I embarrassed my ex when we were together, I bought several large packets of KY jelly when out shopping with her (birthday presents for Stunned, Boyce, Rakky & Jeff).

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 9:59, 2 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

nice
an old mate of mine used to worry when we went to a supermarket together that people would think we were a couple. I know, I know....he was an idiot.
So to wind him up, I'd occasionally hold his hand, or give him a little peck on the cheek. used to drive him crazy.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 10:01, Reply)

I like this

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 10:01, Reply)

If he complained I'd loudly say things like "baby, why are you like this?"
and "my mother was right about you"
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 10:02, Reply)

hahaha

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 10:03, Reply)

See. Shopping doesn;t have to be a chore

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 10:11, Reply)

It must be brilliant being gay
It's great fun pretending to be.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 10:14, Reply)

why was he worried?
did he think he could do better?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 10:02, Reply)

Better than Two Hats?
I THINK NOT
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 10:04, Reply)

Just insecure I suppose
I'm more of the opinion that (in spite of being heterosexual) I don't care what people think because it's nobody's business.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 10:06, Reply)

You're straight???

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 10:07, Reply)

I assume the "two hats" thing
means he is ac/dc
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 10:08, Reply)

There's no doubt some complicated code system involving how many hats you wear, how you wear them, etc.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 10:11, Reply)

haha
I have a pink grandad cap hanging out my right back pocket.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 10:12, Reply)

hahaha

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 10:15, Reply)

Oh my...
*drops monocle*
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 10:16, Reply)

I'm straight by default
but it's probably because I've just not met the right man. Can't count these things out y'know...you might be missing out on something wonderful.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 10:08, Reply)

Time to arrange a Portsmouth bash

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 10:10, Reply)

prefereably not in Portsmouth though

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 10:11, Reply)

Port Man
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 10:13, Reply)

*bats eyelids*

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 10:11, Reply)

*frogs legs*

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 10:12, Reply)

haha
actualol
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 10:12, Reply)

THIS^

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 10:08, Reply)

I had a happy day playing this game whilst helping a mate buy a double bed
nothing like getting on all fours on a bed in Ikea to help "test" out a bed
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 10:05, Reply)

Brilliant
I can imagine testing the sturdiness of the headboard. Leaning against it, back slightly arched....
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 10:07, Reply)

Got it in one

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 10:10, Reply)

I bet

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 10:12, Reply)

Being a cunt I sometimes sneak items into other peoples trollies
KY and noddys being a favourite double act
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 10:07, Reply)

I imagine this working well with geriatric women.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 10:08, Reply)

My personal fav
Is finding the single dad with child
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 10:14, Reply)

* checks trolley *

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 10:15, Reply)

whilst packing my bags at the supermarket, with "friends" unpacking the trolley I found myself holding some lube and a man's thong

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 10:11, Reply)

that's good
I assume we all play the conveyor belt divider game? Where we deliberately leave the divider thing where it is, and wait to see the reaction of the customer behind us.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 10:11, Reply)

Sometimes I like to curl one out between my shopping and see if they try and scan it

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 10:12, Reply)

"unexpected item in bagging area"

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 10:13, Reply)

tea+

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 10:14, Reply)

hehehe
I did this last night
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 10:14, Reply)

i don't understand...

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 10:15, Reply)

Many shoppers are literally terrified that there may be a mix-up between their items and the person in front or behind's
If you don't place the divider behind your shopping, the tension is palpable, until finally they crack and have to place it there themselves.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 10:18, Reply)

THE HORROR!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 10:21, Reply)

Im the first to place dividers on both sides of my shopping. even with 2 items.
I mainly use the self service thingies though as Im terribly antisocial when it comes to the great unwashed.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 10:29, Reply)

I used to occasionally frequent an old-fashioned Open All Hours type shop in the North of England
The protocol was to stand at the counter, listing the items you required, then the shopkeeper would dash around the shop fetching them for you.
It was all rather quaint.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 10:32, Reply)

last time Is aw one of them was Beamish.
It was a bit like that in my stoner days at the late night garage. eventually we wrote him a list.
Good relationship with that garage dude. We were very happy for our munch. Wrote him a christmas card and everything
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 10:34, Reply)

hahaha
Havent done for a while... may have to start again.
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 10:16, Reply)

Chompy's ex was particularly scared of this, it seems:
5.9.83.79/talk/7636497
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 10:19, Reply)

girl^

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 10:21, Reply)

Phwor

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 10:23, Reply)

You laugh, but I got to have sweaty internet sex with manolith

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 10:24, Reply)

Cor!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 10:27, Reply)