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This is a question Off Topic

Are you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.

(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Ever thrown a sex toy at a member of your family?
www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/mother-assaulted-with-vibrator-576321
(, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 8:25, 166 replies, latest was 12 years ago)
Terrible bullying of Bert.

(, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 8:29, Reply)
Bert should come back. This place is now sadly becoming devoid of mentals since Sob Carehome was banned.

(, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 9:15, Reply)
beware your wishes may come true
CQ had mental health problems, maybe he should come back too.
(, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 9:17, Reply)
I'm talking proper mentals, not pill popping amateurs.

(, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 9:23, Reply)
i'm pretty sure he fitted both categories
one day soon, they will start to find a series of bodies where the women were sliced into little pieces due to being tied to the spokes of a penny farthing and cycled around whitechapel
(, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 9:24, Reply)
A terrible way for BGB to die.

(, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 9:25, Reply)
but still more satisfying and less painful than sex with CQ

(, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 9:26, Reply)
Don't tell me he's yet another B3ta notch on your bedpost?
Fucking hell Swipe, your bed will end up as matchsticks if you carry on at this rate.
(, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 9:27, Reply)
Did he knob her?

(, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 9:29, Reply)
Yep.

(, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 9:31, Reply)
I did not know this

(, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 9:32, Reply)
Who? CQ and BGB or CQ and Swipe?
I think we need some kind of pictorial representation of who's shagged who on here.
(, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 9:44, Reply)
Where is Al when you actually need him?

(, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 9:46, Reply)
urrrrgh dear god no
I think I met him once, but I was utterly smashed.

however, we used to be FB friends, and I can safely say, not even with yours, mate.
(, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 9:50, Reply)
Hi steam powered mechanicock not to your liking?

(, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 9:55, Reply)
Not even with mine?
Are you suggesting that you have a cock?
(, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 10:02, Reply)
Is it compulsory for all /OT women to knob utter, utter pricks?
I presume this is why Dozer hangs out on here.
(, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 10:05, Reply)
I'm still hoping

(, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 10:10, Reply)
Not at my family, I've only ever thrown one up YM.

(, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 8:31, Reply)
What you stomped on Froglet for?
More bullying
(, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 8:31, Reply)
Small man syndrome innit.

(, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 8:33, Reply)
Because he's a cunt.

(, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 8:36, Reply)
Good point well made.

(, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 8:49, Reply)
It is a characteristic common on OT, and one on which great empires rise and fall.

(, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 8:51, Reply)
Mine was more of a probing 'anyone about?' generic morning thread, I welcome a better and sillier question with an open heart.
STOMPING CUNT
(, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 8:36, Reply)
good morning Frogular D

(, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 8:38, Reply)
Good morning Set Your Faces To Dozed

(, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 8:40, Reply)
yer im alright Froggsy Boyce

(, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 8:41, Reply)
I am glad to hear it, Reginald Dozeyfuck

(, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 8:44, Reply)
aye nae bither like JeffTheFrogFucker

(, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 8:46, Reply)
Fit like Ringoringorory?

(, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 8:51, Reply)
C-C-C-COMBOBREAKER!!!

(, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 8:52, Reply)
Good job.
It was getting v.silly.
(, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 8:54, Reply)
silly putty

(, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 8:37, Reply)
Haha once, yes

(, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 8:47, Reply)
I once beat a man to death with a 15" black rubber cock
Does that count?
(, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 9:04, Reply)
Were you related to this man?

(, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 9:08, Reply)
Not any more

(, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 9:12, Reply)
No, but I have told a donkey to fuck off.

(, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 9:04, Reply)
Morning.

(, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 9:14, Reply)
Morning all

(, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 9:17, Reply)
get fucked

(, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 9:18, Reply)
No, I've never owned a sex toy
The only thing I ever bought in a sex shop was poppers
(, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 9:20, Reply)
You can get all you need for a good time in a grocer's

(, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 9:23, Reply)
Poppers are fucking mental stuff

(, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 9:30, Reply)
'Member when baldmonkey stole Two Hats' wife's dildo?

(, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 9:21, Reply)
That was very funny.

(, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 9:22, Reply)
i remember when that nanny died after using a vibrator to watch porn
poor girl, not exactly what you want splashed all over the papers posthumously, is it?
(, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 9:23, Reply)
?

(, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 9:29, Reply)
^ confused

(, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 9:30, Reply)
How did she die?

(, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 9:30, Reply)
It was a dildo oh-no g-spot death woe

(, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 9:30, Reply)

Are we gonna let the elevator
Bring us down, oh, no let's go
(, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 9:39, Reply)
*starts fire*

(, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 9:41, Reply)
previously undiagnosed heart condition
when she got excited, she died.

they realised what she'd been doing because of how they found her. then somehow it made the papers.

NOT a good way to go.
(, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 9:51, Reply)
Not as bad as the Tory mp in stockings, with a satsuma in his gob. Amused me that 😊

(, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 9:53, Reply)
That ain't gonna trend on Twitter

(, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 9:54, Reply)
the thing is, however gross or bizarre or obscure or niche or disgusting or violent or filthy or pathetic a thing you can think of
someone, somewhere, has gotten off to it.

and probably put the film on the internet.
(, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 9:54, Reply)
Rule 34 FTW

(, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 10:22, Reply)
Would she not have been better off with a telly?

(, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 9:30, Reply)
haha!

(, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 9:30, Reply)
Excellent.

(, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 9:32, Reply)
officelol

(, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 9:38, Reply)
technology in scotland has not yet caught up...

(, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 9:51, Reply)
turnitoverlols

(, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 9:52, Reply)
I see
So you watch porn on your vibrator and shove a telly up your clunge? I've got you.

/WidescreenLOLs
(, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 10:00, Reply)
"We once saw daddy beat a man until both he and the man were crying."

(, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 9:40, Reply)
+ off

(, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 9:43, Reply)
ouch

(, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 9:44, Reply)
no
got in trouble with mrs hats for buying anal beads as a joke for her mum, and she made me take them back to the shop.
(, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 9:53, Reply)
hahahaha!

(, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 9:54, Reply)
When I told her I was going to do it, she thought it was funny
So naturally I assumed I had the green light. I bought green ones so I could make them into some sort of modernist christmas decoration. How funny would it have been if she#d actually put it on the mantel piece? Oh well.
(, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 9:56, Reply)
Unused?

(, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 9:54, Reply)

b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post2231521
(, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 9:55, Reply)
yes
but taking it back was really embarrassing.
(, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 9:56, Reply)
did they give them a sniff to check they were unused?

(, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 9:59, Reply)
A lick

(, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 10:01, Reply)
+ cow

(, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 10:06, Reply)
Mercifully, they were still in the packaging

(, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 10:01, Reply)
I embarrassed my ex when we were together, I bought several large packets of KY jelly when out shopping with her (birthday presents for Stunned, Boyce, Rakky & Jeff).

(, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 9:59, Reply)
nice
an old mate of mine used to worry when we went to a supermarket together that people would think we were a couple. I know, I know....he was an idiot.
So to wind him up, I'd occasionally hold his hand, or give him a little peck on the cheek. used to drive him crazy.
(, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 10:01, Reply)
I like this

(, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 10:01, Reply)
If he complained I'd loudly say things like "baby, why are you like this?"
and "my mother was right about you"
(, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 10:02, Reply)
hahaha

(, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 10:03, Reply)
See. Shopping doesn;t have to be a chore

(, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 10:11, Reply)
It must be brilliant being gay
It's great fun pretending to be.
(, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 10:14, Reply)
why was he worried?
did he think he could do better?
(, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 10:02, Reply)
Better than Two Hats?
I THINK NOT
(, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 10:04, Reply)
Just insecure I suppose
I'm more of the opinion that (in spite of being heterosexual) I don't care what people think because it's nobody's business.
(, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 10:06, Reply)
You're straight???

(, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 10:07, Reply)
I assume the "two hats" thing
means he is ac/dc
(, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 10:08, Reply)
There's no doubt some complicated code system involving how many hats you wear, how you wear them, etc.

(, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 10:11, Reply)
haha
I have a pink grandad cap hanging out my right back pocket.
(, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 10:12, Reply)
hahaha

(, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 10:15, Reply)
Oh my...
*drops monocle*
(, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 10:16, Reply)
I'm straight by default
but it's probably because I've just not met the right man. Can't count these things out y'know...you might be missing out on something wonderful.
(, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 10:08, Reply)
Time to arrange a Portsmouth bash

(, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 10:10, Reply)
prefereably not in Portsmouth though

(, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 10:11, Reply)

Port Man
(, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 10:13, Reply)
*bats eyelids*

(, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 10:11, Reply)
*frogs legs*

(, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 10:12, Reply)
haha
actualol
(, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 10:12, Reply)
THIS^

(, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 10:08, Reply)
I had a happy day playing this game whilst helping a mate buy a double bed
nothing like getting on all fours on a bed in Ikea to help "test" out a bed
(, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 10:05, Reply)
Brilliant
I can imagine testing the sturdiness of the headboard. Leaning against it, back slightly arched....
(, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 10:07, Reply)
Got it in one

(, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 10:10, Reply)
I bet

(, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 10:12, Reply)
Being a cunt I sometimes sneak items into other peoples trollies
KY and noddys being a favourite double act
(, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 10:07, Reply)
I imagine this working well with geriatric women.

(, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 10:08, Reply)
My personal fav
Is finding the single dad with child
(, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 10:14, Reply)
* checks trolley *

(, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 10:15, Reply)
whilst packing my bags at the supermarket, with "friends" unpacking the trolley I found myself holding some lube and a man's thong

(, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 10:11, Reply)
that's good
I assume we all play the conveyor belt divider game? Where we deliberately leave the divider thing where it is, and wait to see the reaction of the customer behind us.
(, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 10:11, Reply)
Sometimes I like to curl one out between my shopping and see if they try and scan it

(, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 10:12, Reply)
"unexpected item in bagging area"

(, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 10:13, Reply)
tea+

(, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 10:14, Reply)
hehehe
I did this last night
(, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 10:14, Reply)
i don't understand...

(, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 10:15, Reply)
Many shoppers are literally terrified that there may be a mix-up between their items and the person in front or behind's
If you don't place the divider behind your shopping, the tension is palpable, until finally they crack and have to place it there themselves.
(, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 10:18, Reply)
THE HORROR!

(, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 10:21, Reply)
Im the first to place dividers on both sides of my shopping. even with 2 items.
I mainly use the self service thingies though as Im terribly antisocial when it comes to the great unwashed.
(, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 10:29, Reply)
I used to occasionally frequent an old-fashioned Open All Hours type shop in the North of England
The protocol was to stand at the counter, listing the items you required, then the shopkeeper would dash around the shop fetching them for you.
It was all rather quaint.
(, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 10:32, Reply)
last time Is aw one of them was Beamish.
It was a bit like that in my stoner days at the late night garage. eventually we wrote him a list.
Good relationship with that garage dude. We were very happy for our munch. Wrote him a christmas card and everything
(, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 10:34, Reply)
hahaha
Havent done for a while... may have to start again.
(, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 10:16, Reply)
Chompy's ex was particularly scared of this, it seems:
5.9.83.79/talk/7636497
(, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 10:19, Reply)
girl^

(, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 10:21, Reply)
Phwor

(, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 10:23, Reply)
You laugh, but I got to have sweaty internet sex with manolith

(, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 10:24, Reply)
Cor!

(, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 10:27, Reply)
alright twat badgers?
Are you all going to be shit today?
(, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 10:06, Reply)
Looks that way

(, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 10:07, Reply)
Can't say I have, no.
I don't even own a sex toy...
Do men even need them? No deliveries in the back!!

Them fleshjack things, I suppose.
(, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 10:10, Reply)
I bet you've got a dildo like a baseball bat

(, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 10:14, Reply)
Leave your sick fantasies in your head.

(, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 10:14, Reply)
you should see himjim's work website
they supply sex toys to the more...... depraved homosexual.
(, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 10:18, Reply)
they are all depraved rachel
depraved and sick in the head and arse
(, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 10:20, Reply)
I am aware of such things.
Baffles me really. Must have had one fucked up childhood.

To each, his own, but I would never have dinner at their place.
(, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 10:26, Reply)
Not when you know what's been ran through the dishwasher

(, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 10:27, Reply)
Homo Run!

(, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 10:17, Reply)
Office smirk

(, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 10:18, Reply)

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