I see
b3ta as a frozen, wounded mountaineer stuck high on a mountain in a blizzard. Bounding towards him is a huge, slobbering, hairy St Bernard dog bearing a small barrel of life-giving rum.

Baldmonkey is that St Bernard. I see him as a huge, slobbery, licky dog with hair and a wet nose. And a pink, glistening dogs erection. A "Dogrection" if you will.

Baldmonkey, saviour of b3ta.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 9:24, 125 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

*Open applause*

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 5 Dec 2008, 9:24, Reply)

You've got your nose up his arse, having a long sniff

(GloriaHull you puerile slack-jawed drooling meatslapper, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 9:30, Reply)

Calm down internet nobody.
There's not that many people to show off in front of at this time of day.
Asides me, of course.

In fact. Carry on. I'm very popular and this could do wonders for your online confidence.
Knock yourself out. Work up a big fat sweat before big fat dinner.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 5 Dec 2008, 9:33, Reply)

*raises hand*
who is baldmonkey?

no...really, I don't know
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 9:44, Reply)

LOOK! JMG IS POSTING! LOOK EVERYONE! SEE HOW CLEVER HE IS!

(GloriaHull you puerile slack-jawed drooling meatslapper, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 9:45, Reply)

NO FAT BIRDS.

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 5 Dec 2008, 9:45, Reply)

but Miss Hull, JMG doesn't have his nose up anyone's arse
He just stands, bent over, spreading his arse cheeks painfully wide, hoping, ever hoping...
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 9:47, Reply)

I would stick him on ignore
But I'm quite amused by how much store his sets by his internet friends.

And I'd miss everyone laughing, too.
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 9:49, Reply)

There's "JMG" and that "ignore" word again.
Hand in hand. Near a girl on the internet's post.

Oh internet. Get back towards reality.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 5 Dec 2008, 9:51, Reply)

Ironic that /talk thinks that /qotw is lies
when /talk is just mewling, sycophantic shite.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 9:55, Reply)

Oh JMG
Why don't you be a good little boy and crawl back into that hole in the ground that you call home!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 9:57, Reply)

Steady on.
It's not JUST lies.
That's very unfair. Do you people have a leader like myself I can pick on at this hour?
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 5 Dec 2008, 9:58, Reply)

There's no clique
to be a leader of.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 10:00, Reply)

I think AlBert Kaol
is a leader of sorts.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 10:01, Reply)

This thread is supposed to be about Baldmonkey's shining example to you all.
Yet you can't help yourselves but get overexcited because JMG is posting.
Please. Let's all calm down or you'll have to lunch early, and it'll completely throw you off your eating cycle.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 5 Dec 2008, 10:01, Reply)

I can't help it!
My panties are moist and my cake gland is swelling.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 10:02, Reply)

You're quite obsessed with fat people
and eating. Were you fat as a child, and mercilessly ribbed for it? Or are you still fat? You were probably breastfed too much, and never lost that pasty layer of puppy fat.

Dictate to me, oh great one, when I should have my lunch. I wish to become fat and pathetic, just like glorious leader.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 10:04, Reply)

hehehe
I like your use of words, Mr Jizzmaster, sir, but I'm afraid I didn't understand the actual sentences there.

Can anyone translate please? I feel like I'm missing out on some world changing insight.

Or is this you whacking off again about how you can post 60000 messages on /talk AND go out and see some daylight in the day, even talk to girls? Good for you. Well done. Maybe I should come on /talk for a bit, have my life realigned.

If I'm really lucky, you might even introduce me to a real life girl - one day I'll be able to stand up and say, "I had JMG's sloppy seconds!"

Let me dream a moment...
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 10:04, Reply)

Come on now Mr Oli
It's patently obvious that JMG IS the big, fat, internet freak who can't speak to women, that he's always trying to pick on, but that's all part of the fun.

We should pity him as we join in with his insults towards the LOLFATTIES.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 10:07, Reply)

Why is it whenever you people get into debate I am always dragged down to being seen at your own level.
Now I admit, I'm no Level hundred World of Warcraft Horse or whatever, but don't get yourselves upset if I make some correct points about your well-being.

I'm honestly doing nothing but help for you people.
This is a complete un-acceptance of your own social problems.



Somebody will probably now wish to reply with one of the following:
a) I'm not wound up.
b) JMG's Mum.
c) Ignore.
d) Full frontal misery on the internet.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 5 Dec 2008, 10:10, Reply)

I appreciate all of the tips
and advice that you give JMG, but I have a Mrs, and I'm only on the interwebs when I'm at work.

So, what I'm really trying to say is... would you like a go on Mrs Monkeysex? She's proper tidy.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 10:12, Reply)

You still haven't told
me when I should have my lunch.

I'm disappointed at the lack of effort on your part. Here is a gilt edged opportunity to recruit to your slovenly army, and it's just being ignored.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 10:14, Reply)

I do, Bert, I do
Just had to change my Nicotine patch, I'm good now thanks :-)

I think if he only knew how long Google's memory is, and thought a few years ahead to when he applies for his first job. Poor Jizzmaster.
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 10:16, Reply)

.
I put the jam guy on ignore a while ago because he's boring, but that means none of this makes any sense. However, if his dull little posts are anything like they used to be, I can guess anyway.

zzzzzz.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 10:17, Reply)

Aha!
Kitty! Sorry, I completely forgot to reply to your email!

You're right, the third second fabric was the best, but I'm skint til next week, do you want teh money upfront?
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 10:19, Reply)

It's nice to
be considered as one third of the leader. Although Kaol posits himself as the self styled King of QOTW.

JMG, you should take the opportunity for a go on Mrs Monkeysex, chances to ride a 6'6" ginger amazonian are few and far between.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 10:22, Reply)

AL
Mrs Monkeysex is a lovely petite brunette lady, I only had one ex who was ginger and that was YEARS ago.

So stop it.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 10:26, Reply)

Alright. Seeing as you're all going about 3 at a time now, it's hard to reply to you all individualy.
Plus, I don't want jealousy and some kind of MSN war kicking off between you people.

It's good to notice however that I am still spot on with my estimates, and that the term "ignore" is never that far away.
It's only a matter of time before I'm made a mod or something. No crying, mind. I'll have no time for you people over here.



Before we part. The word "teh" should be punishable by death these days.
This isn't board in 2004. Come on!

Some of you may now be skimming over this post to see what the girl's wrote, next. On the internet.
If she's posted. Quickly, agree with her.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 5 Dec 2008, 10:28, Reply)

Pah!
If you were really a b3ta champion you would be able to reply to us individually.

Fucking lightweights.

I was wondering though, when was the last time you reall got your geordie on, i got my geordie on reet proper the night before last, I got it on so much I had to change my trousers, but not my vest, I only change my vest once a week whether it smells or not. Do you change your pantaloons once a week or just when the get too stained? If we met up in real life we could get our geordie on together, it would be great, but not in a gay way. As you must know getting your geordie isn't a remotely gay activity.

editted for minor type
(Bazongaloid, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 10:34, Reply)

Don't ruin my fantasy Bert
I like to think that Mrs Monkeysex looks like Erin Winters after she drunk the transformation potion in this here webcomic

www.scarygoround.com/index.php?date=20060922

and here in school uniform

www.scarygoround.com/index.php?date=20070116
(Bazongaloid, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 10:31, Reply)

Wow
So would I. Sassy.

Pretty please can I have a go too please Bert, please?
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 10:36, Reply)

LOOK EVERYONE! AGREE WITH JMG! HE'S VERY CLEVER
I swoon with desire everytime his fingers dance over the keys.
(GloriaHull you puerile slack-jawed drooling meatslapper, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 10:39, Reply)

No MrOli
You can't request time with Mrs Monkeysex, she's too precious, even I, as Berts number one internet lover, am not allowed to touch her, my making love with her must be through the medium of using Bert as a Human Strap On, like a sex conga if you will.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 10:39, Reply)

I agree
with GloriaHull! She's a girl she must be right.

I also do a little sex wee when I think about JMG and his pantaloons and cravat. Today I think he is wearing a sexy bright pink cravat with little reindeer on it.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 10:40, Reply)

al
I'm confused... you find that cartoon to be sexual..? That's a little bit disturbing, I mean, she's no Kim Possible, right?

Please do Mr Oli, don't listen to al, I'm not as precious over her as he thinks (it's him I want to be with)
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 10:44, Reply)

In many ways, my success in bringing you people towards other people asides the small group you hang out with, on the internet, shall one day be rewarded with yet more praise from you people.
Feel free to gaz each other about how great I am.
Again, though. You're supposed to be discussing Baldmonkey.
:(

Respect your Baldmonkey.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 5 Dec 2008, 10:46, Reply)

This would be the small group
of people that comprises the whole of QOTW, the group that regularly meets up in pubs all over the country to talk and drink in real life?

Dammit, I've start getting all rational and logical on your ass, I know you hate that.

Blah blah blah, your mum, blah blah blah, wobble, blah blah blah, no fat birds, blah blah blah, internet, blah blah blah. Did I miss anything?
(Bazongaloid, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 10:50, Reply)

Who's Baldmonkey?

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 10:46, Reply)

Perhaps I should clarify
It's not that cartoon that I find sexy, it's just that the image of the tall, wild haired, busty ginger women is how Mrs Monkeysex appears in my mind.

Believe me, it's better that the truth bares (sp?) no relation to my imagination in this case.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 10:47, Reply)

That's ok, al
You can think of Mrs Monkeysex any way that you like. If you ever do feel like meeting her though, and having a real good spit-roastin' time, just let me know.

The favour would need to be returned with Mrs al though.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 10:49, Reply)

Oh cyber-third-world!
:(

Baldmonkey is your hero of the future.
Ignorance shown at this level in a few months time will probably end up with you being shot, or at least beat up.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 5 Dec 2008, 10:49, Reply)

That's very generous, Bert,
thankyou. I promise to return her clean and complete, and I'll replace any parts I break.

Though now I can't quite shake the image of you and Al strapped together, with you being forced to thrust by Al's controlling rod.

I would say, "My eyes!" but I think I just sprained my brain.
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 10:50, Reply)

Mr Oli
The sex conga is not a thing to be boked at, I think we should get more people to join in, maybe we could sex conga across the alps.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 10:51, Reply)

I'll get on the phone
to Norris McWhirter.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 10:53, Reply)

HALT THE LYING!
Did one of you just say you QOTWers organise b4sh3s?!/!?/11?
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 5 Dec 2008, 10:54, Reply)

Your not very good
at this internets thing are you.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 11:00, Reply)

We had one just last week
there were ladies there who played with our crotches, and in return we motorboated their boobs.

It was all a bit tame really.

Oh, and I kissed a man. Again.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 10:57, Reply)

@ JamRag Geordie
We do indeed!

While you're sat on your fat arse with your gran's pants on your head vainly attempting to raise your stubby micropenis into some semblance of an erection, we are in the pub together, drinking to the fact that we're not sad, deluded spunkbubbles like you.

Good day to you sir.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 10:58, Reply)

Regular JMG fans club members know all about my absolute JOY at hearing b4sh tales.
Oh PLEASE tell me more.
Did any of you make any new friends you'll probably never meet again?
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 5 Dec 2008, 11:00, Reply)

I must apologise
for writing "your" instead of "you're" in my earlier post.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 11:01, Reply)

"If you were really a b3ta champion you would be able to reply to us individually."
Stand up.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 5 Dec 2008, 11:04, Reply)

Awwwwwwwwwwwwwww!
That's so sweet! It's taken you half an hour to gaz one of your little internet friends and get them to explain how to do individual replies on the OT board! Bless!
(Bazongaloid, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 11:09, Reply)

Ok.
I figured it out by myself, it was easy enough.
But let's not have a LIE on QOTW stop an excellent point!

It was your criteria. Stop moaning. Acknowledge your better.
Let's get back to Baldmonkey.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 5 Dec 2008, 11:12, Reply)

I think you missed an apostrophe.

(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 11:20, Reply)

Bert
you didn't kiss anyone, I kissed you. And I'm not just "a man" I'm "the man"
(Bazongaloid, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 11:04, Reply)

mistaspakkaman
told me that he pleasured himself while reading my story about Madam Marlboro and the Sponge Fingers.

I think I'm going to cry now.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 11:05, Reply)

The sex conga makes me happy.
But how will the ladies enjoy our 1000 backed beast?
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 11:07, Reply)

Bert's crying.
*pleasures self*
(Flid James carry on, mongs, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 11:07, Reply)

35 mins. Good reactions. Another world record.
I wonder if he'll still be here at midnight while we're all down the pub, calling out, "AAAND another thing!"
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 11:09, Reply)

Down the pub with your internet friends?
:(
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 5 Dec 2008, 11:13, Reply)

The point here is
that if you meet in real life and know their names and everything, they are just "friends", the starting point for which happens to have been an internet forum.

Now I realise you may have difficulty with this concept, so how's about you follow this link to have it explained in a more formal manner.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 11:17, Reply)

Listen. If I said I didn't like chicken, you people would throw a tantrum and turn into the most pro-chicken club the likes of which the world has never seen before!
Don't fall out with me because I make fun of the internet friends clubs.
Please, let's be more adult about this.

I'm very popular.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 5 Dec 2008, 11:24, Reply)

Yawn
find something else to brag about. We haven't heard much about your penis or pantaloons recently. please enlighten us?
(Bazongaloid, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 11:27, Reply)

I dont understand
Why QOTW post responses to JMG and his threads. Its unnecessary attention your giving him and probably just spurring him on with his child-like babble.

Oh look what I gone done...
(i should have joined myspace, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 11:18, Reply)

They can't help it.
Very important, etc.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 5 Dec 2008, 11:25, Reply)

It's true
it is a waste of time, but then again, I'm at home with nothing to do today so it's mildly diverting.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 11:21, Reply)

We're not responding to him, exactly
He just happens to be in the room while we take the piss out of him.
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 11:22, Reply)

You're saying you'd discuss me if I wasn't here?
That hasn't gone well.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 5 Dec 2008, 11:26, Reply)

We would.
We'd say, "Isn't it lovely and quiet today. Cup of tea anyone? Fruitcake? Anal penetration?"

But you wouldn't know this: You're never here and not posting, just sitting enjoying the gentle hum. Maybe you should try it? Just for an hour? Or maybe you know you wouldn't be able to face /talk again...
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 11:32, Reply)

@ Myspace
I couldn't find a puppy to kick, this is the closest alternative.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 11:23, Reply)

it's always interesting to see what
the internet version of Chris Moyles is up to as well.

likening /talkers to radio 1 listeners works well for me
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 11:25, Reply)

Excellent.
I liken a lot of you to Virgin listeners.

There's a few ways you can take that line.
You'll probably use the one that gets you most wound up.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 5 Dec 2008, 11:28, Reply)

But Chris Moyles is a big, fat, offensive prick. How does that compare to JMG?

(GloriaHull you puerile slack-jawed drooling meatslapper, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 11:26, Reply)

GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111111111
AUTO-AGREE!
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 5 Dec 2008, 11:28, Reply)

Id put money on JMG
being fat
(i should have joined myspace, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 11:26, Reply)

We have a "Club Misery" on /talk that likes to make these things up, too.
You should join.

There's no halting the internet.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 5 Dec 2008, 11:29, Reply)

the appearance thing is nothing to do with it
I have no idea what JMG looks like, and nor do I care.

Chris Moyles:
isn't funny
proclaims himself saviour of Radio 1 (yes, I know the OP says baldmonkey is, but I don't know who that is, and no one will answer when I ask. People's champion is close enough)
has an audience and fanbase of morons

need I go on?

edit: Virgin plays some good music (occasionally). I am too full of rage in my life outside the internet to allow internet stuff to wind me up
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 11:29, Reply)

It's not as good since Pete and Jeff left
And even then it wasn't as good once Jeff became tee-total.

Pete just used to spend 3 hours laughing at him and feeding him rope :-)
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 11:34, Reply)

If Baldmonkey is so great
how come his posts got deleted?
( Peej, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 11:35, Reply)

Steady now.
They CRUCIFIED Jesus!
:(
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 5 Dec 2008, 11:39, Reply)

What's very cute
is that he has just learnt how to do the individual replies thing and is using it wherever possible. Make me want to give him a big hug and tickle him under the chin then send him on his way with a nice satsuma and a milky bar.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 11:36, Reply)

What a strange way of saying "Well done JMG".
It wouldn't hurt you, you know.
Maybe damage your internet ego a bit in front of internet friends, perhaps. But it's not going to hurt you.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 5 Dec 2008, 11:40, Reply)

It's curious that you feel I
should be pleased that you have managed to get someone to show you a rather simple trick which a lot of us, none of whom claim to be any sort of internet deity, figured out a long time ago and use for humorous purposes, whereas you think it's the new black and use it on every post. It doesn't work like that I'm afraid. No satsuma for you today.
















Oh go on then, have a satsuma, I can't resist that cheeky little grin.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 11:45, Reply)

I'm sorry if your phrase:
"If you were really a b3ta champion you would be able to reply to us individually.

Fucking lightweights."

Was lost in translation a little earlier, or raises any kind of argument with your point, there.
Technically, you may be arguing with yourself, at this time.
Feel free to blame me, JMG, however. I get this a lot.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 5 Dec 2008, 11:49, Reply)

What was lost there?
You didn't know how to do it when I posted that, now you do and you have been overusing it.

I'm pretty sure your not me, although, that said, if you were it would mean that I was actually fantasising about myself a lot while I fruitlessly masturbate. Now that would be strange.

Either way, you should avoid getting drawn into yer actual debates, when you simply keep posting the same things i.e. wobbles, fat people, internets, people champion etc. You can't really be touched, but you've gone and let yourself be drawn into an argument.

And sadly, you ain't coming off well. Try harder next time. I'm going to do a massive poo now.

Enjoy your satsuma.

xx
(Bazongaloid, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 11:54, Reply)

What was lost there?
You didn't know how to do it when I posted that, now you do and you have been overusing it.

I'm pretty sure your not me, although, that said, if you were it would mean that I was actually fantasising about myself a lot while I fruitlessly masturbate. Now that would be strange.

Either way, you should avoid getting drawn into yer actual debates, when you simply keep posting the same things i.e. wobbles, fat people, internets, people champion etc. You can't really be touched, but you've gone and let yourself be drawn into an argument.

And sadly, you ain't coming off well. Try harder next time. I'm going to do a massive poo now.

All I'm seeing here is:
SHUT UP. I'M LEAVING!
LOOK, GANG!
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 5 Dec 2008, 11:59, Reply)

Whats even cuter is
ummmmmm

I can't do the individual replies :(

I am not S-M-A-T
( Peej, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 11:39, Reply)

Thats because
you are shit
( Peej, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 12:12, Reply)

who is baldmonkey?
?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 11:45, Reply)

Baldmonkey and Timmy Mallet are neighbours

(PsychoChomp, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 11:46, Reply)

Correct!
Baldmonkey is a tremendous tennis player, too.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 5 Dec 2008, 11:50, Reply)

Best Thread Ever

( WormuIus, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 11:50, Reply)

I've made countless friends.
Mainly through my wit and general good sportsmanship.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 5 Dec 2008, 11:51, Reply)

I've made countless friends
Through my love of digging up dead bodies and sewing them together.
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 11:52, Reply)

QOTW, never afraid to make it up.

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 5 Dec 2008, 11:54, Reply)

You hope...

(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 12:03, Reply)

Can someone become angry at me please?

(PsychoChomp, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 11:55, Reply)

Tell them you're me.

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 5 Dec 2008, 12:00, Reply)

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!
SQUAWK SQUAWK SQUAWK SQUAWK
GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!

Will that do?
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 11:57, Reply)

Good effort!

(GloriaHull you puerile slack-jawed drooling meatslapper, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 12:03, Reply)

Tell me, Jizzmaster,
Do you sometimes cry a little when you wank?
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 12:03, Reply)

This is all b3ta circa 2004 type banter.
I've often referred to Piston_Broke as a bit a of a cranker, myself.

Perhaps THIS is the issue, in time, you'll become more accustomed to outsiders making excellent points.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 5 Dec 2008, 12:07, Reply)

I'm glad this was pointed out to me
www.b3ta.com/talk/5712194

It makes me smile. He deserves his satsuma now.

My poo was quite substantial, I realised I hadn't done one for a day or two, I was concerned it would block the toilet but it all seemed to go down okay*.

* insert "like your mum" joke here.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 12:04, Reply)

Key word:
"I've".
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 5 Dec 2008, 12:08, Reply)

You really should do something about that sand in your vagina
It's gonna start stinging.
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 12:11, Reply)

But this is the internet
Therefore everything you post is likely to be a lie. And lets face it, you would look even more of a simpering cunt if you posted "Mike woz ere explained to me how to post individual replies on the Off Topic Board".

I'm sure the deafening indifference to your reply would have been just that much harder to take if you hadn't claimed to have worked it out yourself*.


* insert constipated accountant joke here
(Bazongaloid, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 12:12, Reply)

What are you making up, now?
I did work it out for myself, it wasn't very difficult.
Are you alright?
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 5 Dec 2008, 12:13, Reply)

This comment is on the OT board
therefore, by your own insistence, it must be a lie.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 12:15, Reply)

Finally. A break-through!
The next time somebody breaks down in public on the internet for attention, I'm going to use our excellent replying shortcut to point out that you too think they lie for attention.

Excellent.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 5 Dec 2008, 12:18, Reply)

Well, you can do
but it's a completely circular argument isn't it, you're obviously lieing when you accuse them of lieing and so on and so forth.

Not worth the hassle.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 12:19, Reply)

You're still to acknowledge me as a leader of b3ta, you know?

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 5 Dec 2008, 12:22, Reply)

But you don't know how to use commas correctly
And you've gone and started another thread before you finished on this one. So i'm afraid that puts you right back down to nobby nobody stakes again.

That's just the way it is.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 12:24, Reply)

You start many sentences with "and", but I don't point it out.
It's not difficult to be a classy, even on the internet.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 5 Dec 2008, 12:27, Reply)

There's honestly been a couple times now where you've argued with your own point.
I might as well leave for a bit. You could go for another half hour or so.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 5 Dec 2008, 12:28, Reply)

Sadly
all I am reading in that is "Damn, damn, damn, I have no friends, my penis is substantially below average length when fully erect, I couldn't peel my satsuma and someone on the internet made logical points I couldn't refute simply by saying how important I was. Better go and pleasure myself behind the bins"
(Bazongaloid, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 12:38, Reply)

Precisely
But I'm not claiming to be a champion, am I?

So until you can demonstrate that you have been posting for a whole week without any basic grammatical errors, you will remain a tragic little troll.

Do feel free to show me when you have completed your week though, and I'll happily say you're a champ.

Checking may take me some time though, what with me having both a job and a social life.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 12:30, Reply)

Back we go again!
"If you were really a b3ta champion you would be able to reply to us individually."
You say people who are b3ta champions knew how to do that.
Before I worked it out.


:(
That's very two-faced, right there.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 5 Dec 2008, 12:41, Reply)

No it isn't
that's just a case of you simply being wrong. And that's gone an extended my time limit to two weeks.

You can keep going if you want, but it's only going to get harder to prove your worth.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 12:55, Reply)

Oh noes! Someone is wrong on the internet!
Just so you know, I'm really riled and angry and jolly annoyed now at the thought of you quoting Al out of context. You must be stopped, you must be corrected and punished, we must burn you in a pit of 100000 flames.

You, sir, are a bounder and a cad.
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 12:22, Reply)

Al
your mum goes down a bit better than merely OK!
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 12:07, Reply)

JMG - The lubricated suppository of O/T??

(GloriaHull you puerile slack-jawed drooling meatslapper, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 12:08, Reply)

Am I not replying to you enough?
What's up?
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 5 Dec 2008, 12:09, Reply)

He does. I think we should all give him one.
And this thread makes him look like a God. I'd cross post it too, if I were him. After a quick crank, of course.
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 12:09, Reply)

Just posting to express my apathy and let everyone know I'm not wound up.
k thx
( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 14:19, Reply)

Who's baldmonkey?
Actually, fuck it; I can't be arsed.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 5 Dec 2008, 18:34, Reply)