One more sleep til Friday.

( wanderlust, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 7:56, 297 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Morning Lusty
I woke up looking forward to the snow this morning, but all we had was rain.

*sads*
( rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 8:12, Reply)

Morning Ducky
It was pissing it down when I left this morning, freezing too. I was not happy about leaving my bed.
I'm bored of it being wet, dark and miserable. I'm thinking about running away to somewhere nice and warm.
( wanderlust, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 8:15, Reply)

Morning you's two
I want snow! Not this wet rubbish!

How're you?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 8:16, Reply)

Hello No3L
Happy Birthday! :D
( wanderlust, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 8:19, Reply)

Bappy Hirthday No3l
As per usual the office is a wee bit nippy and I'm all yawny. To top it all off the weather is shite. But I'm happy because I was in the pub last night =]
( Captain V, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 8:27, Reply)

*dons party hat*
Thanks! My daughter just dropped in and she's made me a scooby-string pen! What a thoughtful child :)

Edit: we're busy cos of the weather and three of my drivers haven't turned up today. Joy!
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 8:28, Reply)

The weather's crap here
There's been enough snow to make a very slippery layer of slush on the side roads, but not enough to make it like real snow. The main roads are clear but people are insisting on driving at 35mph. That really irritates me.

And breathe....

So, good mornings all.

Edit HBTY No3L
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 8:36, Reply)

Bleurgh
I still feel like poo. But I have very few drugs left and have to go to sainsburys to get more fizzy make feel better pills and sausage rolls and things
(Bazongaloid, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 8:45, Reply)

*beams*
Cheers! Roll on 10am when noone wants a taxi any more!
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 8:46, Reply)

*put on nurses outfit*
*nurses al*
( wanderlust, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 8:47, Reply)

*sees nurse Lusty*
*feigns illness*
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 8:50, Reply)

Fuck off K2k6
She's nursing me, and that's a full time job.

*looks pathetic*

*"accidently" brushes boobies"
(Bazongaloid, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 8:51, Reply)

Pah, Al.
If you were a real Geordie, you wouldn't get sick, because Geordies are well hard.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 8:54, Reply)

al
Are you accidently brushing my boobies or K2k6's?
( wanderlust, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 8:55, Reply)

Morning all, not even 9.00 and lusty's in a nurse's outfit already!
Penblwydd hapus No3l!

I feel like shit as well, think I'm coming down with a horrible cold but I have no more sick days left so it's sitting here all day...

Small consolation is my 'boss'/person who I share an office with is off, so today will be a long hard day of b3ta.
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 8:55, Reply)

*looks at where hands are*

Oh Noes!

Sorry K2k6

*puts moobies back*

It's true, I shouldn't get ill, I normally don't but this year has been a shocker.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 8:59, Reply)

I don't really have boobies
At least nothing as jiggleable as yours, Lusty. I do have ticklish nipples though. (Is that TMI?)
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 9:00, Reply)

I always forget I have nipples
Until it gets cold.
Possibly TMI there. I seem to have scared everyone away :(
( wanderlust, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 9:03, Reply)

I'm sure
we could remind you of their presence, Lusty.

Although it would help to know exactly what they looked like...
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 9:08, Reply)

K2k6
They're pretty standard nipples really.
( wanderlust, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 9:09, Reply)

Pics or we don't believe you!
I have 3 nipples, but the third is a bit small and disappointing.

Edit: Another bonus of today I hadn't considered: I can listen to Frank Zappa instead of Radio 1, wow!
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 9:10, Reply)

Morning
We've got snow. And I'm about to head off to work clad only in shorts and a t-shirt.

Coz I is a Geordie.

Well, not technically but I've lived here for nigh on 20 years, so I think I qualify.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 4 Dec 2008, 9:11, Reply)

Yes
I think pics are in order. Both of Lusty's standard nipples and DG's outfit for the day.

Otherwise I'm not believing anything.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 9:14, Reply)

Morning :)
We didn't have any power this morning, so I've had a cold shower, and I actually got dressed in the dark.

Then I had to sort out my poor animals, as they need heat :(

EDIT: And I did this last night: www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post319079
( Cawl, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 9:15, Reply)

Right, time for tea
Anyone for a cup?
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 9:29, Reply)

Morning
Got the morning off to a flying start, by having my machine crash and lose a days worth of processing.

*orders a minion to make me tea*
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 9:29, Reply)

That's pretty bad Lab :(
I'm worried about my lizard, hope she doesn't get too cold.
( Cawl, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 9:36, Reply)

Here you go K2k6.
This is what I look like with no clothes on, now you can see my standard, if not slightly pink nipples.

( wanderlust, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 9:38, Reply)

Thanks Lusty
Just as I imagined them!
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 9:43, Reply)

Hmmm
looks like everyone's gone to, errr, research that naked picture of lusty!
(Bazongaloid, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 9:43, Reply)

@al
By research, do you mean have a little cry over?
( wanderlust, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 9:46, Reply)

As long as by
cry you mean, a little sex cry.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 9:49, Reply)

al
Big salty tears from your cock?
( wanderlust, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 9:52, Reply)

Argh
Some of you may know that I'm a huge NIN fan. Trent Reznor just posted up on nin.com that he tried to get David Cameron to film their latest tour in full 3D HD, but his former record company kicked their heels a lot before saying he couldn't.

Now, the current North & South America tour has had a monumental stage performance, with reactive video screens and crazy hi-tech shenanigans. I've seen some vids on YouTube, it looked freakin' awesome.

They won't be doing that stage show ever again, and it looks like there won't even be a DVD of the performance, due to record label fuckery.

This made me very sad. So sad that I looked into getting my ass to Vegas next Saturday for the last show of the tour. It's impossible. I'll never see that stage show now.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 9:53, Reply)

That's the one
You're obviously experienced in such matters. Who knew eh!?
(Bazongaloid, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 9:54, Reply)

@ Lusty
You told me that photo was for my eyes only!

*cries*

Morning all - no work for me. Was in the World's feeblest car accident. Skidded off the road into a kerb at 10mph. Barely a scratch on the car.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 9:56, Reply)

I've seen videos of it
And the light show/visuals look fucking amazing, especially given I don't usually like lights really, and videos never do them any justice. So it must have been unreal live. Can't believe they aren't filming it, surely it'd make the label loads of money?!

*swoons at naked pic of lusty*

@ BK - morning, does sound pretty feeble, you knocked a day off for it then? Whiplash is easy to fake ;)
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 9:56, Reply)

Sam
He left the label, and they, for whatever reason, delayed it to the point where he couldn't have made it, before saying No anyway.

£600, just to see a band for a weekend in Vegas.

It's very tempting.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 9:58, Reply)

@ Sam
Nah, I work in Harrogate and the roads are gridlock, abandoned cars everywhere, the snow just compacted into ice, trains seem to be fucked too so the boss told me not to bother.

There is noone there to place any orders at all!
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 10:00, Reply)

BK
I'm sorry, but look at what a hottie I am. It wouldn't be fair to keep that hidden away!
( wanderlust, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 10:01, Reply)

@BK
Did you suffer wheel trauma on the kerb?

Edit@Lusty - you look very slim in that photo!
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 10:03, Reply)

@ Lusty
I know, such glory shouldn't be hidden from the world!

But now everyone will hate me for being jammy:s

@ K2

Steering seemed ok from the passenger seat when my mate got it moving again, bit of a chunk out the hubcap, but that's about it fortunately.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 10:04, Reply)

*twitches*
I just phoned up my house, and it would seem that the power's back on, as the phone rang so I've stopped worrying now :)
( Cawl, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 10:05, Reply)

@k2k6
Are you trying to say I'm a fatty normally?
:(
( wanderlust, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 10:09, Reply)

There is no correct answer
to that one K2k6. You have been well and truly caught out.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 10:11, Reply)

Of course not, Lusty
I was merely pointing out that it is an accurate representation of your good self. Sometimes the camera can add pounds to people, but not in this case.



Phew!
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 10:15, Reply)

Oh well saved that man
*applaudes*
(Bazongaloid, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 10:16, Reply)

Hello!
Can I just say that there is nothing worse than turning up to work with wet feet.

That is all.

Edit - Just seen the pic of a naked Lusy and giggled.
( girlinthehole, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 10:16, Reply)

Ning ning ning
Naughty boys in nasty schools, headmasters breaking all the rules
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 10:16, Reply)

OoooOOOOoooh!
I just got a text from my rubbish ex, who I don't talk to.

It started with "Just to warn you, you might hear from my solicitor soon".

I got the fear massively.

Turns out I might have to go to court to testify about some car accident we were in.

I'm the only witness... The question is, how nice a person am I?
( Cawl, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 10:18, Reply)

Normally, Al
I'd have been well down in the hole with the pick and shovel by this point, but I was quite pleased with that!
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 10:19, Reply)

Kaol
I was requested to attend court about a car accident also, it'll probably be to do with the insurance company contesting something.

I never got near the courts, they settled out.
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 10:21, Reply)

Good save K2
I would have legged it and hidden under a hedge somewhere.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 10:21, Reply)

'Red, what I mean is
"Do I skew my testimony to screw my rubbish ex over?"

At the moment, I've very tempted to.
( Cawl, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 10:23, Reply)

@ Kaol
I assume she was the driver?

Tell them she drives like a maniac, with a worrying fixation with the film Death Race 2000.

And she eats babies.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 10:25, Reply)

Brilliant.
I opened up to page three of Metro this morning not to find some lovely boobs or a funny story, but instead to be told I had just lost the game.

At least Kerrang radio is playing The Cure.

Kaol. You tell the truth.
( thealternativefact, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 10:27, Reply)

Nicely saved K2k6
@BK, so now you're saying that if you called me a fatty you'd run away and hide after?
( wanderlust, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 10:27, Reply)

Yes Kaol
Perjury FTW!

Your phone will still ring even if there's no power, by the way... even if you've got cordless phones that don't work in a power cut, or even if no phones are plugged into the sockets in your house, someone calling will still hear the ringing.

Ning Ethel, take it you're playing the fool and smashing up the woodwork tools then?

BK - Yorkshire sounds fun! Just pissing down here, as ever.

Lab, clearly the best plan is to go to Vegas to see them, then make your money back in a casino so it won't have cost you anything. Plan can't fail, surely.
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 10:29, Reply)

@ Lusty
But I would never have any call to call you a fatty!

You are of gorgeous busty proportion:D

@ Sam

Yup. 'Tis truly God's country up here, which makes him a dandruffy cunt!
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 10:29, Reply)

Oh... Thanks Sam...
*worries again*

Well Clendrix... The truth isn't good for her.
She shouldn't really have been driving, as she was on some pretty powerful pain meds.
( Cawl, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 10:32, Reply)

That was a pretty good save BK
But you're going to have to be more careful in future, she'll have marked your card.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 10:33, Reply)

Sam
It's still tempting, but i'm going to have to pass. I'm more wary about buying tickets off eBay, and if I get screwed over and end up with no tickets, then it'll have been a wasted journey.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 10:35, Reply)

Kaol,
you should still tell the truth, but maybe you ought to warn her first...
( thealternativefact, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 10:36, Reply)

@ al
*removes foot from mouth*

I just have a knack for saying things that can get misconstrued.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 10:38, Reply)

*grins*
I'm gonna enjoy telling the truth :D

If indeed it goes to court.
And I'm available on that day.

Can I make them pay my wages if I have to take time off work?
( Cawl, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 10:38, Reply)

The thrusty one is correct
you should tell the truth, if she shouldn't have been driving then it's not fair on the other people involved in the accident if you tell porky pies.

Speaking of which, i'm going drag my sorry self to the supermarket for decongestants and pork pies.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 10:39, Reply)

Looks like I may be working from home today
As Tourette's has taken Sweary Jr to the quack's and has just texted me to say that the roads are as slippery as fuck.

And I don't like driving in these conditions at the best of times. Not since I skidded off the road and ended up in a bloody lake back in 1994...

*traumas*

Oh and lusty - nice photo!
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 4 Dec 2008, 10:41, Reply)

Well, I'll plan on going with the truth,
But if I'm feeling particularly spiteful (ie, if the 50-year-old guy she was fucking behind my back for a year is there), I'm gonna take petty, angry vengeance :D

These opportunities present themselves for a reason :)
( Cawl, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 10:41, Reply)

Cheers DG
Oh my I'm having lots of fun this morning.
*grins*
( wanderlust, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 10:43, Reply)

@ Kaol
If you can fuck her over just by telling the truth, then you're in a win/win situation I reckon. You probably won't even have to embellish it.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 10:44, Reply)

In court
Always always always tell the truth :)

And your company can bill the courts for your time absent from work :)
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 10:44, Reply)

Kaol,
no you're not. You're going to turn up looking very hot in your suit and you're going to rise above it all.
( thealternativefact, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 10:46, Reply)

Right...
I'm going with Lab on this then :D
If anyone knows about court, it's gonna be him.

But, yes, if it happens, my awesome charisma will give credibility to whatever I say :)
EDIT: And suit, yes! And truthliness :p
( Cawl, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 10:48, Reply)

I ordered
a couple of 2nd hand CDs of amazon on teh 23rd November, I just e-mailed them asking where my CDs were and got a reply refunding one of them, but nothing about the other. Should I just tell them to stick their order and give me the money back for the second one too?

It was for a christmas present, but I got my cousin something else instead anyway so I was gonna just keep them.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 10:49, Reply)

Stick it, Al!
Stick it good.
( thealternativefact, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 10:51, Reply)

*sticks it to Clendrix*
That was what you meant wasn't it?

Oh sorry, i've left a little wet patch.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 10:52, Reply)

al
Yes. We've had problems with private sellers on Amazon. Took 4 weeks for one item to show up even though the money came straight from our account. Second time it happened we asked for a refund and cancelled the order.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 4 Dec 2008, 10:52, Reply)

Yes, Al. That's what I meant.
And tell Amazon to sod off, too.
( thealternativefact, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 10:53, Reply)

I've bought loads
of stuff second hand of amazon and only had one or two problems. One time the guy had been on holiday when I ordered it and was very apologetic when I chased it up two weeks later.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 10:55, Reply)

*stumbles in*
Morning folks, I'm tired and I've a headache, you don't mind if I just sit in the corner for a bit do you?

Lusty, looking good in that picture ;)
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 10:56, Reply)

Morning Dok
*passes aspirin*
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 10:57, Reply)

Cheers Boss
I needed those!

So are you lot good this morning?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 10:59, Reply)

morning all
I fought the snow and I won!

Twice!

Once last night and again this morning.

*snow glees*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 11:03, Reply)

Dok
Well, I've had work computer issues, and then had to talk myself out of blowing my tattoo/drum kit money on flying to Vegas for a weekend to see NIN :p

Edit: Morning Tulip! Still haven't had snow here :/
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 11:03, Reply)

@ Dok
Not bad, no work for me as we fought the snow and the snow won.

I'm claiming a phyrric victory:)

Morning lady tulip!

*huggles*
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 11:04, Reply)

Right
I'm dressed, the rain has stopped and i'm going to brave the walk to sainsburys. If i'm not back in one hour send out a search party.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 11:06, Reply)

Careful with the thrusting, Al.
They're fussy in Sainsbury's.
( thealternativefact, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 11:08, Reply)

Morning Tulip
How much snowage do you have?

There's hardly any here.

*jealouses*
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 11:10, Reply)

Hello again folks
I've just come out of a 2 hour health and safety awareness session. It wasn't actually as bad as I'd expected as the bloke doing it was very good.
( Captain V, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 11:14, Reply)

well, it was doing it heavily when I left
then in Melrose and Gala there was loads, then past Gala on the way here there was some but here it's all melty :(

Why did I choose to wear the chronically unsexy nubuck theatre shoes today?

*stupids*

*has damp feet*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 11:15, Reply)

Lab
I think I would have went to see NIN myself!

Yay for the day off Boss! I wish it would snow here :(

Tulip you beat the snow? Twice? Was it bad snow and deserved it?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 11:16, Reply)

@ tulip
I love the Borders in this weather. So pretty, but the roads are not the best at all.

It's just turned to compacted slush here:S
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 11:17, Reply)

@ BK
It's so pretty! I want to go and play in it!

*work glums*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 11:19, Reply)

Odd
I've just received a voicemail from a fairly camp sounding man asking me to send him mine and my parents address "flower" as "it's that time of year".

I hope he got the wrong number...
( Captain V, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 11:21, Reply)

@ Dok
Yes, it was bad snow. It made my car go all wibbly last night on the way home.

@ Captain V - I hope you didn't give it to them!
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 11:22, Reply)

You shouldn't have given me
Your number, V.
It's fair game now :D
( Cawl, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 11:22, Reply)

@ V.
That sounds fairly disturbing.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 11:25, Reply)

@HLT
No I was in the health and safety thing so didn't answer my phone. Not going to call him back either.

@Kaol I looked up the area code and whilst I didn't get an actual area the nearby codes included places like Sunderland and Tyneside so unless you got somebody up there to call me I don't believe you!
( Captain V, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 11:26, Reply)

*bursts in*
*sings "Oh What a Beautiful Morning"*
*hugs and snogs for everyone*

How are we all?
*beams*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 11:27, Reply)

V
You'd be surprised at the lengths Kaol will go to to be disruptive.
( thealternativefact, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 11:28, Reply)

Morning Badger
Feeling better?
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 11:28, Reply)

DOK
Why have you got a headache?
( thealternativefact, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 11:29, Reply)

Badgerface! *hugs*
You seem in better fettle today!

*happy Badger glees*
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 11:29, Reply)

Feeling better today badger?
*hides from germs just in case*

:edit: @Clenders It wasn't so much disruptive as it was peculiar.
( Captain V, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 11:29, Reply)

My nose is destroyed
but I am feeling a little better and have an interview for a job I actually want next Wednesday and another hopefully sometime next week as well and House has downloaded *dances about*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 11:30, Reply)

'lo Badger!
you seem happy today!

yay!

*huggles*

Oh noes for no nose!

*makes new nose*

*offers*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 11:30, Reply)

Tulip
Then the snow deserved it! Bad snow! But wet feet LOL ;)

Captain, that's odd. hopefully it was a wrong number, that is unless he called you by name, then you'd better start worrying!

EDIT Lack of sleep I think Drixy, or lack of coffee not sure yet. But I think sleep is the most likely cause.

Hi Badger *hugs* Oh what's the interview for?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 11:31, Reply)

The trainee is back today
And sitting behind me.

She's working on a laptop, and it's a bit shite, doesn't have a touch-pad.

Asking her "Are you getting on ok with the nipple?" seems to have scared her, despite my explanation...
( Cawl, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 11:32, Reply)

ooh
a new nose! Thanks Tulip! *throws old skanky one away*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 11:32, Reply)

I don't think he called me by name
The start of the message was kinda muffled although thinking about it now they could've said Captain or Captain V. Dammit now I'm full of paranoid =[
( Captain V, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 11:33, Reply)

Captain V's Paranoid
My work here is done!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 11:35, Reply)

*hugs Dok*
Hope you feel better soon.

V, hmmm...peculiar. Yes, that seems an equally adequate description.
( thealternativefact, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 11:36, Reply)

you're welcome miss badger
just don't ask where I got it from

*avoids looking at kaol*

@ Dok, wet feet not funny. wet feet all cold.

*cries*

*hopes someone will offer to warm them, possibly by rubbing them a lot in nice ways*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 11:37, Reply)

*rubs HLT's feet*
and very nice feet they are too :)
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 11:38, Reply)

So do I Drixy
Before anybody says it sex will not cure this, it come under the 1% of uncurable by sex!

I just think a good nights sleep is what I need, not sleeping till at the earliest 2am, and then getting up at six for over a week is starting to make itself known!

EDIT Don't cry Tulip they are very nice feet, cold but nice.

*offers fluffeh bunny slippers*

That should help warm them up.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 11:40, Reply)

HLT,
I expect payment as usual.
Fully nude, behind the old cinema at midnight.
( Cawl, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 11:41, Reply)

Dok
No wonder you look crazed all the time!

No WoW for you later. Home to bed.
( thealternativefact, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 11:41, Reply)

Feet
Yeah, erm, I would help HLT, but I can't give foot massages.

*really doesn't get foot fetishists*
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 11:41, Reply)

Lab, I agree
I don't like feet.

If someone tried to touch my feet, I'd freak out, and likely stab them through the eye.
( Cawl, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 11:44, Reply)

*enjoys rubbage*
thanks you badgerlet :)

you have very warm hands!

*warm glees*

edit@ Kaol. Oh, ok then. *sighs*
*cries inside*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 11:44, Reply)

*keeps his mouth shut about feets*

( Captain V, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 11:44, Reply)

Is that an offer Drixy
I've been of wow at about 10:30 - 11:00 for the last few nights though!

EDIT Feet are great but I wouldn't recomend some of them to anybody!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 11:46, Reply)

@ V.
You like feet?

I don't think there's many body parts I'm not a bit partial to.

Other men's cocks being an obvious one though
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 11:46, Reply)

Sorry HLT,
That's how it's gotta be :(
( Cawl, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 11:47, Reply)

Lab secretly loves feet
don't let him say otherwise!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 11:47, Reply)

Oh balls.
It's been left to me to get the overseer's birthday present. On my lunch break.
I'm not even allowed to go for drinks with everyone this afternoon as I have to stay here and man the pissing switchboard.
I'm not impressed.

I have no idea what to get her! :s
( wanderlust, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 11:48, Reply)

TGB
You goddamn filthy liar!

*shudders and dry heaves at the thought of feet*

Edit: Lusty, get her a massive box of Tampax *cackles*
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 11:48, Reply)

Dok,
no, I am not coming down to the dizzy heights of Dokville to tuck you in.

You'll have to tuck yourself.
( thealternativefact, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 11:49, Reply)

Awesome news people
The European court has ruled that keeping innocent peoples fingerprints and DNA is a breach of the Human Rights Act and the police may be forced to destroy their records.

Of course Jacqui jizzface said she was "dissapointed" in the ruling. I hope someone shits on her cornflakes.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 11:50, Reply)

Lusty...
How about a ball-gag?
( Cawl, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 11:50, Reply)

Lusters
Get her a feather duster for her minge.
( thealternativefact, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 11:51, Reply)

@ lusty
in that case she should think herself lucky not to get an apple full of razorblades from you. how mean!

*comforts*

or you could go to Ann Summers and get a three-foot inflatable cock and inflate it and leave it on her desk then pretend you can't see it.

*cough* is not speaking from personal experience *cough*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 11:51, Reply)

@Lab
You just gave me a full on officelol!

Yay you!
( wanderlust, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 11:51, Reply)

How about
I come to Clendertown then?

Hehehehehehe

Stab them in the eye Kaol, do it!

Womens feet are much superior to mens, though I don't have any experience of blokes feet other than my own!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 11:52, Reply)

Ah the feet topic has passed
*does not embellish*
( Captain V, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 11:53, Reply)

I can't believe
that hlt even knows what a cock is, let alone a 3ft inflatable one.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 11:54, Reply)

@ Lusty
That sucks!

Are there actually any decent shops remotely near your work?

I couldn't see any when I was lurking shadily outside it the other day.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 11:55, Reply)

Agreed al
And I thought she was a sweet, innocent little flower.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 11:56, Reply)

That's well good al!
Sadly it won't help me, but I'm pleased on principle. Someone needs to take out a contract on that fucking woman. Kaol?

(edit: thread has moved on, so just to be clear I'm talking about killing Mad Jacqui not HLT!)

@ lusty - has to be something comedy from a sex shop!
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 11:58, Reply)

@BK
Yeah there's some places about. But I'm lazy!
I think I'll just get her some chocolates and wine.
How original.

@Sam. It's her 60th, I don't think novelty cocks would be that well received.
( wanderlust, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 11:59, Reply)

The illusion
of Tulip being sweet and innocent has just been shattered by the 3' inflatable cock!

Damn it!

EDIT Captain, I'm all ears for the foot story!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 12:00, Reply)

Dok
Clendertown is too far away. Much too far away.
( thealternativefact, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 12:01, Reply)

did you all think I was lully and sweet and innocent?
hahaha!

I am really. I meant cock as in male chicken. I don't know what you're all talking about.

*whistles*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 12:01, Reply)

I'm just wondering
where the air valve on the 3' inflatable cock is, and then imagining HLT blowing it up...
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 12:02, Reply)

@ Lusty
I think at 60 any kind of cock is likely to be well received.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 12:02, Reply)

K2
You just made me cry, and so did you Drixy. But heyho I'll survive!

*slopes of to a dark corner*

*cries*
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 12:04, Reply)

What about a stripper?
Could be quite funny.

I've just received my first and second Christmas cards of the year. Won't be too much longer before I'm accused of being a miserable cunt for not writing any myself, but I really can't see the point of spending my money on pieces of cardboard to give to people at work I don't even like. Maybe I'll dress it up as an environmentally motivated decision...
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 12:05, Reply)

*feels mean*
*hugs Dok*
( thealternativefact, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 12:06, Reply)

Sorry Dok
but, you know, some questions just have to be asked.

*imagines HLT's cock-inflation again*
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 12:10, Reply)

*sighs* Here ya go Dok
Basically my ex had a bit of a thing about having her toes sucked, so, being an open minded gentleman I provided toe sucking which resulted in pleasing reactions. Strange thing was she hated to talk about it because she thought people would think she was weird and also disliked the idea of doing it to anybody else as (to paraphrase) "most people have horrible feet".

I started to wonder what it was like as she seemed to enjoy it a lot so I asked her. She offered to do what had previously been unthinkable to her as I (again paraphrasing) "have a very nice pair...of feet". So the fateful night came. She went down on me, waaaay down and started sucking. It was an incredible experience (slight exaggeration) full of tickling and spine tingling.

And that is my story about feet. For what it's worth I don't have a foot fetish I've just had my toes sucked on in the past and thought it was quite nice.
( Captain V, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 12:10, Reply)

@k2k6
the valve, for your information, was on the underside, near the base.

I don't want you to have inaccurate imaginings.

Even if it isn't Monday.

That is all.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 12:12, Reply)

@Captain V
I've never had my toes sucked, nor indeed provided toe-sucking services. But you description makes it sound quite pleasant.

That said...

*lowers tone*

...given the choice between having my toes or my cock sucked, I suspect that the toes would lose every time.



Edit@HLT - so, near the scrotum then?
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 12:13, Reply)

V
She didn't make a big thing about it, because it's weird! Ewww! Feet!!

Just kidding, everyone's entitled to do whatever they like, so long as it's between consenting adults.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 12:14, Reply)

@k2k6
Sorry, I'm all sweet and innocent, I don't know what one of those is.

Will you tell me when I'm 21?

*big eyes*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 12:19, Reply)

Lab!
*embarrasses*

*laughs*

What about consenting adults and consenting animals?

@k2 I'm unhappy to admit that I've had blow jobs that were much less pleasant than my ex sucking on my toes. Thankfully not many though.

I think it's time for me to stop talking about my sex life. At least for today.
( Captain V, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 12:19, Reply)

*pops out of the dark corner*
*hugs K2 & Drixy*

It's ok now.

Tulip, yes we'll tell you when you grow up ;)

Captain I've never sucked or had my toes sucked, but that sounds like it could be nice! I prefer to stroke them sensually myself.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 12:27, Reply)

@HLT
I would tell you all about scrota, but I think Billy Connolly does a far better job.

NSFW because of some sweariness. It's a brilliant clip though.

@Captain V - I've been lucky enough never to have had a bad blow job!
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 12:28, Reply)

You know what is my biggest sexual pet peeve
guys that wouldn't kiss you after you give them blow jobs.

*drifts back out again*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 12:29, Reply)

Stroking my feet
Would tickle far too much. I'd just end up kicking whoever was doing it.

@K2 You git =[

:edit: @TGB I hate guys that do that too. It really hurts my feelings!
( Captain V, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 12:29, Reply)

@TGB
Post-BJ kissing's OK if she's swallowed it and isn't swilling it around like mouthwash!
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 12:32, Reply)

@ K2
Lucky you. I have!



But bless him, it was his first attempt


*edit* @K2 again

To be fair, if we expect them to have our sprog-glop in their mouths it's a bit of a double standard to express disgust if they happened to dribble a bit back in our direction.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 12:32, Reply)

*shakes head at BK*
Why wouldn't kiss me afterwards?! *looks upset*
( Captain V, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 12:34, Reply)

@BK
For that very reason, it's a good idea to eat lots of pineapple!

And on that note, I'm off out for a bit.

Laters.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 12:36, Reply)

@ Captain V
I was just not impressed with your performance I'm afraid.

You got the taxi fare, what's your problem?
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 12:38, Reply)

I suppose that's fare...
The driver did feel me up on the way home which was nice. I think the short skirt helped.
( Captain V, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 12:40, Reply)

Mmm. Pineapple.
yummy.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 12:40, Reply)

fair!!!
*slaps*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 12:40, Reply)

I've
never refused to kiss a girl after she'd given me a BJ, that would just be rude.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 12:40, Reply)

I like pineapple too
Let's just concentrate on pineapples hlt, they'll stop being rude soon if we just ignore them.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 12:41, Reply)

Thought you might do that TGB
It was supposed to be a play on words =p

:edit: Pineapples are fun. Have you ever tried playing hoopla with pineapple rings and a cock? *made the pineapple rude*
( Captain V, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 12:42, Reply)

I once knew a girl who,
being a devout christian, didn't know that BJ meant blowjob* and insisted it was short for blackcurrant juice in the same way that OJ is short for orange juice.

you can kind of see the logic but she was very very pretty so it got the chaps hopes up when she freely offered BJ...





*I only learnt that today from you filthy lot.

*is corrupted now*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 12:44, Reply)

Pineapple
Yum.

That is all.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 12:44, Reply)

Pineapple
Only on a stick with cheese and ham! Or on Gammon with an egg!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 12:47, Reply)

Pineapple is all nom
*pours juice*

Anyone for BJ?
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 12:48, Reply)

speaking of pineapples
I'm surprise no-one has told the mow-mow joke...
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 12:51, Reply)

Ask Wookiee about pineapple.
He's a pineapple whore.
( thealternativefact, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 12:58, Reply)

wookie gets paid
in pineapples for naughty things?

shocking.

Whats the joke then HLT?
(Bazongaloid, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 12:59, Reply)

Wookiee pays himself in pineapples.
Yeh, what's the joke?
( thealternativefact, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 13:00, Reply)

Can I tell it?
can I? can I? can I? can I? can I?
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 13:03, Reply)

Only
if you tell it in the style of the League of Gentlemen.
( rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 13:05, Reply)

After you Miss Badger
but you know I've got this gun don't you!
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 13:06, Reply)

Hello Daaave!
I hope I am thinking of the same joke...

Gun? *eeep*
*hides*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 13:06, Reply)

Hello Dave!
Wanna buy some pegsss?

You're my wife now Dave!

/Papa Lazarou
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 13:07, Reply)

I think we've established we're thinking of the same joke
you're my wife now!

edit: argh, dok beat me to it!

Careful with those panties dear. They cost more than you owe K's catalogue.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 13:08, Reply)

I meant the pineapple joke!
Are we not talking about that anymore

*head esplodes*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 13:09, Reply)

If HLT's gun means nothing
Then we're not talking about the same joke... :)
( rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 13:11, Reply)

yes, we are talking about death or mow mow
as told by Geoff Tipps in the league!
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 13:11, Reply)

I never watched LoG.
*hides*
*calls from hiding place*

Three men are captured by a tribe of cannibals. The chief cannibal told the three men 'if you can pass 2 tests, then you can leave. But if you fail either of the tests, my tribe shall eat you.' So for the first test, the 3 men have to go and get 10 of any kind of fruit or vegetable. The first man brings ten apples and the cannibal chief tells him ' For the second test, you must shove all those apples up your anus. And if you show any emotion while doing that, my tribe will eat you.' So the man gets in 3 apples, but cries out in pain and the tribe eats him. The second man comes with 10 of the smallest berries you could ever find, and the cannibal chief tells him what the second test is, and how he can't show any emotion. The man gets 9 berries in, but starts bursting out laughing and the tribe eats him. So in heaven the man with the apples tells the man with the berries ' Why the fuck did you laugh?! Just one more berry and you could've lived ! ' So the man with the berries, still laughing, tells him ' I couldn't help it! I saw the last guy bringing pineapples! '
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 13:14, Reply)

considering you've never seen the League
and are therefore a heathen

that was very good!

*applauds*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 13:17, Reply)

Badger...
nice.
( thealternativefact, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 13:18, Reply)

*claps*
Nicely told Badger

*hugs*

You really need to see the LoG, I'd offer to loan it to you but you are far away.

And this badger is small
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 13:21, Reply)

*returns*
*catches up*

We're still talking about pineapples? What have I started?
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 13:21, Reply)

YAY
Father Ted! Now there is a hilarious programme!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 13:22, Reply)

@ Badger
Careful now. Less of this sort of thing.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 13:27, Reply)

*throws a joke*
Q: what do you call a line of rabbits hopping backwards?

A: a receding hareline

*runs in opposite direction*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 13:27, Reply)

I'm bored.
Not only has everyone gone out to the pub with out inviting me, but they left at 12.30 (They neglected to tell me this until they started walking out the door). My break's meant to start at 1pm.
I don't think they're going to be back for a while yet and I want to go gets food. I've been here since 7.30am!

Pah I'm all grumpy now :(
( wanderlust, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 13:30, Reply)

*pulls out tranquilizer gun*
*shoots badger in the arse*

You can come back out now folks. The area is secure!
( Captain V, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 13:30, Reply)

Oh Lusty, that sucks.
What a bunch of nobheads.
( thealternativefact, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 13:31, Reply)

@ lusty
aawww no!

I'd just go anyway if I were you. Screw 'em.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 13:31, Reply)

*spank*
Badger that wasn't nice to us folks who have a receding hair line ;)

*Officelols at joke*

Father Ted is one of the best TV Comedies ever, you should see my Father Jack impression, but only when very, very drunk!

EDIT Lusty that's shite, they are complete twunts!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 13:33, Reply)

I'm so tempted to just walk out.
But I'd feel too bad :(

Plus, I need the money.

If I had a cock I would slap it across my boss's face when he comes back.
( wanderlust, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 13:37, Reply)

But Lusty
You do have a cock!

I've seen it,


With my own mouth!
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 13:40, Reply)

@ lusty
if you had a cock, I'd
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 13:41, Reply)

BK
Does your mouth have eyes?
( wanderlust, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 13:43, Reply)

@ Lusty
One!

@tulip

What was that - thought you were going to say something there!
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 13:49, Reply)

who, me?
no, nothing to see here.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 14:04, Reply)

Oh, ok
I thought you said something about a cock.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 14:07, Reply)

HLT
Would you do rude things to me if I had a winkle?

No one's back from the pub yet. This is taking the piss now!
( wanderlust, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 14:08, Reply)

@ Lusty
Might do

*inspects fingernails nonchalantly*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 14:10, Reply)

Woo!
I got first on the new qotw, although my story is somewhat shit.

How are things, folks?
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 14:17, Reply)

Age gaps?
Great *rolls eyes*

*smells burning* My toastie nooooooooooooo
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 14:22, Reply)

I may actually have an answer this week.
If I can be bothered to write it.

Also, about the pineapple. For the record, it's not payment, it's a gift I like to give myself when I've been particularly energetic.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 14:24, Reply)

Wookiee
Nicely lurked.
( thealternativefact, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 14:25, Reply)

this qotw
I'm sure once we weed out the "she took out her false teeth to give me a blow job" and other similar stories there will be some good ones in there. *mourns /all again*
( Captain V, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 14:26, Reply)

maybe
I'll write about how age is irrelevant as some people are immature fuckwits regardless *ponders*

*poisons thread with bitterness*

*finds chocolate*
glees!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 14:28, Reply)

I may have
a story for this one, but I'll have to cunsult with my associates to see if it counts, I don't think so myself!

EDIT That's very bitter of you Badger!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 14:37, Reply)

Well then
I am the perfect compliment to you sugarpie *winks*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 14:39, Reply)

Is cunsulting
like consulting, only you're talking about minge?

Complement, shurely?

*pedant hat*
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 14:40, Reply)

I do indeed
Wookiee. *hands gold grammar star*

*blames flu*
*cries*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 14:44, Reply)

I go out for a smoke
Only to find that Badgers winked at me!

And that Wookie has corrected spelling!

What's the world coming to?

EDIT I'll get this right at some point.

Badger don't cry, snuggle the furry coat. It will make you feel better.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 14:47, Reply)

I am drawing a gargantuan blank on this week's qotw...

But my memory is shite.

Nonetheless, I suspect the pages will soon be full of peado jokes & toothless BJ stories...peppered with smatterings of 'I dated someone old / young and it was great / awful'.

Not quite the scope for humour as last weeks.

Fuck-a-rooney, I can't even think of a good one to make up!

Pooflake's (admittedly shallow) pool of inspiration has finally dried up...

I may just curl into a ball and wait til next Thursday.
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Thu 4 Dec 2008, 14:48, Reply)

*giggles*
*rolls ball-shaped Pooflake around on floor*
( thealternativefact, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 14:48, Reply)

Poof
You should talk about your amazing ability to charm young ladies through the medium of song :p If it makes a better ending I'll say I slept with you :p
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 14:50, Reply)

Whaddaya mean 'You'll say'....?

Oh that's right....you were asleep and completely unaware.
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Thu 4 Dec 2008, 14:52, Reply)

Damn I knew
that drink tasted a bit funny....
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 14:53, Reply)

Ah well
After a few weeks of so-so stories, we have one awesome one, and now another lame one.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 14:56, Reply)

I'm drafting up my rant right now
*cracks knuckles*

*makes herself feel ill*

oh fucksocks. Who gave me the thread killing glare? *blames DG*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 14:57, Reply)

Clear!
*zaps thread*
( Captain V, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 15:13, Reply)

Oh that's better.
I was in danger of returning to work.
( thealternativefact, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 15:15, Reply)

*de robes*
My work here is done!
( Captain V, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 15:16, Reply)

Seems the /Talkers
Are hurling their thoughts at this week's QotW.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 15:19, Reply)

If I answer this QOTW
It might shatter the illusion that I'm a lovely, innocent young lady.

What?
( wanderlust, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 15:21, Reply)

Things must be bad...

if the /squalkers are putting their oh-so-controversial oars in.

Ooh, they really are a cheeky bunch of scamps! - They make me want to ruffle their hair and say: 'be off with you'

...Or snap their spines like limp twigs and make them eat their own bone marrow.

Either way really , I'm not fussed.
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Thu 4 Dec 2008, 15:24, Reply)

Ah fucksocks
Just thought of something I could've posted in the last qotw =/

I'm sure I've no decent answers for this weeks qotw...yet. It's going to be a fun weekend!
( Captain V, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 15:26, Reply)

@ Lusty
It wouldn't do to shatter people's image of you so.

Seas would boil, rivers would run red with the blood of the suffering, horses would sprout tusks. The end of the world as we know it!
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 15:32, Reply)

The end of the World!
Oh Noes

*runs about flailing arms in panic*
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 15:38, Reply)

Hurling thoughts?
Beating a monolith with bones more like.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 15:38, Reply)

*shrugs*
I feel fine.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 15:38, Reply)

Really?
How ironic.
( thealternativefact, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 15:39, Reply)

Gosh Wookie
This is the most you've posted in ages!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 15:41, Reply)

Dok stop flailing!
You'll turn into Al
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 15:41, Reply)

The boss is out of the office.
I'm usually too busy looking at her norks when she's here.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 15:43, Reply)

hehe
everytime someone in House says "lupus" it makes me laugh as Becky was saying she played a drinking game with that
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 15:47, Reply)

*stops flailing*
But Badger it's the end of the world! I hope it doesn't end before NYE.

Wookie does she get them out in the office for you to stare at then?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 15:47, Reply)

*looks sad*
Why Dok? Why would you say that after you know it makes me sad?
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 15:48, Reply)

*huggles*
Sorry I forgot, lack of sleep, a headache, and the remains of a cold are dulling my mind.

*hugs*

Do you want the Furry Coat?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 15:53, Reply)

Lupus drinking game?
Oh, right, with House.

You'll get drunker if you go for sarcoidosis, I'm sure. Or take a shot every time someone is given steroids.

EDIT - My favourite was the Star Trek TNG drinking game, where you had to take a drink for every foot between Riker's feet when he strikes a pose.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 15:53, Reply)

Broad spectrum antibiotics
is the one you want.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 15:53, Reply)

Or everytime
House shoots down one of Chase's ideas.

So many opportunities...

edit: hahah Wookiee that is awesome!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 15:53, Reply)

*wonders what this house lark is all about*

( Captain V, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 15:55, Reply)

House
Is just great for drinking games!

So many opportunities.

Edit officelol. Wookie the problem with that is that you'd be pissed as a newt the first time he was on screen.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 15:55, Reply)

His character may be Chase,
but to me he'll always be Billy Kennedy.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 15:56, Reply)

I'm desperately trying to remember the
thing that Foreman always says.

Bleh :(

Edit: Encephalitis?
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 15:58, Reply)

They all say
"it's some sort of rare auto-immune disease" every bloody time. Then it turns out to be tiny worms that live in pigeon shit or something.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 16:00, Reply)

Billy or Chase
I'm still happy to watch him run around in a lab coat

oh for fucks sake.
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 16:01, Reply)

I've never watched Neighbours
so Billy is a mystery.

I much preferred it when Cameron kissed House.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 16:15, Reply)

Badger
You're getting good at killing the thread. That's twice today!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 16:18, Reply)

hmmm
the trolls are restless today.
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 16:19, Reply)

For some reason I read that in the voice of Alec Guinness, Empress.
"The trolls are restless today. They are easily startled, but they will be back soon, and in greater numbers."
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 16:27, Reply)

I'm writing something here
so that Wookiee doesn't kill the thread.
( thealternativefact, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 16:34, Reply)

Bored

( thealternativefact, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 16:34, Reply)

Are we all saving each other?
No one saved me earlier *cries*

*saves Clendrix*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 16:34, Reply)

Still bored

( thealternativefact, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 16:35, Reply)

I'm beyond saving.
I only tried to save Wookiee so he might buy me a beer.
( thealternativefact, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 16:35, Reply)

Also bored
Can't think of any way of making myself not bored. Would like to take an axe to a few of the people in my office. I suppose that'd stop me being bored until being sent to prison.
( Captain V, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 16:36, Reply)

There's only me in my office.
*takes axe to self*
( thealternativefact, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 16:37, Reply)

*wrestles axe off Clendrix*
give me that!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 16:38, Reply)

Where are you going with my axe?

( thealternativefact, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 16:38, Reply)

I am going
to go slash some fucker's tyres rambo styleeee
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 16:40, Reply)

Righty-ho.
*returns to slump*
( thealternativefact, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 16:43, Reply)

*saves clendrix*
*using his bloodied axe (wound)*

Sorry, the temptation to say that was too great !
( Captain V, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 16:48, Reply)

Sorry about that, I had to go and do Work.
Cheers for the save, Clenderton.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 16:48, Reply)

I'm listening to American Boy by Estelle.
I don't need sympathy, though.
I am singing and dancing.

*breaks window with voice*

Edit: Thanks, V. What a, er, gent.
( thealternativefact, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 16:50, Reply)

Quite alright Clenders
I know how to treat a lady does me.
( Captain V, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 16:54, Reply)

*rubs V's beard*
you sure do

please god not again. I will delete all evidence!!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 16:55, Reply)

*glees*
Well I'm taking my suave self off home. Catch you later lovely ladies (and gents).
( Captain V, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 16:58, Reply)

Bye Vee!

( thealternativefact, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 16:59, Reply)

Bored

( thealternativefact, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 16:59, Reply)

Bored

( thealternativefact, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 16:59, Reply)

*dances for Clendrix*
*dances like there is no tomorrow*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 17:00, Reply)

Hurrah!
*pokes Badger with a feather*

I'm just delaying the inevitable...my essay calleth.
( thealternativefact, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 17:01, Reply)

*giggles*
not the feather!

hehehehehehe
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 17:02, Reply)

That's another 50 words.
*rests*
( thealternativefact, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 17:09, Reply)

Have you done
another 50 yet?

have you have you have you
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 17:15, Reply)

Yes!
I have now completed the introduction and the critique. I am now about to make up some stuff and pretend it happened cite some real-life examples.
( thealternativefact, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 17:19, Reply)

Well done
In another 100 words you get a lollipop and a cigarette :p
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 17:21, Reply)

*scribbles any old crap as quickly as possible*

( thealternativefact, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 17:23, Reply)

hehe
If I find grammatical mistakes though no cigarette!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 17:23, Reply)

My word!
It seems that I actually have a lollipop I can deliver to Clenders once the essay's done. And it's a non-euphemistic lollipop as well! Try not to be too disappointed.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 17:26, Reply)

*pulls English Language degree certificate out of cupboard*
*dusts it off*
*cries at how old it is*
*pretends to have worked hard to get it*

A lollipop from Wookiee.
*giggles high-pitchedly with excitement*
( thealternativefact, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 17:27, Reply)

Wait...
what flavour is it, Wookers?
/suspicious
( thealternativefact, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 17:35, Reply)

Fuck knows.
Blue and yellow?
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 17:38, Reply)

Oh dear!
*takes Wookers off to A&E*

Oh wait! You said it wasn't euphemistic.

Oh.

Oh well, never mind.
231 words.
( thealternativefact, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 17:44, Reply)

Clendrix
killed the thread Clendrix killed the thread

*dances*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 18:13, Reply)

*waves at badger*
Hello again!

Been eating noms and watching tele so been off the thread!
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 18:17, Reply)

Smeg.
I'm off to the pub.
*kisses Badger goodbye*
( thealternativefact, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 18:17, Reply)

Bye Clendrix!
*snogs*

Why hello BK!

Shall we move to an evening thread?
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 18:18, Reply)