you know what I haven't done for twenty years?
got fucked on cider and LSD and sung along to Red River Rock on the jukebox in the back room of a shitty pub for two or three straight hours

What haven't you done in a while?

(you can't say "sex" or "smiling" as that's a given)
(old man river possible lesbian, Thu 26 Feb 2015, 15:58, 152 replies, latest was 10 years ago)

your mum

(PsychoChomp, Thu 26 Feb 2015, 16:03, Reply)

you're the only one who hasn't

(old man river possible lesbian, Thu 26 Feb 2015, 16:04, Reply)

That's what I heard.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 26 Feb 2015, 16:05, Reply)

are you calling my mum a slag?
I will fuck you up
(old man river possible lesbian, Thu 26 Feb 2015, 16:07, Reply)

I would never do such a thing, I'm just saying that many people say your mums a slag, I'm not one of them.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 26 Feb 2015, 16:08, Reply)

fair play
fancy a pizza and then I'll nosh you off?
(old man river possible lesbian, Thu 26 Feb 2015, 16:09, Reply)

shit sorry wrong account ignore that

(old man river possible lesbian, Thu 26 Feb 2015, 16:10, Reply)

i ent watched King of Comedy in a while

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 26 Feb 2015, 16:03, Reply)

I love that film
-excerpt from 'TH: The Man, The Legend, The FACTS'. Available on paperback and Kindle
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 26 Feb 2015, 16:29, Reply)

read the comments on a daily fail article without wanting to bite someone
this should be a peach.

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2970161/ISIS-executioner-Jihadi-John-identified-London-man-Mohammed-Emwazi.html
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 26 Feb 2015, 16:05, Reply)

seems like a fairly depressing way to waste your brief earthly existence

(old man river possible lesbian, Thu 26 Feb 2015, 16:06, Reply)

so's your face

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 26 Feb 2015, 16:22, Reply)

that's terribly unkind

(old man river possible lesbian, Thu 26 Feb 2015, 16:26, Reply)

it's no hanging around the park to post sneering comments on an internet website, i agree

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 26 Feb 2015, 16:36, Reply)

HAhaha
"Has he repaid his student loan? I doubt it very much."
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 26 Feb 2015, 16:25, Reply)

another well-thought out and carefully reasoned comment here:
"If they are on the terrorist list, it means they have done something to warrant it! Get rid of them as soon as they are on it! Stuff the human wrongs laws!!!!!!!!!!!!"
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 26 Feb 2015, 16:37, Reply)

I think it was probably around 96 or 97 when I last took acid.
I rather liked it when you could buy magic mushrooms in head shops about 10-12 years ago.
Spending bank holiday afternoons rolling around in the sunshine, giggling like an idiot, then being straight again in time for dinner.
So yeah, that. I haven't done that in a while.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 26 Feb 2015, 16:21, Reply)

clubbing and partying all weekend.
I just don;t have the stamina anymore.
I want to be in with a kebab by 3am
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 26 Feb 2015, 16:22, Reply)

I want to be home by midnight most nights.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 26 Feb 2015, 16:27, Reply)

I reckon the only real reason for staying in shape is so I can still dance like a spastic for hours on end then skip home for a sweaty and ultimately pointless fuck

(old man river possible lesbian, Thu 26 Feb 2015, 16:28, Reply)

Didn't think you went for the badly packed kebab.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 26 Feb 2015, 16:30, Reply)

I love me a kebab. Fanny not so much.
That's another thing Ive not done in a while
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 26 Feb 2015, 16:32, Reply)

kebabs are fucking great
meat bread chilli

no dicking about

even a really rubbish kebab is alright

edit: the same is true of fannies
(old man river possible lesbian, Thu 26 Feb 2015, 16:37, Reply)

I didn't get my McDonalds and cab home; took the bus and then made chicken kieves.
So I think i'll do that tonight instead.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 26 Feb 2015, 16:32, Reply)

life on the mother fuckin' edge.
Im off to pick up some weed for the weekend tonight
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 26 Feb 2015, 16:33, Reply)

I would like to try some weed sometime soon, but i'm scared that i'll do a 'whitey' like I do every time I've tried it.
I just want it so I can chill a bit and eat a lot of food... I don't want to be stuck in one of those moments where you're repeating yourself for hours, borring everyone with talk about "hay man you know like potatos are like called ground apples in france", or thinking "Oh shit, i'm having a heart attack".
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 26 Feb 2015, 16:56, Reply)

Just have a few tokes of a joint, don't go mad?

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Thu 26 Feb 2015, 17:04, Reply)

^^^
Moderation innit
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 26 Feb 2015, 17:28, Reply)

moderation schmoderation

(old man river possible lesbian, Thu 26 Feb 2015, 17:33, Reply)

PARTY ON DUDE
/ac
(old man river possible lesbian, Thu 26 Feb 2015, 16:35, Reply)

It's allabuotdat nugget, dat nugget

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 26 Feb 2015, 16:57, Reply)

Is there a more over dramatic group of people than Scousers?
www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-merseyside-31642029
(PsychoChomp, Thu 26 Feb 2015, 16:33, Reply)

actors?

(old man river possible lesbian, Thu 26 Feb 2015, 16:40, Reply)

They wallow in their misery
Like the Scottish wallow in their inferiority
(Baggenfrock get fucked, Thu 26 Feb 2015, 16:43, Reply)

I don't like to agree with Boris Johnson ,k but didn't ihe criticise Scousers as over sentimental whining tosscunts?

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Thu 26 Feb 2015, 16:44, Reply)

he said they were "hooked on grief"
self pity city
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 26 Feb 2015, 16:46, Reply)

You put it more politely, but yes.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Thu 26 Feb 2015, 16:47, Reply)

the same people who got offended by this
go to Spain and drink in expat pubs.
( $$ ✅, Thu 26 Feb 2015, 16:52, Reply)

I'venot been to a festival for a whhile, the wife has got us ticketsfor this, with our daughter.
beatherder.co.uk/
I've never been to a festival with a kid before , pretty mucch dreading it. This one sounds a bitwanky too.
(DBT became a fruitarian on, Thu 26 Feb 2015, 16:42, Reply)

Should've done camp bestival.

( Muns, Thu 26 Feb 2015, 16:43, Reply)

Or not had a kid.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 26 Feb 2015, 16:45, Reply)

I enjoy holidaying with myfamily, just not to a festival, whiich should be large drugsand booze.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Thu 26 Feb 2015, 16:47, Reply)

Why don't you give them up for adoption for a weekend?

(PsychoChomp, Thu 26 Feb 2015, 17:06, Reply)

The wife wants us to enjoy a family experience at a festival.
I want to shovel charlie and booze down my neck, and get messy. She'll win, shegenerally does.
(DBT became a fruitarian on, Thu 26 Feb 2015, 17:10, Reply)

That sounds awful,

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Thu 26 Feb 2015, 16:45, Reply)

It's not gay, just aimed at families.

( Muns, Thu 26 Feb 2015, 16:49, Reply)

we took both of ours to festivals before they were a year old because we're appalling old hippy pricks
it gets a bit trickier when they're older

I recommend getting an au pair
(old man river possible lesbian, Thu 26 Feb 2015, 16:49, Reply)

She'll be four and ahalf by the time itcomes around. Awkward times.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Thu 26 Feb 2015, 16:51, Reply)

yeah ... you'll find yourself on a helter skelter on a massive come down
it's fucking great
(old man river possible lesbian, Thu 26 Feb 2015, 16:53, Reply)

Great.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Thu 26 Feb 2015, 17:01, Reply)

You have an excuse to go on the chair-o-planes though
Not that you should need one.
(old man river possible lesbian, Thu 26 Feb 2015, 17:16, Reply)

I am also a crazy fun guy, evidenced by the fact I have taken illegal drugs in the past.

(Baggenfrock get fucked, Thu 26 Feb 2015, 16:45, Reply)

Mental

(PsychoChomp, Thu 26 Feb 2015, 16:45, Reply)

taken illegal drugs given rohypnol to children
( Muns, Thu 26 Feb 2015, 16:51, Reply)

sleepy fun time

(Baggenfrock get fucked, Thu 26 Feb 2015, 16:54, Reply)

drugs are great but they don't magically stop dull pricks being dull pricks
soz

you dull prick
(old man river possible lesbian, Thu 26 Feb 2015, 16:52, Reply)

she says

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 26 Feb 2015, 16:56, Reply)

what's really cool is going on about how cool drugs are
that makes you really really cool
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 26 Feb 2015, 17:21, Reply)

drugs aren't cool
drugs are great

Hth
(old man river possible lesbian, Thu 26 Feb 2015, 17:33, Reply)

Am I the only one here
who's never done recreational drugs?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 26 Feb 2015, 17:47, Reply)

yes

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 26 Feb 2015, 17:50, Reply)

I'd say that makes me fairly cool.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 26 Feb 2015, 17:51, Reply)

pretty much
drugs make you look and act like a fucking imbecile
(old man river possible lesbian, Thu 26 Feb 2015, 17:55, Reply)

I've seen enough people acting like insufferable twats
to know that it's not a great look.

See also: excessive amounts of alcohol.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 26 Feb 2015, 17:57, Reply)

most drugs make you a sympathetic imbecile
alcohol and coke are the obvious exceptions

and some people are still adorable even as coke-addled drunks

like me
(old man river possible lesbian, Thu 26 Feb 2015, 17:58, Reply)

yeah but
you also think that you make great pizza.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 26 Feb 2015, 17:55, Reply)

pipe down, you dreary old dweeb

(old man river possible lesbian, Thu 26 Feb 2015, 17:56, Reply)

Hey, if anyone here knows pizza....

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 26 Feb 2015, 17:57, Reply)

I think we've already done the statutory ten references to psychodweeb's penis today

(old man river possible lesbian, Thu 26 Feb 2015, 17:59, Reply)

... then they know it's not a blackened frisbee spread with a monkey's miscarriage

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 26 Feb 2015, 18:01, Reply)

^ embarrassing old man who looks even older than he is ^

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 26 Feb 2015, 17:57, Reply)

I do likedrugs, but haven't really been able to condone their use in my past two jobs. Bugger.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Thu 26 Feb 2015, 17:01, Reply)

and easy access to them too
shame
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 26 Feb 2015, 17:21, Reply)

It's bloody hard getting hold of anything personal in a controlled NHS environment, apparently.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Thu 26 Feb 2015, 17:30, Reply)

Window shopping in the CD cabinet.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 26 Feb 2015, 17:51, Reply)

I ent been on here much, does that count?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 26 Feb 2015, 17:32, Reply)

I was talking about you today. People said you were dead.

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 26 Feb 2015, 17:34, Reply)

Only on the inside, work is fucking killing me at the moment

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 26 Feb 2015, 17:37, Reply)

You're doing it wrong then

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 26 Feb 2015, 17:40, Reply)

Do you want to be my life coach?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 26 Feb 2015, 17:43, Reply)

e my life coach uild a snowman
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 26 Feb 2015, 17:43, Reply)

I want to be your life partner

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 26 Feb 2015, 17:44, Reply)

You can be my wife

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 26 Feb 2015, 17:53, Reply)

*calls you al*

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 26 Feb 2015, 17:57, Reply)

Hi Al.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 26 Feb 2015, 18:02, Reply)

Did Al make tangiers his wife?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 26 Feb 2015, 18:03, Reply)

^What Nakers said.
Also, washing dishes by hand. Our dishwasher seems to have packed up, and I'm having to wash them myself like some kind of pikey scum.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 26 Feb 2015, 17:41, Reply)

I'm surprised you even bother to decant your fried chicken from the bucket

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 26 Feb 2015, 17:43, Reply)

Nah, pikeys have all mod cons
You're doing artisan washing up
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 26 Feb 2015, 17:43, Reply)

I *am*, however, using Lidl washing up liquid.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 26 Feb 2015, 17:44, Reply)

hipster as fuck

(old man river possible lesbian, Thu 26 Feb 2015, 17:55, Reply)

ster

Replacement
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 26 Feb 2015, 18:38, Reply)