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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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I'm in the smoke next month
What's your favourite place in our capital? I like the Greenwich foot tunnel

Alt: What's the best all nighter club you've been to?

AltaltL: I'm in the mood for some massive drugs, you holdin'?
(, Wed 24 Sep 2014, 15:36, 201 replies, latest was 10 years ago)
dozer is a prick to all questions

(, Wed 24 Sep 2014, 15:38, Reply)
fucken up yer game apey

(, Wed 24 Sep 2014, 15:39, Reply)
ok, well there are lots of great places in the captial, but i'm gonna say Barnes, just because it was home for so long
alt: i dunt really do clubbin

altalt: I have some nice Bordeaux I brought home from my holiday does that count?
(, Wed 24 Sep 2014, 15:40, Reply)
The guided tour of Lord's is brilliant.
Alt: Round YM's gaff

AltAlt: YM's got a massive stash
(, Wed 24 Sep 2014, 15:40, Reply)

st g
(, Wed 24 Sep 2014, 15:40, Reply)
Oh you cunt.

(, Wed 24 Sep 2014, 15:41, Reply)
and you spazzed your strike through you piss weasel

(, Wed 24 Sep 2014, 15:42, Reply)
Go fuck yourself.

(, Wed 24 Sep 2014, 16:27, Reply)
and also
ff sh
(, Wed 24 Sep 2014, 15:41, Reply)

st g
(, Wed 24 Sep 2014, 15:41, Reply)
UH-OH!

(, Wed 24 Sep 2014, 15:42, Reply)
Altalt: collecting tonight

(, Wed 24 Sep 2014, 15:40, Reply)
I rather enjoyed a walk along the banks of the Thames
+ Tayyabs

Alt:
Massive party on an island in Loch Lomond

AltAlt:
Not taken any in many a year
(, Wed 24 Sep 2014, 15:42, Reply)
sTAY ABOUT FROM MY THAMES

(, Wed 24 Sep 2014, 15:42, Reply)
YOU DON'T OWN IT, SHITPANTS

(, Wed 24 Sep 2014, 15:44, Reply)
I'm in London in December.
Best all nighter prolly Fabric. Radioactive Man live in room 2, Damian Lazarus in room 1.
(, Wed 24 Sep 2014, 15:43, Reply)
are you coming to see the Christmas lights and go to Hamleys and Harrods and see the queen and go on the london eye
FUCK OFF YOU CHRIMBLECUNT
(, Wed 24 Sep 2014, 15:44, Reply)
No.
Christmas conference and party. Prolly South Kensington.
(, Wed 24 Sep 2014, 15:47, Reply)
I bet you're the only one who turns up

(, Wed 24 Sep 2014, 15:48, Reply)
nah mate
All staff from all sites.
(, Wed 24 Sep 2014, 15:50, Reply)
oh yeah, definately

(, Wed 24 Sep 2014, 15:51, Reply)
yea m8
Definitely.
(, Wed 24 Sep 2014, 15:59, Reply)
distressingly near me
can't you go somewhere appropriate for plebs like you, like streatham?
(, Wed 24 Sep 2014, 15:55, Reply)
Nowhere near you. You live in Hammersmith.

(, Wed 24 Sep 2014, 15:59, Reply)
speaking as someone who has never bothered coming to any of my half-flat bashes
yous can feck orf.

sken is a 20 min walk. that is far closer than i wish dozer to be.
(, Wed 24 Sep 2014, 16:00, Reply)
it's only 10 if you don't stop to stare in the window of every shoe and/or cake shop

(, Wed 24 Sep 2014, 16:01, Reply)
Cafe 338 in Bethnal Green
Giant greasy fryups for a fiver, just minutes from my door.

Of course, I'm supposed to be drinking Kale smoothies and eating egg-white omelettes or some such these days.
(, Wed 24 Sep 2014, 15:44, Reply)
Why bother?
You may as well try to enjoy your final months
(, Wed 24 Sep 2014, 15:47, Reply)
is LiC dying?

(, Wed 24 Sep 2014, 15:49, Reply)
Yes.

(, Wed 24 Sep 2014, 15:50, Reply)
Apparently somebody a year older than me,
but with exactly the same lifestyle, had congestive heart failure at the weekend.

So the clock is ticking.
(, Wed 24 Sep 2014, 15:55, Reply)
oh well, at least you don't have a family or girlfriend to leave behind

(, Wed 24 Sep 2014, 15:57, Reply)
I like to think of you as my family
or girlfriend
(, Wed 24 Sep 2014, 16:00, Reply)
ok, well kneel down and suck your girlfriend's cock then

(, Wed 24 Sep 2014, 16:01, Reply)
I've thought about this, and it's down to three 'favourites' if that's okay. In no particular order -
1. The kebab shop
2. The pub
3. The omelette cafe
(, Wed 24 Sep 2014, 15:47, Reply)
omelettes cafes are shit

(, Wed 24 Sep 2014, 15:48, Reply)
it doesn't just do omelettes, it's just what i call it okay m8 calm down eh

(, Wed 24 Sep 2014, 15:50, Reply)
I'm very upset

(, Wed 24 Sep 2014, 15:51, Reply)
so am i now and it's all your fault

(, Wed 24 Sep 2014, 15:51, Reply)
oh god it's contagious

(, Wed 24 Sep 2014, 15:52, Reply)
Ebawla

(, Wed 24 Sep 2014, 16:00, Reply)
Helo Bill
I recommend a walk of the old river fleet. It's underground now but anice walk if yo look it up.

Alt: I was at fabric about 4 years ago bu the music was a bit dull.

Altalt: Ibuprofne is my limit these days
(, Wed 24 Sep 2014, 15:49, Reply)
who ARE you?

(, Wed 24 Sep 2014, 15:49, Reply)
Your worst nightmare bebeh

(, Wed 24 Sep 2014, 15:50, Reply)
Poor, northern and moving in next door to him?

(, Wed 24 Sep 2014, 15:52, Reply)
Whatever floats his boat

(, Wed 24 Sep 2014, 15:53, Reply)
You're a giant flesh eating banana?

(, Wed 24 Sep 2014, 15:56, Reply)
officelol

(, Wed 24 Sep 2014, 15:57, Reply)
Ms McBeef innit

(, Wed 24 Sep 2014, 15:53, Reply)
Fuck off

(, Wed 24 Sep 2014, 15:54, Reply)
To quote the great oaf
"Back with another one of those COCK BLOCKIN' BEATS"
(, Wed 24 Sep 2014, 15:55, Reply)
Ha ha UH-OH!!

(, Wed 24 Sep 2014, 15:55, Reply)
Wapping. Or Greenwich.
Alt: There's always somewhere to drink.

Altalt: Yes. Say when.
(, Wed 24 Sep 2014, 15:51, Reply)
The exit.

(, Wed 24 Sep 2014, 15:54, Reply)
Hey!
I didn't know you could click on the candles!
(, Wed 24 Sep 2014, 15:58, Reply)
it says 20 february
it's not 20 february
(, Wed 24 Sep 2014, 15:59, Reply)
It fucking is too!
Munsta said so
(, Wed 24 Sep 2014, 16:01, Reply)
That's her told.
No wonder she's so happy when she manages to settle, that approach would be shit in front of a judge.
(, Wed 24 Sep 2014, 16:04, Reply)
Captain Placid like pretending to hate capital

(, Wed 24 Sep 2014, 15:58, Reply)
I just think it's a bit shit.
Not to mention, most londoners are completely wrapped up in themselves and can't acknowledge that other people exist.

Tosspots.
(, Wed 24 Sep 2014, 16:05, Reply)
"just because i don't care doesn't mean i don't understand"

(, Wed 24 Sep 2014, 16:14, Reply)
Not "can't", "won't".
"Can't" implies a lack of intent.
(, Wed 24 Sep 2014, 16:15, Reply)
Plus London is full of Northerners who try to put on a southern accent
and there are people from bongo bongo land all over the place. And it smells,
(, Wed 24 Sep 2014, 16:18, Reply)
Montys flat

(, Wed 24 Sep 2014, 15:56, Reply)
Hahahahaha.
I was going to put that. I even typed it. But it sounds incredibly gay.
(, Wed 24 Sep 2014, 15:58, Reply)
Apparently its ok to be gay today.

(, Wed 24 Sep 2014, 16:02, Reply)
Thanks for that Tom
www.youtube.com/watch?v=zHG2LJGfEdw
(, Wed 24 Sep 2014, 16:19, Reply)
can't beat those toothless gob jobs eh?

(, Wed 24 Sep 2014, 15:58, Reply)
That was the old flat,
Stop living in the past!
(, Wed 24 Sep 2014, 16:00, Reply)
Fook me! Hawkwind are playing in St Ives this weekend.

(, Wed 24 Sep 2014, 15:58, Reply)
Maybe
I only know one Hawkwind song, but it's good. Is Lemmy with them?
(, Wed 24 Sep 2014, 16:02, Reply)
Oh dear, the final nail in the coffin of your relationship with Monty

(, Wed 24 Sep 2014, 16:05, Reply)
Aww fuck
Another spunk flits through my fingers *epic sadface*
(, Wed 24 Sep 2014, 16:10, Reply)
Nah he's in his cage at home.

(, Wed 24 Sep 2014, 16:09, Reply)
i like st pauls
i like walking down the river from hammersmith to barnes, but stopping before you get run over by bugaboos and mummies pretending they used to have a career.

i like richmond, but avoid the park/kew gardens as they are often full of plebs and screaming kids, find places like the meadows/petersham nurseries instead.

i like the chelsea physic garden.

alt: couple of raves in warehouses

altalt: i have paracetamol or lemsip.
(, Wed 24 Sep 2014, 15:58, Reply)
you fackin love it South of the River you SLAAAGGGGGGGFG

(, Wed 24 Sep 2014, 16:01, Reply)
only one of those places is south of the river
i like walking along the NORTH BANK.
(, Wed 24 Sep 2014, 16:02, Reply)

alking addling
(, Wed 24 Sep 2014, 16:04, Reply)
could be worse
could be a wheelchair
(, Wed 24 Sep 2014, 16:14, Reply)
You'd need an electric one love.

(, Wed 24 Sep 2014, 16:22, Reply)
i'll stick to not needing one at all, ta

(, Wed 24 Sep 2014, 16:31, Reply)
Captain Placid says there's nothing good in a city 25 miles across, with 7 million inhabitants
and every form of entertainment you can think of. This is because he spent six months living under cardboard beneath the A4 overpass.

Who am I to argue with experience?
(, Wed 24 Sep 2014, 16:02, Reply)
He's spouting half baked shit
that he knows nothing about. Like some sort of WORLD EXPERT.
(, Wed 24 Sep 2014, 16:05, Reply)
I'm just glad I don't know anybody else
WHO KNOWS EVERYTHING ABOUT EVERYTHING EVER
(, Wed 24 Sep 2014, 16:05, Reply)
The most important thing in life is your POSTCODE!

(, Wed 24 Sep 2014, 16:07, Reply)
BEFORE I DECIDE IF YOU'RE WORTH KNOWING, WHICH SIDE OF AN ARBITRARY GEOGRAPHICAL FEATURE DO YOU LIVE ON?

(, Wed 24 Sep 2014, 16:08, Reply)
Obvs exceptions for MK1

(, Wed 24 Sep 2014, 16:09, Reply)
That's a sort of game reserve.

(, Wed 24 Sep 2014, 16:12, Reply)
The M40?

(, Wed 24 Sep 2014, 16:09, Reply)
I said "arbitrary geographical feature"
Not "widely recognised humanitarian barrier between civilised lands and the blasted wasteland inhabited by trolls and goblins".

Honestly, Meaters, you need to get your eyes checked.
(, Wed 24 Sep 2014, 16:11, Reply)
It's the long and winding road that leads from your gaff to my door

(, Wed 24 Sep 2014, 16:27, Reply)
Watford?

(, Wed 24 Sep 2014, 16:12, Reply)
AND WHETHER IT'S NORTH OF THE COUNTRY OR SOUTH

(, Wed 24 Sep 2014, 16:13, Reply)
+ WHEN WE ALL KNOW THAT THE MIDDLE IS BEST

(, Wed 24 Sep 2014, 16:14, Reply)
the one thing everyone can agree on
is that nobody wants the midlands
(, Wed 24 Sep 2014, 16:15, Reply)
Or the northwest. my ex-wife is from the northwest.

(, Wed 24 Sep 2014, 16:16, Reply)
sounds like Monty

(, Wed 24 Sep 2014, 16:40, Reply)
yer

(, Wed 24 Sep 2014, 16:41, Reply)
Seeing as we're doing LONDON CHAT
Any recommendations for pubs and food near Piccadilly and/or creative insults gratefully received.
Thanks in advance.
(, Wed 24 Sep 2014, 16:04, Reply)
Devonshire arms mate, plenty of whispy paedo beard action there.

(, Wed 24 Sep 2014, 16:05, Reply)
Is that the one where you met Darth and CQ?

(, Wed 24 Sep 2014, 16:07, Reply)
NTLCRU4LYFE M8

(, Wed 24 Sep 2014, 16:08, Reply)
The Shakespeare's Head ... 21 Albemarle St

(, Wed 24 Sep 2014, 16:06, Reply)
Google says either King's Head on Albemarle St or Shakespeare's Head somewhere entirely different
Which is it?
(, Wed 24 Sep 2014, 16:13, Reply)
Kings Head, soz.

(, Wed 24 Sep 2014, 16:15, Reply)
Looks like it's a 1 minute walk from where we'll be

(, Wed 24 Sep 2014, 16:21, Reply)
Nowhere within a three street radius
as it'll be absolutely fucking heaving with Yanks and Nips.
(, Wed 24 Sep 2014, 16:07, Reply)

The Only Running Footman, 5 Charles St.

Kings Arms, 2 Shepherd Market

Coach & Horses - Shepherd Neame, 5 Hill St
(, Wed 24 Sep 2014, 16:11, Reply)
Ta

(, Wed 24 Sep 2014, 16:14, Reply)
You would probably enjoy Tibits if it's still open

(, Wed 24 Sep 2014, 16:13, Reply)
shepherds market is a good call
lots of lovely pubs around there and not too many tourists because they don't know it exists
(, Wed 24 Sep 2014, 16:15, Reply)
Is that the roast dinner pub area?

(, Wed 24 Sep 2014, 16:19, Reply)
^ Spastic.

(, Wed 24 Sep 2014, 16:17, Reply)
Thanks Jeff, I knew I could rely on you when the rest of these pricks let me down

(, Wed 24 Sep 2014, 16:19, Reply)
No problem, happy to help.

(, Wed 24 Sep 2014, 16:21, Reply)
I love walking next to the Thames, Seeing the Palace and Parliament. Im a right tourist.
Then obvs getting shafted about the bins in Soho.
alt. Ive had some well mashup nights at Morning Glory on the queer scene in Manc.

alalt. Nope. They hatin'
(, Wed 24 Sep 2014, 16:09, Reply)
Imma go to Underground after the gig I think
I'm hitting the Imperial War Museum at after Peake Street, what are the best pubs near Waterloo? The Hole inthe Wall?
(, Wed 24 Sep 2014, 16:15, Reply)
It's tourist pricks like you treated that as a fucking attraction
that means I get held up on my way to Chiswick Park.
(, Wed 24 Sep 2014, 16:17, Reply)
Tourist pricks like me have to be a major income for that shitehole, shirley

(, Wed 24 Sep 2014, 16:19, Reply)
Tell you what, don't bother.
We'll find out. I'll be happy enough with that.
(, Wed 24 Sep 2014, 16:27, Reply)
No can do kimsabi
London needs me
(, Wed 24 Sep 2014, 16:28, Reply)
Says the Frenchman

(, Wed 24 Sep 2014, 16:28, Reply)
I'm from south of the river.

(, Wed 24 Sep 2014, 16:31, Reply)
+ Seine

(, Wed 24 Sep 2014, 16:33, Reply)
Thats why the French never bathe
They are inSeine
(, Wed 24 Sep 2014, 16:44, Reply)
I love the IWM haven't they just done it up?

(, Wed 24 Sep 2014, 16:17, Reply)
Ah fuckit, Underwolrd I mean
near The World's End. Are there any better clubs in Camden, apart from Koko?
(, Wed 24 Sep 2014, 16:18, Reply)
Hole in the Wall. Hahahahahahahahahahahaha.
It's like a fooking working mens club. Try walking down York Road and Waterloo Road and see what takes your fancy.
(, Wed 24 Sep 2014, 16:19, Reply)
Yer gaping anus teks ma fancy big boy, fucken brace yerself

(, Wed 24 Sep 2014, 16:21, Reply)
i like the bars down under the arches
again, nobody knows they are there: www.london-se1.co.uk/restaurants/info/530/jacks-bar
(, Wed 24 Sep 2014, 16:33, Reply)
There's a nice bit of the river,
Where if you're there early enough and stand in the right place, you can't see all the modern buildings and stupid wheel, but you can see tower Bridge and the old dock but or warehouses or whatever and without the people it's a lovely peaceful spot.

Alt: baraka. Psytrance place. Brilliant place.
(, Wed 24 Sep 2014, 16:20, Reply)
Seeing as we're talking London
Can anyone recommend any gardens that need vandalising?

Since the BBC moved up north pickings are slim.
(, Wed 24 Sep 2014, 16:20, Reply)
Woohoo!
lordsofthedrinks.com/2013/12/11/abstinent-people-more-likely-to-die-young-than-heavy-drinkers/
(, Wed 24 Sep 2014, 16:31, Reply)
Aw fucket man, this cunt wi the grey coupon is oan ma cunt fucken tits man
Fucken magnum cunt
(, Wed 24 Sep 2014, 16:39, Reply)
fuck off dozers

(, Wed 24 Sep 2014, 16:43, Reply)
Awman, I'm totes unfollowing you on twitter

(, Wed 24 Sep 2014, 16:46, Reply)
Not srsly babes, xxxx

(, Wed 24 Sep 2014, 16:47, Reply)
were you ever "Bill Clay"?

(, Wed 24 Sep 2014, 16:47, Reply)
I am, under my real name
Which is, of course, "Bill Clay"
(, Wed 24 Sep 2014, 16:48, Reply)
If indeed it is really.

(, Wed 24 Sep 2014, 16:49, Reply)
Fucken is.
I've even got the t-shirt
(, Wed 24 Sep 2014, 16:50, Reply)
How the fuck do you stop this men in black greyface cunt from popping up?
Freaken me out man
(, Wed 24 Sep 2014, 16:54, Reply)
Who and where?

(, Wed 24 Sep 2014, 16:56, Reply)
STOP LYING TO ME BILL CLAY

(, Wed 24 Sep 2014, 16:50, Reply)
Sozzers Jay-cloth
Imma fucken inigma innit
(, Wed 24 Sep 2014, 16:52, Reply)

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