What have you had a stroke of recently?
www.independent.co.uk/video/?videoid=3634045956001
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 25 Jun 2014, 14:50, 133 replies, latest was 11 years ago)

Your mum

( Kroney, Wed 25 Jun 2014, 14:50, Reply)

I can tell by her face

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 25 Jun 2014, 14:56, Reply)

I'm a man's man, no time to talk

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 25 Jun 2014, 15:04, Reply)

Yes, my grandfather is currently in intensive care having suffered a massive stroke on Tuesday night.

( Bazongaloid, Wed 25 Jun 2014, 14:57, Reply)

Pretty insensitive of jaysum to post this, in the light of that.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 25 Jun 2014, 14:58, Reply)

I thought the gays were more empathetic

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 25 Jun 2014, 14:59, Reply)

He's a real cunt isn't he.
I come on here for a bit of light relief and there he is, throwing it in my face again.

What a fucking cunt. I hope he gets AIDS.
( Bazongaloid, Wed 25 Jun 2014, 15:00, Reply)

It's surely only a matter of time

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 25 Jun 2014, 15:01, Reply)

Act FAST

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 25 Jun 2014, 15:02, Reply)

Not a bit, all they think about are other men's bottoms and willies and that

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 25 Jun 2014, 15:00, Reply)

and throwing "it" in peoples faces

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 25 Jun 2014, 15:03, Reply)

You have an IT problem again

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 25 Jun 2014, 15:04, Reply)

this is a blackberry glitch

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 25 Jun 2014, 15:05, Reply)

Thats a week answer

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 25 Jun 2014, 15:07, Reply)

eh?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 25 Jun 2014, 15:09, Reply)

WTN
Blackberry week
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 25 Jun 2014, 15:10, Reply)

eh?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 25 Jun 2014, 15:12, Reply)

Must be a Northern term
uk.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20101019133829AAnzJq3
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 25 Jun 2014, 15:15, Reply)

+e

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 25 Jun 2014, 15:05, Reply)

Very good

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 25 Jun 2014, 15:05, Reply)

and throwing "it" in peoples faces

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 25 Jun 2014, 15:03, Reply)

Did he post a selfie?

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 25 Jun 2014, 15:04, Reply)

How is he, Al?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 25 Jun 2014, 15:11, Reply)

5.9.83.79/questions/offtopic/post2310995
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 25 Jun 2014, 14:58, Reply)

A hot pussy only last night
My neighbours, in fact
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 25 Jun 2014, 15:00, Reply)

Me too, it was a long haired black.
They're my favourite. They're always so accommodating.
( Kroney, Wed 25 Jun 2014, 15:01, Reply)

It was called Jimmy Five Bellies

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 25 Jun 2014, 15:02, Reply)

Al's grandfather on Tuesday night

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 25 Jun 2014, 15:01, Reply)

Me too

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 25 Jun 2014, 15:03, Reply)

An eagle owl last Sunday.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 25 Jun 2014, 15:01, Reply)

I know a cracking owl sanctuary

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 25 Jun 2014, 15:01, Reply)

CSB

( Kroney, Wed 25 Jun 2014, 15:02, Reply)

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 25 Jun 2014, 15:03, Reply)

You joined the Labour Party?

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 25 Jun 2014, 15:06, Reply)

I dont believe so, no

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 25 Jun 2014, 15:07, Reply)

well you are northern...

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 25 Jun 2014, 15:08, Reply)

I couldnt vote for Ed
He looks like he is mid-stroke
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 25 Jun 2014, 15:08, Reply)

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 25 Jun 2014, 15:05, Reply)

either battered has grown or that woman is tiny

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 25 Jun 2014, 15:06, Reply)

Fuck off.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 25 Jun 2014, 15:10, Reply)

have you ever been to Longstanton spice museum?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 25 Jun 2014, 15:04, Reply)

I almost went to Winsford Salt Museum a few years ago

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 25 Jun 2014, 15:05, Reply)

Cumberland Pencil Museum FTW

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Wed 25 Jun 2014, 15:12, Reply)

www.telegraph.co.uk/travel/weird-wide-world/9698132/Britains-most-boring-days-out.html
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 25 Jun 2014, 15:13, Reply)

I'm surprised that today on off topic isn't listed

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 25 Jun 2014, 15:19, Reply)

Off topic: more shit than a trip to Bournemouth Sewage Works.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 25 Jun 2014, 15:21, Reply)

Local vets did an open day & had a bi display of owls, falcons etc.
Edit for pedants:

bi BIRD
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 25 Jun 2014, 15:08, Reply)

Fucking gays get everywhere

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 25 Jun 2014, 15:08, Reply)

IYAAA!!

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 25 Jun 2014, 15:10, Reply)

hahahaha!
officegiggle
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 25 Jun 2014, 15:11, Reply)

flirting^

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 25 Jun 2014, 15:14, Reply)

^jealous

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 25 Jun 2014, 15:15, Reply)

No*




*Yes
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 25 Jun 2014, 15:25, Reply)

I'm leaving work in just over an hour
Where are we meeting?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 25 Jun 2014, 15:25, Reply)

Oh...this is awkward...I'm on the train home

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 25 Jun 2014, 15:36, Reply)

No Naked Rape for you

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 25 Jun 2014, 15:37, Reply)

Oh. Fine.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 25 Jun 2014, 15:39, Reply)

As you know there are no pubs/shops/restaurants or sentient life around the station so I dunno where we'd go anyway

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 25 Jun 2014, 15:46, Reply)

There's a lovely bar about five minutes walk from the station.
I couldn't have met you anyway, got to pick the kids up.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 25 Jun 2014, 15:54, Reply)

^upset

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 25 Jun 2014, 15:54, Reply)

WHY WONT NAKERS BE MY FRIEND?? :'(

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 25 Jun 2014, 15:55, Reply)

Come and play the railway and I'll watch*



*if you get me a free ticket and free beer and I can drink said beers in the pub over the road
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 25 Jun 2014, 16:04, Reply)

There's a good gig on next month.
It does look like the sort of place we should play.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 25 Jun 2014, 16:06, Reply)

You are correct it's a shithole

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 25 Jun 2014, 16:13, Reply)

a bi display?
this was on the internet, wasn't it?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 25 Jun 2014, 15:08, Reply)

Yes.*


*no.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 25 Jun 2014, 15:09, Reply)

twit twat twock

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 25 Jun 2014, 15:13, Reply)

Thats a night out in Meadowell

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 25 Jun 2014, 15:16, Reply)

I lived there for about 2 months.
Each night I feared for my life.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 25 Jun 2014, 15:22, Reply)

From urban dictionary:
"Every resident of Meadowell is either a charv, tramp, druggie, prostitute, crack whore, pedophile, violent criminal or all of these examples merged into one."

Which one are you?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 25 Jun 2014, 15:25, Reply)

The Mos Eisley of Tyne and Wear
When we had the mental rainstorm a few years ago I got turfed off my Metro home there. Had to walk 2 miles into North Shields (not much better) and shelter in a pub there
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 25 Jun 2014, 15:30, Reply)

i WAS A CHAV, TO ANSWER YOUR QUERY

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 25 Jun 2014, 17:43, Reply)

I didn't because I live in a civilised part of the country.

( Kroney, Wed 25 Jun 2014, 15:27, Reply)

Brentford?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 25 Jun 2014, 15:42, Reply)

The South East.

( Kroney, Wed 25 Jun 2014, 15:55, Reply)

The South East - where they have to put up warnings to tell people not to drink from the toilets?
How civilised.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Wed 25 Jun 2014, 16:39, Reply)

For a minute there it looked as though this thread might get off the ground.
But no, it has fallen flat on its face, along with the others.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 25 Jun 2014, 15:33, Reply)

I'm hungry, tangles

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 25 Jun 2014, 15:35, Reply)

I just had a bounty

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 25 Jun 2014, 15:36, Reply)

I had a Twix earlier on
Stupid Boots meal deals. I'm a big lad
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 25 Jun 2014, 15:37, Reply)

I'm not, I've lost weight by doing nothing

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 25 Jun 2014, 15:41, Reply)

It's alright I'm here and I have train cans!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 25 Jun 2014, 15:35, Reply)

Yeah. Great.
I'll go and sit in the pub on my own then.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 25 Jun 2014, 15:40, Reply)

That sounds great

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 25 Jun 2014, 15:40, Reply)

Certainly better than having a pint with me

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 25 Jun 2014, 15:42, Reply)

Sorry

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 25 Jun 2014, 15:37, Reply)

It's you that I'm most disappointed in.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 25 Jun 2014, 15:40, Reply)

Why?

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 25 Jun 2014, 15:41, Reply)

I expected more from you.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 25 Jun 2014, 15:41, Reply)

More fool you

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 25 Jun 2014, 15:43, Reply)

SAID SWIPE AT THEIR FIRST CONSUMATION!!!!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 25 Jun 2014, 15:43, Reply)

GREAT JOKE MATE!! WEIRD NO ONE IS POSTING INNIT?!?!?!?!

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 25 Jun 2014, 15:44, Reply)

ANYONE KNOW ANY MUM JOKES?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 25 Jun 2014, 15:45, Reply)

Your mums so fat she'll probably die young!!!!!!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 25 Jun 2014, 15:47, Reply)

How young? She's already 70

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 25 Jun 2014, 15:51, Reply)

+stone

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 25 Jun 2014, 15:56, Reply)

She despises fat people.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 25 Jun 2014, 15:58, Reply)

Living in cov must be hard then

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 25 Jun 2014, 15:59, Reply)

YOU ARE MUM YURT SOMETHING LOL

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 25 Jun 2014, 15:49, Reply)

THX M8 ITBOH

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 25 Jun 2014, 15:47, Reply)

You'll be the only one here at this rate

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 25 Jun 2014, 15:48, Reply)

I MIGHT FUFIL MY DESTINY

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 25 Jun 2014, 15:50, Reply)

Come to the dark side

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 25 Jun 2014, 16:09, Reply)

Yep

( Kroney, Wed 25 Jun 2014, 15:41, Reply)

^ Gallic shrug

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 25 Jun 2014, 15:45, Reply)

Curry night tonight. :)
Last week was a sell out, so I 've done some nan and poppadums. Rock and roll, eh?
(DBT became a fruitarian on, Wed 25 Jun 2014, 15:51, Reply)

Alright Bear Pookie

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 25 Jun 2014, 15:52, Reply)

Afternoon
I'm stalled at work while I wait for my ticket to be actioned. I assigned it to the SA team instead of DBAs as normal because I was told it had changed; SA assign to DBAs, "we don't do that"; DBAs assign back to SA, "yes you do" etc

It's like the world's slowest tennis match. A day and a half to copy 2 files from one server to another - and it still isn't done.

On the plus side I've got 2 bottles of whisky and a pair of trainers in a bag under my desk. Internet shopping FTW.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 25 Jun 2014, 15:55, Reply)

Blah blah blah blah blah
Whiskey
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 25 Jun 2014, 15:57, Reply)

IT anecdotes are always fascinating

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 25 Jun 2014, 15:57, Reply)

I have a £20 Boots voucher, some travel sickness pills, a loom band thingy and a Lego movie character

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 25 Jun 2014, 15:57, Reply)

+ in my vagina

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 25 Jun 2014, 15:59, Reply)

Stop thinking about sporto's cunt

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 25 Jun 2014, 16:00, Reply)

STAY ABOUT FROM MY SPORTCUNT

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 25 Jun 2014, 16:09, Reply)

I wanted to buy some trainers yesterday so after trying on and then vocally stating that I would like to buy a pair, the sales assistant fucked of to stack shelves and left me waiting. In the end I didn't buy the trainers.
True story.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 25 Jun 2014, 16:03, Reply)

'"The Life and Times of MeatSnake"
'the autobiography of MeatSnake is a compelling read, full of tragedy and pathos, joy and triumph. However it is his everyman anecdotes that really lift this work above the pack'

***** Paul Ross.
( Kroney, Wed 25 Jun 2014, 16:05, Reply)

I might start a new thread everyday which will just be my blog about the exciting stuff i get up to.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 25 Jun 2014, 16:06, Reply)

I am quite literally wetting my pants in anticipation.

( Kroney, Wed 25 Jun 2014, 16:08, Reply)

That tops my anecdote
and it was the most interesting thing that's happened today. God help me.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 25 Jun 2014, 16:10, Reply)

My train can just slid off the fold down table and drenched my crotch :(
I smell like monty
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 25 Jun 2014, 16:03, Reply)

Is there no drink recess in the fold down tray of your povvo train? ha ha!!

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 25 Jun 2014, 16:03, Reply)

It was on my laptop

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 25 Jun 2014, 16:04, Reply)

Excellent placement
You fucking mong
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 25 Jun 2014, 16:09, Reply)

I blame railtrack for not making smoother track

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 25 Jun 2014, 16:15, Reply)

You thought the best place for an open can of beer was on top of your laptop?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 25 Jun 2014, 16:16, Reply)

What do I look like a IT expert?!
These fold down tables are so shit my open laptop slides odd them onto my lap
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 25 Jun 2014, 16:18, Reply)

Yeah, whats the worst that could possibly happen?
Oh
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 25 Jun 2014, 16:19, Reply)

Yeah I get it, this train is retarded

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 25 Jun 2014, 16:20, Reply)

InterSHITTY.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 25 Jun 2014, 16:21, Reply)

This is the age of the mong

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 25 Jun 2014, 16:25, Reply)

Aquari-mong

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 25 Jun 2014, 16:27, Reply)

gay

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 25 Jun 2014, 16:05, Reply)

UPDATE!!
My files have been transferred! Turns out, and I'm seriously not kidding, SA move files TO the unix server and DBA move files FROM the unix server.

I'm going to have a little cry.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 25 Jun 2014, 16:44, Reply)