b3ta.com qotw
You are not logged in. Login or Signup
Home » Question of the Week » Off Topic » Post 2318382 | Search
This is a question Off Topic

Are you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.

(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
Pages: Latest, 836, 835, 834, 833, 832, ... 1

« Go Back | Popular

It turns out that Dr Bent Troll isn't the only thicky in the NHS:
www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-28166019
and that all those famous spies were actually shit and drunk:
www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-cambridgeshire-28143770

Are you any good at your job? Do you think you could do someone else's job better than they could?

Alt: Ever noticed the logo used on Lyle's Golden Syrup? Bit weird innit?
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 7 Jul 2014, 11:04, 143 replies, latest was 11 years ago)
Alt,
We had to do a school project on it when I was about 8. Dead lions ftw
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Mon 7 Jul 2014, 11:05, Reply)
Out of the strong came forth sweetness

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 7 Jul 2014, 11:09, Reply)
Yes, I know
I had to do a school project on it.
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Mon 7 Jul 2014, 11:18, Reply)
I'm pretty good at my job, sick notes don't write themselves. Just bored stupid with it. #midlifecrisis.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Mon 7 Jul 2014, 11:10, Reply)
Have you considered having an affair?
Your wife is clearly not interested in you any more and it might put the spring back in your step.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 7 Jul 2014, 11:14, Reply)
and if not a spring in your step
then possibly a burn in your urethra
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 7 Jul 2014, 11:28, Reply)
I'm so ace at my job everything is so incredibly efficient I have virtually done myself out of a job and have nothing to do for most of the day.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 7 Jul 2014, 11:17, Reply)
Sold many biscuits today? If we take the pub, we may be looking for a biscuit supplier.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Mon 7 Jul 2014, 11:22, Reply)
What sort of cunt goes to the pub for a biscuit?

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 7 Jul 2014, 11:22, Reply)
I am 100% behind this statement

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 7 Jul 2014, 11:23, Reply)
i could get on board with biscuits in the pub
there are not many situations in life that are not improved by the addition of a decent biscuit
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 7 Jul 2014, 11:24, Reply)
Fingerbanging

(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Mon 7 Jul 2014, 11:26, Reply)
Jam fingers

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 7 Jul 2014, 11:26, Reply)
Yeah, most pubs have scampi fries these days.

(I helped save b3ta! Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 7 Jul 2014, 12:06, Reply)
I don't know for sure but I would hazard a guess that lager is not improved with a biscuit.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 7 Jul 2014, 11:27, Reply)
"Digestive top, guv?"

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 7 Jul 2014, 11:28, Reply)
'Bourbon please......no the biscuit, what else would I mean?'

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 7 Jul 2014, 11:30, Reply)
Ginger nuts with Lager
Digestives with Ales.

Pink wafer with alcopops.

its just about matching the correct biscuit.
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 7 Jul 2014, 11:30, Reply)
Brandy Snaps - Brandy/Schnapps

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 7 Jul 2014, 11:32, Reply)
see the clues are all there if you look hard enough

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 7 Jul 2014, 11:33, Reply)
NICE

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 7 Jul 2014, 11:33, Reply)
Brandy snaps?

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Mon 7 Jul 2014, 11:32, Reply)
Biscuits are good in any situation Hobnobs and a pint?

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Mon 7 Jul 2014, 11:27, Reply)
Every time I think we have plumbed the depths of your spasticity, you up your game. It's quite impressive.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 7 Jul 2014, 11:29, Reply)
Ty love xxx

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Mon 7 Jul 2014, 11:31, Reply)
I think this new pub venture is a guaranteed success

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 7 Jul 2014, 11:31, Reply)
I'm looking forward to the first b4ysh at 'Tbe Redd Loin'

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 7 Jul 2014, 11:33, Reply)
officelol

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 7 Jul 2014, 11:34, Reply)
i wanted to find that picture of the kid who had drawn a lion
and called it "the loin". it's fucking genius, the expression on its face. can't find it :(((
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 7 Jul 2014, 11:43, Reply)
but i do wish i hadn't google image searched "the loin children"
:(
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 7 Jul 2014, 11:45, Reply)
No football shirts, trainers or bent socks, sorry.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Mon 7 Jul 2014, 11:38, Reply)
Have you forgotten you live in Kent? Good luck finding customers that avoid these 'essential' items.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 7 Jul 2014, 11:39, Reply)
I was "in" Kent at the weekend.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 7 Jul 2014, 11:41, Reply)
Is this the lead up to a 'my mum' joke?

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 7 Jul 2014, 11:42, Reply)
Hahaha, no.
I was in Paddock Wood.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 7 Jul 2014, 11:48, Reply)
Hop Farm?

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 7 Jul 2014, 11:49, Reply)
Yer.
Music was mostly rubbish.

And the tickets were quite expensive although the site is good and it isn't completely jammed.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 7 Jul 2014, 11:51, Reply)
That line up looks terrible
Why did you go to that?
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 7 Jul 2014, 11:54, Reply)
Something to do.
I thought the weather was going to be good.

tbh it's all about the sitting in a field getting stoned.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 7 Jul 2014, 11:57, Reply)
Do you not have fields near your house?

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 7 Jul 2014, 11:58, Reply)
Sort of.
But I'd get knicked if I got caught smoking a joint in a South London park.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 7 Jul 2014, 12:00, Reply)

field garden

/tangles
(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 7 Jul 2014, 11:59, Reply)
I did do that, it's true.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 7 Jul 2014, 12:00, Reply)
I've haven't been as the line up is usually 'fucking shit'
But I have been to the actual working hop farm for a fun AND educational time!
(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 7 Jul 2014, 11:54, Reply)
Funducational

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 7 Jul 2014, 12:02, Reply)
I am good at my job because it entails being a difficult wanker.
But it also involves a lot of mediation and arbitration of vastly differing opinions which I am not bad at.

I have little interest in other peoples jobs, I just wish people would do them properly.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 7 Jul 2014, 11:17, Reply)

mediation cocaine arbitration of vastly differing opinions lunchtime drinking
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 7 Jul 2014, 11:21, Reply)
You could have just added c to mediation

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 7 Jul 2014, 11:22, Reply)
On that note, I have a nice lunch at Chamberlains in Leadenhall Market today.
You might want to look it up whilst you are enjoying your Halloumi sandwiches.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 7 Jul 2014, 11:27, Reply)
What's the vegetarian option?

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 7 Jul 2014, 11:28, Reply)
/ac

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 7 Jul 2014, 11:28, Reply)
It's a fish restaurant. Mainly.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 7 Jul 2014, 11:32, Reply)
But I don't eat fish.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 7 Jul 2014, 11:33, Reply)

Morel Gnocchi
With Spring vegetables & lemon thyme dressing
16.50
Cauliflower & Truffle Gratin
Garnished with wild mushroom dressing
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 7 Jul 2014, 11:36, Reply)
Sounds horrible
Have I not suffered enough?
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 7 Jul 2014, 11:45, Reply)
Wow do lesbians get their own eating establishments now.

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 7 Jul 2014, 11:33, Reply)
So you can fuck off

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 7 Jul 2014, 11:33, Reply)
Ham, Egg and Chips starter
followed by the Sirloin steak I think.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 7 Jul 2014, 11:36, Reply)
PLAN

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 7 Jul 2014, 11:36, Reply)

i am very good at my job. and yes. i would be a great queen of england. i would be a shit librarian.

alt: rip rory.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 7 Jul 2014, 11:21, Reply)
You'd also be shit at cutlery distribution

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 7 Jul 2014, 11:22, Reply)
pfffft
whilst he scuttles off to the kitchen to get a big massive spoon to disturb his mouth, my nimble fork has already stolen all the good bits.

what's shit about that?
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 7 Jul 2014, 11:23, Reply)
Putting the hurt into yoghurt

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 7 Jul 2014, 11:23, Reply)
I am good at my job, yes
Not sure about anyone elses though. They can keep them.
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 7 Jul 2014, 11:21, Reply)
OH HEY GUYS ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT JOBS?

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 7 Jul 2014, 11:28, Reply)
The second link, picture on the right.
Nakers.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 7 Jul 2014, 11:29, Reply)
Yes!
Also, how cool is the 'man believed to be John Cairncross', with his sunglasses over the top of his regular glasses?
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 7 Jul 2014, 11:31, Reply)
double glasses are the future

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 7 Jul 2014, 11:32, Reply)
My new sunglasses are here!

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 7 Jul 2014, 11:33, Reply)
THANK THE LORD
now you can wear 2 pairs at the same time.
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 7 Jul 2014, 11:34, Reply)
I cant :o(
I lost my other ones
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 7 Jul 2014, 11:34, Reply)
Wear them on top of your normal glasses = instant cool.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 7 Jul 2014, 11:34, Reply)
ima poke myself in the eye RIGHT NOW so I can get normal glasses

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 7 Jul 2014, 11:36, Reply)
I think you have misunderstood how glasses work

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 7 Jul 2014, 11:46, Reply)
Who said that?

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 7 Jul 2014, 11:53, Reply)
My new cycling glasses have an insert that you can get prescription lenses put in the that sit behind the sunglasses
you can't see them once they're clipped in. I can't decide if its genius or sad. I'm actually considering having lenses put in.
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Mon 7 Jul 2014, 12:06, Reply)
Why not just wear prescription sunglasses?
Seeing as it's relevant, I have a mild suspicion of anyone who wears 'reactive' glasses or permanently wears glasses with a slight tint.
(I helped save b3ta! Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 7 Jul 2014, 12:13, Reply)
Cycling glasses are a tad different to my regular prescription sunglasses and have 5 different lenses that interchange dependent on conditions.

(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Mon 7 Jul 2014, 12:21, Reply)
who says cyclists are cunts, eh?

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 7 Jul 2014, 12:21, Reply)
cyclists.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 7 Jul 2014, 12:23, Reply)
Pretty much

(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Mon 7 Jul 2014, 12:23, Reply)
You, over and over again. But then you are so wrong about nearly everything that I doubt anyone takes much notice of you anymore.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 7 Jul 2014, 12:24, Reply)
MY TASTE IN MEN IS AT THE TOP OF THAT LIST

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 7 Jul 2014, 12:32, Reply)
WE KNOW!

(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Mon 7 Jul 2014, 12:32, Reply)
I'm not a man, I'm a pygmy :(

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 7 Jul 2014, 12:33, Reply)
And a 'fat tattooed smoking commoner'

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 7 Jul 2014, 12:33, Reply)
You smoke tattoos?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 7 Jul 2014, 12:35, Reply)
All the cool kids are doing it these days.

(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Mon 7 Jul 2014, 12:35, Reply)
I SMOKED YOUR MUMS 'TATTS'
or something
(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 7 Jul 2014, 12:42, Reply)
urgh, she was horrific

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 7 Jul 2014, 12:37, Reply)
Well i'm not going to wear sunglasses at night am I!

(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Mon 7 Jul 2014, 12:24, Reply)
I go outside and get on fine with my normal glasses, unless it's really bright; I wear darker ones.
I fail to see how being atop a bike would make this any different.
(I helped save b3ta! Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 7 Jul 2014, 12:29, Reply)
When I ride my bike I am at some points doing close to 50mph
I would A. Rather not have a stone smack in to my nice expensive prescription glasses and B. Would prefer rather more eye coverage at that speed than my regular everyday glasses offer.
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Mon 7 Jul 2014, 12:32, Reply)
Pussy.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 7 Jul 2014, 12:36, Reply)
it's because he's inbred
and therefore cross-eyed
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 7 Jul 2014, 12:36, Reply)
hahah!
Needs more goggles
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 7 Jul 2014, 11:33, Reply)
>:(

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 7 Jul 2014, 12:13, Reply)
<:)))

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 7 Jul 2014, 12:22, Reply)
Monty'll tell you what a handsome devil I am

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 7 Jul 2014, 12:25, Reply)
How was your date with Monty?

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 7 Jul 2014, 12:26, Reply)
I now know what a samurai top knot is

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 7 Jul 2014, 12:29, Reply)
What does your wife think about you meeting people off the internet?

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 7 Jul 2014, 12:31, Reply)
she thinks it's weird

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 7 Jul 2014, 12:32, Reply)
It is.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 7 Jul 2014, 12:32, Reply)
agreed, but the girls played really well together, it was sweet

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 7 Jul 2014, 12:36, Reply)
I can't wait for COV BASH

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 7 Jul 2014, 12:38, Reply)
Be there on Thursday bruv

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 7 Jul 2014, 12:40, Reply)
We're all quite normal and likeable, for the most part.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 7 Jul 2014, 12:38, Reply)
he said you were charming
so i think you must have sent a decoy
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 7 Jul 2014, 12:31, Reply)
deck shoes, chino shorts and jack wills shirt? Nah, that was deffo me

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 7 Jul 2014, 12:32, Reply)
chino shorts?
that's a thing??
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 7 Jul 2014, 12:37, Reply)
I have 2 pairs!

(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 7 Jul 2014, 12:39, Reply)
Yer, it's where I keep my penis when it's hot

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 7 Jul 2014, 12:39, Reply)
oh
i thought that was YM
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 7 Jul 2014, 12:42, Reply)
Turns out Gates was the good guy all along, who knew

(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 7 Jul 2014, 11:30, Reply)
The woman across the office from me is loudly trying to recruit for a "toilet attendant position".
Possibly the worst job ever?
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 7 Jul 2014, 11:39, Reply)
Especially getting your face smashed in by Cheryl Cole

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 7 Jul 2014, 11:44, Reply)
As long as she didn't talk, she could pretty much do whatever she wanted to me.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 7 Jul 2014, 11:47, Reply)
Get it reet oop ther Gaston, pet man pet.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 7 Jul 2014, 11:49, Reply)
this^
I'd smash her rose garden right in
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 7 Jul 2014, 11:53, Reply)
Lynn Andersons latter work had more of an edge

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 7 Jul 2014, 12:04, Reply)
I beg your pardon?

(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 7 Jul 2014, 12:27, Reply)
I'm OK at my job yeah, I thought I was fairly average until I went to a big site and worked with some of the laziest, most dangerous men in the world. Now I feel quite good.
I could probably do a few jobs better than a few people, but then there are plenty of morons who seem to get in to positions way over their head and stay there. It always surprises me.

Alt: something bibley isn't it? I won't touch the stuff.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 7 Jul 2014, 12:04, Reply)
Bibles or golden syrup?

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 7 Jul 2014, 12:09, Reply)
Both.

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 7 Jul 2014, 12:15, Reply)
you don't like treacle tart?
that's one of the only puddings i like!
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 7 Jul 2014, 12:21, Reply)
Yeah, but your mouth is a whole mess of wrong.

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 7 Jul 2014, 12:22, Reply)
it's a refined palace of delicacies ACTUALLY

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 7 Jul 2014, 12:31, Reply)
Treacle Tart is a fucking liar anyway
There's no treacle in it. Fucking whore of dish!
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Mon 7 Jul 2014, 12:34, Reply)
it's a trap
to seduce you into eating golden syrup
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 7 Jul 2014, 12:37, Reply)
Im canny at my job.
Been registering programmes on a few new PC's today for our expansion.

alt. all the fruits on the maoam sweets are fucking.
(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 7 Jul 2014, 12:26, Reply)

« Go Back | Reply To This »

Pages: Latest, 836, 835, 834, 833, 832, ... 1