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Are you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Are you Beach Body Ready?
If not, why not you fat cunt!
Alt. I went to a General Election hustings last night, the UKIP guy doesn't understand what causes the wind to blow. Do you?
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Peej, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 10:18,
105 replies,
latest was 10 years ago)
Isn't it those big turbine things I keep seeing all over the place?
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 10:21,
Reply)
WITCHCRAFT
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 10:27,
Reply)
#fanksjayse
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 11:04,
Reply)
I am buff and ready for the season.
Alt: I doubt he could find his arse with both hands.
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Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 10:25,
Reply)
I bought your Dad's hand for £8.45 on eBay
I use it as a door handle to my electric sex dungeon
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 11:15,
Reply)
Ha!
I paid cash
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 11:20,
Reply)
I invented the mint plant
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 11:24,
Reply)
Of course
Walruses are beach ready, right?
Alt:
Baked beans
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 10:27,
Reply)
Did you Goo Goo or chew?
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 11:07,
Reply)
*lazy joke about your girlfriend here*
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 11:07,
Reply)
you do
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rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 10:35,
Reply)
fing iz
With a bog standard telescope you can see the landing site. Not sure how that can be faked.
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dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 10:50,
Reply)
here's some non bullshit to fill up the thread
when we went to sicily, we went up the volcano. the tour guide was telling us how she thought the blackened bits looked lunar, and how she asked every bus as a joke whether anyone had ever been to the moon. then one day buzz aldrin was on her tour.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 11:07,
Reply)
ZINGED!
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 11:08,
Reply)
she was a rather attractive italian tour guide
my dad volunteered to sit at the front and was chatting to her in spanish, which just about does the trick. then the ride up got a bit hairy, not helped by the fact that the driver was on his phone, happily swinging us one handed around the volcano.
the woman in front of me and my brother pointed at my dad and said in outrage, "that lazy bastard's not even helping him. why can't HE drive?"
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rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 11:20,
Reply)
i don't think we're ready for your jelly
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rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 10:35,
Reply)
Was it ready?
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 11:13,
Reply)
....of man custard
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 11:15,
Reply)
short suits y/n
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dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 10:44,
Reply)
Of course the humour of their act really came from the fact that Orville was a tiny woman in costume, and also his wife.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 10:59,
Reply)
christ
someone mentions dwaffs and you have to go one better and have had sex with one
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rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 11:05,
Reply)
I WISH I HAD A COCK!
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 11:08,
Reply)
the wizard will probably give you a cunnilingus diploma and spin you some bollocks about it being just as good
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lol man river definite greek god, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 11:09,
Reply)
that reminds me of the NSFW "if i only had a dame"
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rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 11:17,
Reply)
its a good job I have you on 2.0 then!
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Peej, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 11:15,
Reply)
WAIT A MINUTE.....
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 11:15,
Reply)
#MEATFACTS
MEATSNAKE does not dial incorrectly. You answer the wrong phone
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 11:21,
Reply)
#NOSIR
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 11:25,
Reply)
I told my daughter that I invented Jam
She didn't believe me.
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Peej, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 11:33,
Reply)
I'm just knocking the moths off my knitted one piece
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lol man river definite greek god, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 11:03,
Reply)
No reason
m g
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 11:13,
Reply)
what happens to goffs on beaches?
do they make factor 500 goff makeup?
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lol man river definite greek god, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 11:18,
Reply)
Yes
Concrete
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 11:22,
Reply)
is it swim resistant?
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lol man river definite greek god, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 11:28,
Reply)
Only once
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localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 11:34,
Reply)
VERY
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 12:36,
Reply)
one ring
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localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 11:18,
Reply)
I've recently caught myself in the mirror and realising that i'm objectivly good looking now.
I've always had the personailty, but now i've got the look too - i'm quite the catch.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 11:30,
Reply)
if I weren't married I'd be down there wooing you right now
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lol man river definite greek god, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 11:32,
Reply)
Surely you have a nice or something? I'm dryer than Thames Valley Water, _and_ I don't have a problem with leaky pipes.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 11:58,
Reply)
Lose the stupid toy watch and I'd fuck you
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Peej, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 11:33,
Reply)
no way
you can catch up on Twitter while he's tossing you off
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lol man river definite greek god, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 11:34,
Reply)
Yes but if he's tossing me off I have both hands free so I can use my phone and broadcast it on periscope
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Peej, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 11:38,
Reply)
bit selfish
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lol man river definite greek god, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 11:39,
Reply)
he gets his turn after, don't worry
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Peej, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 11:41,
Reply)
Nah' man, it's wicked, supprises me every day.
Plus it's a life-saver, didn't realise how high my heart-rate is, so i'm gonna go on some new loldrugz probably.
When it starts being bundled with last-years-model-phones, on contracts, then it'll kick off big time. I still reckon most iPhone users will want one within a year.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 11:55,
Reply)
I've Shazamed 4 times now, because it's so convinently easy to do now.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 11:56,
Reply)
mebbe go for a run or summat instead of adding yet more drugs?
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lol man river definite greek god, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 12:03,
Reply)
Or walk a dog MASSIVE WINKS.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 12:15,
Reply)
is this another sex thing?
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lol man river definite greek god, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 12:38,
Reply)
I looked at all the naked photos your missus keeps sending me and you are well fit mate.
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Peej, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 11:41,
Reply)
Safe blud, what is your @name? I'll follow you, bet there's some well good #bantz
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 11:52,
Reply)
Noyce whan bruvah.
My schtict at the moment is using Emoji to say as much as I can.
💩👑-👹 = shitking-hell = shitting hell.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 11:57,
Reply)
Look at this whit !
https://twitter.com/PaulyPutz/status/593332751320948737
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 11:59,
Reply)
Swear down, if they don't fix the HTTPS bug, imma tweet Rob.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 12:00,
Reply)
yah'yah', like you didn't rase a smile, I'M ONTO YOU.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 12:16,
Reply)
always, m8
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$imon $quibb ✅, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 11:31,
Reply)
I'm ready for the beach.
The question is: is the beach ready for me?
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.Yeti., Wed 29 Apr 2015, 12:12,
Reply)
do your eggs need a certain temperature to hatch?
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lol man river definite greek god, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 12:14,
Reply)
I tend to slather them in Factor 50 so they come to a slow boil.
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.Yeti., Wed 29 Apr 2015, 12:19,
Reply)
well this is all very arousing
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lol man river definite greek god, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 12:25,
Reply)
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