WORST BISCUIT THREAD

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 12 May 2015, 12:14, 4 replies, latest was 10 years ago)

Blue Riband

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 12 May 2015, 12:14, Reply)

END OF THREAD

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 12 May 2015, 12:14, Reply)

Nice biscuits
And those claggy undercooked abominations they sell in American cwaffee shops
(lol man river definite greek god, Tue 12 May 2015, 12:15, Reply)

They're cookies
Maybe look up what the word biscuit means, yeah?
(Baggenfrock get fucked, Tue 12 May 2015, 12:21, Reply)

they're transatlantic synonyms
sorry if you find this confusing

cracker
(lol man river definite greek god, Tue 12 May 2015, 12:41, Reply)

Rich tea.
I really don't get it.
(Baggenfrock get fucked, Tue 12 May 2015, 12:21, Reply)

the Italians make a biscuit like a rich tea only because they're not catastrophic cuisine fails they've made them so that they actually taste nice

(lol man river definite greek god, Tue 12 May 2015, 12:22, Reply)

They make one called Grissini that are great with a nice cup of British tea.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 12 May 2015, 12:26, Reply)

grissini are bread sticks
what sort of awful northern monkey dips bread in tea?
(lol man river definite greek god, Tue 12 May 2015, 12:27, Reply)

no one said dipping.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 12 May 2015, 12:29, Reply)

dipping is implicit in the concept of a biscuit
it comes from the old french bes cuit meaning "best dipped in tea"
(lol man river definite greek god, Tue 12 May 2015, 12:33, Reply)

i rest my case

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 12 May 2015, 12:39, Reply)

you have to make one first

(lol man river definite greek god, Tue 12 May 2015, 12:42, Reply)

i don't need to
a toothless old moron did it for me
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 12 May 2015, 12:42, Reply)

dunking is disgusting
mushy soggy biscuit/bread and crumby drink/soup?

what kind of a toothless old moron wants that?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 12 May 2015, 12:39, Reply)

You're leaving it in for too long.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 12 May 2015, 12:41, Reply)

urgh
it makes me cringe when people do it
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 12 May 2015, 12:42, Reply)

you're turning into emvee

(lol man river definite greek god, Tue 12 May 2015, 12:42, Reply)

i get that you need help to chew your food
but a young man like windy pig has no excuse
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 12 May 2015, 12:43, Reply)

I've not needed any dental treatment since the early 1990s
my teeth may actually be indestructible
(lol man river definite greek god, Tue 12 May 2015, 12:44, Reply)

well then there is no excuse for dunking
get yourself a nice rock hard ginger biscuit and go to town.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 12 May 2015, 12:48, Reply)

I'll eat my biscuits how I like
you're not my real mum
(lol man river definite greek god, Tue 12 May 2015, 12:49, Reply)

Yer. I mean Cantuccini.
Although the Italians eat them with dessert wine.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 12 May 2015, 12:30, Reply)

I thought I'd buy some online so I look and
Cantuccini are what we call Biscotti.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 12 May 2015, 12:33, Reply)

It means 'twice baked' doesn't it? I suspect they'd be nicer baked once.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 12 May 2015, 12:35, Reply)

That's why thay are Nom dipped in tea.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 12 May 2015, 12:36, Reply)

Tea is shit though.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 12 May 2015, 12:37, Reply)

oh now ... there's no need for that

(lol man river definite greek god, Tue 12 May 2015, 12:38, Reply)

Shut your whore mouth.
Tea is the ballon du chien.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 12 May 2015, 12:39, Reply)

It's boring. It's a boring tasteless beverage for builders and northerners and people who lack imagination.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 12 May 2015, 12:41, Reply)

^ born in cheshire ^

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 12 May 2015, 12:42, Reply)

After that I moved to Worthing

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 12 May 2015, 12:43, Reply)

tea IS shit
but coffee is even worse. stinky tooth staining shit.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 12 May 2015, 12:40, Reply)

See, there you go again, drinkwrong added to foodwrong.
A good cup of tea or coffee is a thing of wonder. However a poor one is adjacent to warm piss, a good example being any that came from a vending machine.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 12 May 2015, 12:58, Reply)

I got my company to start buying Yorkshire Gold teabags and about 20% of people switched from coffee to tea.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 12 May 2015, 13:05, Reply)

Once I plucked a number out of thin air and presented it as a percentage to look right about something on the internet too, it works about 107% of the time.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 12 May 2015, 13:08, Reply)

My figure was based on teabag and coffee purchasing.
You are quite right, the people drinking coffee could, in theory, have reduced their consumption by 20% and those that were drinking tea anyway may have upped their tea consumption.

Seems unlikely though.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 12 May 2015, 13:19, Reply)

So you're the one responsible for making sure the staff room is well stocked with teabags then?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 12 May 2015, 13:20, Reply)

He's the teabagging king

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 12 May 2015, 13:22, Reply)

I fucking rule.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 12 May 2015, 13:33, Reply)

I don't believe you have those figures

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 12 May 2015, 13:24, Reply)

Shirley, from reception, has those figures.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 12 May 2015, 13:34, Reply)

I just checked and that isn't the name of your receptionist.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 12 May 2015, 13:35, Reply)

they're nicer with icing on them
so, basically, iced gems but made bigger
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 12 May 2015, 12:25, Reply)