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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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what do you put on top of your chrimbo tree?
An angel? A fairy? A star? A fucking twig and straw reindeer like some kraut tried to sell me at the weekend?
(, Tue 25 Nov 2014, 15:56, 121 replies, latest was 10 years ago)
An angel the doris made when she was about eight.

(, Tue 25 Nov 2014, 15:57, Reply)
This is a splendid answer.

(, Tue 25 Nov 2014, 15:57, Reply)
Although it would be slightly less twee if it were her parents who kept it to use every year.

(, Tue 25 Nov 2014, 15:58, Reply)
My eldest has made a dalek to put on top of the tree this year.

(, Tue 25 Nov 2014, 15:57, Reply)
I hope you gave him a slap and crushed the dalek to teach him a lesson

(, Tue 25 Nov 2014, 17:29, Reply)
A star

(, Tue 25 Nov 2014, 16:00, Reply)
yeah yeah already one fairy haha
pricks.
(, Tue 25 Nov 2014, 16:01, Reply)
Well no, Jase, you're way too fat to stay up there.
It'd snap.
(, Tue 25 Nov 2014, 16:04, Reply)
As his last partner said

(, Tue 25 Nov 2014, 16:04, Reply)
*uncharitable office snigger*

(, Tue 25 Nov 2014, 16:05, Reply)
We've got one of those.
He empties the bins.
(, Tue 25 Nov 2014, 16:07, Reply)
nah, he had a huge cock. Nee bother

(, Tue 25 Nov 2014, 16:13, Reply)
a large chicken does not maketh the man
in fact it is somewhat fowl
(, Tue 25 Nov 2014, 16:58, Reply)
Takes all the fun out of it if you bully yourself.

(, Tue 25 Nov 2014, 16:04, Reply)
Who the fuck are you?

(, Tue 25 Nov 2014, 16:13, Reply)
That's twangers
He won't reply now, it's taken him all day to pluck up the courage to post that.
(, Tue 25 Nov 2014, 16:17, Reply)
you're not a fairy, you're an angel
A fallen angel who is abhorrent in the eyes of The Lord and will burn in eternal hellfire for his dastardly sins
(, Tue 25 Nov 2014, 16:08, Reply)
All my mates will be there an what?

(, Tue 25 Nov 2014, 16:10, Reply)
fair point
no cunt is going to have fun in heaven ... it'll be full of Jehovah's Witnesses and pious Jews
(, Tue 25 Nov 2014, 16:11, Reply)
No, silly.
The catholics will be the only ones in heaven.
(, Tue 25 Nov 2014, 16:13, Reply)
hahahahayeah
no
(, Tue 25 Nov 2014, 16:14, Reply)
why would they let cat addicts in?

(, Tue 25 Nov 2014, 16:14, Reply)
This was so incredibly awful that I actually chuckled.

(, Tue 25 Nov 2014, 16:16, Reply)
a Jew

(, Tue 25 Nov 2014, 16:05, Reply)
We don't have anything on on top of our tree as it's the cheapest one Asda sells
and can't take the weight.
(, Tue 25 Nov 2014, 16:06, Reply)
this is funny because it's true

(, Tue 25 Nov 2014, 16:07, Reply)
only it's from Netto

(, Tue 25 Nov 2014, 16:08, Reply)
in the reject bin

(, Tue 25 Nov 2014, 16:09, Reply)
but enough about baggenfock's wife

(, Tue 25 Nov 2014, 16:11, Reply)
Raggy dolls, raggy dolls. Dolls like you and me.
Hang on, did that cartoon call us all cunts?
(, Tue 25 Nov 2014, 16:11, Reply)

relay.cr3ation.co.uk/questions/offtopic/post2419864
(, Tue 25 Nov 2014, 16:12, Reply)
Yeah, top Christmas spirit guys.
Cheers.
(, Tue 25 Nov 2014, 16:12, Reply)
your top Christmas spirit is meths

(, Tue 25 Nov 2014, 16:13, Reply)
Best of all the South African school subjects

(, Tue 25 Nov 2014, 16:16, Reply)
they only do division and subtraction though

(, Tue 25 Nov 2014, 16:18, Reply)
excellent topical 1980s political humour here

(, Tue 25 Nov 2014, 16:21, Reply)
*fights power*

(, Tue 25 Nov 2014, 16:40, Reply)
A shitty old 5 pointed star
that the missus has used since she was a nipper, its quite good though as you can fit one of the clear Christmas lights inside so it glows
(, Tue 25 Nov 2014, 16:07, Reply)
Pricks.
I followed that for miles.
(, Tue 25 Nov 2014, 16:08, Reply)
you'd follow pricks anywhere

(, Tue 25 Nov 2014, 16:09, Reply)
Like a bisto kid

(, Tue 25 Nov 2014, 16:10, Reply)
I'll admit it's not all glamorous being one of the magi

(, Tue 25 Nov 2014, 16:11, Reply)

ma fun

I have no idea what this means.
(, Tue 25 Nov 2014, 16:20, Reply)
Something something something...
... because there isn't mushroom!!!!!!
(, Tue 25 Nov 2014, 16:24, Reply)
chortle chortle what a jolly hoot

(, Tue 25 Nov 2014, 16:26, Reply)
Just a star.
Putting up the tree is the only concession I make to xmas decorating, and every year, it seems like more of a waste of everyone's time.

Bah humbug.
(, Tue 25 Nov 2014, 16:10, Reply)
poor old grumbleflobskin

(, Tue 25 Nov 2014, 16:13, Reply)
Have you considered an alternative faith?

(, Tue 25 Nov 2014, 16:24, Reply)
a leth thtupid one?

(, Tue 25 Nov 2014, 16:25, Reply)
Oi!
Cheeky cunt!
(, Tue 25 Nov 2014, 16:26, Reply)
Haha Bob Monkhouse, ladies and gentlemen!

(, Tue 25 Nov 2014, 16:36, Reply)
Whatever my fucking wife finds in the fucking shop, brings home and puts there, thinking it looked lovely in store but looks a bit tacky on the tree, but she can't take it back now because she threw the receipt away.
Fucking Christmas.
(, Tue 25 Nov 2014, 16:24, Reply)
I'm deffo popping around to yours for a sherry this year
it sounds idyllic
(, Tue 25 Nov 2014, 16:25, Reply)
Christmas is fine.
It's the few days before that are a fucking nightmare. She has to make sure absolutely everything is, in her eyes, perfect.

I reason that everyone but her will be too pissed to care, and our son will be too focused on the toys he'll receive.

Changes nothing.
(, Tue 25 Nov 2014, 16:27, Reply)
We should put b3th and Munsta in a house party and see who sucks the joy out of the air fastest.

(, Tue 25 Nov 2014, 16:28, Reply)
I'd take that as a challenge.

(, Tue 25 Nov 2014, 16:31, Reply)
Fucking pair of fundementors.

(, Tue 25 Nov 2014, 16:35, Reply)
Cheers!
"
(, Tue 25 Nov 2014, 16:40, Reply)
Oh for Christ's sake.

(, Tue 25 Nov 2014, 16:44, Reply)
Can I play too?

(, Tue 25 Nov 2014, 17:32, Reply)
My winky

(, Tue 25 Nov 2014, 16:26, Reply)
I like winkies

(, Tue 25 Nov 2014, 16:26, Reply)
best of all the genitals

(, Tue 25 Nov 2014, 16:31, Reply)
with a little Santa hat on the end?

(, Tue 25 Nov 2014, 16:27, Reply)
Good call

(, Tue 25 Nov 2014, 16:32, Reply)
A swastika.

(, Tue 25 Nov 2014, 16:30, Reply)
edgy

(, Tue 25 Nov 2014, 16:31, Reply)
It's an ancient symbol of good luck.
Not that it worked for old Adolf, eh?
(, Tue 25 Nov 2014, 16:32, Reply)
But he's still going strong, riding his dinosaur.
www.youtube.com/watch?annotation_id=annotation_3223365845&feature=iv&list=UUVWM3HFqgT1lWD0ertDQApA&src_vid=aas9sjcxMgM&v=P8S-jJiYafk
:D
(, Tue 25 Nov 2014, 16:33, Reply)
\o/
Not caught up for a while, how was Bloodstock?
(, Tue 25 Nov 2014, 16:36, Reply)
Oh it was fucking ace. You should have gone.
Evil Scarecrow had pretty much EVERYONE out to watch them. At 11 in the MORNING.
:D
(, Tue 25 Nov 2014, 16:38, Reply)
I was there.
But stuck working backstage all weekend. Managed about six hours sleep between Thursday morning and Monday morning.
(, Tue 25 Nov 2014, 16:41, Reply)
obv is obv
or an
(, Tue 25 Nov 2014, 16:45, Reply)
What can I say?
Goth girls. Dirty and damaged ftw.
(, Tue 25 Nov 2014, 16:46, Reply)
and covered in crusty semen

(, Tue 25 Nov 2014, 16:50, Reply)
I think they just look that way because they never wash their dreadlocks.

(, Tue 25 Nov 2014, 16:53, Reply)
I got it off of czech ebay.
They didn't jew me on the price either.
(, Tue 25 Nov 2014, 16:33, Reply)
You should get one of those weak, withered looking trees from a pound shop.
Put a star of David on top, and put it in the oven to compliment your third-Reich Christmas tree.
(, Tue 25 Nov 2014, 16:35, Reply)
Nah I just burn the nazi one to the ground on the 12th day and chuck a red star on the remains.

(, Tue 25 Nov 2014, 16:39, Reply)
Last year it was Donkey Kong swatting at biplanes hanging from tinsel
I'm not sure what this year's theme is gonna be
(, Tue 25 Nov 2014, 16:45, Reply)
Tie all the tinsel at the top like a cunt-sprout.

(, Tue 25 Nov 2014, 16:47, Reply)
Lesbians

(, Tue 25 Nov 2014, 16:50, Reply)
oo oo! I've got an idea for a great theme!
Christmas
(, Tue 25 Nov 2014, 17:18, Reply)
Tinsel is common and for pikeys.
/ac
(, Tue 25 Nov 2014, 17:29, Reply)
Christmas without tinsel is like Christmas without foie gras and oysters

(, Tue 25 Nov 2014, 17:37, Reply)
Auto agree
decorations of the traditional sort are far superior
(, Tue 25 Nov 2014, 17:39, Reply)
yeah ... you just pop some holly and ivy around the ceiling beams and give one another peg dolls and an exotic satsuma

(, Tue 25 Nov 2014, 17:41, Reply)
Pretty much this^
ice bit of holly and Ivy formed into a garland down the staircase, lovely stuff
(, Tue 25 Nov 2014, 17:43, Reply)
christ
do you give the pony some extra oats before riding the trap up to the church for evensong?
(, Tue 25 Nov 2014, 17:43, Reply)
I don't do church because religion is shit and for cunts
but the others do
(, Tue 25 Nov 2014, 17:48, Reply)
well do say hello to the dashwoods when you see them
and try not to die of pleurisy or cholera
(, Tue 25 Nov 2014, 17:52, Reply)
an anvil
Th-th-th-that's all folks!
(, Tue 25 Nov 2014, 16:45, Reply)
With a pile of "bird food" at the bottom

(, Tue 25 Nov 2014, 16:51, Reply)
wonder if you can get an ACME tree

(, Tue 25 Nov 2014, 16:52, Reply)
You just paint one on the wall
then when it comes to decorating it watch as they kids keep dropping the tinsel
(, Tue 25 Nov 2014, 16:57, Reply)
Lol

(, Tue 25 Nov 2014, 17:50, Reply)
i don't have a christmas tree
i go away for christmas, and lie on the beach, like a civilised hooman. so i guess you could say some factor 30 (stupid irish ancestors).
(, Tue 25 Nov 2014, 17:21, Reply)
hush now, hyacinth
if you're too miserable for chrimbo trees you'll have to wait for a new thread
(, Tue 25 Nov 2014, 17:36, Reply)
ooh la belmmmmm

(, Tue 25 Nov 2014, 17:36, Reply)
A felt wee wee tapir being ridden by a LARP lordling

(, Tue 25 Nov 2014, 17:31, Reply)
but enough about your wallpaper

(, Tue 25 Nov 2014, 17:32, Reply)
bit unimaginative

(, Tue 25 Nov 2014, 17:36, Reply)
a chrimblebobs haggis xx

(, Tue 25 Nov 2014, 17:56, Reply)
savages

(, Tue 25 Nov 2014, 17:59, Reply)
no, they are busy rehearsing and writing for their next record

(, Tue 25 Nov 2014, 18:01, Reply)
Christmas pricks

(, Tue 25 Nov 2014, 18:06, Reply)
more holly?

(, Tue 25 Nov 2014, 18:14, Reply)

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