An Open Letter To JMG

You swine. You vulgar little maggot. You worthless bag of filth. I'll bet
you couldn't pour piss out of a boot with instructions on the heel. You are a canker. A sore that won't go away. I would rather kiss a lawyer than be seen with you.

You're a putrescent mass, a walking vomit. You are a spineless little worm deserving nothing but the profoundest contempt. You are a jerk,
a cad, a weasel. Your life is a monument to stupidity. You are a stench, a revulsion, a big suck on a sour lemon.

You are a bleating foal, a curdled staggering mutant dwarf smeared richly with the effluvia and offal accompanying your alleged birth into this world. An insensate, blinking calf,meaningful to nobody, abandoned by the puke-drooling, giggling beasts who sired you and then killed themselves in recognition of what they had done.

I will never get over the embarrassment of belonging to the same species as you. You are a monster, an ogre, a malformity. I puke at the very thought of you. You have all the appeal of a paper cut. Lepers avoid you. You are vile, worthless, less than nothing. You are a weed, a fungus, the dregs of this earth. And did I mention you smell?

Try to edit your responses of unnecessary material before attempting to impress us with your insight. The evidence that you are a nincompoop will still be available to readers, but they will be able to access it more rapidly.

You snail-skulled little rabbit. Would that a hawk pick you up, drive its beak into your brain, and upon finding it rancid set you loose to fly briefly before spattering the ocean rocks with the frothy pink shame of your ignoble blood. May you choke on the queasy, convulsing nausea of your own trite, foolish beliefs.

You are weary, stale, flat and unprofitable. You are grimy, squalid, nasty and profane. You are foul and disgusting. You're a fool, an ignoramus. Monkeys look down on you. Even sheep won't have sex with you. You are unreservedly pathetic, starved for attention, and lost in a land that reality forgot.

And what meaning do you expect your delusion ally self-important statements of unknowing, inexperienced opinion to have with us? What fantasy do you hold that you would believe that your tiny-fisted tantrums would
have more weight than that of a leprous desert rat, spinning rabidly in a circle, waiting for the bite of the snake?

You are a waste of flesh. You have no rhythm. You are ridiculous and obnoxious. You are the moral equivalent of a leech. You are a living
emptiness, a meaningless void. You are sour and senile. You are a disease, you puerile one-handed slack-jawed drooling meatslapper.

On a good day you're a half-wit. You remind me of drool. You are deficient in all that lends character. You have the personality of wallpaper. You are dank and filthy. You are asinine and benighted. You are the source of all unpleasantness. You spread misery and sorrow wherever you go.

You smarmy lagerlout git. You bloody woofter sod. Bugger off, pillock. You grotty wanking oik artless base-court apple-john. You clouted boggish foot-licking twit. You dankish clack-dish plonker. You gormless crook-pated tosser. You churlish boil-brained clotpole ponce. You cockered bum-bailey poofter. You craven dewberry pisshead cockup pratting naff. You gob-kissing gleeking flap-mouthed coxcomb.
You dread-bolted fobbing beef-witted flapper-clawed flirt-gill.

You are a fiend and a coward, and you have bad breath. You are degenerate, noxious and depraved. I feel debased just for knowing you exist. I despise everything about you, and I wish you would go away.

I cannot believe how incredibly stupid you are. I mean rock-hard stupid. Dehydrated-rock-hard stupid. Stupid so stupid that it goes way beyond the stupid we know into a whole different dimension of stupid. You are
trans-stupid stupid. Meta-stupid. Stupid collapsed on itself so far that even the neutrons have collapsed. Stupid gotten so dense that no intellect can escape. Singularity stupid. Blazing hot mid-day sun on Mercury stupid. You emit more stupid in one second than our entire galaxy emits in a year. Quasar stupid. Your writing has to be a troll. Nothing in our universe can really be this stupid. Perhaps this is some primordial fragment from the original big bang of stupid.
Some pure essence of a stupid so uncontaminated by anything else as to be beyond the laws of physics that we know. I'm sorry. I can't go on.

This is an epiphany of stupid for me. After this, you may not hear from me again for a while. I don't have enough strength left to deride your ignorant questions and half baked comments about unimportant trivia, or any of the rest of this drivel. Duh.

The only thing worse than your logic is your manners. I have snipped away most of your of what you wrote, because, well... it didn't really say anything. Your attempt at constructing a creative flame was pitiful.
I mean, really, stringing together a bunch of insults among a load of babbling was hardly effective... Maybe later in life, after you have learned to read, write, spell, and count, you will have more success.

True, these are rudimentary skills that many of us "normal" people take for granted that everyone has an easy time of mastering. But we sometimes forget that there are "challenged" persons in this world who find these things more difficult. If I had known, that this was your case then I would have never read your post. It just wouldn't have been "right". Sort of like parking in a handicap space.I wish you the best of luck in the emotional, and social struggles that seem to be placing such a demand on you.

Cheers
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 5:00, 127 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I'd like to nominate this post as possibly the shittest thing ever to appear on b3ta

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 5:06, Reply)

I accept...

( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 5:11, Reply)

And in one fell swoop, JMG wins the internet
Well done chaps, lets go home. Pack away your belongings, the last train's at 11.
( Theoban What of it, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 5:26, Reply)

Congratulations
on your ability to copy and paste a page of insults into a text box. Awesome skills. Your mummy will be terribly proud when the sailors read it aloud to her.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 5:27, Reply)

I'm
Glad you approve.

I don't what I'd do if you hadn't liked it.

Must go and tell mummy......
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 5:31, Reply)

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 7:04, Reply)

I can almost sense the sexual tension that led to the ejaculation during the last paragraph.
Seriously - if you take JMG this seriously then you need to get off the internet and get some fresh air.
( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Fri 12 Dec 2008, 7:41, Reply)

Now
what on Earth makes you think I take JMG, or any /talker for that matter, seriously? I mean, nobody else does.


Cheers
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 7:49, Reply)

.
I'm confused?
(darras jeg har en grevling i hodet. Grevling, grevlang, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 8:07, Reply)

ooo, someone's mentioned JMG or another /talker
they must be fat, having a "wobble" and take the internet too seriously...

for fuck's sake, yes there may be a few people on here who take the internet seriously but do you really think that most of the regulars to a site like this will do so?

everytime I read the ridiculous retorts and arguments that you boring bunch lay on us I can barely stop my eyes rolling.

I couldn't give a fuck if you read this or not, but for christ's sake if you are going to troll us or post nonsense at least have the wit, the originality or the common courtesy to not just repeat yourselves over and over and over and over again.

yes, we're all fat virgins who can't talk to girls and spend all day and night on the internet and we need to get out more into something called the "real world"

happy?

now get funny, get interesting or fuck off
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 8:38, Reply)

QOTW need a front page for this kind of thing :-)
Beautifully put, Legless.

Anyone who can't see how far Legless' tongue was wedged into his cheek during this vitriol should probably be trading one-liners on /talk ;-)

Slack-jawed drooling meatslapper. That's not playing fair: Now my keyboard's full of coffee...
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 8:53, Reply)

I've enjoyed the exchanges.
More for the wit displayed by QOTWers though. Jamrag has had some inspired moments though. Hasn't he? Oh, sorry...........
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Fri 12 Dec 2008, 8:58, Reply)

No, Porkylips, he hasn't
his responses rarely extend beyond 'you're fat, I'm superior etc etc etc' I don't think he could be more tedious if he tried.

He's only the second person I've even considered putting on ignore.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 9:00, Reply)

he is tremendously dull
at least he writes more than just boring nonsense though, which is more than could be said of most of the /talkers who troll here.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 9:05, Reply)

MrOli
the front page for this is here.

As for JMG, I can forgive him a lot for his reply here. It's one of my favourite posts on b3ta, easily amused as I am.

Now, do all please carry on with your 'flame war'.
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 9:13, Reply)

My goodness
you really are easily amused. He made a "pun", or play on words, where he substituted the word "fiat" for the word "riot" and you think it's the funniest thing on this website?

Can I suggest you either read more of this site, there is a lot of very funny stuff on it you know, or, just go and watch "two pints of lager and a packet of crisps" as it's probably more your level. You might want to get your mum to explain some of the jokes though.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 9:20, Reply)

You Sir Legless
are a genius!

I wish I could have said that half as well as you!

Bravo.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 9:22, Reply)

Flame war?
No no, I think you misunderstand the atmosphere here: QOTW is the office Christmas party and Jizzmeister Goodie is showing us his breakdancing.
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 9:22, Reply)

Bad form
Legless, you're bang out of order!!



Everyone knows that on the QOTW board, you put a couple of lines as the main post and then the rest of the text as the first reply in order to not clog up the board ;)
( SeasonTicketless is too often the statue, and rarely the pigeon., Fri 12 Dec 2008, 9:26, Reply)

I’m sorry Legless, my friend, but I’m going to have to pull you up on something here…

‘Boggish’? as in ‘like a bog’?

My bog has a use. JMG doesn’t.

Other than that, though, you’re spot-on.

(Actually, if you mean ‘Boggish’ like ‘wet, spongy, crap-like soil composed mainly of decayed vegetable matter’. Then you’re right on that point too).

I realise I’m being counterproductive to my own argument here, but all that Jamrag Cuntcake and his cronies try to do is cry for attention.

Like us all.

We don’t have to ignore, but we also don’t have to respond. By not responding, he doesn’t get the attention he so desperately craves. We therefore take his validation away.

It’s difficult sometimes for me not to ‘rise to the bait’, but I’ve made a conscious effort to stop responding to every wind-up attempt that he tries.

If we don’t reply…he’ll go away.

And we win. Instead of him.
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Fri 12 Dec 2008, 9:29, Reply)

But I
CAN'T ignore him, Pooflake.

I want to grind his face into the concrete and shit on his mother.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 9:33, Reply)

Mmmmmm
I want to grind your face into the concrete and shit on you. You filthy whore, you love it.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 9:34, Reply)

I want to grind his face into his mother and shit on the concrete
But I'll watch you go first. We'll take turns. Then go home for icecream. Mmmmm, icecream.
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 9:35, Reply)

Ain't no young upstart
taking my man home for ice cream bitch! You better back off girlfriend you know what's good for you.

Mmmmm-Hmmm!

*moves head sideways will waggling hand*
(Bazongaloid, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 9:37, Reply)

Don't worry al
I'd never cheat on my big, strong man.

*gazzes MrOli his phone number*
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 9:40, Reply)

My oh *my*
*fans face*

Ah do declare this fellah be sweet on me!

Ah'd best get me down the shops to stock up on Martha's Minty Mimsy Spray. Ah have me a just the handsomest suitor!
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 9:44, Reply)

Bring it, Bitch
I'll kick yo lilly white ass so hard you'll be wearing lipstick on yo eyebrows for a month, mmmm-hmmmm?
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 9:41, Reply)

But you just know
he has a tiny and barely functioning willy.
(GloriaHull you puerile slack-jawed drooling meatslapper, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 9:31, Reply)

*looks at own willy*
There's nothing wrong with that
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 9:41, Reply)

Just ignore him.
He's like the Candyman.

The more you talk about him, the stronger he gets.
( girlinthehole, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 9:40, Reply)

Candyman! Candyman! Candyman! Candyman! Candyman!

*waits*




What's this hook doing sticking out of my stomach?
(Bazongaloid, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 9:42, Reply)

Who?

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 9:42, Reply)

Hmmmm
Mrs Monkeysex has really let herself go hasn't she.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 9:44, Reply)

Season
First I've heard of it. But, admittedly, I don't hang around here much. Only stopped by as I heard you had a troll problem and I thought I'd troll the trolls.

To clear up a couple of things. My original post isn't my own work - it's a cut'n'paste of one of my previous QOTW answers where I had the disclaimer that it wasn't my work. Wish it was though.

Still, I thought it was apt for JMG so trotted it out.

And didn't it do the trick. The ankle-biters from /talk were on it like a flash. They really don't like it when you take the piss out of one of their "heroes".

Mind, how they can worship a fat, spotty 27 year old who lives with his mum and spends waaaay to much time playing his x-box, is beyond me. You should see his gamer card. Judging by the number of games he has played divided by the time since the game came out he must spend most of his waking hours glued to his fucking x-box. Sad twat.

Cheers
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 9:44, Reply)

cor you showed him with your words
lives with his mum
xbox

ICEBURNS
(hot white cum, YEAH! i will show you 0wnage in a handful of posts, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 9:56, Reply)

cor you showed him with your wordsm
(Bazongaloid, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 10:01, Reply)

That goes for a lot of the trollers on /talk
if you look at how many posts they have compared to how long they have been members.

heh heh heh, I said members.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 9:45, Reply)

oh, internet
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

cheers
(hot white cum, YEAH! i will show you 0wnage in a handful of posts, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 9:47, Reply)

Why did you have to go and spoil it
you posted a really funny story in last weeks QOTW and then you go all lame-o with this.

3/10 Should try harder.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 9:51, Reply)

i post here
i post there
i post everywhere

it doesnt mean that legless hasn't taken JMG, b3ta and the whole of the internet far too seriously
(hot white cum, YEAH! i will show you 0wnage in a handful of posts, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 9:54, Reply)

I take your mum
far too seriously.

Up the bum.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 9:55, Reply)

Oh this ones rubbish
at least JMG responds to our insults. This one's just a bit crap and broken.

New trolls please!
(Bazongaloid, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 10:04, Reply)

srspst
You just don't get JMG. It's funnier for all concerned to roll with him, rather than against him.

He never lets the mask slip and so literally everything you do plays into his hands.

JMG 4 QOTW MOD
(hot white cum, YEAH! i will show you 0wnage in a handful of posts, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 17:51, Reply)

come now
legless doesn't take anything seriously, I would've thought that plainly obvious

and yet again you trot out the same tired response...
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 10:14, Reply)

^ He's a happy chappy.
.
( girlinthehole, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 9:51, Reply)

Are you a happy chapess BGB?

(Bazongaloid, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 9:53, Reply)

No I'm not Al.
I have the lurgy and want to die.
( girlinthehole, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 9:55, Reply)

That sounds poo
I hope you feel better this weekend.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 10:02, Reply)

Haha
MrOli - excellent analogy.

allthegeordie - different strokes for different folks, no?

Now, I'm clearly a noob here - how do you reply to posts directly?
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 10:10, Reply)

Such skills are not
just tossed out to anyone grasshopper. First you must prove you can focus your powers correctly.

Or you could ask JMG, if you can get the cock out of his mouth long enough for him to respond of course.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 10:13, Reply)

He said "mmmph mmph mmmmmmppphh"
I think this is what he meant.
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 10:18, Reply)

Yeah
close enough I guess.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 10:29, Reply)

Something about clicking Reply
then entering a six digit number. I dunno.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 10:15, Reply)

Duh! - Everybody knows how to do that, Divvie!

(thanks to Althegeordie for showing me how to do it about 5 minutes ago...)

Flapjack - I will gaz you :)
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Fri 12 Dec 2008, 10:15, Reply)

@Bert
Sorry, that was exactly my point.
I'll try not to be so obtuse next time I attempt irony (must practice more). : )
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Fri 12 Dec 2008, 10:20, Reply)

No problem
I forgive you. I should have picked up on the irony really, nobody could actually admire that waste of flesh.

So.... fancy some man-loving?
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 10:22, Reply)

YOU FUCKING DEVIANT SLAG!
HOW YOU CAN JUST RUB IT IN MY FACE LIKE THAT!

AT LEAST GO TO ANOTHER BOARD YOU FILTHY PIG!

THATS IT BERT, IT'S OVER BETWEEN US, I'M NOT JUST SOME CHEAP PIECE OF MEAT YOU CAN PICK UP AND PUT DOWN WHEN IT SUITS YOU!

*bursts into tears*

*runs out crying*
(Bazongaloid, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 10:25, Reply)

Oh, Al...don't be like that...

Forgive him.

Think of the 'Make-up sex'
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Fri 12 Dec 2008, 10:30, Reply)

I can't do that Herr Lake
Things haven't been right for a while now. He's off with other men all the time. I don't think his heart is really into it.

*drinks cheap white wine*

*smears mascara all over face*
(Bazongaloid, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 10:37, Reply)

I can't help it al
I'm a slut, but you'll be back, you always come back.

You'll be crying on my doorstep wearing your suspender belt and rain coat, on your knees, begging to feel my cock between your cheeks again, and you know I'll always be happy to oblige, until the morning, when I cast you out into the cold streets again without so much as a weetobix in your belly, and prepare myself for my next victim.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 10:47, Reply)

Right, that's got rid of him
Now, Bert, kneel down and undo Porky's fly

*flicks open knife*

Right now, Bert, please.
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 10:36, Reply)

You mean like this?
*kneels*

*unzips fly*

*opens mouth*

*moves slowly forward*

*gobbles hungrily*
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 10:48, Reply)

Wow. I didn't need the knife, did I!
I do apologise Sir, I had no idea you were so accomodating. Such skills, such enthusiasm!

Queue behind me, I'm feeling heavy :-)
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 10:56, Reply)

No problem, Mr
I aim to please, and you should always aim for the eyes, that's where I like it best.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 10:58, Reply)

Oh Bert!!
You truly are a miracle worker. "Rise Lazarus" he said. So I picked up my pallyass.....
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Fri 12 Dec 2008, 11:26, Reply)

"I would rather kiss a lawyer than be seen with you"
i still find this remark highly objectionable.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 11:14, Reply)

Doesn't mean those things aren't a long way apart on his scale
Maybe he'd also rather kiss a lawyer than eat chocolate, fudgecake and icecream mixed up in a big bowl.

I wouldn't, but that's only because I REEEEEEEEEEEAAAALLY like fudgecake :-)
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 11:21, Reply)

I wouldn't, but that's only because I REEEEEEEEEEEAAAALLY like fudgecake :-)
I find this remark highly objectionable.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 11:40, Reply)

So given the choice
between you and fudgecake you're upset that he prefers the fudgecake?

Don't worry swipey, I'd choose you everytime.

Unless it had marshmallows and ice cream on top.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 11:46, Reply)

Fudgecake is pure win
On Tuesday my Mrs bought me a big fat steak and I had choclate fudge cake for afters and then we did it in the toilets of Costa Coffee. It was great.

She's going to be a lawyer too someday, they're all the same. Absolute filth.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 11:47, Reply)

But but but...
It's FUDGECAKE! Fudgecake! I mean, like, seriously fudgy chocolatey cake. With soft butter icing. AND a birthday candle.

Are you telling me you'd rather kiss a lawyer than eat iced birthday fudgecake?
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 11:48, Reply)

that is no excuse
when you could put the marshmallows and whipped cream on me .

or bert's monkeypenis, whichever. i wouldn't be offended if you chose that over me. i know when i can't compete.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 11:48, Reply)

@ mr oli
yes! i loathe fudgecake, it's too rich and sickly and overbearing.

whereas lawyers, of course, are nothing of the sort!!!!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 11:49, Reply)

I'm so proud
Surely nobody actually thinks my monkey penis is sexier than the 'swipe?

Except maybe al, but that's a given.

Why would we ever have to choose? Why can't we all have the lovely Ms Swipe all covered in gooey chocolate fudge cake, ice cream and marshmallows?
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 11:52, Reply)

I hadn't actually considered
the other option.

In which case, I will have one rachelswipe with the marshmallow and ice cream topping to go please.

And a side order of monkeycock.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 11:53, Reply)

al-bert
because i would have eaten it all before you got close! ninja tongue.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 11:55, Reply)

*comes at you from the side*
You want prawn crackers with that?

EDIT rachelswipe your vagina has a tongue? That'll be useful.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 11:55, Reply)

Clearly, a vagina with taste!
More of these please :-)
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 11:57, Reply)

yes
i had it specially implanted in thailand!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 12:02, Reply)

So essentially what we need Bert
is some sort of table with restraints onto which we can tie Ms Swipe to stop her consuming all teh marshmallows and ice cream.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 12:03, Reply)

al
you keep your dirty S&M ways to yourself.

We'll leave her to roam free, she can use her hands, feet, mouth, front bottom, and her vagina-tongue to sort us all out at once.

I'm imagining her rimming my anus as I take her from behind as we speak. S'nice.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 12:05, Reply)

That's an awesome
mind image there Bert.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 12:08, Reply)

i feel
that i have started something that i cannot finish.

/"W" blog
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 12:22, Reply)

Not as awesome as it would be
if you were there too, her mouth tongue lapping at your balls as we both high-five each other and change ends at half time.

EDIT come now Rachel, you know you can take us both. You're a real woman, a liberated female, you don't let society judge you by your actions. It's perfectly ok for you to meet a couple of strangers sex pests off the internet; one of which is geordie, the other part simian, have your wicked way with us both, and then leave, going home with nothing more than the crusty stains on the front of your Jane Norman underpants as evidence that any of it did in fact, ever happen.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 12:22, Reply)

This...
...is the funniest thing I have seen on the internet. Ever.

Al, Bert and Rachelswipe I salute you all for finishing a hearty and hilarious main course with a fruity and mirthsome dessert.

Excuse my florid metaphor.

*goes back to laughing uncontrollably*
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Fri 12 Dec 2008, 12:24, Reply)

PJM
is it wrong that I REALLY want to be french-kissed by r'swipe's vagina-tongue?
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 12:31, Reply)

It's not wrong Bert
It's so right in so many, many ways that I've actually got something of a lob on just thinking about it.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 12:33, Reply)

One pictures la swipe...
...bashing her head on the keyboard in a fit of laughter.

It's not wrong Bert. What two consenting adults do with vagina tongues is entirely acceptable.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Fri 12 Dec 2008, 12:34, Reply)

PJ
I can imagine the swipester bashing that keyboard over my head for writing such incorrigable filth about her. I'm a bad person.

al, pictures or it didn't happen.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 12:37, Reply)

okay

(Bazongaloid, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 12:40, Reply)

Phwoar
:O
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 12:43, Reply)

While I think Legless's diatribe is commendable.
I think John Cooper Clarke can put it more succinctly.

Like a Night Club in the morning, you’re the bitter end.
Like a recently disinfected shit-house, you’re clean round the bend.
You give me the horrors
too bad to be true
All of my tomorrow’s
are lousy coz of you.
You put the Shat in Shatter
Put the Pain in Spain
Your germs are splattered about
Your face is just a stain

You’re certainly no raver, commonly known as a drag.
Do us all a favour, here... wear this polythene bag.

You’re like a dose of scabies,
I’ve got you under my skin.
You make life a fairy tale... Grimm!

People mention murder, the moment you arrive.
I’d consider killing you if I thought you were alive.
You’ve got this slippery quality,
it makes me think of phlegm,
and a dual personality
I hate both of them.

Your bad breath, vamps disease, destruction, and decay.
Please, please, please, please, take yourself away.
Like a death a birthday party,
you ruin all the fun.
Like a sucked and spat our smartie,
you’re no use to anyone.
Like the shadow of the guillotine
on a dead consumptive’s face.
Speaking as an outsider,
what do you think of the human race

You went to a progressive psychiatrist.
He recommended suicide...
before scratching your bad name off his list,
and pointing the way outside.

You hear laughter breaking through, it makes you want to fart.
You’re heading for a breakdown,
better pull yourself apart.

Your dirty name gets passed about when something goes amiss.
Your attitudes are platitudes,
just make me wanna piss.

What kind of creature bore you
Was is some kind of bat
They can’t find a good word for you,
but I can...
TWAT.
( girlinthehole, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 12:41, Reply)

that picture
is making me laugh like a spastic or "giggle like a happy mong" as humpty would say!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 12:42, Reply)

BGB
I clicked 'I like this' on your post, but it doesn't do anything.

This makes me sad.

Al, what is it you're running from in that recently taken photograph?
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 12:44, Reply)

Big Girls Blouse has put the icing on the cake.
Online.

Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant.
(GloriaHull you puerile slack-jawed drooling meatslapper, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 12:46, Reply)

@ Blouse
Yes, I was thinking of Mr. Clarke while reading Legless' post.

You beat me too it though:)
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 12:52, Reply)

@Bert
I'm not running from, I'm running to. I had just seen an old lady fall over and the wind had blow her skirt up and her shopping was rolling around on the pavement so I was on my way to give her one up the chocolate chute and steal her corned beef.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 13:08, Reply)

"Steal her corned beef"..?
I've never heard it called that before!
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 13:10, Reply)

What, you've never heard
the act of removing tins of corned beef from the possession of an old lady without her permission having just violated her back passage, described as "stealing her corned beef"
(Bazongaloid, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 13:21, Reply)

I'll steal /your/ corned beef
;-)
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 13:34, Reply)

NO!
Bad MrOli!

*smack with rolled up newspaper*

No-one gets my corned beef.

*noms all the corned beef*
(Bazongaloid, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 13:37, Reply)

Was that tasty, Al? Was it? Mmmm, I'll bet it was...
*whistles innocently*
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 13:44, Reply)

al
sure loves his corned meat-based by products.

I want to make babies with his face and horde dolphin-friendly corned beef with him.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 14:03, Reply)

How great would it be
to be waving your raging monkeycock in front of my face while I'm busy orally satisfying swipeys betongued vagina which in turn is flicking all over your man meat until we all explode in desperate burst of bodily fluids.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 14:13, Reply)

Hnnnnnnnngggggggghhhhh!!!!
I've just come in my pants, cheers al.

Now come here, so I can spaff in yours too.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 14:16, Reply)

Pmsl
You know how to defile a threat.

*amused*
(GloriaHull you puerile slack-jawed drooling meatslapper, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 14:17, Reply)

Pffft
Gloria, I just got your username, it sounds a bit like Glory Hole.

Wakkawakkawakka.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 14:19, Reply)

You know you're gonna have to wear those all day now, don't you?
That everytime you move, Al's juices are going to ooze out just a little bit? That one little cough and your leg will be soaked?

Oh you do? That's ok then. Just checking...
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 14:22, Reply)

I like that cold
clammy feeling, it makes me feel used.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 14:26, Reply)

Took long enough Mr Monkeysex
What's this about vagina tongues?
(GloriaHull you puerile slack-jawed drooling meatslapper, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 14:27, Reply)

I've only just got that
So presumably now we all have to stick our engorged cocks through you while anonymous people suck us off.

Baggsy Bert starts with the cock thrusting and I'll do the sucking off.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 14:29, Reply)

Gloria
rachelswipe has a vagina tongue, I've seen* it.

Woohoo! I get to stick my cock right through a lady, into al! All of my greatest fantasies have come true! Right Mrs, where do you want it?

*haven't
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 14:38, Reply)

What I'm going to do, is tell you my favourite colour, which is BLUE.
It may be all I have to do to make somebody on here have a public falling out with me.
:(



This is doing NOTHING for my ego.
On the internet.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 12 Dec 2008, 15:23, Reply)

Oh you lame-o
Why turn up, tantalise our internet tastebuds and then dissapear again.

On the internet.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 15:48, Reply)

But how do
you feel about vaginatongues? That's what we really want to know.

Please tell us?
(Bazongaloid, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 15:26, Reply)

Hahahah!
Superb.
Now tell us all you don't care about him.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 15:31, Reply)

blue?
BLUE!


AAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 15:31, Reply)

But I do care about JMG
I'm scared he might one day get upset by the abuse and never come back. But most of all i'm scared that he doesn't like vaginatongues.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 15:32, Reply)

JMG! JMG! JMG!
*drums*

Where have you been all day? I've missed you. Sit down, have a nice cup of tea.

How are you, Sir? Keeping well, I trust.

How's your Mum? Recovered from that nasty bout of tonsillitis yet?

Poor girl, her tonsils were like beachballs the other day. She got very scared I was going to drown her. But it felt soooooo good.
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 15:40, Reply)

This truly is the gift that keeps on giving.
Online. I'm so happy I'm going to put on weight.
(GloriaHull you puerile slack-jawed drooling meatslapper, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 15:51, Reply)

Glori-ah
You make me want to have sex with you, the bad way.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 15:58, Reply)

Listerines vagina-tongue
*gargle*
(GloriaHull you puerile slack-jawed drooling meatslapper, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 16:01, Reply)

You'll need to find some way
to arse-gargle, for the way I want to do you, missy.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 16:02, Reply)

Mister Monkeysex!
Where do you get your energy from? First althegeordie, then Ms Swipe. Then althegeordie again.

I'm surprised you're up to it.
(GloriaHull you puerile slack-jawed drooling meatslapper, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 16:06, Reply)

Bert is up to it
right now with me.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 16:07, Reply)

I can't help it
I'm a maniac, MANIAC.

I tells yer. Seriously though, 11 times in one night with my Mrs last year. I'm never going to stop going on about that.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 16:12, Reply)

That's an impressive
number.

You must have eaten a lot of chilli to get the runs that bad.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 16:22, Reply)