The Thursday Thread
The door is open. Come to the 'home', be sweet, and tell us your troubles.


( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 8:31, 237 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

* whores post *
Only a few hours left, so have a read.

www.b3ta.com/questions/cougars/post325209

( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 8:32, Reply)

Thank god for that
I've been sitting here since 6.30 waiting for someone to start a HSH thread. I'd have started one myself but I'm too lazy.

Spakka - my, that's some epic story. Nicely written though and clicked.

EDIT: *looks in mirror and adjusts Thread Killer hat to jaunty angle*
( rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 8:35, Reply)

Morning guys
Bloody quiet in here today!

How are you both?
( Captain V, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 8:50, Reply)

Morning V
I'm feeling a little tired this morning. I really must start to make some sort of effort to go to bed before midnight when I rise at 5.30am.

Don't think anything's going to change though, as it's been the same story every day for the last 4 years.

And how is you good self?
( rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 8:53, Reply)

morning
freaking cold this morning

I like it though. proper winter.

and at least it's not fucking raining.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 8:53, Reply)

Good morning everyone
I'm on site at the EU today for the summit, just going to be sitting here on b3ta most of the day hoping nothing goes wrong!
(bill, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 9:00, Reply)

Morning Vipros
It looks like the temperature's dropping still too.

When I arrived at my desk at 6.30, the natty screen I've got on the wall showing the readings from the test track weather station reckoned it was 1.1 degrees out there.

Now it's just dipped 0.1 below freezing...

*does snow dance around office*
( rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 9:00, Reply)

my car thermometer
while almost certainly not accurate was saying -2 degrees this morning
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 9:01, Reply)

I'm in much the same boat ducky
Went to bed at about 00:45 last night after lots of heavy discussion about politics, science fiction, Heath Ledger's performance in the Dark Knight and why lesbianism seems to be more of a turn on for men than gayness (probably the wrong term but fuck it) is for women.

Needless to say I was awake in bed for hours trying to work out whether my ideas about morality are utilitarian or not.

Fortunately I can get away with oversleeping by half an hour if I shower the night before and skip breakfast.
( Captain V, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 9:01, Reply)

V
I've never understood why some men find lesbianism a turn-on though.

Maybe it's because of all the lesbians I know personally (30+, due to my gay club connections), I wouldn't go near a single one of them with somebody else's bargepole if they were straight. None of them are exactly what you'd call my type.
( rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 9:11, Reply)

Morning all
I'm a grumpy bastard today. I'm tired and my throat hurts.

I saw Supergrass last night though, they were really good.

How is everyone?
(Bazongaloid, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 9:11, Reply)

it's not lesbianism as such that does it
it's the thought of two (or more) hot women getting it on.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 9:14, Reply)

Morning newcommers
I stayed up 'till 5 last night. I was determined to get my QOTW entry posted before I went to bed. Am not too tired, but the sleep may hit me during the day. I just need to appear to be awake and take some Pro-Plus tablets, and I should be fine.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 9:15, Reply)

^^^
I think this is true, real life lesbians are not all hot nubile blondes who carry lube and sex toys with them everywhere they go.

I understand many of them look like "normal" women (I realise the use of normal isn't really appropriate, it was intended as a joke)
(Bazongaloid, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 9:16, Reply)

it's quite an epic spakka
nicely written though, and as usual, thought-provoking!
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 9:16, Reply)

Vipros
And therein lies the problem. I've not yet met a lesbian who I'd describe as a hot woman :)
( rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 9:16, Reply)

I have
I was at uni and had gone out on datelette with a girl I'd met at the surf club. she was gorgeous and a couple of years older.

I had a large joint before hand to settle my nerves and when I got to the pub to meet her she'd bumped into an old friend from home and they were in full flow of conversation.

This other girl who, it transpired, was a lesbian was smokin' hot as well, and I was so stoned (misjudged the pot content badly) that I just kind of sat there and kept imagining them suggesting a 3-way...

good times.
Didn't happen unfortunately
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 9:20, Reply)

I know one
One of my friends from school is gay, well she says she's bisexual.

And she's fine. (as in, "Dude, she's totally fine SCHWING!")(not as in, she's in good health at the moment)
(Bazongaloid, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 9:21, Reply)

Morning All!
The conversation has turned to lesbians already? Once when I was at a lapdancing club I pulled one of the dancers who was a lesbian (I was just hammered). She was hot

*see's boss arriving*
*runs back off*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 9:23, Reply)

Now that's gone
and completely skewed our sample.

Although, it does kind of show my comment that lesbians look just like women in general.

I've heard it said about gay men as well. Apparently not all of them will try and bum you as soon as you turn around. So that "backs to the wall stuff" is just unnecessary.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 9:25, Reply)

TGB!
What's with the stray apostrophe?

*slaps TGB around the face with a wet lettuce*
( rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 9:25, Reply)

OMG!
TGB has made a simple grammatical error!

The world is ending!

here here Rubberduck!

*giggles*
(Bazongaloid, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 9:28, Reply)

A boss TGB, have you got a new job?
Your story made me laugh, I'm sure spakka will write a longer version later!

I know a lesbian couple that are both really fit. Good story eh? I am very tired so can't be bothered to try and make it into anything funny. Now I'm rambling...
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 9:28, Reply)

I know a few hot ones
and a few that are not so hot to put it kindly, I guess it's like every other demographic, you can't generalize.

In other news I just got broadcast live on Sky Italia News having a smoke in the background of a live report!
(bill, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 9:30, Reply)

I was at a gig once
and two lesbians rocked up in front of me and started making out in the most full on fashion

Unfortunately they were both incredibly ugly. Quite put me off!
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 9:30, Reply)

I was at a gig
and there were a group of very camp men standing behind me singing along in harmony to all the songs.

I assume they were gay since it was a Kelly Clarkson concert and the majority of attendees seemed to be young girls, girls with boyfriends attached and groups of gay men. I was alone, but I was meant to be going with my girlfriend but she went ski-ing instead.

It was actually my idea to go in the first place mind. I saw her on my birthday this year, when I found out the date she was playing I did a little scream and ran around the house a couple of times.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 9:34, Reply)

If it's of interest to anybody
The question posed to me last night was

From an academic perspective though, why do you think it seems odd that a woman would find gay men attractive? Men freely admit to fetishizing (is that a word?) lesbians, and yet the contrary is rarely acknowledged.

My response

I think a lot of it could stem from it being less socially acceptable for women to admit to enjoying anything pornographic than it is for a man to. That'd cause a lot of women to say they don't like it even if they did. It's a bit of a vicious circle I suppose.

Another aspect could be biological. A woman is predisposed to being attracted to a mate that will protect her offspring and gay men making out are making a very clear signal that they aren't going to do that thus making them less attractive to a woman looking for a mate.

A hetrosexual man, on the other hand, is (biologically) only interested in spreading his genes to as many women as possible. A hetrosexual woman might have intercourse with another man thus risking that his own wouldn't fertilise the ovum. A lesbian isn't going to go and sleep with another man thus increasing the chance that his own sperm will fertilise the egg.

Both those traits could conceivably have evolved as they do increase the chance of successful reproduction for the carrier of the trait but it's a relatively minor reproductive advantage which probably explains why there are men that don't find lesbians a turn on and women that do find gay men a turn on.
( Captain V, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 9:35, Reply)

Lesbians at gigs
When I was 16 I was at a gig where I bumped into two hot girls who were making out to tease the guys around them. They then decided to take it in turns to make out with me before we went somewhere quieter.

*grins*

Lesbianism is win.

:edit: I've noticed a bunch of typographical and grammatical errors my last post but I can't be arsed to correct them. *hides from the badger*
( Captain V, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 9:36, Reply)

Morning all
You lot good today?

I think I'll start of the day as I mean to go on, with a joke!

Three couples playing golf!

The Swede's wife steps up to the tee and, as she bends over to place her ball, a gust of wind blows her skirt up and reveals her lack of underwear.
'Good God, woman! Why aren't you wearing any skivvies?', Ole demanded.
Well, you don't give me enough housekeeping money to afford any.'
The Swede immediately reaches into his pocket and says 'For the sake of decency, here's a 50. Go and buy yourself some underwear.'

Next, the Irishman's wife bends over to set her ball on the tee. Her skirt also blows up to show that she too, is wearing no undies.
'Blessed Virgin Mary, woman! You've no knickers. Why not?'
She replies, 'I can't afford any on the money you give me.'
Patrick reaches into his pocket and says 'For the sake of decency, here's a 20. Go and buy yourself some underwear!'

Lastly, the Scotsman's wife bends over. The wind also takes her skirt over her head to reveal that she, too, is naked under it.
'Sweet mudder of Jaysus, Aggie! Where ta friggin hell are yer drawers?'
She too explains, 'You dinna give me enough money ta be able ta affarrd any.'
The Scotsman reaches into his pocket and says, 'Well, fer the love 'o decency, here's a comb.....Tidy yerself up a bit.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 9:37, Reply)

I'd say that unless it's a very very subconcious thing
that the fact that a woman isn't going to go sleep with another man isn't the cause of the attraction.

It's more immediate than that.

Potentially it could work like this:

1. One naked woman is good
2. Two hot naked women is better
3. Since they are there, they may as well be enjoying themselves and each other
4. ???
5. Profit
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 9:37, Reply)

I think Vipros is right
I like vaginas, having a choice of which one to go for first seems like a good idea in theory. In practice of course, I wouldn't want to as I love Mrs Al too much.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 9:41, Reply)

I only read as far as the temperature bit..
And I would love it if it were -2 here :D

-10 is not my idea of a fun 20 minute walk to work! Damn.. And it's only december.

Still, hopping over to warmer climes (england) 21st woo!
(darras jeg har en grevling i hodet. Grevling, grevlang, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 9:44, Reply)

It's Nationa'l
Apostroph'e everywher'e da'y. Di'd yo'u no't hea'r?

*eats lettuce*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 9:44, Reply)

Vipros
1) Your argument is brilliant.

2) I don't think anybody has considerable concious control over what they do and don't find attractive so I'd say it probably is a very subconscious mechanism. Obviously we're consciously aware of feelings of attraction.

If what I'm suggesting resembles the truth in any way it would most likely have developed at a time before human society developed monogamy and would just be a hangover from that period as there's be no significant benefit to not having those unconscious drives.
( Captain V, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 9:45, Reply)

Yeah, all right V!
Noone likes a smug bastard! :p
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 9:45, Reply)

Badger
You turning into a rabbit, eating lettuce, pah. You'd never catch me doing that!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 9:46, Reply)

noe's!
-15 later to'ay and -17 at 't week'nd :(
(darras jeg har en grevling i hodet. Grevling, grevlang, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 9:47, Reply)

BK
Yea you're right but I've not told that story in a long time so thought I'd let it out.

*continues to be smug*
( Captain V, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 9:47, Reply)

Morning all!
I have succeeded in buying an electronic drum kit off eBay! A grand start to the morning I feel.

Oh, and I know a few lesbians, and the hot ones outnumber the, erm, more homely ones.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 9:48, Reply)

V
thanks, I thought through that argument quite carefully.

Finding lesbians hot I can understand, what I would like to know is why did I suddenly start finding pigtails* incredibly sexy...


*clarification: not the tails of actual pigs, nor pigtails on young school girls.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 9:49, Reply)

@darras
well if you will live in a crazy scandinavian country.

Is Norway scandinavian?
(Bazongaloid, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 9:49, Reply)

@al
theoretically.. Perks though - waist deep snow!
(darras jeg har en grevling i hodet. Grevling, grevlang, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 9:50, Reply)

The pigtails thing is just personal preference
I like boots myself.

Although thinking about it, the pigtails thing could be a symptom that you are a FILTHY PEEDO WOT KILLED BABY P WIF THE ANGLES ALL ROUND ASDA! BURN HIM! BURN THE PEEDO!
(Bazongaloid, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 9:50, Reply)

Vipros
I've no idea about the pigtails but I know where you're coming from. Perhaps it's something to do with pig tails generally being associated with innocence?

:edit: *listens to al* *burns Vipros*
( Captain V, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 9:51, Reply)

I've considered that
not that I'm a paedo, I like boobs too much, and curves, but that it is an innocence thing, and I'm not sure that is the case, because I like them best when coupled with lingerie...

not particularly deviant stuff, but I was pondering where it came from!
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 9:53, Reply)

The pigtails thing is common
Among filthy Peedy McPeeds!!

*readies his torch and pitchfork*
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 9:53, Reply)

@ V
I'll let you off:D

Following on from your women finding gay men attractive post:

At uni, a friend of mine, during a game of truth or dare, dared her boyfriend to snog me with tongues for ten seconds. As two modern men comfortable with our sexualities, we did, and she said that was the hottest thing ever.

She later confided that she really wanted a threesome with me involved but didn't dare broach the subject with him.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 9:53, Reply)

Moaning all
I was working until about 10:30 last night so I was zombied out by the time I got home. It's going to be another long one today. Sigh.

Anyway, how are we all? All bright on this crisp and sunny morning? Has Herr Doktor named his spiny pal yet?

Thoroughly enjoying the lesbian thread.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 11 Dec 2008, 9:54, Reply)

I love snow
I wish we had consistent snow in the England.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 9:56, Reply)

I'm hoping for snow this winter
it looks like we heading that way

hardly ever get any down here because we are too close to the sea, and have a delightfully clement climate in comparison to the rest of the country
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 9:58, Reply)

@BK
You've just put the grin of awesome on my face. It also raises the question. If being heterosexual and comfortable with your sexuality means you're happy to snog a man can the argument be extended to say that if you're comfortable with your sexuality you'd be happy to bum a goat and know it didn't mean anything?

/boggle
( Captain V, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 9:58, Reply)

PJM
I believe that Herr Dok has christened his spiky friend Kaol...
( rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 9:58, Reply)

@ al
Me too, if the country's infrastructure didn't grind to a halt everytime we get slightly inclement weather.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 9:58, Reply)

*gambols in*
good morning darlings!

*stamps snow from feet*

And how are we today?
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 9:59, Reply)

Yup PJM
I have, he's called Lil' Kaol.

I take it that nobody liked my joke then!

Nowt wrong with lesbians in my opinion, but the ones I know all tend to be on the hot side of life!

TULIP *hugs* You get snow then? It was snowing when I left the house this morning, didn't last long though :(
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 9:59, Reply)

it's a strange argument
that being comfortable with your sexuality means you feel happy to snog a bloke.

I'm not knocking it, but I find that being comfortable with mine means that I definitely know I don't want to snog a bloke!

Edit: Herr Dok, I liked it and forwarded it to my usual list of joke recipients
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 10:00, Reply)

@Dok
I liked your joke but by the time I'd read it I felt the conversation had moved too far on to mention it.

:edit: @Vipros I think it's more being comfortable with not minding kissing blokes but knowing you're hetrosexual. *is digging a hole*
( Captain V, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 10:01, Reply)

@ Captain V
Hmm, good question.

I think most things are ok as long as it's concensual, the thing with zoophilia is that it isn't.

Not that I'm at all interested in that!

*maybe too defensive*

Hey Tulip!

*huggles*

No snow this morning?
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 10:01, Reply)

Hmm
Can you be comfortable in your sexuality and NOT want to snog someone of the same sex?
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 10:01, Reply)

Excellent
Here's hoping you post some pics of lil' Kaol.

It's been cold enough to snow for days, but we don't get snow like we used to. I blame the Tories.

*edit* looking further up the thread, the Boss keloid / goat argument falls down because only one of the two would be consensual. If it's consenting adults doing whatever they like and are comfortable in their own skin then it doesn't offend me.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 11 Dec 2008, 10:01, Reply)

oh, you would all be so popular
in prison
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 10:01, Reply)

PJM
didn't you vote for them once?

that must mean it's your fault
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 10:02, Reply)

there's a happy thought
you people frighten me. But it's entertaining. In a disturbing manner.
(darras jeg har en grevling i hodet. Grevling, grevlang, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 10:02, Reply)

I've never voted Tory
Ever. I did vote Labour once though.

*shames*
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 11 Dec 2008, 10:03, Reply)

Lab, Vipros
Aye I reckon you can be comfortable with your sexuality and not want to snog a bloke.

I'm starting to get myself pretty confused with this whole sexuality thing though.

That's NOT to say I'm confused about my sexuality before anybody suggests anything!
( Captain V, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 10:03, Reply)

Vipros
I'm with you on the sexuality side of things, I know what I want, and it isn't a bloke!

PJM I tried to get some pictures last night, but he's a bit shy, and every time the camera shutter went he'd flinch away. I'm going to try it with a quieter camera tonight.

I blame the lack of snow on the atomic testing in the 50's.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 10:05, Reply)

Being comfortable in my sexuality
means I'm happy to give my males friends (well, some of them) hugs and kisses on the cheeks when I haven't seen them for a while.

I don't ever feel the urge to put my tongue in their mouths though. Sometimes their ears.

I did once do a full on tongue snog with a mate of mine in a bar in Cairns, it was a dare after two of our female friends kissed.

They got a round of applause, we were lucky to get out of there without being stabbed.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 10:05, Reply)

V
I was assuming you could be, just wanted to check! I feel pretty damn happy with my sexuality, and I have no desire to ever snog a guy.

Men are stubbly and smell and they press their half-stocks against you.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 10:06, Reply)

sound pretty confused to me Cap'n
;-)

that's ok PJM. we all make mistakes.

Closest I've come to a guy-snog is when I met Kaol...wonder how many people can say the same

edit: Lab, you've hit the nail on the head there, our beards might get tangled too...
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 10:06, Reply)

@ PJM
Sorry, yes, that's what I was trying to get across. Non-consensual is not a good thing.

Sorry, I didn't make that clear.

*edit* @ Lab
Yep, course you can.

It wasn't like I thought, you, I'll have a bit of that.

It just didn't bother me, and I don't find the idea repulsive.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 10:07, Reply)

Too many Vipros
Too many by far!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 10:08, Reply)

being a lady who likes lovely fellows
Means that other ladies hold no interest for me and I have no desire to do naughty things to them.

Boys are much more fun. Boys are full of win.

That is all.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 10:08, Reply)

win spunk
(Bazongaloid, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 10:09, Reply)

Where are these so called 'hot' lesbians you're all talking about...?

Every one I've ever met has been a hideous boiler with a face like a bulldog licking sulphuric acid off a luke-warm stinging nettle.

*cries*


Oh, and 'ningles all!
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Thu 11 Dec 2008, 10:09, Reply)

Time to clear things up
|------------------|---------|---------|

Gay       Bisexual  Me   Straight

( Captain V, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 10:10, Reply)

Morning Mr Flake
How's you?
(Bazongaloid, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 10:10, Reply)

Poof
University is where I met the hot lesbians I know. I also know two pretty bisexual identical twins.

Edit: V, would that make you a Quasi Sexual? Hemi Demi Semi Sexual?
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 10:12, Reply)

I wish I was a lesbian
My experience with men seems to come down to the fact that I always end up with the ones that are broken!

Still, you can't help who you are attracted to and ladies just don't do it for me.

*sads*
(misspiggy In danger of having to get a job, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 10:13, Reply)

Morning Al...!

*hugs and kisses Al*

*Makes Al feel uncomfortable*
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Thu 11 Dec 2008, 10:13, Reply)

mmm, twins
it's too early for these kind of thoughts!

Cap'n V: that's cleared things up, thanks
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 10:13, Reply)

*hugs misspiggy*
I'm sure you'll find a nice unbroken one eventually.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 10:14, Reply)

Poor Pooflake
Sorry to hear that, your time will come, and you will meet the right lesbian for you.

Tulip, boys are nasty, and have cooties. Not me however I'm nice and lovely and cute!

So I've been told.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 10:14, Reply)

You couldn't make
me feel uncomfortable by doing that pooflake. Unless you are referring to the uncomfortable tightness in my pants following your hugs and kisses.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 10:15, Reply)

@ al
the first word I have from you this morning is "spunk"?

Well, I think that just about sums it up.

*scampers back to the other side of dok's island*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 10:21, Reply)

Morning Tulip!

In my defence, no, there is nothing I can add there. You're probably right to run away.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 10:22, Reply)

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
*happy badger dance*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 10:22, Reply)

Mr Nong
*jumps right in to thread*

Speaking also as a lady who likes gentlemen, I find gay men quite attractive. I would venture two theories:
1) the cooking, cleaning, good taste in clothes and decorating thing.
2) we are biologically programmed to want that which is in demand but that which we ourselves cannot have. This has been demonstrated in an experiment involving cookies, and helps to explain why we dump people and then find ourselves inexplicably obsessed by them when they find a new partner.
( warmfuzzies Isn't here, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 10:23, Reply)

TGB
You got the job?

*congratulates just in case*

Just read your sig. Well done oh black, white and furry one.
( Captain V, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 10:23, Reply)

...and we're back...
Sorry for the delay, after reading about Al's 'uncomfortable tightness', I had no alternative but to leg it to the lavs, pull down my clouts and spurt copious amounts of spluffage over the cubicle door.

EDIT: - WOO Badger! - You go girl!

*celebration snogs*
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Thu 11 Dec 2008, 10:25, Reply)

Yay for the badger!
Well done and congrats! *happy hugs*
( warmfuzzies Isn't here, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 10:26, Reply)

Sorry for my absence
I went to the gents and had to unstick myself from the fl... Hi Pooflake!

Edit - congrats on the new job TGB!
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 11 Dec 2008, 10:26, Reply)

Well done TGB!
I take it the ciders are on you next time then? *grins*

What badgery goodness will you be up to then in your new job?

EDIT: Fuzzy - I'll have you know that straight men are just as good at the cooking/cleaning thing (better in fact when I consider the gay friends I have).

You've got me on the dress sense and decorating thing though. Mind - I'm handy with the paintbrushes and the toolbox if someone tells me what they want.
( rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 10:26, Reply)

BADGER!!!!!
You are full of win!

despite not being a boy

*pops champagne*

*huge congratulatory huggles*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 10:27, Reply)

Hooray for badgers!
Well done.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 10:28, Reply)

Well done Badger!
Morning Fuzzy!

You're definitely right about wanting something we cannot have. I've lusted after many a lady who I stood absolutely zero chance with.

Maybe I don't fancy guys because I've always attracted more guys than I have girls.

Nah, I'm still going with the smelly/stubbly/erectiony argument.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 10:28, Reply)

BADGER! WOO & YAY!
Excellent news.

*Glees for Badger*

*HUGS*

Yes Tulip, you come over here, I'll protect you from the bad Al sperm!

EDIT Morning Fuzzy.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 10:28, Reply)

Thanks Guys :)
I am super happy!

It's admin, but also involves travelling to the award shows they do! So expect me to chart where B3tans are and turn up demanding tea :p
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 10:28, Reply)

That would be interesting...

If some clever clogs could create a map where B3tards can click on where they live.

Where's Legless? I bet he could do something like that...
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Thu 11 Dec 2008, 10:31, Reply)

Ah
But did you see the interactive map for petrol prices that was b3ta-ised on the Guardian web pages last year?
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 11 Dec 2008, 10:32, Reply)

You can do
stuff like that with Google earth.

But I wouldn't want to publicise where I live to all and sundry. Obviously some of you know roughly were I live, but I don't want it broadcast from the rooftops.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 10:32, Reply)

I remember
doing something similar with www.frappr.com a while back too. It's pretty good in that it allows you to be relatively imprecise about your location if that's what you want.
( rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 10:36, Reply)

@ Dok
Oh, have you got an enormous umbrella?

Is it spunk-resistant?
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 10:36, Reply)

You're right...

Not exactly where you live - just the general area would do, so a demographic could be made...

I wonder if there are more Northern B3tards than Southern ones kinda thing?
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Thu 11 Dec 2008, 10:36, Reply)

YAY!!!
Congratulations Badger!!!!
(misspiggy In danger of having to get a job, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 10:37, Reply)

@ al
Aha! So you live near some rooftops!

*goes to stalk al*

*fails*

Oh.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 10:38, Reply)

So when do you start then Badger?
Al I know what you mean, but it could just be an area, not an actual address.

I can could the number of people that have my address on the fingers of one hand, everybody can else give me things in person.

EDIT SO that it makes sense!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 10:38, Reply)

I do Tulip, and it is.
You don't need to stalk him. He's over there!

Hi MissP *hugs*

How you doing today?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 10:40, Reply)

I wish somebody would stalk me...
For anyone interested, I live in the green bottle recycling bank at the Cov Tesco.

(ooh, after checking, My non-pun QotW Post seems to be doing well...yay!)

*whores*
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Thu 11 Dec 2008, 10:43, Reply)

I'm already stalking you Pooflake
And I start on the 12 Jan :)
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 10:46, Reply)

Hi Dok
I'm doing ok.
I have tomorrow off for the shopping.
I hate shopping but its better than being at work and there is a big continental market in town.

How are you and the spikey one?
(misspiggy In danger of having to get a job, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 10:46, Reply)

I thought I was stalking you...?

Boy is my face bright red!

(and it's not the only thing!)

*winks*

*runs to doctors*
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Thu 11 Dec 2008, 10:47, Reply)

Poof
I wouldn't worry just yet. She's not starting until 12th January!
( Captain V, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 10:51, Reply)

Good good MissP
I'm ok, and Lil' Kaol is spikey, I'm hoping to be able to show pics of him tomorrow. I hate shopping, but oooh continental market, they may have nice cheeses.

*gets lab coat & Stethoscope*

Mr Pooflake, take a seat, what appears to be the problem today?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 10:52, Reply)

The problem...?

I am Pooflake!

Where do I start?
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Thu 11 Dec 2008, 10:53, Reply)

Ah I see.
Well take two of these.

*offers two lesbians*

And if it's not better come back in the morning!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 10:57, Reply)

*Groans*
Morning all. Today is not a good day. I fell asleep on the sofa last night and awoke at 2am with a crick in my neck. As a result I'm totally knackered and you could now tattoo Dolce and Gabbana under my eyes.

I can't even slope off early as I have an evening meeting later, which is in the middle of nowhere. I will get home at about, ooh, 10 o'clock tonight, if the last meeting is anything to go by.

At least I'll get fed though and the buffet was full of win last time.

Where are my manners - 'grats, Badger!

Did somebody mention hot lesbians?
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 11 Dec 2008, 10:58, Reply)

Hmmm
*develops sudden illness requiring attention from the Doktor*
( Captain V, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 10:59, Reply)

eBayers
Don't you just love them? I ask where the seller lives, so I can pick up the drum kit I just won. Their reply was 'London'.

Cheers fella.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 11:04, Reply)

And you point is lab?
You just go down the M1 until you see the sign that says "London" then ask someone where the guy selling teh drum kit lives, it's not like it's going to take you long to find him, although we call it London Village, it's really more of a hamlet.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 11:07, Reply)

Can I just say that these are all of the win:
www.smokesolution.dk/en/forside/

I wonder if they'd be legal in the UK?
(bill, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 11:09, Reply)

There is that Al
I just fear that the helpful town crier will point me in the direction of the kindly cooper, thinking that by 'drums' I meant of the cask variety.

I don't think I could deal with the confusion and embarrassment.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 11:10, Reply)

That's true Lab
the last thing you want is to be lumbered with a brace of firkins to carry home as well as the drum kit.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 11:15, Reply)

Lesbians
"Faahsands of vem. Wait till yer see ver whites of ver eyes lads."

*momentarily confuses "Lesbians" with "Zulus".
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 11 Dec 2008, 11:19, Reply)

hmph
where are all the other b3taladies?
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 11:21, Reply)

@PJM...

It's an easy mistake to make.

Imagine my disappointment when I bought a copy of 'Zulu'...and waited patiently with my spam javelin at hand...only to be confronted with Michael Caine and his cronies...

(still wanked though)
(Jam Rasta Geordie JMG's Jamaican cousin, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 11:22, Reply)

Herr Doktors Surgery
is open for business!

But for surgery you'll have to wait on my associates!

EDIT Hi DG

Tulip, they're behind you!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 11:24, Reply)

Tight Brown
nice one ;-)
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 11:26, Reply)

I am here, HLT
Although I shouldn't be.

I am off work sick and feel very guilty (even though I am genuinely very sick), so I decided to use my time constuctively.

And yet, here I still am...
( warmfuzzies Isn't here, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 11:27, Reply)

Thanks DG :)

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 11:29, Reply)

I'm poorly too...

Yet I still come to work?

I am a colossal twat.


In fact I haven't been right since about August...Doktor! - More Lesbinnumms please!
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Thu 11 Dec 2008, 11:29, Reply)

hello fuzzy!
sorry to hear you are poorlysick.

*sends feelbetters*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 11:30, Reply)

But Fuzzy
B3ta is constructive! It makes you laugh and as everybody know laughter is the best medicine!

EDIT Mr Pooflake, please be aware that the supply of hot lesbians is limited, but since your need is great, have some more.

Ms Fuzzy, you can have some hot men to come round and look after you as well!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 11:30, Reply)

Fuzzy! Thought you'd gone!
Ok Guys 'n' gals, I'm a bit stumped as to what to do about the James Bond party I'm going to tomorrow.

Now, as far as I'm aware, nobody in any Bond films had a mohawk, so my options for costume are:

a) Just wear a suit and tie. Pretty easy, but boring.

b) Get a white contact lens, and go as Le Chiffre (with mo' laid to one side like an odd side-parting).

c) Modify an old suit jacket with chains, safety pins, and stencil "On Her Majesty's Secret Service" on the back, and "007" on the front, with the 0s replaced by Anarchy Symbols. Voila, Punk Bond.

Your thoughts, if you please.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 11:31, Reply)

@ Lab
can't you get a white bikini and go as Honey Ryder?
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 11:36, Reply)

Thank you
for the feelbetters :)

I am flitting between b3ta, boggle and the motley fool at the moment.

And yes, I personally believe b3ta is constructive... but not as constructive as doing my homework or making things to sell for money (as I will not get paid for this time off).

Ooh ooh actually, you guys could constructively answer a question for me mayhaps? I just got my contract and handbook for my job and one of the clauses says my employer can terminate my contract without notice if I go bankrupt or make arrangements with creditors. This made me panic. Does anyone have experience of this? Do employers often do this?
( warmfuzzies Isn't here, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 11:36, Reply)

LM
Wear white fur and go as Blowfeld's (?) cat.
(misspiggy In danger of having to get a job, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 11:37, Reply)

HLT
I wouldn't wish that sight on anyone!

Fuzzy, it's not a clause I'm familiar with, don't think I have it in my handbook :/

Misspiggy, sadly someone has already thought of that!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 11:38, Reply)

fair enough
and you'd probably get a bit cold!

um... I don't have any more ideas.

*stupids*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 11:43, Reply)

Lab
paint yourself silver and get an Aston Martin badge

or get a fake third nipple, get a gun and paint it gold
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 11:44, Reply)

Fuzzy
It may be a standard clause in your employers contract of employment, but it's not something that I've seen before. If you're curious about it ask the HR people.

Lab I second the Blofeld's pussy!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 11:45, Reply)

O/t questions
Amongst trying to sort payroll for 500 people, I'm trying to shop for xmas pressies for the nuggets (chickenlady's twins).

I thought about getting them a plastic model kit each, as you can get starter sets with paint and glue. Does anyone know any decent online retailers?

*edit* Bonus points if I can get them a Bond Aston and an Alfa Romeo 159.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 11 Dec 2008, 11:46, Reply)

Lab...

Cover your mohawk with a bowler hat.

Bog basic black suit.

Gain about 5 stone.

Go as Oddjob.

(odd) job done
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Thu 11 Dec 2008, 11:47, Reply)

Vipros
I thought Scaramanga too, but acquiring a third nipple at short notice is awkward, plus I'd have to get it out all night anyway.

Might just wear a suit and spray paint a gun gold though.

Pooflake, thanks for saying I'd need to gain weight to be Oddjob ;)
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 11:47, Reply)

Or you could combine Blofelt with Odd Job
and call yourself Oddvelt.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 11 Dec 2008, 11:48, Reply)

PJM
Try ModelZone, can't remember the addy for it sorry. They do all kinds of things model related.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 11:48, Reply)

I can't think of any more bad guys who are easily identifiable
you could go as a tank that shoots fire...
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 11:49, Reply)

@PJM
*spang*

Shurely you mean BloJob
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 11:49, Reply)

I love Oddjob.

( thealternativefact, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 11:50, Reply)

PJM
Surely that should be Blo Job

Edit: You're all too fast for me I guess!
(bill, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 11:50, Reply)

@ Lab...
Just wear what you want, mumble a lot, and be a miserable cunt who looks like you don't want to be there all night ...

And if anybody asks, just say you're Daniel Craig!
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Thu 11 Dec 2008, 11:51, Reply)

Ah, I was being subtle.
Oddvelt has a certain ring to it though.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 11 Dec 2008, 11:52, Reply)

So
Consensus is that Punk Bond is a shit idea?

I'll just look awesome in my normal suit, I'll be drunk anyway!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 11:54, Reply)

I don't think Tulip
really knows what a BloJob is.

She's just repeating words she heard in the playground.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 12:00, Reply)

Lab
I wouldn't worry about the mohawk. I went to a fancy dress party the other week as The Doctor (Tom Baker version) and the last time I looked, he never had a goatee or a mohawk.

Although the mohawk was flattened somewhat by the hat, but still...
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 11 Dec 2008, 12:04, Reply)

Hmm, looks like I nearly got blown up
Maybe I should ask for danger money in the future:

news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/7777312.stm
(bill, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 12:10, Reply)

Bill...
trouble follows him around in a hat and coat.
( thealternativefact, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 12:12, Reply)

@ al
shuuut uuuup, I am not!

I'm going to pelt you with cheesy wotsits again!
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 12:13, Reply)

Oh, is that trouble?
I thought it was just Dok in his owl hat!
(bill, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 12:14, Reply)

@DG
Surely that coveted role is yours for the taking now that David Tennant has handed in his notice? Your particular sartorial elegance lends itself well.

It's time we had a Geordie Dr Who. Or maybe a Dr Why-Aye as a hitherto unknown timelord?

/coat
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 11 Dec 2008, 12:15, Reply)

Bill
You're right there, It's just me in my hat!

*readies Bi-Plane in preperation of AlCheesyWotsitsBeast attack*

EDIT Yeah DG for The Doctor. I want to be The Master myself!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 12:20, Reply)

*cough cough*
I point you in the direction of my profile page...

*pimps*

I could be Doctor Whothefuckareyeelookinat?
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 11 Dec 2008, 12:24, Reply)

That's ace DG

(Bazongaloid, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 12:25, Reply)

*forwards email to BBC Wales*
I'm sold.

Is the world ready for a sweary assistant yet?
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 11 Dec 2008, 12:26, Reply)

DG
Is that the one in Earls Court, because I keep meaning to go get my picture taken with it. But I'd need a cute lady beside me!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 12:27, Reply)

Dok
It's in Edinburgh, so not an authentic BBC model. Taken last new year's day, in fact.

it was raining, oddly enough.

*Billy Connolly mode*

"Of course it was fuckin' raining!"
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 11 Dec 2008, 12:36, Reply)

Well
the next time you're down go to Earls Court Tube, there's a proper one just outside.

I've got a mate who build one and uses it as his garden shed.

DG I've never been in Edinburgh when it hasn't rained!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 12:45, Reply)

I have
but mostly, it's raining.

We're going up again this new year day. Should be fun!
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 11 Dec 2008, 12:49, Reply)

I should be Dr. Who
That'd be great :D
( Cawl, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 12:50, Reply)

Hi Kaol
Nope that's DGs job, you can be the plucky assistant that always gets into trouble. Or my sidekick!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 12:52, Reply)

Well,
I hear that the BBC are interested in turning Kaol Black into a Saturday morning kids TV show.
So I might be busy with that :p
( Cawl, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 12:55, Reply)

Kaol
you'd be a rubbish Doctor Who.

"Exterminate, Exterminate!"

*sounds of knife slashing flurry, cables sparking, hydraulic pump leaks*

It'd just be death. Pure, spiky death.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 12:56, Reply)

Kaol
If that happened it would be fucking AWESOME!

Right off to lunch, back soon!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 12:58, Reply)

Thanks Herr Doktor
Just checking out the giftsets online.

Would be nice to have happy nuggets on xmas day! Bless their little chickeny socks.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 11 Dec 2008, 13:05, Reply)

Today's orange
was considerably nicer than yesterdays.

I am now eating my third packet of mini cheddars. I'm going to be so fat I won't even be able to fit on the plane next week.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 13:06, Reply)

Ah Jim...
*laughs*

You're right...
There wouldn't be any of the "Oh no! They've blocked the frequency of my Sonic Screwdriver"
No... You can't block the frequency of a carbon-steel blade that's sliding between your ribs.

:D
( Cawl, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 13:08, Reply)

*grabs hold of fat Al*
*enjoys*
( thealternativefact, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 13:11, Reply)

*wobbles*

*enjoys it*
(Bazongaloid, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 13:12, Reply)

I can just imagine Doctor Kaol
Opening up his long coat, like a shady man selling watches, to reveal a large selection of sonic stabbers™
( Captain V, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 13:18, Reply)

I got my QOTW!
*grins*

That makes two now!
I'm even more God-like than before :D
( Cawl, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 13:21, Reply)

Kaol,
what, you don't exist?

Blimey! Whose arse do I keep pinching at the bashes, then?
( thealternativefact, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 13:25, Reply)

Mine

(Bazongaloid, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 13:26, Reply)

Not mine Clenders
*disappoints*

Woo for new QOTW.
( Captain V, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 13:27, Reply)

Dunno...
Some drunk guy in a trenchcoat :p
( Cawl, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 13:27, Reply)

Sorry V!
*resolves to be more liberal with arse-pinching*
( thealternativefact, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 13:30, Reply)

Right...
Well I've gotta go now...
Bye!
( Cawl, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 13:40, Reply)

Bye Kaol!
Have fun!
( thealternativefact, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 13:40, Reply)

Ah the lunchtime lull
Sounds like a dance doesn't it?
( Captain V, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 13:49, Reply)

*ahem*
www.b3ta.com/questions/hell/post325578

*pimps*

You may not want to read it if your eating!
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 13:56, Reply)

BK
that's delightful. Nicely written too
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 14:34, Reply)

I can see this QOTW
Turning out to be a good one!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 14:45, Reply)

Blimey!
This is the quietest thread we've ever had.

Are we all getting bored of it?

*cries*
( thealternativefact, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 14:49, Reply)

Drixy
I think everybody is read the QOTW!

So how are you doing?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 14:51, Reply)

And it started so well
We need more talk of lesbians!

I've got a couple of posts in mind for this week although neither are particularly funny. They just detail my lack of respect for myself and others at the time.
( Captain V, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 14:54, Reply)

V
I could post a million, I've posted one so far.

But do I really want to give you lot such an insight into how my mind works! It's not nice in there at times!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 14:56, Reply)

Boss
Are you still here?
Did you read my reply to your reply?

*hopes to clear up confusion*
( warmfuzzies Isn't here, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 14:57, Reply)

I'm not sure I have anything truly hell-worthy.
It's not fair :(

I'll read through them at the weekend and see if anything inspires me to write.

I'm OK Dok - I'm going home very soon! Yay!
( thealternativefact, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 14:58, Reply)

I'm not worried baout exposing my mind
But I am somewhat apprehensive about owning up to some of the things I've done.
( Captain V, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 14:58, Reply)

I'm still here
I was reading the Best Of last week's QotW. I especially like someone's comment about MM "she makes other women look like they were built by the council".

Officelols a-plenty there!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 14:59, Reply)

It's true!
She's fucking lovely.

*hides council-built self behind desk*
( thealternativefact, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 15:05, Reply)

Ah MM
she has a great taste in dogs too.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 11 Dec 2008, 15:08, Reply)

Yay for going home soon
I'm leaving here at 4:30!

I own up to everything I've done. Not proud of some of them, but hey, what can you do!

I just know that one of these days at a bash I'll do something trully hellworthy!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 15:08, Reply)

I'm a right grumpy cunt
and I sent someone a rude message yesterday. Should I apologise to them? I feel slightly guilty. But only slightly, given the length of time they have been a member it was a pretty outrageous mistake to make.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 15:11, Reply)

So do I Dok
When I know the person I'm speaking to is decent and understandings. I could do without lynch mobs though and I'm not sure I fancy the risk of much flaming for a story that's not a funny one.
( Captain V, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 15:11, Reply)

Al
The fact you've posted that question probably means that you think you should. But if you think you're right, why not leave it another day before further action? Just to be sure.
( thealternativefact, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 15:12, Reply)

Mainly
because I don't really want to apologise, but then again, if I don't i'm very much guilty of hypocrisy following my usual stance of "it's the internet, don't get wound up about it". So you're right, I know I should apologise. And probably the sooner the better.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 15:17, Reply)

Hmmm...
you really should only apologise if you mean it though.

If you say sorry and you don't mean it, you'll feel annoyed with yourself afterwards about it.

Not all things can be ignored/let go/accepted just cos they're on the internet, anyway.
( thealternativefact, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 15:18, Reply)

Well
I don't want to apologise, because the person I should apologise to comes across as a twat and should have known better, but my reaction was over the top and I shouldn't have done it.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 15:28, Reply)

Al
Drixy is right, don't do it if you don't mean it!

V, I've got some right nasty ones that I'm not sure would go down very well to be honest!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 15:28, Reply)

Al
Just copy/paste the relevant parts of this thread into a gaz. It's not an apology but it is an acknowledgement of you being a bit OTT.
( Captain V, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 15:29, Reply)

I like V's idea

( thealternativefact, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 15:33, Reply)

Story number 1
Written. I'll post it when it quietens down a little.
( Captain V, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 15:58, Reply)

I just found out
That I'm hear till midnight, Yay 15 hour day!

I hope you all appreciate me when the news is on and you swear about the EU summit before changing the channel!
(bill, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 16:26, Reply)

All You're Bases Are Belong to Me!
*bathes in bases*

Big up, rude dogs!
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 16:42, Reply)

It'll be OK Bill.
Even the EU summit is better than Strictly X Factor.

Thank you for your hard work :)
( thealternativefact, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 16:42, Reply)

Agreed,
Miles better than I'm A Strictly X Celeb!
(bill, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 16:48, Reply)

Nearly home times!
How are all you bummers doing today then?

Whaddid I miss?!
(Colonel Santiago Introduced surprised kitty to the world., Thu 11 Dec 2008, 16:59, Reply)

BTW
Hello to you, Tightly. You OK there, sunshine?

Oh and you Colonel. Hello. It's been pretty quiet here today, really.
( thealternativefact, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 17:00, Reply)

Not
much, just some bumming.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 17:00, Reply)

I'm so depressed and bored

My manager has just left, so I think I might go home and cry myself to sleep.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 17:01, Reply)

Oh Al,
it looked like you were having so much fun on the other thread.
Don't cry.
( thealternativefact, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 17:06, Reply)

I was having fun
But now everyone has gone home. And my job sucks at the moment. And I have to go through it all again tomorrow. And monday. And tuesday.

bleurgh.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 17:08, Reply)

Al,
it's a piece of shit, this working crap. I am doing my level best to win a shit-load of money in order to buy a fully funded home for my favourite b3tans.

Til then, we're stuck here with only Jam Rag for entertainment.
( thealternativefact, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 17:11, Reply)

M'alright thanks!
Y'alright?

I got taken out for lunch today, which was very nice. Yum!

*looks forward to b3ta house, imagines it'll be like some kind of American College Movie*
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 17:13, Reply)

I'm alright.
No one took me out for lunch, but I did have a crafty smoke with Wookiee which was entertainment enough.

The b3ta house - I'd like to think of something filled with creative, busy people having fun and filling the air with the sounds of laughter.

In reality, it's like to be a new level of hell, depraved and with the constant smell of sick hanging in the air.

Kaol will be living in the attic, chained to the wall.
( thealternativefact, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 17:17, Reply)

Right
i'm off home. have good evenings. I think i'm going to a pub quiz.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 17:22, Reply)

*Bagsies on the big room in the b3ta house*
Can we have a cinema?

And a bar?

And a doughnut bakery?
(bill, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 17:23, Reply)

Bye Al
Oh Bill, we're having it all.

I have already ordered a motorised bean-bag to travel around the house in.
( thealternativefact, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 17:27, Reply)

Woot!
Poledancing room?

I promise not too show off too much!
(bill, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 17:33, Reply)

Oh,
but I insist you do!

*plans male pole-dancing competition*

No, not that sort of pole.

Oh, alright then.
( thealternativefact, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 17:37, Reply)

I guess I'd better get practicing then!
What's the prize?
(bill, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 17:52, Reply)

Erm...
you get to wear the Thong of Champions around the house for the rest of the day.
( thealternativefact, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 17:57, Reply)

Oooh!
*Practices*
(bill, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 18:01, Reply)

Oooh!
*watches*
( thealternativefact, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 18:06, Reply)

Hey!
No watching till I've improved!
(bill, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 18:22, Reply)

Oh, OK.
*pretends not to watch any more*
( thealternativefact, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 18:35, Reply)

*Twirls Impressively*
*Crosses ankles, tries to hang upside down and falls off*

Ouch!
(bill, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 18:44, Reply)

*mends Bill*
*drags him off to the new evening thread*
( thealternativefact, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 18:44, Reply)