15:14,
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The problem here is that.............women don't think!
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 15:17,
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I liked Billy Connolly's take on it"My wife thinks a pint is this big" *holds hand approx 5ft off floor*
(, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 15:19, Reply)
Said in a whiney northern accent:MY HAIR IS NOT GINGER.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 15:20,
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Battered should easily get shared residency with his daughter.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 15:24,
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80% of all fathers that apply for it, get it. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 15:25,
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20% of all fathers that apply for it, don't get it. (
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 15:25,
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100% of all fathers that apply for it either get it, or don't.(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 15:27,
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That 20% tend to be in prison, or are disabled, or work abroad etc. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 15:27,
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So 80% of fathers as a whole couldn't give a fuck.Yeah, let her have them... I've got my nubile receptionist keeping me warm at night
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GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 15:29,
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It doesn't matter, Jason won't have got it wrong or missed the point.(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 15:37,
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Might have been a bit made up. You know, like stuff is on here.
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GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 15:45,
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I think I'll stay at work a bit longer today(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 15:26,
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I have enough work to keep me occupied throughout the day.(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 15:29,
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I'm far too LOVELY to lie.alt: Genocide.
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stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 7 Feb 2014, 15:31,
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LIESI skived two and a half months of fourth form double geography on a Thursday afternoon. No style, no panache. Just didn't bother. When the register ladies caught up and I got the obligatory appointment with the Head and my Mum, I told them I had been going to the clap clinic.
I'm 40 now and my Mum still thinks it's true.
(, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 15:42, Reply)
The clap clinic for months?Did she think you were shagging low rent prossies?
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GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 15:43,
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Also. How slow were the "register ladies" and why wasn't the teacher taking it?The register, not your clap riddled penis.
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GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 15:43,
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I turned up to french for the first time in like 6 months, and my french teacher said "You don't really want to do this, do you?", I went "Nope", and he goes "Ok, take out some books of another subject instead" and left me to it(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 18:56,
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Tell me liiieeeees, tell me sweet little liiieeesss(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 15:44,
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I just heard that actress, Reece whatshername, just got stabbed(
Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 15:59,
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Wine or beer for this evening?(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 16:10,
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Yeah, am leaning towards that (
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 16:22,
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This alvo is dragging. I just stopeed doing some bullshit spreadsheet exercise as it was about to ruin my weekend.
(, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 16:25, Reply)
I'm testing some new script stuff and dumped a 70GB databaseIt is as boring as it sounds
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 16:26,
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I'm drinking a lemsip, pretending to work and trying to tune out someone reciting the entire plot of A Cinderella StoryIt's one of those afternoons where you look at the clock, then theres a five minute montage (set to some 80s hair rock) of keyboard tapping, exasperated expressions, close-ups of mouths flapping, someone thumping a desk, rapid-speed photocopying, ties loosening, look back at the clock.....and thirty seconds have passed.
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Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 16:33,
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I now have 'Win In The End' from TeenWolf stuck in my head(
Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 16:35,
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