When I get into power, I'm going to make it illegal to not reply to text asking you out within 30 minutes.
Even if its at midnight on a school night.

GOOD MORNING
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 6 May 2014, 8:56, 73 replies, latest was 11 years ago)

Morning Gonz

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 6 May 2014, 9:00, Reply)

Alright AA? She replied, I have a date on Saturday.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 6 May 2014, 9:06, Reply)

Wooooooooooooooooo

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 6 May 2014, 9:07, Reply)

Excellent work

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 6 May 2014, 9:09, Reply)

Good, good, well done, nice one.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 6 May 2014, 9:10, Reply)

How did you find her?
incontinentjewdating.com or colostomybaglove.co.uk?
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 6 May 2014, 9:12, Reply)

why, are you looking for tips?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 6 May 2014, 9:22, Reply)

Shut up you obese northern mess.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 6 May 2014, 9:23, Reply)

^ busted ^
how did lighty's second date go, anyway??
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 6 May 2014, 9:23, Reply)

How the fuck would I know? Ask him.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 6 May 2014, 9:25, Reply)

^upset at not being lightys date

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 6 May 2014, 9:26, Reply)

Yer.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 6 May 2014, 9:27, Reply)

i asked it on a public forum, where he or anyone who might have heard from him can see it
it's not ALL ABOUT YOU!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 6 May 2014, 9:28, Reply)

McFly's angry follow up single

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 6 May 2014, 9:29, Reply)

Then you should have posted it somewhere else, not in reply to me. Twat.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 6 May 2014, 9:29, Reply)

i thought you were his friend

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 6 May 2014, 9:31, Reply)

Lighty is no-ones friend
If Lighty were an ice cream flavour,
he'd be pralines and dick.
( Peej, Tue 6 May 2014, 10:15, Reply)

Woah! That's two days in a row I have seen that quote.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 6 May 2014, 10:20, Reply)

NetMums, you know those chicks put out.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 6 May 2014, 9:28, Reply)

Haha.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 6 May 2014, 9:31, Reply)

Congratulations

(Xav loves PhillieJoe, Tue 6 May 2014, 9:17, Reply)

My arms dont work properly any more
Too much bricklaying, paving slab moving, digging, etc.
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 6 May 2014, 9:09, Reply)

it'll be worth it when the police come knocking

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 6 May 2014, 9:11, Reply)

this^
The foundations of a new family
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 6 May 2014, 9:13, Reply)

I know that feeling.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 6 May 2014, 9:14, Reply)

Hows the arm?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 6 May 2014, 9:14, Reply)

Sore
Pisses me off though, first time on a bike in years, was going bloody well too!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 6 May 2014, 9:18, Reply)

What happened to your arm?

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Tue 6 May 2014, 9:21, Reply)

Fractured radial head in my left arm

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 6 May 2014, 9:23, Reply)

Did you knack your other wrist too?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 6 May 2014, 9:28, Reply)

Aye, but that is feeling much better
Trying it without a support this morning, see how it feels at lunch.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 6 May 2014, 9:29, Reply)

How did you manage to fuck yourself up so impressively?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 6 May 2014, 9:36, Reply)

Went over handlebars at speed

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 6 May 2014, 9:37, Reply)

ow

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 6 May 2014, 9:38, Reply)

Yep

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 6 May 2014, 9:40, Reply)

So you might be able to get your sex life back on track?

( Peej, Tue 6 May 2014, 10:29, Reply)

bricklaying, paving slab moving, digging, etc. spanking away like a rabid gibbon
(Xav loves PhillieJoe, Tue 6 May 2014, 9:15, Reply)

Well that too

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 6 May 2014, 9:16, Reply)

frog and i bought a budgie at the weekend
he was all sad when i left this morning :(

(the budgie, not frog, he doesn't give a fuck)
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 6 May 2014, 9:24, Reply)

I hope you've named it Tom Stilton.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 6 May 2014, 9:25, Reply)

Or Bebbeh

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 6 May 2014, 9:28, Reply)

he's called lemmy
because he is yellow and grey, so he is lemon meringue pied. but frog is insisting it has some musical reference...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 6 May 2014, 9:29, Reply)

also, for the avoidance of doubt (and i think there is only one person who has this doubt), his middle name is NOT "meatsnake".

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 6 May 2014, 9:29, Reply)

FUCKEN IS

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 6 May 2014, 9:31, Reply)

lol

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 6 May 2014, 9:34, Reply)

haha

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 6 May 2014, 9:52, Reply)

Oh man, I couldn't get a Budgy, Frank's ruined them.
Bunnies and Dogs are where it's at.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 6 May 2014, 9:29, Reply)

i'd love a dog, but the doggie day care fees would bankrupt me, with the hours i work and go out
it'll have wait until i'm a grown up. bunnies SUCK. see also hamsters and guinea pigs (sorry cavy).
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 6 May 2014, 9:30, Reply)

If you got a young family or granny in your block, they can look in on it.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 6 May 2014, 9:46, Reply)

"It" being her pants drawer

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 6 May 2014, 9:47, Reply)

Scarier than a Maine sewer thats for sure

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 6 May 2014, 9:51, Reply)

Smellier as well probably.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 6 May 2014, 10:00, Reply)

And deeper etc etc

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 6 May 2014, 10:25, Reply)

I like the budgerigar - live a long, long time.

( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Tue 6 May 2014, 10:40, Reply)

There are people in the world that don't like pork pie jelly. I think they take it out. Jesus.

(Xav loves PhillieJoe, Tue 6 May 2014, 9:49, Reply)

Nutters

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 6 May 2014, 9:51, Reply)

Hanging is too good for them.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 6 May 2014, 9:52, Reply)

But... but...
then it's just a sausage roll!
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 6 May 2014, 9:53, Reply)

There are such people in the world, it's true.
They're more to be pitied than scolded, it's clearly an aberration that they can't help.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Tue 6 May 2014, 9:59, Reply)

I want a pork pie now
with some cbeese and pickled onions
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 6 May 2014, 10:07, Reply)

Me too
I got some awesome cbeese at a game fair - Snowdon Black Bomber, well worth looking for.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Tue 6 May 2014, 10:10, Reply)

That stuff is gorgeous
Trebuchet me some over old boy
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 6 May 2014, 10:11, Reply)

this^

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 6 May 2014, 10:11, Reply)

Their Beechwood smoked is awesome too
They do a Red Leicester style one that actually tastes of cbeese instead of just being a rubbery red lump*

*awaits obvious replies
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Tue 6 May 2014, 10:13, Reply)

I love smoked cbeese
I think Gonz has just bought a smoker
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 6 May 2014, 10:14, Reply)

I have a smoker
You have to be careful about the type of sawdust you use and the length of smoking or your food ends up tasting of tar
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Tue 6 May 2014, 10:16, Reply)

I might have a go at making one in the garden

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 6 May 2014, 10:17, Reply)

I took my sister and nephew to the Harry Potter Experience at the weekend.
Dear Christ Warner Bros is a well-oiled machine - they completely rinse the customers.

Quite fun, though - the castle at the end's good.

Then went to see Phantom Of The Opera, and a bloke was upset and surprised when, having decided to talk loudly to his girlfriend during one of the quiet bits, he got shushed.

People with no social decorum should be shot.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 6 May 2014, 10:15, Reply)

I no longer have a mobile phone
and texting is fucking shit.
( Peej, Tue 6 May 2014, 10:16, Reply)

Is this by design or accident?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 6 May 2014, 10:16, Reply)

I lost it and haven't bothered to replace it
I know people that will go home on a night out of they have forgotten their phone. Fuck that. I hate the fucking things. If people want me then they can send a carrier pigeon or something. I can remember the last time I phoned someone on mine but it was definitely last year.
( Peej, Tue 6 May 2014, 10:28, Reply)

My work phone conked out just before I went on holiday
I had no phone, text, gmail, facebook, twitter, etc for almost three weeks. It was wonderful
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 6 May 2014, 10:32, Reply)

If you're doing it without a mobile 'phone it's referred to as "typing".

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 6 May 2014, 10:18, Reply)