GOOD MORNING GOOD MORNIG I SLEPT THE WHOLE NIGHT THROUGH GOOD MORNING GOOD MORNING TO YOU
AND YOU AND YOU AND YOU!!!!
HIYA!!!!

How did you sleep?

Alt: Ever been in court? Friend of mine was forced to go there yesterday cause he got burgled but the crim didn't bother showing cause he was already in chokey and the court of european humans rights was installing his new widescreen tv that day or something.

Altalt: Best soup
(Xav loves PhillieJoe, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 9:32, 184 replies, latest was 10 years ago)

I think that parents, if they're divorcing and have kids, should use the kids as pawns in court, to emotionally lever the other party.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 9:42, Reply)

I constantly ask my kids who they love the most so I can throw it in her face when she eventually leaves me.

( Peej, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 9:49, Reply)

Good idea. Probably best to highlight her failings as well, as it will make you look better.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 9:50, Reply)

Hey kids, notice how mummy always yells at you for the same 5 days each month
Daddy loves you and would never do that. Here have some sweets, don't tell mummy, she's mean and won't let you.
( Peej, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 9:53, Reply)

"It can be our special little secret."

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 9:54, Reply)

#prayforsporters

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 9:54, Reply)

oh no

(Xav loves PhillieJoe, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 9:56, Reply)

^ this

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 9:59, Reply)

blessed is the separated dad who has groomed his step daughter for the past fourteen years. Hartley hare missed a trick there

(Mr Udagawa, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 10:00, Reply)

Is this for real? Not seen/heard from him in ages.

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Thu 4 Dec 2014, 10:06, Reply)

no
he's got a lot going on, is all. ignore the rory hatewank fantasies, unless you think they sound more fun, of course.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 10:11, Reply)

Of course not.
Sporters is a top man.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Thu 4 Dec 2014, 10:14, Reply)

Hey this is my hatewank fantasy

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 10:15, Reply)

www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post2425696
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 10:22, Reply)

It's all true and you know it.

(Mr Udagawa, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 10:24, Reply)

yeah but the Rev replied to me not him so nerrrrr

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 10:26, Reply)

alright alright, i know it means a lot when people bother to talk to IT

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 10:32, Reply)

*sobs*

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 10:44, Reply)

Nah I am just being a dick
I would expect him to do the same
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 10:15, Reply)

I hear that Bonzo lives in a tin shed in the middle of the Lake District and shags sheep for LOLs.

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Thu 4 Dec 2014, 10:22, Reply)

tin shed mildew house riddled with damp and wet rot due to a lack of cavity walls
(Mr Udagawa, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 10:24, Reply)

^ lives in a 1960s pebble dashed council house

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 10:27, Reply)

1960s pebble dashed council three storey Victorian redbrick
(Mr Udagawa, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 10:30, Reply)

+ sandwiched between chicken cottage and mama africa
with a beautiful view over the north circular
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 10:32, Reply)

the north circular ally pally and central London

how are the kitchen window voyeurs treacle?
(Mr Udagawa, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 10:36, Reply)

that view must sustain you for the hour commute to get anywhere decent
they seem fine. last spotted checking zoopla and high fiving that they bought here and not on the north circular, i think.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 10:39, Reply)

I tend to get a surveyor to write a report every twelve months as to what my asset value is, not guestimating like a pleb using rightmove ;)

(Mr Udagawa, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 10:47, Reply)

Well, get him to advise you on a decent area
That'd be a start
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 10:57, Reply)

That's not what surveyors do treacle *ruffles hair* you stick to the admining.

(Mr Udagawa, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 11:05, Reply)

At least I've got hair...

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 11:13, Reply)

^stop projecting sweetie, I don't come from a family of baldies like you.

(Mr Udagawa, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 11:14, Reply)

Whatever slaps

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 11:15, Reply)

For a view of both of those, you'd need to live on either Muswell Hill or Highgate Hill
From memory.
( Kroney, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 10:42, Reply)

It's good innit.

(Mr Udagawa, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 10:47, Reply)

I'd have bought in Musser in a heartbeat, had I been able to afford it.
On one of the crescents off Fortis Green road, for preference.
( Kroney, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 10:48, Reply)

Anywhere round there is fine as it's close to finchley toobe. I prefer the royal avenues and down behind ally pally

(Mr Udagawa, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 10:52, Reply)

Pain in the arse getting anywhere from the Broadway area, unless you like busses.
I do not.
( Kroney, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 10:56, Reply)

Finchley?? Hahaha this just gets better

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 10:58, Reply)

Yes, the relative values of east finchley, highgate, crouch end are generally commensurate. Anything else you want to appear stupid about?

(Mr Udagawa, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 11:03, Reply)

Dunno
Why don't you make up another fictitious adviser for your one sad little house and then we'll see?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 11:08, Reply)

Stop projecting sweetie, I haven't made anything up.

(Mr Udagawa, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 11:14, Reply)

Nope, your stories sound wholly plausible

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 11:15, Reply)

Man runs business, doesn't sit on a tube of stinky farts every day. Yarp, now that you mention it, it does sound too fantastical to be true.

(Mr Udagawa, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 11:17, Reply)

Not for LOLs at all
Sheep shagging is a serious business.


Its the pigs I do for Lols
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 10:27, Reply)

Slept like a baby - woke up crying at 3 a:m because I was hungry and I'd shit myself - aithangyew
Actually slept really well, new memory foam pillow was a good idea.

Alt: I was a prosecution witness in a fraud/director's disqualification case a few years back. That was fun.

Altalt; Oxtail, natch
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 9:46, Reply)

I slept rubbish.
I had a dream that what I thought was reality was actually an illusion caused by subliminal messages that had been put into all the filth I've watched, which had hypnotised me.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 9:52, Reply)

Really?
If the doorbell rings, don't answer it. The thought police are on their way - RUUUUNNN
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 9:55, Reply)

Straight up - it was horrible. Woke up this morning well confused.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 9:59, Reply)

I think.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 9:59, Reply)

Maybe you're asleep right now

(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 10:00, Reply)

Aw crap. Another dream I had (we're all sharing here, right?) was that I went to the bank to get a balance.
It was about what I thought it was.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 10:03, Reply)

Pretty well thanks
Alt. Loads of times but I was doing Criminology at college so I was always a spectator. Some terrible terrible crimes happen in Cornwall I can tell you. I'll never forget the case of the man who knocked a cyclist of his bike and drove off. DROVE OFF! The cyclist was so messed up the judge awarded him £120. If that doesn't prove the severity of the crime I don't know what will.

AltAlt. Its probably not the best but I am very partial to a good Broccoli and Stilton Soup. A good quality Tomato soup always goes down a treat too.
( Peej, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 9:52, Reply)

I slept by going to bed and closing my eyes.

(old man river possible lesbian, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 9:52, Reply)

Fine thanks, woke up reasonable excited about my mini break! Ha ha not really, I'm not that bothered.
Alt: No, I have not.
Altalt: Either pea and ham or 'Electric Soup' by acid jazz pioneers Corduroy, NOT the comic
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 9:56, Reply)

Are you going somewhere nice or slobbing at home?

(Xav loves PhillieJoe, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 9:58, Reply)

Fucking Benidorm :( but it's free so, yeah. There's that.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 9:59, Reply)

Man, that's classy. I'm really jealous.

( Kroney, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 10:00, Reply)

meh, it's a couple of beers in marginally warmer surroundings, thankfully not in peak season so should avoid the #truladz.
we're in 'the old town' which is supposed to be a bit nicer but that remains to be seen
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 10:02, Reply)

Sure, enjoy your foam party and 5am beach vomits, Meato

( Kroney, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 10:06, Reply)

Excellent stuff! I want to go

(Xav loves PhillieJoe, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 10:07, Reply)

Come along!!!!

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 10:10, Reply)

YAY!
*searches for beer hat*
(Xav loves PhillieJoe, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 10:17, Reply)

No foam parties in winter, showing a bit of ignorance about popular British holiday destinations there mate

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 10:08, Reply)

I'm sorry, I've never been on an 18-30s holiday, let alone a Christmas one.
I feel like I've missed out.
( Kroney, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 10:08, Reply)

Neither have I until now, that's why I'm so excited

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 10:09, Reply)

Yeah sure.
In OPPOSITE LAND
( Kroney, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 10:10, Reply)

I'd fucking love to go there instead

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 10:10, Reply)

Haha that means you don't want to
GUTTED
( Kroney, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 10:12, Reply)

I'm not going to try and work this out so yes I am gutted

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 10:13, Reply)

IN OPPOSITE LAND!!!

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 10:13, Reply)

WOOOOOOO

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 10:17, Reply)

old town is v pretty, but it's totally surrounded by shit
like a pearl in a turd
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 10:14, Reply)

I'll bring you one back

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 10:15, Reply)

I have never been in court for any reason. The ghost of my grandfather's disapproval would haunt me to my very grave if I ever appeared in the dock.
More scared of that than prison, to be honest.
( Kroney, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 9:56, Reply)

Did your Grandfather show his disapproval with shower room rapings?

( Peej, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 10:06, Reply)

No, but he did shank many a snitch with a sharpened toothbrush

( Kroney, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 10:07, Reply)

Im going to Paris on the 15th
Pro - It will be lovely and Christmassy
Con - Disneyland
( Peej, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 10:06, Reply)

i slept badly, as you always do when you've been drowsing in the afternoon
alt: yes, regularly, first as a letting agent, then as a litigator.

alt: a really chunky minestrone, drizzled with pesto. failing that, a nice spicy mulligatawny.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 10:13, Reply)

SHITigator more like!!!
letting GAYgent more like!!!
litiGAYtor more like!!
JIZZled more like!!!
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 10:16, Reply)

I'm glad you're here.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 4 Dec 2014, 10:20, Reply)

so am i, otherwise he'd be here

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 10:21, Reply)

lol
i am a bit annoying
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 10:22, Reply)

I'm not

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 10:23, Reply)

I didnt know you could get veggie mulligatawny

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 10:18, Reply)

oh yes
thewanderlustkitchen.com/indian-mulligatawny-soup/
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 10:19, Reply)

I think I've got a cream for that
/ac
(Xav loves PhillieJoe, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 10:19, Reply)

The hairy bikers one is good and doesn't necessitate meat.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 10:28, Reply)

you can get veggie anything if you hate yourself enough

(old man river possible lesbian, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 10:32, Reply)

you should hate yourself a lot
it's weird that you seem quite happy being like this
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 10:35, Reply)

are you going to be sniping like an angry puppy again today, thicko? cos lolignore is only a button away

(old man river possible lesbian, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 10:39, Reply)

says the dude who uses it like a little pussy.... and then replies to the people he has put on lolignore....

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 10:41, Reply)

lolignore doesn't work, petal
I still see everything and can reply to everything

It just makes it mildly annoying for the puppy dogs to reply and reduces the amount if whining and nipping ... it's like putting you in a cardboard box until you stop pissing on the floor
(old man river possible lesbian, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 10:44, Reply)

Hahaha you really are an utter weirdo

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 10:59, Reply)

yerr ... so weird that my colleagues trust me to get to a meeting without holding my hand on the bus like a fucking primary school child

(old man river possible lesbian, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 11:06, Reply)

Sigh
Do you take every flippant comment in real life seriously and ONLY one way too? No wonder your friends resort to anal rape rather than conversation
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 11:12, Reply)

The Elvis porn remake that was banned......

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 11:15, Reply)

CLAM CHOWDER

(Baggenfrock get fucked, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 10:17, Reply)

I've never had that. Or Gumbo

(Xav loves PhillieJoe, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 10:19, Reply)

fuck off with YM's reheated discharge

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 10:19, Reply)

Now I'm hungry.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 10:21, Reply)

I think you should complain to the chowder shop.
They've ripped you off.
(Baggenfrock get fucked, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 10:26, Reply)

Is chowder soup?
I'm never sure where the definition splits. Or is it a cultural name thing.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 4 Dec 2014, 10:21, Reply)

yes

(Baggenfrock get fucked, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 10:25, Reply)

Is this the answer to whether it's a soup or a cultural name thing?
You're not being very clear and I might get angry.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 4 Dec 2014, 10:27, Reply)

There was only one correctly formatted question.

(Baggenfrock get fucked, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 10:30, Reply)

Your mum's a soup.

( Kroney, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 10:29, Reply)

you are mum is an soup

(old man river possible lesbian, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 10:39, Reply)

Not well. Having a stuffy cold means I can't get comfy.
I was in court once as a witness.
I'd seen a kid Stab another kid on the field out the back of the school.
The lawyer or solicitor or whatever for the stabby kid called me "a silly little boy" and I cried. I was like 9.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 4 Dec 2014, 10:20, Reply)

Mulligatawny probs.
I've got homemade curried lentil with me today though.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 10:28, Reply)

Curried lentils?
Could be a windy night
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 10:42, Reply)

Alt yes for council tax evasion, but I went to court as it was the councils fault
alt2 cullen skink
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 10:30, Reply)

How long had you been evading it?
Our council are so lackadaisical we managed to live in a gaff for 3 years as students and not pay a penny (assuming the landlord had sorted out the informing the council we weren't eligible bit) and didn't hear a thing until after we'd graduated and got a letter from a debt collector for the previous tenants.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 10:33, Reply)

Pretty much that
it was about 2 and a half years, during which time I had documented evidence that I had contacted them and asked them to sort it and letters back saying they had received my letter and would be in touch soon then nothing. So when they did the court order for unpaid I happily went along and Perry Masoned them
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 10:50, Reply)

I went to court as an expert witness a couple of times
they asked me to confirm a couple of things that a bright seven year old should have known and then instructed the jury not to bother trying to understand but just to take my word for it as an expert

It was like the anti-science. :(
(old man river possible lesbian, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 10:35, Reply)

you'd have been ripped to shreds by a decent barrister in a civil case
anyone who's too sure of themselves always comes across looking like a right twat
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 10:36, Reply)

yerr ... obvs ... thickoid

(old man river possible lesbian, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 10:37, Reply)

it'd be like watching a giant balloon get popped

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 10:40, Reply)

they were both criminal trials, not some dreary tiff about property and contracts, love

(old man river possible lesbian, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 10:42, Reply)

Well quite
Hence the jury, you colossal bellend.

So property is dreary but science isn't? Riiiiight, ok then.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 11:00, Reply)

Science most definitely isn't dreary.

( Peej, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 11:02, Reply)

Yeah, scientists are renowned for their cool

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 11:03, Reply)

That Brian Cox
he's so dreamy
(Baggenfrock get fucked, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 11:07, Reply)

Scientists have put man on the moon
that is fucking cool
( Peej, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 11:18, Reply)

Where is battered when we needs him!

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 11:24, Reply)

yes ... property is dreary as fuck and science is one of humanity's greatest and most exciting achievements
seriously, love, this isn't even an argument
(old man river possible lesbian, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 11:05, Reply)

hahahahahahah

(Baggenfrock get fucked, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 11:05, Reply)

somebody should front page this
nobody is ever going to say anything more dumb on here
(old man river possible lesbian, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 11:07, Reply)

Apart from every single time you bash your keyboard, you god complexed weirdo

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 11:09, Reply)

being less ignorant than you doesn't make me a God
Pretty much anybody with a proper degree will be less ignorant than you.
(old man river possible lesbian, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 11:12, Reply)

Where is your degree from again?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 11:12, Reply)

Glasgow, Birmingham, St Andrews and Leuven.

(old man river possible lesbian, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 11:16, Reply)

+ everbodys talkin bout cunts moving

(Xav loves PhillieJoe, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 11:18, Reply)

5 hours late I know
click
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 16:47, Reply)

Didn't manage to make it into Oxbridge despite 4 attempts?
Oh.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 11:19, Reply)

I got an offer from Cambridge.
Soz.
(old man river possible lesbian, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 11:21, Reply)

Yeah and you chose.... Birmingham
Your story totes checks out mr smelly oak
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 11:22, Reply)

Smelly oak?
Enough with the insults Gonz
(Xav loves PhillieJoe, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 11:23, Reply)

Some of my friends went to Birmingham
None of them by choice
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 11:24, Reply)

Oh yeah lol.
I've met loads of people from second-rate mediocre universities who claim they 'got offers' from oxbridge but turned them down. I'm surprised anybody goes there at all.
(Baggenfrock get fucked, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 11:26, Reply)

But did they all move there afterwards like some spurned stalking lover?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 11:28, Reply)

Seriously swipey, I loves you loads and you give a great gobjob but you are so wrong here.

( Peej, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 11:19, Reply)

Shush I like seeing him get all righteous and pricktastic about his precious Bunsen burners

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 11:21, Reply)

Yes but you lost when you started the "University Snobbery" bit.

( Peej, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 11:36, Reply)

I didn't get into oxford
No snobbery on my part. I just enjoy watching dr second rate try to justify his belief that he is REALLY CLEVER REALLY
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 11:39, Reply)

are you lying on linkdin?
ON THE INTERNET!
( Peej, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 11:46, Reply)

Ah no, that was the masters, the BA is from KCL
I just hope everyone who sees it assumes it's in something useful and never questions it
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 11:50, Reply)

KCL eh? My retarded cousin went to KCL

( Peej, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 11:51, Reply)

I wouldn't recommend it
Good uni, but it's not a good student lifestyle. You're just living in London with no money. My friends at Oxbridge and manchester and brizzle and Nottingham had a better time of parties etc I think.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 11:57, Reply)

I did the 'expert witness' thing twice
In the first one the defence barrister was a bit of a dick but the evidence was irrefutable. All I did was present it. Second one I didn't even get questioned, just gave the evidence, got thanked by the judge and pocketed the fee - sweet!
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 10:41, Reply)

it's money for old rope but it's a pretty grin indictment of the legal profession

(old man river possible lesbian, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 10:42, Reply)

The one where I was a prosecution witness had two barristers who were called.....wait for it
....Holmes and Watson. I had a serious face straightness problem.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 10:44, Reply)

You liked prosecuting the Holmes case?

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 10:56, Reply)

There's no case like it

(Xav loves PhillieJoe, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 10:59, Reply)

i enjoy watching some experts squirm under cross-examination
the ones who do well are the ones who show they have taken everything into account and formed a reasoned opinion. the ones who are blindly convinced of their own infallibility come across as utter failures.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 10:43, Reply)

Gazpacho Soup!


#reddwarf
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 10:36, Reply)

gazpacho is definitely the worst of all soups

(old man river possible lesbian, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 10:36, Reply)

Could you take this back to the kitchen please, it's stone cold

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 10:40, Reply)

Mainly on my side, sometimes on my back
Alt: Only to pick someone up. /cleverenoughnottogetcaught
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 10:47, Reply)

Waiting to hear if my car has passed it is MOT.
Wish me luck gang!!
(Baggenfrock get fucked, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 10:50, Reply)

'it is MOT'
YOU UTTER CUNT
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 10:55, Reply)

ARRRRRG WHAT'S YOUR FUCKING PROBLEM MATE

( Kroney, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 10:57, Reply)

He's such a dildo, pointing out spelling mistakes and grammatical errors then fucking it up himself. I hope he dies, I really feel that strongly.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 10:59, Reply)

The world must be an utterly incomprehensible mess to him
what with the general public's penchant for conversational exaggeration, metaphor and analogy.
( Kroney, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 11:03, Reply)

NO MY HOUSE AND JOB IS BETTER

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 11:09, Reply)

^^^
I'm SO glad all the pointless sniping and bickering has started up again
( Kroney, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 11:10, Reply)

WAS ARE FEWER

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 11:11, Reply)

Hey at least it isnt the usual suspects that are having the argument
Oh
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 11:18, Reply)

Every decision I made in my life was executed with Holmsian precision with the outcome benefitting me (needless to say)

(Xav loves PhillieJoe, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 11:20, Reply)

HOUSE HALF FLAT
( Peej, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 11:37, Reply)

It's her half flat, I have a whole house of my own!!!

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 11:38, Reply)

Mines better!

( Peej, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 11:38, Reply)

NO MINE

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 11:39, Reply)

NO YOUN I MINE!

( Peej, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 11:45, Reply)