Technology Fails
Tell me tales of your fails when it comes to the realms of technology please. I found two games wedged into the Wii this morning, explaining possibly why it wasnt working properly. I also managed to electrocute myself in the neck when reaching behind some old networking equipment many years ago

Alt:
With 6 months of 2014 gone already, how has your year been?
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 18 Jun 2014, 13:52, 192 replies, latest was 11 years ago)

It's 2014?
Fuck.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 18 Jun 2014, 13:53, Reply)

Seeing as you asked so nicely, go on then

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 18 Jun 2014, 13:56, Reply)

I once bought a Behringer mixer.
Major technology fail.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 18 Jun 2014, 13:53, Reply)

I tried to hoover up water once, it didn't go well.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 18 Jun 2014, 14:01, Reply)

stay about from my dyson

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 18 Jun 2014, 14:02, Reply)

I used it when I smashed your stuff on Monday. Troo story.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 18 Jun 2014, 14:03, Reply)

*evicts*

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 18 Jun 2014, 14:03, Reply)

You can't, I don't live there

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 18 Jun 2014, 14:04, Reply)

Top property lawyer, right there

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 18 Jun 2014, 14:05, Reply)

THAT'S £575 PLEASE
plus vat and disbs
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 18 Jun 2014, 14:07, Reply)

JUST WATCH ME

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 18 Jun 2014, 14:07, Reply)

I will if I must, but to be honest I will probably be asleep when you get back to 'evict' me

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 18 Jun 2014, 14:07, Reply)

stu back doors o
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 18 Jun 2014, 14:10, Reply)

OI

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 18 Jun 2014, 14:24, Reply)

god, where do you begin?
every clock in my flat tells a different time. if i want to use my alarm clock, i have to set it 3 hours and 6 mins after i want to get up. or maybe 2 hours and 6 mins at the moment, i forget.

i don't back up anything. ever. hence losing all my contacts, pics and messages when i smashed my iphone the other week.

i end up buying songs twice, once for my ipad and once for my ipod, as a consequence. then i get cross when they end up on there twice after a few months.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 18 Jun 2014, 14:02, Reply)

Jesus.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 18 Jun 2014, 14:03, Reply)

^ DENIES IT BUT TOTALLY WORKS IN IT ^

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 18 Jun 2014, 14:03, Reply)

Because I can set the time on a clock?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 18 Jun 2014, 14:05, Reply)

no, because you have IT written through you
like a stick of vegan-friendly rock
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 18 Jun 2014, 14:07, Reply)

Just because I'm hairy, smelly, lack social skills and am quite unattractive to the opposite sex, doesn't mean I work in IT
There are other nerd disciplines, you know?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 18 Jun 2014, 14:09, Reply)

Such as being a ********* manager in the **************** industry

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 18 Jun 2014, 14:10, Reply)

Precisely.
Although I don't often define myself by my 'career'
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 18 Jun 2014, 14:11, Reply)

e
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 18 Jun 2014, 14:11, Reply)

As long as my arse is wiped properly, who cares?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 18 Jun 2014, 14:12, Reply)

Pic plz

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 18 Jun 2014, 14:15, Reply)

( * )

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 18 Jun 2014, 14:17, Reply)

( )*( )

( Peej, Wed 18 Jun 2014, 15:27, Reply)

I don't even have a career.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 18 Jun 2014, 14:12, Reply)

Lawyer's Bitch is a valid career

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 18 Jun 2014, 14:13, Reply)

The pay is terrible though

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 18 Jun 2014, 14:13, Reply)

Fucking hell
Frog, sort it please
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 18 Jun 2014, 14:08, Reply)

It entails the difficult task of buying batteries, and she never pays me for stuff so I'm not getting them.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 18 Jun 2014, 14:09, Reply)

Yeah, but you could sync her iPad and iPhone

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 18 Jun 2014, 14:10, Reply)

I could, yes, but I'm not allowed access to these private devices

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 18 Jun 2014, 14:11, Reply)

Try the old voucher trick

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 18 Jun 2014, 14:13, Reply)

iPad and iPhone off Beachy Head and no one would bat an eyelid.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Wed 18 Jun 2014, 14:15, Reply)

tip of the iceberg innit
i've never worked out how to re-set the mileage when i fill up with petrol, stupid fancy electronic system

i bought a new ps2 from ebay for about £65 including urgent postage because i didn't trust myself to order the right cables. turns out i had them all along.

i regularly get incensed with the tube gates because my work ID doesn't make a very good oyster card.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 18 Jun 2014, 14:10, Reply)

YAAFI

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 18 Jun 2014, 14:11, Reply)

YOU

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Wed 18 Jun 2014, 14:13, Reply)

ARE

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Wed 18 Jun 2014, 14:13, Reply)

A

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Wed 18 Jun 2014, 14:13, Reply)

FUCKING

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Wed 18 Jun 2014, 14:13, Reply)

IDIOT

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Wed 18 Jun 2014, 14:14, Reply)

I've just frantically refreshed to see this turning up
Well done
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 18 Jun 2014, 14:14, Reply)

\o/
You must be bored as fuck
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Wed 18 Jun 2014, 14:17, Reply)

I know I am

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 18 Jun 2014, 14:30, Reply)

I was trying to ruin the layout but you beat me.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 18 Jun 2014, 14:14, Reply)

I knew someone would try so I had to work quickly
*blows on smouldering fingers*

*awaits strikethrough*
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Wed 18 Jun 2014, 14:16, Reply)

You deserve that one, well done.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 18 Jun 2014, 14:18, Reply)

\o/
Ta.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Wed 18 Jun 2014, 14:19, Reply)

bit gay m8

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 18 Jun 2014, 14:23, Reply)

^ works in IT ^

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 18 Jun 2014, 14:23, Reply)

^ cable fuckwit ^

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Wed 18 Jun 2014, 14:24, Reply)

i'm proud of it
you cannot say the same.

please.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 18 Jun 2014, 14:39, Reply)

That is because you are a fucking idiot.

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Wed 18 Jun 2014, 14:40, Reply)

I'm shit at computers. My laptop gets hotter than a ginger's crotch and moves as slowly as YM does from a cake.
It's also well old - at least five years.

My 'phone is my main tech tool these days.

Alt: alright.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 18 Jun 2014, 14:02, Reply)

alright

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 18 Jun 2014, 14:06, Reply)

I managed to keep our home desktop going for over 10 years before it finally packed in

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 18 Jun 2014, 14:09, Reply)

In olden days I single-handedly brought down our Mainframe
resulting in all 500 staff being unable to do any work for the whole afternoon.

IBM took away my program to study it, as "that's not supposed to happen".
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Wed 18 Jun 2014, 14:10, Reply)

Nice work

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 18 Jun 2014, 14:11, Reply)

I'd only been there a year or two so I was bricking it
Thankfully the top dog was more interested in booting IBM's arse rather than mine.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Wed 18 Jun 2014, 14:18, Reply)

I deleted the redo logs of a couple of Oracle databases while they were up and running.
Turns out Oracle databases don't like that very much.

Aside from that, just the usual mixing up development and production databases and deleting stuff; thankfully I've always been able to salvage it and cover my tracks before anyone has noticed.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 18 Jun 2014, 14:19, Reply)

We have a pastie club here at work
If you do something stupid and bring down a system you go on the pastie board and have to get a full round in for the team
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 18 Jun 2014, 14:22, Reply)

I like both pasties and this idea.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 18 Jun 2014, 14:22, Reply)

It sharpens the mind as a round will cost £15

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 18 Jun 2014, 14:29, Reply)

Extra carrot for me please

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 18 Jun 2014, 15:22, Reply)

Our IT manager
I once knackered his goolies on a dustbin lid.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 18 Jun 2014, 14:23, Reply)

did he do a skid?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 18 Jun 2014, 14:23, Reply)

Quicker and simpler, I suppose

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 18 Jun 2014, 14:25, Reply)

And better

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 18 Jun 2014, 14:26, Reply)

And SHUT UP YEAH

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 18 Jun 2014, 14:26, Reply)

Alright mate don't cry

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 18 Jun 2014, 14:26, Reply)

I'M NOT CRYING I'VE JUST GOT SOMETHING IN MY EYE

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 18 Jun 2014, 14:28, Reply)

YEAH
MY FUCKING FIST
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 18 Jun 2014, 14:37, Reply)

or something

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 18 Jun 2014, 14:37, Reply)

is it a flake of faecal matter from battered's toilet ipad?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 18 Jun 2014, 14:37, Reply)

Ew

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 18 Jun 2014, 14:50, Reply)

He came down from heaven on a Yamaha.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 18 Jun 2014, 14:26, Reply)

Our IT manager Jesus Christ, superstar
I knackered smashed goolies head
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 18 Jun 2014, 14:25, Reply)

I dopped my iPad & it bounced off the edge of the urinal, cracking the screen.
Could have been worse - could have ended up covered in piss.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 18 Jun 2014, 14:28, Reply)

YOU ARE A FUCKING IDIOT HAR HAR HAR

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 18 Jun 2014, 14:30, Reply)

I see what you did there. Well done.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 18 Jun 2014, 14:31, Reply)

Wank somewhere with softer cushions

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 18 Jun 2014, 14:31, Reply)

One of the most common type of insurance claim
devices dropped in toilets
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 18 Jun 2014, 14:31, Reply)

Like dildos?

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 18 Jun 2014, 14:32, Reply)

Fucking love them, thanks for asking

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 18 Jun 2014, 14:36, Reply)

i wish i weren't laughing quite so hard at this

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 18 Jun 2014, 14:37, Reply)

Sent from my piss covered iPad.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 18 Jun 2014, 14:33, Reply)

iPiss

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Wed 18 Jun 2014, 14:41, Reply)

uPiss

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 18 Jun 2014, 14:41, Reply)

We all piss for ice piss!

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 18 Jun 2014, 14:43, Reply)

ice piss with my little ice

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 18 Jun 2014, 14:43, Reply)

wiiPiss?

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Wed 18 Jun 2014, 14:43, Reply)

I thought against buying that game

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 18 Jun 2014, 14:43, Reply)

More than 3 shakes of the controller is zzzzzzz

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Wed 18 Jun 2014, 14:47, Reply)

I once woke up to find I'd sleepwalked over to my laptop and pissed on it.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 18 Jun 2014, 14:34, Reply)

Impressive

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 18 Jun 2014, 14:36, Reply)

why did you have your ipad in the toilet?
ugh faecal fingers
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 18 Jun 2014, 14:36, Reply)

I'm not even sure I could shit these days without a phone or tablet to play with.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 18 Jun 2014, 14:38, Reply)

Killing time waiting for the other cottagers to turn up

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 18 Jun 2014, 14:39, Reply)

He was young and restless
He needed to unwind

WITH A MASSIVE SHIT
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 18 Jun 2014, 14:42, Reply)

"I've just made space for you ;-)"

( Muns, Wed 18 Jun 2014, 14:47, Reply)

ewwww

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 18 Jun 2014, 14:48, Reply)

I've listened to a 45 at 33rpm and not realised.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 18 Jun 2014, 14:55, Reply)

Me too
Faith No More single B side was a 33rpm recording for some reason
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 18 Jun 2014, 14:55, Reply)

I've got one double LP which flits back and forth between 33 and 45 from side to side

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 18 Jun 2014, 15:00, Reply)

There is a rumour going around on Twitter that Gazza has died.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 18 Jun 2014, 14:55, Reply)

I cant find anything other than one or two tweets
:o( - sad emoatycon
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 18 Jun 2014, 15:01, Reply)

There appear to be as many tweets dismissing it as announcing it

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 18 Jun 2014, 15:03, Reply)

Nothing on Sky news & they're normally the fastest with this sort of thing.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 18 Jun 2014, 15:03, Reply)

It's almost like it's a load of old bollocks that wasn't worth mentioning.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 18 Jun 2014, 15:04, Reply)

Rather like your relationship.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 18 Jun 2014, 15:05, Reply)

Or your failed marriage, access issues or fucking potty training.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 18 Jun 2014, 15:07, Reply)

Correct.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 18 Jun 2014, 15:07, Reply)

Fucking prick wasting everyone's time like that

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 18 Jun 2014, 15:05, Reply)

Good.
Tedious wanker.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 18 Jun 2014, 15:03, Reply)

Until it's on the BBC, it hasn't happened.

( Kroney, Wed 18 Jun 2014, 15:03, Reply)

There's a rumour going around on myspace that Robbie has died

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 18 Jun 2014, 15:04, Reply)

DANGER WILL ROBINSON

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 18 Jun 2014, 15:05, Reply)

There's a rumour going around on MSN Messenger that Bebo has died.

( Kroney, Wed 18 Jun 2014, 15:05, Reply)

Oh man
He was my favourite bearded Eastender
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 18 Jun 2014, 15:06, Reply)

There's a rumour going round on a closed bridge that Battereds marriage has ended.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 18 Jun 2014, 15:08, Reply)

Well this is "fucking" "shit".

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 18 Jun 2014, 15:18, Reply)

^^^^^

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 18 Jun 2014, 15:19, Reply)

Let's have a debate on religion.
I fucking hate muzzers.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 18 Jun 2014, 15:20, Reply)

All Jews are cunts.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 18 Jun 2014, 15:23, Reply)

Fucking right they are.
We've got Spurs first day of the season.

I never felt more like gassing the jewssss.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 18 Jun 2014, 15:24, Reply)

I hate agnostics

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 18 Jun 2014, 15:25, Reply)

Did you hear the one about the dyslexic, insomniac agnostic?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 18 Jun 2014, 15:26, Reply)

Yeah

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 18 Jun 2014, 15:27, Reply)

Good.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 18 Jun 2014, 15:31, Reply)

I AM APATHETIC TOWARDS ZOROASTRIANISM
I JUST FIND IT A LITTLE ESOTERIC FOR MY TASTES
( Kroney, Wed 18 Jun 2014, 15:33, Reply)

I just want to know where those Jains get off

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 18 Jun 2014, 15:34, Reply)

AND I WANT YOU TO SHOW MEEEEEE

( Kroney, Wed 18 Jun 2014, 15:36, Reply)

It's all MUSIC CHAT with you since you got that record player up and running

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 18 Jun 2014, 15:36, Reply)

anyone got any updates on the gazza situation?

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 18 Jun 2014, 15:24, Reply)

:'(
twitter.com/streboRnayR/status/479252126796095488/photo/1
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 18 Jun 2014, 15:27, Reply)

CARNT BEELEEVE IT

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 18 Jun 2014, 15:28, Reply)

How can I coooook 2 fresh guts an all sea bass? Kingheee.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 18 Jun 2014, 15:37, Reply)

No?
I'll look it up then.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 18 Jun 2014, 15:48, Reply)

Has anyone else watched the tv programme, or whatever it is, that Monty and Stunned keep quoting from?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 18 Jun 2014, 15:43, Reply)

Yes. Naked Ape said he dreamt I looked like one of them.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 18 Jun 2014, 15:44, Reply)

Hairy Bikers innit

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 18 Jun 2014, 15:45, Reply)

I've got their curry and pie cookbooks.
They're alright.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 18 Jun 2014, 15:47, Reply)

I've not read any of them

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 18 Jun 2014, 15:48, Reply)

You haven't seen the Hairy Bikers?
DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 18 Jun 2014, 15:46, Reply)

It's funny 'cos they're "nice".

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 18 Jun 2014, 15:49, Reply)

They're funny because they are fat avuncular Northerners.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 18 Jun 2014, 15:52, Reply)

Beyond my remit soz

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 18 Jun 2014, 15:55, Reply)

You want to have a word with whoever makes your rules.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 18 Jun 2014, 15:58, Reply)

Not worth it, he's a prick

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 18 Jun 2014, 16:00, Reply)