less budget chat
more pungent twat

Why are you such a smelly cunt? I once visited an office where one of the employees had hung his sweaty running gear from the air con unit. :( :( :(

Alt: That's a lovely blouse you're wearing. Where did your mum buy it?

Alt alt: donner or shish?
(old man river possible lesbian, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 14:40, 71 replies, latest was 10 years ago)

I always smell lovely, thanks
alt. Bonmarche
altalt. mixed
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 14:44, Reply)

I've rarely met an unfragrant homo.
You really set the bar for personal grooming for all us stinky breeders.
(old man river possible lesbian, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 14:57, Reply)

This is true. The only exception to this rule I've happened across is Churchill's on Canal Street, Manchester

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 18:40, Reply)

I buy ethical, animal-free soap which doesn't get the dirt off.

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 14:46, Reply)

altalt: I buy ethical, animal-free kebabs that are just bread and lettuce.

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 14:50, Reply)

alt: I wear only ethical, animal-free hessian cloaks tied with a length of hemp twine.

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 15:00, Reply)

And cardboard sandals.

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 15:00, Reply)

No pants.

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 15:03, Reply)

I bought some Masai car tyre sandals in Tanzania
They admired my large feet. Or mocked them. I don't speak Masai. They weren't very comfy so I gave them away. Needs more bommyknocker. The End.
(old man river possible lesbian, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 15:04, Reply)

I also once went on holiday

(Baggenfrock get fucked, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 15:09, Reply)

did you eat some hunny?

(old man river possible lesbian, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 15:10, Reply)

I don't touch any of that foreign shit

(Baggenfrock get fucked, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 15:12, Reply)

www.solerebels.com/products/riff-supah-talent?variantid=1190035372
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 15:13, Reply)

fucking hell

(old man river possible lesbian, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 15:14, Reply)

I liked the idea of tyre shoes until I saw that :(

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 15:16, Reply)

these are the things
they're pretty nifty but you prolly need to have been walking twenty miles a day in bare feet to get the benefit of them, my mollycoddled white boy feet weren't up to it

www.blackmalaika.com/about/about-masai-wear/
(old man river possible lesbian, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 15:19, Reply)

I bet McBeef has a pair

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 15:23, Reply)

he's prolly got the rare limited edition ones made from the tyres of a 1950s Aston Martin

(old man river possible lesbian, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 15:29, Reply)

somehow I don't think they'd fit my workplace's dress code

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 15:28, Reply)

because I have sweaty bollocks at the moment because although I have an office to myself
most of the staff are lady girls which means that the central heating is always at fucking tropical, and cant be adjusted locally.

Alt... Matalan

Alt2 haven't eaten a keeebab for years
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 14:48, Reply)

kebabs are fucking great
/ac

It's bread and greasy meat and chili ... what's not to cherish and adore?
(old man river possible lesbian, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 14:58, Reply)

the drunks in front of you. Turkish sweat marinade.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 15:06, Reply)

I avoid these concerns by always being the drunkest, sweatiest, and Turkest person in the shop

(old man river possible lesbian, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 15:09, Reply)

I smell of chlorine and coffee.
Shish all salad except tomatoes garlic Mayo if theyve got it otherwiss chilli sauce.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 14:53, Reply)

CONGRATS ON THE TOP THRED M8!!!

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 14:56, Reply)

THANKS BRO!

(old man river possible lesbian, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 14:57, Reply)

MIXED.
Back when I was at sixth-form the chippy used to do donner meat and chips for £2.50. Used to have it with all the sauces nearly every day.

Combine this with the month where I pretty much lived off smartprice frozen sausages and I guess I'm lucky to be alive really.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 15:04, Reply)

Are they worse than the Richmond sausages?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 16:15, Reply)

I try to keep it pretty fragrant, ACKSHULLY
I was once described as smelling 'particularly rape-able' - by a lady, thankfully.

There was a guy who used to work in our office known affectionately as 'Smelly Jim'. He smelled like roadkill. One Friday after work we were all down in the changing rooms getting showered and dolled-up before heading up town for a big night out. Smelly Jim appeared, removed his stinky clothes, took a shower, then put his stinky clothes back on. The net effect of his showering was zero.

Alt: What Everyone Wants
AltAlt: Large chicken, with everything on it.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Wed 18 Mar 2015, 15:40, Reply)

chicken isn't an option
chicken is an extra that you chuck on top of your donner
(old man river possible lesbian, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 15:43, Reply)

You want a doner meat calzone really it's 'bigman' food.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 15:45, Reply)

I like an Everything burger.
Cheese burger with donner meat and chicken. They make you invincible.
(old man river possible lesbian, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 15:56, Reply)

My mate invented a great burger at the chippy.
Double cheese burger, one battered one not, chilli sauce, salad.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 15:58, Reply)

I haven't had a battered chippie burger for years
:(
(old man river possible lesbian, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 15:58, Reply)

Well your options are shit.

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Wed 18 Mar 2015, 15:56, Reply)

it's not my fault that you're a white meat whoopsie

(old man river possible lesbian, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 15:58, Reply)

White meat > Grey meat

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Wed 18 Mar 2015, 16:01, Reply)

if you're some sort of flapping nancy

(old man river possible lesbian, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 16:05, Reply)

Come here and say that
*teapots*
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Wed 18 Mar 2015, 16:15, Reply)

let me just shovel this non-specific mechanically recovered meat into my gob

(old man river possible lesbian, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 16:20, Reply)

that's what SHE said

(old man river possible lesbian, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 16:20, Reply)

Well since you put it like that....I'm in

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Wed 18 Mar 2015, 16:26, Reply)

I want a kebab now.
Large Mixed. Covers all the bases.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 16:14, Reply)

Shawarma.
Anything else is cack.
(eViLegion Chief Commissioner of the Scottish Lunacy Board, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 17:42, Reply)

What salad?

(PsychoChomp, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 17:43, Reply)

I worked with a girl who cooked broccoli and smoked haddock in the office microwave.

Altalt: galette mixte avec frites, sauce samouraï.
( .Yeti., Wed 18 Mar 2015, 16:29, Reply)

Sexy as fuck.

(old man river possible lesbian, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 16:38, Reply)

I mean microwaved haddock
Not that shite francofied excuse for a fucking kebab
(old man river possible lesbian, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 16:40, Reply)

Too late now.
Everyone here now thinks you like low-fat Hoxton savoury lamb pancakes.
( .Yeti., Wed 18 Mar 2015, 16:42, Reply)

:(

(old man river possible lesbian, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 17:17, Reply)

+topknot

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 16:39, Reply)

where *is* McBeouf?

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 16:47, Reply)

he's stubbed his toe or sutin

(old man river possible lesbian, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 17:19, Reply)

stubbed his toe or s
constructing a mechanical rig to animate the corpse of our glorious leader P
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 17:53, Reply)

I smell wonderful - just enough Hugo Boss to be discernible, not enough to overpower
Alt: James Tyrwhitt actually, double cuff, natch
Altalt: Doner, no mayo* easy on the onions, chili sauce.

*Mayo is for homosexualists
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 16:41, Reply)

ew. mayo on a kebab?
The dirty bastards.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 16:47, Reply)

Garlic mayo
And chili sauce
( .Yeti., Wed 18 Mar 2015, 16:51, Reply)

perfumed ponce

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 16:53, Reply)

perfume is for puffs

(old man river possible lesbian, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 17:17, Reply)

I don't think I've ever felt the need to put on aftershave.
Not after a man in a toilet has told me 'no spray, no lay'.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 17:28, Reply)

it's aimed at sweaty virgins and people who piss on their own hands

(old man river possible lesbian, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 17:34, Reply)

this thread isn't even worth deleting
you prick
(old man river possible lesbian, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 17:20, Reply)

fewer

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 17:51, Reply)