F-F-F-F-Fucking Friday bitches!
YEAH! The sun is shining and the coffee is here. How are you celebrating today? I might have a poo of biblical proportions soon

Alt:
6 weeks holidays! Tell me tales of your childhood adventures
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 25 Jul 2014, 10:14, 140 replies, latest was 11 years ago)

Friday! I am going to A Celebration Of The Vagabonds that The Senior Vagabond has ordered, to be held at my sister's house.
There's going to be about 30 of us, including cousins from Canadia and lesbians and evangelical Christians and everything.

On my first summer holiday without my parents, I saw my friend jump off a 9-foot wall with a can of beer, falter in his landing and do a forward roll, and stand up and proudly declare "Not a drop spilt!"
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 25 Jul 2014, 10:18, Reply)

My mate managed to do that down a 50' bank at the seafront with a bottle of wine
One of the funniest things I've ever seen!
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 25 Jul 2014, 10:52, Reply)

in a similar fashion I once fell backwards off a pub bench holding a (pretty much) full pint of guiness and somehow didnt spill a drop.

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 25 Jul 2014, 11:00, Reply)

Guinness is basically a solid

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 25 Jul 2014, 11:02, Reply)

Every 4th pint when on a sesh

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 25 Jul 2014, 11:04, Reply)

Trouble is, the next morning if you look into the bowl after the 'gentleman's morning weight loss regime'...
It looks like you've drowned a small family of moles
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Fri 25 Jul 2014, 11:35, Reply)

And that's a BAD thing, right?

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 25 Jul 2014, 11:40, Reply)

If done properly, mole drowning can be considered as 'fun for all the family'
It is still frowned upon by the leftist pinko city types but they don't understand country ways - like bloodsports, incest, racism and bigotry.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Fri 25 Jul 2014, 11:44, Reply)

They're brought this once-great country to it's knees.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 25 Jul 2014, 12:13, Reply)

to it is knees

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 25 Jul 2014, 12:13, Reply)

So nice we play it twice.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 25 Jul 2014, 12:20, Reply)

Fucking payday, *again*, Crow. I can't get rid of the stuff fast enough :(
I'm celebrating Friday by having a nice evening in with Swipey and the budgie, and eating 'nyyominzzzmy' pasta.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 25 Jul 2014, 10:18, Reply)

Just send ginge to the ATM for you, she'll sort you out

(Captain Give-A-Fuck #internetpals4eva, Fri 25 Jul 2014, 10:20, Reply)

I'm not going to be test driving a selection of boring sounding cars.

( Kroney, Fri 25 Jul 2014, 10:19, Reply)

No wai me too!

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 25 Jul 2014, 10:22, Reply)

I can't really tell one day from another any more
Alt: We always spent the first three weeks of the summer holidays in France. No kids burnt my neck. I liked it.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 25 Jul 2014, 10:22, Reply)

Oh FFS woman phones up IT because her Facebook isn't working and then phones again 22 minutes later to ask why no-one has been to fix it.
I am so fucking glad I am out of that world now.
( Peej, Fri 25 Jul 2014, 10:24, Reply)

So why has no-one been to fix it?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 25 Jul 2014, 10:25, Reply)

Because she's a woman, duh.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 25 Jul 2014, 10:26, Reply)

Because they're all too busy on facebook

( Peej, Fri 25 Jul 2014, 10:27, Reply)

IT people dont use facebook
They are on Twatter now
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 25 Jul 2014, 10:29, Reply)

In-laws are flying in on Sunday morning, so my wife has decided that we're decorating the rest of the house.
So tonight: Second coat in the hallway, stripping the wallpaper from the bathroom and painting the wall, washing the carpets, painting the bedroom, glossing the banister (Not even in the euphemistic sense!) and re-pointing the patio slabs in the front garden. At least I'm used to going 48-72 hours without sleep.

Fuck my life.
( Muns, Fri 25 Jul 2014, 10:24, Reply)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=N6lOTU5jODs
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 25 Jul 2014, 10:29, Reply)

It's all jobs I had to do anyway and I've been putting off for months.
So I really have to blame myself. And the jews.
( Muns, Fri 25 Jul 2014, 10:35, Reply)

Stout fellow.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 25 Jul 2014, 10:44, Reply)

I'm not employing fucking navvies to do the work!

( Muns, Fri 25 Jul 2014, 10:49, Reply)

Racist.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 25 Jul 2014, 11:05, Reply)

You're assuming I'm racist rather than tight?
Typical fucking paki.
( Muns, Fri 25 Jul 2014, 11:48, Reply)

Quiet, Jew.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 25 Jul 2014, 12:05, Reply)

I made a foolish error yesterday in eating a pack of sugarfree mints
They really do have a laxative effect
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 25 Jul 2014, 10:24, Reply)

Oh man, I learnt this the hard way on cub camp once

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 25 Jul 2014, 10:25, Reply)

I am going to try the same experiment again with 2 packs

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 25 Jul 2014, 10:28, Reply)

Might as well, he doesn't need them

( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Fri 25 Jul 2014, 11:36, Reply)

cub camp
camp cub
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 25 Jul 2014, 11:03, Reply)

i was gonna go to the forest of dean and hide in the bushes
now i'm not so sure
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 25 Jul 2014, 10:26, Reply)

aka Welsh Geocaching

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 25 Jul 2014, 10:36, Reply)

alright

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 25 Jul 2014, 10:30, Reply)

I will be having a quiet afternoon in preparation for a mildly busy weekend
Alt: I used to spend a lot of summers with my siblings at my grandparent's place in Snowdonia. Lakes, mountains, rivers , woods and forays on to Anglesey for fishing and swimming in the sea. Happy, happy days.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Fri 25 Jul 2014, 10:56, Reply)

Probably piss it away in various drinking establishments.
On Sunday a local cinema is showing Alien and Aliens back to back. Might go to that.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 25 Jul 2014, 11:01, Reply)

back to back
So they play aliens from finish to start man that would be fucked up
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 25 Jul 2014, 11:16, Reply)

Smelly tits:
5.9.83.79/questions/badideas/post2332143
Just sayin'
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 25 Jul 2014, 11:06, Reply)

tl;dr just sayin'

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 25 Jul 2014, 11:08, Reply)

By skiving off early, and going to visit a friend in hospital who seems to be having some bowel trouble.
Something about shit pipes inside him attaching to stomach linings or something. I dunno. Who listens to doctors anyway?

Alt: I remember glorious long summers running about the fields across the way, trying to sneak up on squirrels and playing guns and generally being loud obnoxious and smelly. I miss it.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 25 Jul 2014, 11:16, Reply)

I seem to be having some bowel trouble this morning.
Fucking Deuchars.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 25 Jul 2014, 11:17, Reply)

Friend of mine had a 'bit of a bowel problem' 3 months ago - didn't think it was serious
Had 7' of bowel removed and a colostomy 2 months ago.
HTH
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Fri 25 Jul 2014, 11:31, Reply)

I'm in the barbers, waiting for a haircut
They've got This Morning on, and some fat wanker of a 'psychic' is talking bollocks about horoscopes. How the fuck do people watch this shit all the time?

Pub time in a bit, not wasting this opportunity.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 25 Jul 2014, 11:19, Reply)

I saw Zulu for the first time at the weekend.
I think they should remake it.

Bradley Cooper to be the Colour Sergeant.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 25 Jul 2014, 11:21, Reply)

mmm bradley. although he did get booted off the top spot by benedict a little while ago.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 25 Jul 2014, 11:23, Reply)

Benedict has a weird face,
He looks like he belongs on a plastic surgery disasters website.
( Peej, Fri 25 Jul 2014, 11:27, Reply)

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 25 Jul 2014, 11:29, Reply)

Tyree Cooper's the best Cooper.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 25 Jul 2014, 11:25, Reply)

Mini Cooper's the best Cooper.

( Peej, Fri 25 Jul 2014, 11:28, Reply)

Russ Abbot's the best cooper

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 25 Jul 2014, 11:30, Reply)

Oh Jesus wept
www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-28464009
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 25 Jul 2014, 11:37, Reply)

"There is no logic in attacking something that has a proven track record," he told BBC News.
It is the antithesis of that.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 25 Jul 2014, 11:40, Reply)

Detain this fucking cretin under Section 28
Clearly 'a danger to himself or others'.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Fri 25 Jul 2014, 11:41, Reply)

Yeah he makes some good points

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 25 Jul 2014, 11:44, Reply)

OH tangly wangly woo

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 25 Jul 2014, 12:05, Reply)

Hahaha
"I'm not afraid to be laughed at."

Well, that's handy.
( Kroney, Fri 25 Jul 2014, 11:48, Reply)

I wonder how he feels about being pointed at and described as a 'Fucking bellend'

(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Fri 25 Jul 2014, 11:52, Reply)

probably the same way you do.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 25 Jul 2014, 12:08, Reply)

I'm sure his colleagues were humouring him when they let him make them all charts.
Keeps him out the way for a while, I suppose.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 25 Jul 2014, 12:00, Reply)

What are the chances that he goes the full 'Icke' before the next election?

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 25 Jul 2014, 11:58, Reply)

( Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 25 Jul 2014, 12:14, Reply)

Bureucrat, eh?

( Kroney, Fri 25 Jul 2014, 12:15, Reply)

has anyone seen Gary around?
I wanted to know if he could score me some weed.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 25 Jul 2014, 12:08, Reply)

Tulisa is starting to look more and more like Peter Burns as time goes by.

( Kroney, Fri 25 Jul 2014, 12:16, Reply)

cor!

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 25 Jul 2014, 12:19, Reply)

Hiyaaa.
Im saying bye bye Whitby. Or should that be Shitby?
Nah it was ok. A bit boring after a couple days.
I have train cans and disapproving looks from the Grandad at the next table. Fuck you Gramps.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 25 Jul 2014, 12:21, Reply)

nobody cares.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 25 Jul 2014, 12:21, Reply)

Maybe you should offer him a drink
Rather than fostering the bitter anger that you have
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 25 Jul 2014, 12:23, Reply)

It's not because of the train cans, it's because of the horrible vest you're wearing.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 25 Jul 2014, 12:24, Reply)

No one wants to see a fat guy in a vest

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 25 Jul 2014, 12:26, Reply)

strikethrough u add a

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 25 Jul 2014, 12:26, Reply)

+ bald

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 25 Jul 2014, 12:26, Reply)

I don't even own an vest

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 25 Jul 2014, 12:26, Reply)

Im sure they stretch to that in Boyes
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 25 Jul 2014, 12:46, Reply)

*something about you stretching boys*

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 25 Jul 2014, 12:53, Reply)

im not even wearing a vest you bunch of bitches.
Dozer is just sad because I never met him for a drink.
Just as well this place is closing today. Its poisoned you all.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 25 Jul 2014, 12:43, Reply)

yeah we never made any arrangement to meet, you prissy little bitch

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 25 Jul 2014, 12:49, Reply)