Good here innit?
I'm knackered, what are you?

Alt: best Smith
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 3 Mar 2014, 17:33, 88 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Granny.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 3 Mar 2014, 17:34, Reply)

Pervert^

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 3 Mar 2014, 17:39, Reply)

alright
Alt: Wilbur.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 3 Mar 2014, 17:36, Reply)

I fucking loved 'when the lion feeds' when I was at school
Proper adventure stuff
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 3 Mar 2014, 17:38, Reply)

i was joking innit
Thrillers are for counts.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 3 Mar 2014, 17:39, Reply)

Suit yourself*

*in turquoise lamé
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 3 Mar 2014, 17:43, Reply)

chicks dig turquoise

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 3 Mar 2014, 17:45, Reply)

Yeah and clown shoes, baseball caps and hoodies on men over 30 yeah?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 3 Mar 2014, 17:46, Reply)

I don't wear baseball caps, you wouldn't understand the distinction

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 3 Mar 2014, 17:48, Reply)

Because he's old!

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 3 Mar 2014, 17:49, Reply)

What's your age again?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 3 Mar 2014, 17:51, Reply)

26

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 3 Mar 2014, 17:57, Reply)

feudalism is for counts

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 3 Mar 2014, 17:51, Reply)

No, it's shite.
Before old people are allowed to purchase a mobile telephone, they should first be taught how to turn off the fucking keypad tones. Listening to them sending text messages, which probably end 'lol' because they think it means 'lots of love', sounds like an irregular heartbeat on a epg machine, which they no doubt have anyway.

Alt: WH
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 3 Mar 2014, 17:38, Reply)

Wh smith is rubbish, in fact I'm very surprised it's survived

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 3 Mar 2014, 17:39, Reply)

I'm going to buy 'a book' there tomorrow

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 3 Mar 2014, 17:40, Reply)

Why not get it cheap off Amazon?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 3 Mar 2014, 17:44, Reply)

Might be a sale on, innit?

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 3 Mar 2014, 17:46, Reply)

Arlreet pet man mint man?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 3 Mar 2014, 17:47, Reply)

Started a new job today.
And applied for another one. Rock and roll.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 3 Mar 2014, 17:48, Reply)

Permanent this time?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 3 Mar 2014, 17:49, Reply)

Sadly not, a month's sick cover and only two days a week.
Hence the applying for another one. My life is a rollercoaster of incident.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 3 Mar 2014, 17:50, Reply)

God it's been a while ent, must be exhausting applying all the time.

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 3 Mar 2014, 17:51, Reply)

It's fucking annoying.
I'm just bouncing from contract to contract at the moment. The saving grace is that most of them have been the result of contacts I've made during my last permanent job. I quite fancy the one I applied for today but apparently there's been a huge level of interest so I'm not building my hopes up.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 3 Mar 2014, 17:54, Reply)

Sounds shit, good luck eh

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 3 Mar 2014, 18:00, Reply)

Cheers.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 3 Mar 2014, 18:01, Reply)

alright legless

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 3 Mar 2014, 18:03, Reply)

i like bookshops
sometimes humans in real life have good opinions
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 3 Mar 2014, 17:53, Reply)

Because I need it for Wednesday

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 3 Mar 2014, 17:48, Reply)

GET A GOOD ONE

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 3 Mar 2014, 17:50, Reply)

How do you know what's a good one before you've read it?

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 3 Mar 2014, 17:56, Reply)

You have to judge it by its cover

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 3 Mar 2014, 17:57, Reply)

That's how I know not to trust black people

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 3 Mar 2014, 18:00, Reply)

Oh, I must have got that wrong, I thought it was the opposite.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 3 Mar 2014, 18:00, Reply)

my favourite book endorsement is on my copy of Pig Earth.
It just says 'a very good book'.

Other favourite is from The Informers: ...hypnotic prose which beats out these lives of quiet desperation with a slow pulse as gentle as it is compelling.'

Alright.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 3 Mar 2014, 18:00, Reply)

find someone with similar tastes
and get recommendations, obvs
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 3 Mar 2014, 18:00, Reply)

Get wolf hall and bring up the bodies

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 3 Mar 2014, 17:52, Reply)

I dunt like fiction.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 3 Mar 2014, 17:56, Reply)

Historical fiction innit, so you learn as you are entertained

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 3 Mar 2014, 17:57, Reply)

I will have a look, if they have them I will buy them, because I respect your opinion and admire you as a person.
However, I don't think you touching children's cunts is acceptable.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 3 Mar 2014, 18:01, Reply)

i have wolf hall
you can borrow my copy (except that it is a big hardback, so you might prefer the paperback for when you inevitably drop it in the pool)
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 3 Mar 2014, 18:03, Reply)

Oh, well I probably won't like it if you've got it. I'm not really interested in 'chick lit' and 'mummy porn'

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 3 Mar 2014, 18:05, Reply)

FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 3 Mar 2014, 18:06, Reply)

Trainsmirk

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 3 Mar 2014, 18:08, Reply)

he's just showing his own ignorance
how can you not have read wolf hall?!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 3 Mar 2014, 18:12, Reply)

I ent even heard of it

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 3 Mar 2014, 18:13, Reply)

it ain't sci fi, it ain't kurt vonnegut
not interested
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 3 Mar 2014, 18:16, Reply)

haha!
Typical larpoid.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 3 Mar 2014, 18:18, Reply)

You can get a cream to clear that up

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 3 Mar 2014, 18:21, Reply)

Also, there's a pool too? Will there be slides?

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 3 Mar 2014, 18:07, Reply)

why the fuck would you need to take swim wear if there wasn't a pool?
idiot boy
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 3 Mar 2014, 18:12, Reply)

Because hot tub

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 3 Mar 2014, 18:13, Reply)

nowhere has a hot tub and NOT a pool
this would be madness
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 3 Mar 2014, 18:16, Reply)

My mate has a hot tub but no pool. I understand this is a reasonably regular occurrence

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 3 Mar 2014, 18:18, Reply)

chicks dig hot tubs

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 3 Mar 2014, 18:20, Reply)

I also know someone with this scenario

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 3 Mar 2014, 18:20, Reply)

She don't know what she's talking about innit

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 3 Mar 2014, 18:21, Reply)

What a fucking idiot eh?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 3 Mar 2014, 18:22, Reply)

I'm embarrassed

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 3 Mar 2014, 18:22, Reply)

Do you make her walk several paces behind you?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 3 Mar 2014, 18:23, Reply)

No I don't take her outside anymore

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 3 Mar 2014, 18:24, Reply)

YES BUT DO THEY OWN A FIVE STAR HOTEL?
god, it's like talking to deaf idiots :(
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 3 Mar 2014, 18:26, Reply)

takes one to know one.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 3 Mar 2014, 18:27, Reply)

no returns

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 3 Mar 2014, 18:27, Reply)

Yes, I wouldn't have mentioned it otherwise.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 3 Mar 2014, 18:28, Reply)

Are you taking him to centre parcs?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 3 Mar 2014, 18:20, Reply)

maybe, now

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 3 Mar 2014, 18:26, Reply)

Ok well can I have the difference between your birthday present and my new birthday present in cash please thanks

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 3 Mar 2014, 18:29, Reply)

Alright
I'm pretty knackered myself, early night for me!
Alt: Madeline.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Mon 3 Mar 2014, 17:42, Reply)

Probably cos your so old and fat and old

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 3 Mar 2014, 17:44, Reply)

Predictable reply is predictable

(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Mon 3 Mar 2014, 17:45, Reply)

Fat old man is fat and old

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 3 Mar 2014, 17:46, Reply)

oh, i thought you were dozer
this is more insulting than anything I could actually say, so.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 3 Mar 2014, 17:49, Reply)

hey, stop cyber bullying me

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 3 Mar 2014, 17:57, Reply)

She's a terrible ginger harridan is what she is.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 3 Mar 2014, 17:58, Reply)

I heard that she drinks nothing but Irn Bru

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 3 Mar 2014, 18:01, Reply)

I am ace
alt: black
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 3 Mar 2014, 17:49, Reply)

racist

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 3 Mar 2014, 19:23, Reply)

Approx half knackered atm.
Alt. Word.
( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Mon 3 Mar 2014, 17:51, Reply)

I have ironed a shirt and am making dinner.
Alt: Citizen.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 3 Mar 2014, 17:54, Reply)

Alt: Jimmy

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 3 Mar 2014, 17:57, Reply)

He'd get it.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 3 Mar 2014, 17:58, Reply)

NEWS JUST IN:
THE BEST SMITH IS 'JAMES TODD SMITH'

May also be Johnny MARR.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 3 Mar 2014, 18:17, Reply)

Dunno what that is soz

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 3 Mar 2014, 18:22, Reply)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=fLn6nPIb9f4
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 3 Mar 2014, 19:27, Reply)

Cos, like, on the original release it said "MARRS" on the back.

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 3 Mar 2014, 19:30, Reply)

Brain dead, not hard, admittedly but by Christ I've had to work today.

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 3 Mar 2014, 19:12, Reply)

alt. The

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 3 Mar 2014, 19:13, Reply)