Hey you guys!
I know we all loved chatting about socks yesterday so how about we talk about shoes? I just this minute bought some lovely brogues. I like the word brogues. I think I like the word more than the shoe.

Chicks are rubbish at buying shoes, eh? What's that all about?
(old man river possible lesbian, Wed 19 Nov 2014, 14:16, 171 replies, latest was 10 years ago)

no thanks

(Baggenfrock get fucked, Wed 19 Nov 2014, 14:22, Reply)

tasselled shoes ogtfo

(Mr Udagawa, Wed 19 Nov 2014, 14:26, Reply)

Who is your favourite? Matt or Luke?

(old man river possible lesbian, Wed 19 Nov 2014, 14:29, Reply)

Craig

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 19 Nov 2014, 14:30, Reply)

edgy

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 19 Nov 2014, 14:30, Reply)

OOOWAURGH!

(old man river possible lesbian, Wed 19 Nov 2014, 14:33, Reply)

IIIIIIIIIIIIII'm old man, yes I am!!!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 19 Nov 2014, 14:30, Reply)

I need some new boots

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 19 Nov 2014, 14:30, Reply)

with Grolsch tops on them, it appears.

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 19 Nov 2014, 14:32, Reply)

I made a fortune in school selling them
My Dad used to bring crates of Grolsch back from Holland when he worked there
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 19 Nov 2014, 15:30, Reply)

I went in to buy boots but they only went up to a 46 and I really need a 46 and a half
The brogues were a comfort purchase to make up for my disappointment.
(old man river possible lesbian, Wed 19 Nov 2014, 14:32, Reply)

You could've bought the 46s and kept them with your Converse

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 19 Nov 2014, 14:34, Reply)

😭
(old man river possible lesbian, Wed 19 Nov 2014, 14:37, Reply)

Hang on you seem to be talking in european
hang your head in shame
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 19 Nov 2014, 14:38, Reply)

it's the 21st century
and they're Italian shoes (made in China to an authentic Italian recipe)
(old man river possible lesbian, Wed 19 Nov 2014, 14:43, Reply)

Not good enough
What would Nigel say...
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 19 Nov 2014, 14:51, Reply)

he'd say he's happy so he must be happy he must be happy in his wooooooork!

(old man river possible lesbian, Wed 19 Nov 2014, 14:59, Reply)

Yeah so anyway there was a signal fault this morning at my local tube station and the mrs walked up there only to find out and then have to walk back again
by the time I came to leave this afternoon, the signal fault had been fixed but there were huge delays so I had to do the twenty minute walk all the way back again but I got stopped halfway back by some people looking for Acton Town station so I directed them but they were heavily foreign and actually wanted South Acton station so I had to direct them in a different direction and then I got home and got in my car and started driving but then I had to stop and top the coolant off so then I carried on but then the coolant light came on again ten minutes later so I stopped again and realised I hadn't put the expansion cap back on hahaha what a plum anyway I then got back on the road and there was a traffic jam because some cunt had gone into the back of some other cunt and then when I finally parked up I had a ten minute walk to the office.

So that's my day so far, how's yours?
( Kroney, Wed 19 Nov 2014, 14:30, Reply)

A lion ate my shoes

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 19 Nov 2014, 14:31, Reply)

Not really, what I meant to say was I'm really bored and still have to be at work for another two hours

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 19 Nov 2014, 14:32, Reply)

Have you tried masturbation?

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 19 Nov 2014, 14:38, Reply)

No, what's it like?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 19 Nov 2014, 14:42, Reply)

Bit like sneezing

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 19 Nov 2014, 14:45, Reply)

all over your face and tits

(old man river possible lesbian, Wed 19 Nov 2014, 14:45, Reply)

I went for a ride on my bicycle and should maybe have worn gloves
Then I went to work. Then I bought some shoes. Then I came back to work. Then I hit it with my bommyknocker then I ate some hunny the end.
(old man river possible lesbian, Wed 19 Nov 2014, 14:36, Reply)

Someone I know
recently bought a pair of Timberlands which he thought would make his life complete. Apparently though they are unexpectedly slippery causing him to fall over semi regularly. He told me this in explanation after falling over attempting to turn a corner. They cost over £100.
(Oooh_cuntroversial Where have I been?, Wed 19 Nov 2014, 14:42, Reply)

I don't understand this anecdote

(old man river possible lesbian, Wed 19 Nov 2014, 14:43, Reply)

You suggested we
talk about shoes. This is all I've got.
(Oooh_cuntroversial Where have I been?, Wed 19 Nov 2014, 14:48, Reply)

fair point

(old man river possible lesbian, Wed 19 Nov 2014, 14:54, Reply)

I have 6 pairs of Timberlands, and haven't fallen over.
An equally interesting anecdote I'm sure you'll agree.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 19 Nov 2014, 14:50, Reply)

You had
to be there.
(Oooh_cuntroversial Where have I been?, Wed 19 Nov 2014, 14:52, Reply)

It's okay I've seen an episode of you've been framed so I can imagine the hilarity

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 19 Nov 2014, 14:54, Reply)

It ensued.

(Oooh_cuntroversial Where have I been?, Wed 19 Nov 2014, 14:55, Reply)

en-shoed

(old man river possible lesbian, Wed 19 Nov 2014, 14:58, Reply)

Do type I diabetics get to wear normal shoes? I would have thought you needed specially adapted Crocs or something.
PS. You have small feet for a tall man.
( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Wed 19 Nov 2014, 14:46, Reply)

since when has size twelve been small?
you boat-footed freak
(old man river possible lesbian, Wed 19 Nov 2014, 14:50, Reply)

it's small if it's in kids' sizes
smallfoot
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 19 Nov 2014, 15:11, Reply)

except I said size 46 and a half
I realise counting and reading aren't your strong suits
(old man river possible lesbian, Wed 19 Nov 2014, 15:32, Reply)

you think i bothered to read up that far?
it's duller than chemistry lessons
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 19 Nov 2014, 15:35, Reply)

👞👞👞👍👍👍
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 19 Nov 2014, 14:46, Reply)

I have just pledged money to Lunar mission one
cos I think its cool, would any of you like to touch me now?
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 19 Nov 2014, 14:51, Reply)

I've shaken a hand that's shaken the hand of Buzz Aldrin

(old man river possible lesbian, Wed 19 Nov 2014, 14:52, Reply)

Looks like America have their very own Saville!
zip-zop-bapadoobly
www.independent.co.uk/news/people/bill-cosby-supermodel-janice-dickinson-claims-tv-star-raped-me-too-9869380.html
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 19 Nov 2014, 15:00, Reply)

Yeah, that's not about shoes mate
You're just thick as pigshit.

Lots of love

Baggenfock x
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 19 Nov 2014, 15:03, Reply)

according to home office statistics nearly 100% of celebrity rapists have previously worn shoes

(old man river possible lesbian, Wed 19 Nov 2014, 15:04, Reply)

UH-OH!!!!
I forgot how topics have to be inherently stuck to!
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 19 Nov 2014, 15:06, Reply)

yeah! you stick it to the man!
don't play by the rules! smash the system! completely misuse the word "inherently"!
(old man river possible lesbian, Wed 19 Nov 2014, 15:08, Reply)

you are inherently abhorrent

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 19 Nov 2014, 15:11, Reply)

I really am.

(old man river possible lesbian, Wed 19 Nov 2014, 15:27, Reply)

If everyone went down your road of absolute anarchy and rule breaking we'd have to rename this place *OFF* Topic lol
Wait....
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 19 Nov 2014, 15:08, Reply)

Baggyfrock has some sort of weird issue with me.
Strange, considering I have no idea who she is.
Nice to be noticed though
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 19 Nov 2014, 15:10, Reply)

he could be an anti homosexualist mate

(Mr Udagawa, Wed 19 Nov 2014, 15:12, Reply)

You and her could be besties!

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 19 Nov 2014, 15:14, Reply)

i actually like you jay

(Mr Udagawa, Wed 19 Nov 2014, 15:15, Reply)

lol jk

(Mr Udagawa, Wed 19 Nov 2014, 15:15, Reply)

for a second there I almost cared!

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 19 Nov 2014, 15:17, Reply)

battered gazzed me that he hated you. That's right hates you.
I don't really know why he thought to share this with me like.
(Mr Udagawa, Wed 19 Nov 2014, 15:19, Reply)

He really wanted to be your friend
Perhaps he was trying to find some common ground?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 19 Nov 2014, 15:23, Reply)

it seems i've had a lucky escape from an evening of stringy pheasant, idle boasting coupled with drunken rambling, with a window smashing session round ruths for afters
*phew*
(Mr Udagawa, Wed 19 Nov 2014, 15:27, Reply)

I still haven't worked out who you are.
I'm embarrassingly bad at this sort of thing.
( Kroney, Wed 19 Nov 2014, 15:31, Reply)

My names Robert, and this is my viral marketing account.

(Mr Udagawa, Wed 19 Nov 2014, 15:32, Reply)

best of luck with your new endeavour
you are certainly breaking new ground with "comedy" quizzes and cartoon illustrations
(old man river possible lesbian, Wed 19 Nov 2014, 15:44, Reply)

he is popular forum usvsthem
Robs new project
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 19 Nov 2014, 15:35, Reply)

I wouldn't worry about it Jay.
Baggsy is just one the of many know-it-all bores.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 19 Nov 2014, 15:13, Reply)

The cool ones like me, and that's what matters

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 19 Nov 2014, 15:14, Reply)

My favourite is when he tries to correct people's spelling
to an Americanism
( Kroney, Wed 19 Nov 2014, 15:16, Reply)

What's your fucking problem mate?

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 19 Nov 2014, 15:16, Reply)

Why don't you just ignore me, you cretin?
(pronounced CREE-ten)
( Kroney, Wed 19 Nov 2014, 15:17, Reply)

meaty

( $$ ✅, Wed 19 Nov 2014, 15:25, Reply)

CheerSS

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 19 Nov 2014, 15:36, Reply)

I'm hungry and I don't have any change and the mrs is ignoring my requests for her to go buy me a little summin summin

( Kroney, Wed 19 Nov 2014, 15:11, Reply)

You want to get rid mate, she sounds like a right bitch.

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 19 Nov 2014, 15:11, Reply)

I fucking know, right?

( Kroney, Wed 19 Nov 2014, 15:15, Reply)

I gave my shoes to a homeless person.

( Peej, Wed 19 Nov 2014, 15:13, Reply)

Hot Gossip lesser known b sidezzzzzzzz

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 19 Nov 2014, 15:15, Reply)

I lost my heart to a starship trooper
True story..


Edit massively late mind piss
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 19 Nov 2014, 15:21, Reply)

Hot gossipszzzzzzzz
Edit MARRRRRR
( Peej, Wed 19 Nov 2014, 15:23, Reply)

did he give you his piss filled ones in return so you could get into a mediocre nightclub in London?

( $$ ✅, Wed 19 Nov 2014, 15:26, Reply)

that phrase has a similar cadence to a popular song of the disco era

(old man river possible lesbian, Wed 19 Nov 2014, 15:30, Reply)

you appear to be as late as a certain stroke-suffering news presenter

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 19 Nov 2014, 15:35, Reply)

there's never any tights/stockings chat in this place
personally i like wolford or fogal as they retain their shape better after being washed. you?

i'm very good at buying shoes. i have lots of different pairs of shoes. i was not allowed to buy a pair of patent brogues in new york because apparently "brogues are for cunts".
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 19 Nov 2014, 15:36, Reply)

Just tack it onto the sock threads.
No cankle pictures though, we don't want to attract any more pervs.
( Muns, Wed 19 Nov 2014, 15:38, Reply)

there's at least one pervert here with a pair of tights for stranglewanking

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 19 Nov 2014, 15:39, Reply)

\o

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 19 Nov 2014, 15:40, Reply)

claimant rests, m'lud

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 19 Nov 2014, 15:40, Reply)

I didn't say I stranglewanked MYSELF, did I?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 19 Nov 2014, 15:44, Reply)

I always pictured you as more of a leather strap type.

( Muns, Wed 19 Nov 2014, 15:41, Reply)

CANNABLISM

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 19 Nov 2014, 15:43, Reply)

Why not post those *lovely* trainers what you bought Rachums?

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 19 Nov 2014, 15:39, Reply)

THEY WERE BECAUSE YOU SAID THE SHINY BROGUES WERE FOR CUNTS

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 19 Nov 2014, 15:40, Reply)

The trainers are much better

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 19 Nov 2014, 15:41, Reply)

Gayer, I meant gayer

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 19 Nov 2014, 15:42, Reply)

you're just in denierl

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 19 Nov 2014, 15:39, Reply)

LTI

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 19 Nov 2014, 15:39, Reply)

this raised an office smirk
not a lol. but a smirk.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 19 Nov 2014, 15:40, Reply)

NER SMIRKING IN T'OFFICE

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 19 Nov 2014, 15:42, Reply)

oh good grief

(old man river possible lesbian, Wed 19 Nov 2014, 15:42, Reply)

To be fair its no worse than this
jelly.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post2416326
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 19 Nov 2014, 15:46, Reply)

how dare you! that's comedy platinum

(old man river possible lesbian, Wed 19 Nov 2014, 16:12, Reply)

I have worn both tights and stockings
stockings are better
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 19 Nov 2014, 15:41, Reply)

^1980s bank robber^

(old man river possible lesbian, Wed 19 Nov 2014, 15:43, Reply)

Thats his Daddy

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 19 Nov 2014, 15:43, Reply)

The one who made him wear the stockings....

( Muns, Wed 19 Nov 2014, 15:48, Reply)

If only

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 19 Nov 2014, 15:45, Reply)

If you feel like posting pictures of yourself in stockings maybe with a corresponding suspender belt
Please don't
( Peej, Wed 19 Nov 2014, 15:51, Reply)

www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1999238
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 19 Nov 2014, 15:56, Reply)

I'm not YM

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 19 Nov 2014, 16:08, Reply)

I Left My Shoes In El Segundo

( Peej, Wed 19 Nov 2014, 16:01, Reply)

So how can you kick it?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 19 Nov 2014, 16:07, Reply)