Morning. Good weekend?
Otherwise, talk amongst yourselves.
(DBT became a fruitarian on, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 8:20, 128 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Can any of you smart motherfuckers let me know why I am totally wrong in all possible ways about this
As a country we are always banging on about self determination and how as long as the Falkland Islanders want to be British fuck everyone else. Well aren't we saying exactly the opposite about Crimea? The vast majority seem to want to be part of Russia. Now I understand that there are probably a lot of good reasons not to let Russia get hold of them but how can we argue one population has the right to decide but not another? Surely Russia will just turn around and say "Fuck off you only don't want them to be part of Russia because you think we smell, well I fucked YM last night"
( Peej, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 8:27, Reply)

I happen to agree. If the majority want to be Russian, go for it.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 8:33, Reply)

It's pretty simple
As Britons we are on the side of righteousness and justice.
It's likely that God was British, therefore we have a kind of divine infallibility.
Whereas those Ruskies are renowned wrong'uns and, although we pretend to tolerate that rum Putin chap, we all remember he's an old school Soviet, who would poke you with a polonium-tipped umbrella as soon as look at you.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 8:40, Reply)

^^this^^
Plus the fact that there's shedloads of oil around the Falklands so Johnny Foreigner can fuck right off - it's ours.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 8:56, Reply)

alright Kroney

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 9:32, Reply)

Aye, great thanks
Good result in the football, good food, excellent beer, and nicely relaxing.

Yourself?
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 8:42, Reply)

I like Batemans' beers
They're all vegan and all.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 8:45, Reply)

Eh? I'm pretty sure beer doesn't have meat in it tangles

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 8:46, Reply)

That is correct, Nakers
Take one house point.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 8:50, Reply)

The winning house parties were awesome! Cake and jelly and games!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 8:52, Reply)

+ biscuit

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 8:58, Reply)

If you are referring to the game of "soggy biscuit" I would suggest we were to young
This was prep school so under 12s
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 9:01, Reply)

we never got parties :(
just lousy badges.

and when I was captain, a sash. and my house colour was bright yellow. this did nothing to endear me to the high school kids when I walked past them in my BROWN AND ORANGE uniform with a BOWLER HAT or STRAW BOATER.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 9:04, Reply)

Did you go to school in Enid Blyton land?

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 9:07, Reply)

no, cheshire....

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 9:19, Reply)

Me too.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 9:21, Reply)

where??

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 9:21, Reply)

Hollyoakes community college

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 9:23, Reply)

My house colour was yellow as well!
Maroon blazer and cap for me, with shorts and long socks
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 9:08, Reply)

dear god, that sounds almost as bad
my mum made me have a stupid pink my little pony lunchbox because she wasn't wasting money on a new one when i was only going to be there a year. i could only hide either the lunchbox or the hat in my bag, so most nights the one i didn't hide got ripped off me and mocked.

then i went to senior school where it was neon yellow and black. ffs. what's wrong with black and white???
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 9:21, Reply)

My house colours were Blue, thankfully I wasn't ever captain
And our uniform wasn't that retarded, not after leaving the junior school anyway.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 9:21, Reply)

Well, that's just ruined it.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 8:47, Reply)

Haha

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 8:50, Reply)

Quiet.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 8:46, Reply)

Quiet.I like stout at the minute, had a few nice ones.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 8:47, Reply)

Never been one for stout myself, they all seem to taste like coffee to me

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 8:47, Reply)

Really? Ourblocal has a few nice ones on.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 8:48, Reply)

Aye, whenever we go into our local, my friend has whatever stout they've got on
I always try it, but just never been a fan of them.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 8:50, Reply)

+ and morally lax woman

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 9:21, Reply)

Took me a minute there, not bad though

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 9:27, Reply)

Blocal
A man's favourite pub
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 9:54, Reply)

The snakes St Patrick banished from Ireland are a metaphor for pagans
He was a murderer and ethnic cleanser.

Cheers
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 8:46, Reply)

Morning.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 8:47, Reply)

Nah, just having a shit

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 8:48, Reply)

excellent weekend thank you
saw the family. the nieces and nephew loved the monkey sanctuary. not so sure what the monkeys thought of it.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 9:04, Reply)

They probably wonderd how an orangutan escaped

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 9:09, Reply)

Haha.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 9:10, Reply)

Textbook

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 9:13, Reply)

it's not surprising your new kid is hiding and doesn't want to come and meet you!

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 9:19, Reply)

He's already touched them on the cunt

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 9:21, Reply)

i think the new one will be a boy
i've got a tenner on it pissing in his eye within a month
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 9:21, Reply)

My nephew pissed in his own face not long after he was born, during a nappy change session
When my sister told me, I couldn't stop laughing.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 9:23, Reply)

you probably did the same thing
little boys are gross
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 9:27, Reply)

so are big boys

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 9:27, Reply)

You'd know

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 9:27, Reply)

my friends and i agreed at the weekend that all men, without exception, have skidmarked pants at some point
which women never do
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 9:28, Reply)

They leave them crusty instead.
Women are just as disgusting as men in one way or another, face it.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 9:29, Reply)

Why do women have legs?
Have you seen the mess slugs make?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 9:33, Reply)

Why do women wear makeup and perfume?
Becuase they're ugly and they smell.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 9:36, Reply)

No idea, I forced the woman that changed me to suicide, so can't exactly ask

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 9:27, Reply)

Having had a boy child and a girl child, I can confirm that both are capable of pissing into the air.
Although the boy one did seem to take the removal of a nappy as his cue.
/fobtm
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 9:40, Reply)

Morning shitbags
This is weird, I'm at work and the missus is at home. I don't like it. She might find the bodies.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 9:20, Reply)

at least you're working again instead of sponging off my taxes

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 9:21, Reply)

Actually I'm doing both
Thanks for the speedboat
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 9:23, Reply)

Everyone loves a bit of bully

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 9:24, Reply)

Take a look at what you could have bummed

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 9:36, Reply)

hello you
i don't know why you think you got 99 problems. our IT dept just had to downgrade my version of the internet because it couldn't cope with our billing system, or vice versa, and now you're all blue namers again. how am i going to know who is good and who is shite?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 9:23, Reply)

Everyone is shite

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 9:25, Reply)

"downgrade my version of the internet"
What?
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 9:26, Reply)

the browser, i meant

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 9:27, Reply)

Ahh

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 9:29, Reply)

If you append "good" and "shite" with "looking" then you're away

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 9:39, Reply)

Morning fella
Spent the weekend in the shadow of both Trent Bridge and the City Ground, your lot were quite loud on Saturday.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 9:25, Reply)

Was it gay pride?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 9:25, Reply)

Worse, Nottingham Forest fans.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 9:26, Reply)

I prefer Fathing Wood

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 9:31, Reply)

+r

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 9:33, Reply)

For all the good it did us
You must be fucking chuffed with your lot mate
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 9:40, Reply)

Glad with the win, not happy with Sturridge's dive.
Game balanced out though, stonewall penalty not given a minute later, Rafael stayed on the pitch (as did Flanagan), so the only one that can really complain about the refereeing is Vidic, but he should know that diving into a challenge like that as the last man is foolish.

Had a fantastic beer in West Bridgford whilst watching though, so that was nice.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 9:42, Reply)

Oh aye, whereabouts?
Thanks for the SnapChat of the home of football by the way, I love that view from the bridge
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 9:45, Reply)

No problem, was a nice day, figured I'd take a picture.
Pub was called The Monkey Tree
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 9:47, Reply)

Not familiar with that one
But will head there next time I'm visiting the folks, should try to make the visit coincide with one of yours
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 9:49, Reply)

It's on the road past the Trent Bridge Inn, but not heading towards City Ground or town
Bit confusing to describe. Basically, head towards West Bridgford, it's on the right.

Well, depending on how Friday's interview went, I may become a permanant resident sooner rather than later.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 9:59, Reply)

Fingers crossed for you mate

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 10:03, Reply)

Cheers fella

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 10:04, Reply)

Isn't there a pub near the bus station in Manchester called that?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 9:53, Reply)

I recall a pub called the ape and something in manchester.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 9:56, Reply)

Not that I'm aware of.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 9:59, Reply)

The Old Monkey

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 10:14, Reply)

If it helps
she is probably taking the opportunity to fuck the postman
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 9:25, Reply)

I've seen our postman
I hope he's got rohypnol. And a stepladder
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 9:41, Reply)

And some antibiotics.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 9:54, Reply)

Morning
Tired all day Sunday due to late night, so I went to bed early. Then took ages to get to sleep, woke up at 5:30 and couldn't get back to sleep.

So I'm full of fucking sunshine today.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 9:26, Reply)

sunshine fermented horse spunk
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 9:33, Reply)

Morning Lighters
Long time
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 9:45, Reply)

You're dead to me

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 9:53, Reply)

RESULT

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 9:55, Reply)

Not all that bad, no
Fucking knackered from loads of digging though. My arms HURT

Also, I managed to get a splinter in my finger yesterday. From a fucking EGG. WTF?
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 9:37, Reply)

Just laughed at your LinkedIn picture

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 9:39, Reply)

hook a brother up

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 9:39, Reply)

Sorry, will have to leave that up to Sporto
As I'm not Al
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 9:43, Reply)

Say CBEESE!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 9:46, Reply)

Sorry Sporto, we can still see the highlights

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 9:47, Reply)

Hey, it was a long time ago!
That was taken in Cancun
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 9:48, Reply)

Also, with your hair colourings you need to stop throwing stones!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 9:51, Reply)

I stopped that when I was 17, that's my excuse and I'm sticking to it!

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 9:54, Reply)

What
Everrrrrrrrr
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 9:54, Reply)

You'll notice I haven't passed comment...
Morning Sporters
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 9:56, Reply)

Morning Darth

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 10:01, Reply)

CBeebies more like

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 9:47, Reply)

Fucking hell, thats an old one!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 9:41, Reply)

yizplzkhamagen

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 9:47, Reply)

My mahogany tan isn't really helping, is it?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 9:48, Reply)

"How much is this Happy Shopper Cola?"
"dirdypants"
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 9:53, Reply)

LIES!
They are clean(ish)
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 9:55, Reply)

"Ohhhhhh, thirty pence?"

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 9:55, Reply)

IT'S JEFFSTOCK III WEEK!!!

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 9:44, Reply)

YESSS!!!!!

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 9:46, Reply)

Totes!

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 9:47, Reply)

texts from monty made me do a massive :(

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 10:02, Reply)

Sent from your mum's old school?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 10:02, Reply)

i didn't ask him where he was
so quite possibly
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 10:05, Reply)

Wassup?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 10:03, Reply)

in relation to jeffstock is all
nothing to worry about
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 10:05, Reply)

So pleased you never came down this weekend.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 10:03, Reply)

Spent yesterday morning under the car and now my neck, shoulders and arms are stiff as fuck.
Plus I've sliced my knuckle open down to the bone, almost.

Then I drove to Monmouth and back.
( Kroney, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 9:48, Reply)

Sorry to be unsympathetic
car current WWE Tag Team Champions
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 9:50, Reply)

That's be Uso painful.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 9:54, Reply)

Played
*polite applause*
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 9:56, Reply)

Too many jacket spuds eh?

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 9:50, Reply)

Number 3 place in the UK to live.
That said, some shat hole oop noorth was number 1 so I doubt the veracity of the survey.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 9:52, Reply)

Arsenal v West Brom 3rd May
Keep your eye out for tickets!
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 9:57, Reply)

Monmouth itself isn't very nice, I don't think.
We went for Goodrich castle.
( Kroney, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 9:58, Reply)

Yer.
Watched Sightseers last night - it were good.

I also refilled our biscuit tin. Wagon Wheels, muddyfunsters.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 10:04, Reply)

Wagon wheels are full of win
I had some Jammy Dodgers at the weekend too
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 10:06, Reply)

Sightseers is excellent
Very British.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 10:08, Reply)

Never been a fan of Wagon Wheels

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 10:11, Reply)

Not as big as they used to be though, eh?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 10:15, Reply)