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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)

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Red Dwarf coming back eh?
news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/entertainment/7851989.stm

Morning folks.

(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 8:28, 218 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I hope they don't ruin it
by turning the characters into caricatures of themselves like they did with the Royle Family.
(

sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 8:33, Reply)

Did you not see the last two series?
It tailed off for me after series six. I'm not hopeful about this reunion.
(

Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 8:40, Reply)

Im with No3l
on this one. Season seven was such a disappointment! So its probably best if they dont bring it back. Wasn't there talk of a red dwarf film at some point a few years ago?
(darras jeg har en grevling i hodet. Grevling, grevlang, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 8:42, Reply)

there was talk of a film
the small mercy with this is that it's only for a couple of episodes.
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 8:46, Reply)

I'm keeping my fingers crossed
and I'll watch it. I don't expect too much. Then again, I did know every single line and intonation of the first six series... maybe I'm just Dwarved out.
(

Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 8:49, Reply)

I don't get what they are talking about
with the "no holds barred" episode.

no sets, no autocues etc.

without a set it will just seem ridiculous
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 8:52, Reply)

Morning
Well they do have the original writers doing it, so it might be OK.

I think the 'No Holds Barred' one could be done, but only if you do it out and about on the streets of a small town.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 8:59, Reply)

Looks like I'll have to get somebody to record it
Or carry a telly around Edinburgh!

I'm excited but not too hopeful seeing as the stuff Doug Naylor wrote alone wasn't all that great. Still, if this prompts me to re-watch a load of the earlier episodes that's a good enough start for me. Might even pull the books out again...
(

Captain V, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 9:01, Reply)

Morning.
Good to see you back V. Have snow-related fun?
(

Cawl, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 9:16, Reply)

Lots of it thanks
A 7ft snow penis was the highlight of my last day.
(

Captain V, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 9:18, Reply)

Tis very quiet today
*runs arouns loudly*
HELLO EVERYONE!
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 9:19, Reply)

Photo.
Right now!
(

Cawl, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 9:19, Reply)

It's not available to me at work
Although a colleague has kindly drawn a picture of me standing with my arm around it.

Remind me when I'm at home and I'll post one. Trying to recover the other photos/videos from my friend's SD card atm. Unfortunately the majority of the photos we took were with his camera =/
(

Captain V, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 9:23, Reply)

I'm bored now
I've done all my work for the week and am sitting making lots of little wax balls!

I'm going to design a futuristic set of earphones later.

What else can I do to keep myself occupied?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 9:25, Reply)

You could sort out my SD card for me
Or make me a sandwich!
(

Captain V, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 9:27, Reply)

Shame!
Well, post it when you can!

Today my plans include:
1) Eating an orange.
2) Checking the system specs of every computer we have here.
3) Maybe firing a temp if I get bored.
(

Cawl, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 9:27, Reply)

Morning all!
It's a fine morning here, I have my hand in for today finished, and our heating didn't make worrying noises this morning, waking me up at 6am. Yays!

My plans for today:
- Go into uni
- Hand in report
- Sit in lecture, try and pay attention
- Come home

It's going to be quite the day.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 9:35, Reply)

Kaol
Could you send me a pencil, this office doesn't see fit to supply them!

V, if I had the SD card I'd give it a go.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 9:35, Reply)

Morning folks
Anyone got any interesting plans today? I'm bored and need inspiration. All this free time is killing me!
(weekirst23 Is broken! Silly ice. Silly High heels!, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 9:37, Reply)

No.
I've only got one pencil, and I have to hide it, or it'll get stolen.
I'm thinking about covering it in contact poison and wearing gloves.
(

Cawl, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 9:38, Reply)

Where are my hello hugs?
*sad face*
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 9:39, Reply)

Morning Weekirst
Kaol, that sounds like a good plan, I've just managed to nick one from a workmate, who had a drawerful!

EDIT I didn't see you Badger.

Hello

*HUGS & SNOGS*
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 9:40, Reply)

HELLO BADGER
HERE ARE SOME HUGS *HUGS*

HOPE YOU ARE VERY WELL AND HAPPY AND NOT SAD ANYMORE AND THAT YOU'RE HAPPY.
(

Captain V, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 9:41, Reply)

Hmm
your hugs feel very fake V. You are probably going to choose skiing over me so you really need to be working harder to make it up to me.

*hugs Dok*
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 9:42, Reply)

Alright you sexual geese.
I have to spend lots of money on trains and insurance today.

I also have to do lots of things I can't be fucking bothered to. I need a secretary. If anyone would like to apply for this position I can pay you in cups of tea (or if captain V wants to apply he can have ribena because he doesn't like hot drinks...See I remembered) and cakes.
(

wanderlust, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 9:45, Reply)

Well nothing has really happened yet
Other than my friend telling me we can get £10 (plus taxes) return flights to a resort in the French Pyrenees that do 6 day lift passes for under £100.

It's too good not to consider!

:edit: Wow lusty. What a memory! *snogs*
(

Captain V, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 9:46, Reply)

Whatever
*sulks*

*snogs Lusty*
*feels a little better*
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 9:47, Reply)

I'm sorry TGB
How can I make it up to you?

I'm free for significant parts of this weekend if you fancy some angry make up sex.
(

Captain V, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 9:50, Reply)

Are you now, V?
*cracks knuckles*
(

Cawl, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 9:51, Reply)

Hi Lusty
Would the position involve typing? Because I'm not very good at that!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 9:52, Reply)

*excites*

(

Captain V, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 9:53, Reply)

@Captain V
You seem to like angry sex quite a lot.

Is that because it's the best kind of sex?
(

wanderlust, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 9:53, Reply)

Yea it is Lusty
*gets angry*

*doesn't have sex*

*is sad*
(

Captain V, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 9:55, Reply)

Awh, poor V!
*points and laughs*

You didn't meet any lovely ski-ladies?
Or any Piste Madames?
(

Cawl, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 9:58, Reply)

You can clean my house
V. I think that would satisfy me more than sex with you
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 10:00, Reply)

@Dok
It would involve quite a bit of typing I'm afraid.
It would also involve spending lots of time on the phone to travel agents, expect the one I called last night. I'll speak to him, he sounded pretty fit.
(

wanderlust, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 10:02, Reply)

Nah
The apres ski was the only thing that let the resort down. Didn't stop us having a good time but it did limit opportunities to meet people.

I did happen to meet a very nice lady from Glasgow who skied with us a few times. Went out with her and her mates one evening too but nothing came of any of that. Me and my comrades got stopped by the Gendarmerie that night too...

:edit: @TGB Touche!
(

Captain V, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 10:03, Reply)

Well I'd take the job
You can speak to all the fit blokes, I'll take care of all the women.

I can type, as you can tell, I just prefer not to when I can get away with it!

Angry sex V? It's the best type!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 10:05, Reply)

Ah, shame!
Skiing with a hangover is terrible, especially when you have to stop halfway down a run to throw up.
So maybe lack of apres ski isn't all bad?
(

Cawl, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 10:06, Reply)

Oh
And I also make a mean cuppa Lusty.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 10:07, Reply)

Speaking from experience Kaol?
Fortunately I didn't suffer any hangovers although one of my friends had two pretty awful ones.

I wasn't too fussed about the lack of apres ski really. After 6-7 hours a day of skiing at full pelt it's hard to motivate yourself to do anything other than eat and sleep. At least it was for me.
(

Captain V, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 10:10, Reply)

Did you have lots of soup?
Soup is awesome when you're skiing!

Yeah, I had a hangover-vomit when I was there last.
(

Cawl, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 10:11, Reply)

Nah I'm not big on soup
Did eat lots of baguettes though.
(

Captain V, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 10:12, Reply)

Cool!
I've only been skiing in Austria, so soup is more their kinda thing, I think.
Dammit, I want soup now!
(

Cawl, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 10:13, Reply)

*hugs sad faced badger*
Woo!

Morning all.

I feel like I got some last night, but alas I didn't.

*sigh*
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 10:14, Reply)

I really want to go to Austria again
I've been twice but they were the first two times I went skiing and I was with the school so it was a bit pants.

Mind you I have a French speaking friend who skis but no German speaking friends at all.
(

Captain V, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 10:17, Reply)

Ningles!
With any luck, I'll be heading off to Canada for my snowboarding in January.

With any luck.
(

Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 10:31, Reply)

V
I hated skiing with the school as well, we went to Bulgaria, lovely country, been there lots of times now.

I have lots of friends who speak German, but only one for French.

Hi DiT.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 10:32, Reply)

My holiday this year
is the edinburgh bash.

Because I can't afford food let alone holidays *cries*

Yo Ethel
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 10:33, Reply)

I'm about the same Badger
Other than Edinburgh I am being taken to the Isle of Wight with my family. I can think of several things which would be better, one of them being gouging my eyes out with a rusty teaspoon!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 10:36, Reply)

*hands Dok rust teaspoon*
Now go!
(

Captain V, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 10:37, Reply)

V
But do you have the warm one to pop them back in with?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 10:38, Reply)

No
You eyes are coming with me so that I can show them something that is for your eyes only. Why else would you need to gouge them out?
(

Captain V, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 10:39, Reply)

Dok
I may be on the IoW August bank holiday money depending, when you going?
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 10:40, Reply)

Badger
I can't remember, I think it's around that time though. You'll be there with your Marina won't you.

V, you want to show me something that's for my eyes only. The mind boggles. It had better not be in your pants though, because everybody's seen that!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 10:45, Reply)

Dok
I had a very brief panic after reading that until I remember that the last time I got my cock out in public was before I'd met any of you lot.
(

Captain V, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 10:50, Reply)

I will indeed
if you get fed up of your family I'll give you a ride in my car ;)
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 10:51, Reply)

I haven't seen what's in V's pants.
*sads*

*feels left out*
(

wanderlust, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 10:53, Reply)

I'll show you my toad before you go to Canada dear lusty
I promise.
(

Captain V, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 10:53, Reply)

V
You can panic all you want, I'm sure you'll get it out again at some point in the future.

Now Badger, that's an offer I can't refuse. It would be far too impolite!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 10:53, Reply)

Yayyyyyy
nom nom nom
(

wanderlust, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 10:54, Reply)

*enjoys nomming*
@Dok There's no doubt in my mind that you're right.
(

Captain V, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 10:55, Reply)

*yawns*
Is it home time yet?
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 11:01, Reply)

Morning all
I'm shouting at the internet because I'm trying to apply for a PGCE thingie at Warick and the site keeps crashing, and I've got a shift in about an hour and a half... how is everyone?
(Fredz A graveyard of hopes, a dump of ambition, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 11:03, Reply)

@nigles Fredz
Universiuty websites are crap, they all are trust me.

No Badger it's not hometime yet.

V just give me some warning first, please!

*gouges eyes out with rusty teaspoon*
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 11:07, Reply)

Last time it happened (in public)
There was no warning. I doubt there will be in the future either.
(

Captain V, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 11:08, Reply)

Warwick uni
*makes ooooohooooh noises*

If you get in then you can live in Leamington and buy me drinks!
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 11:10, Reply)

Yes, but
Why? Why are University websites crap? Most universities these days teach IT at some level, so with a whole host of folks who know about, and are learning about IT and such, not to mention a teaching staff trained to teach people about the mysterious workings of the internet why is it so hard to build a functioning website? /rant over.... Oh, and it's always hometime.... somewhere! (EDIT - and yes, it is near lemington eh? I shall buy drinks, but given that I'll be an impoverished student once more the drinks may be very cheap tescos ownbrand vodka!)
(Fredz A graveyard of hopes, a dump of ambition, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 11:14, Reply)

Fredz
Trust me it's nothing to do with the people who run the sites, it's all to do with infrastructure which has mostly been cobbled together from mismatching hardware over many years.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 11:15, Reply)

It is very close
I always get stuck behind the big pink uni busses on my way to work. Yeah proper work not like you freeloading students :p
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 11:21, Reply)

Figures.....
So they've got lots of people who know their stuff but no real infrastructure?
(Fredz A graveyard of hopes, a dump of ambition, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 11:21, Reply)

Oh, I'll probably be working too!
Unless I can get a grant that is.... I never realy had the chance to be a freeloading student at uni... unless I didn't want to eat, or have somewhere to live that is :(
(Fredz A graveyard of hopes, a dump of ambition, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 11:22, Reply)

But they do have
Lots of pretend infrastructure!
(

Captain V, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 11:23, Reply)

It's true
And for the last twelve years I've been helping them to buy it!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 11:27, Reply)

Morning matey peeps
So far today I have optimised an extract program so that it writes 4.5 million records to a file in 54 minutes. Now I have to decide if that's good enough or whether there's some way to tweak it further.

What fun!
(

The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 11:29, Reply)

Good morrow, fair b3ta people
How dost thee?
(

Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 27 Jan 2009, 11:32, Reply)

Nearly 1400 records per second
Seems pretty good to me. I'd put your feet up and have a crepe.
(

Captain V, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 11:33, Reply)

Morning DG & Chains
How's life treating you two?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 11:35, Reply)

Yo newcomers!
How goes it?

Chains that sounds good enough. Now go make me some tea!
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 11:36, Reply)

Not bad Dok
Not had much time for b3ta recently. And I have fuck all in the way of QOTW stories so far this new year :(

Joy of joys, I'm attempting to write a FAQ on a specific grant application process, so that the numpty applicants can read it, think "hmm, that makes sense" and then completely ignore the advice anyway.

But on a more woo note, I ordered my wedding coat yesterday. It is all of the win and completely right for the fop that I am :)
(

Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 27 Jan 2009, 11:37, Reply)

I want a general ranty QOTW
I think I could do with a good ranting!
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 11:40, Reply)

Ning DG
I feel that I neglect B3ta now, too. But, it's work that pays the bills! ;)

*wishes B3ta paid bills
(

Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 11:41, Reply)

Hey DG
Woo for ordering that jacket. On the subject of woo clothes I need to decide whether or not to splurge savings that should be used to move on buying a kilt for the Edinbash.
(

Captain V, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 11:42, Reply)

I just want an interesting one
I've barely read any of this weeks entries as I just think it'll be depressing! And along the lines of, "yeah, this time last year I was doing OK. Now I've had to go sell my BMW and replace it with a Micra, stop going away on long weekends and have sold my wife into prostitution just to pay the mortgage".
(

Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 27 Jan 2009, 11:42, Reply)

V i think you should raid
charity shops for anything tartan and make your own!
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 11:43, Reply)

Meh.
The most recent QOTW questions have just been hard to write anything for, the most recent one in particular I don't like. I've had BBC news and such cramming stuff about the recession down my throat for so long I feel like I'm a top goverment economist. Why can't we have a QOTW about kittens or something?
(Fredz A graveyard of hopes, a dump of ambition, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 11:44, Reply)

'Lo D-i-T
I know what you mean. Work has been an unstoppable juggernaut since the turn of New Year, so little time for slacking off.

And there always seems to be too much to do at home in the evening to warrant much time on 'tintermeweb.

*EDIT* nods head vigorously in Fredz' direction.
(

Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 27 Jan 2009, 11:44, Reply)

That's far too sensible for my liking
I'm a practical fellow but very prone to spouts of insensibility plus I doubt I'd find enough Anderson tartan in charity shops.
(

Captain V, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 11:46, Reply)

I never find any
badger tartan :(
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 11:48, Reply)

Join the club V
I'd never find my tartan in a charity shop, in fact I find it fairly difficult to find it in tartan shops full stop.

We do need a fun QOTW, something that's going to give us all a chuckle.

That's because there is no badger tartan silly!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 11:49, Reply)

Maybe
A badger made entirely of tartan?
(Fredz A graveyard of hopes, a dump of ambition, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 11:50, Reply)

Mind you
My 2minute research into the price of a kilt + trimmings suggests that it'd cost me a significant amount of savings.

I wonder if it'd be helpful to stomp my feet and scream about having wanted one for a very long time?

*stomps*
(

Captain V, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 11:50, Reply)

I think we should have a "Pass the mind bleach"
QOTW so we can all go "ewwwww" at work
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 11:50, Reply)

That sound like a good one Badger
I suggest you make the suggestion!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 11:52, Reply)

I thought you went "eeeeeewwwwwww"
a lot anyway.

Just by looking in mirrors and stuff.

Morning all!
(Bazongaloid, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 11:52, Reply)

I've just done a really stupid thing
and bought a packet of Jammy Dodgers. They aren't going to last until lunchtime.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 11:53, Reply)

I saw a dead badger once
the way its guts and entrails were spread about its body did look a bit like a kind of badger tartan...

Morning al! You still a cunt then?
(

Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 27 Jan 2009, 11:56, Reply)

Absolutely
And now I'm a cutn with four jammy dodgers in his tummy.

Can someone come round and take the rest away from me before I eat them too.

You can punch me in the face at the same time if you like.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 11:59, Reply)

OK.
I'll just get on the train.

See you in about 4 hours!
(

Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 27 Jan 2009, 12:01, Reply)

I think, but I'm not certain,
That the universe would implode if Al ever stopped being a cunt. He's doing us all a favour don't you know.
(

Captain V, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 12:01, Reply)

*pimpage*
Mind Bleach QOTW

Poor squishy badger :(

Oh and fucking good news everyone my mum has had the all clear! WOOOOOOO. I have never been so relieved of anything in my life!
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 12:03, Reply)

Woohoo!
Hooray for mummy badger!

I'm very glad for you both.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 12:04, Reply)

Aw thanks AL
I know how painful it is for you to be nice ;)
*gives fluffeth hugs to Al*
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 12:05, Reply)

Does pressing "I like this"
on a QOTW suggestion actually have any effect on which one gets picked?
(

The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 12:07, Reply)

In theory yes.
In practice, no.
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 12:08, Reply)

It might do
But no-one really knows.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 12:08, Reply)

Pleased to hear that badger
Al get back to being a cunt before you kill us all.
(

Captain V, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 12:08, Reply)

Sorry
twatface.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 12:11, Reply)

Thank you
Cuntfoot
(

Captain V, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 12:11, Reply)

Woohoo
For Mummy Badger, for it is AWESOME news!

At the moment I'm designing a set of headphones and I would like you lot to tell me what you would like to see.

Remember these are going to look futuristic. I'm looking at something like Davros' head brace at the moment.

Give me some ideas!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 12:13, Reply)

Sounds good to me Dok
You gonna combine it with a microphone and some strategically placed wires?

And an electronic eye?
(

Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 27 Jan 2009, 12:15, Reply)

I think there
should be a lot of clear plastic and think wire to make it klook like they are floating over your ears.

And also they should have lasers. *makes peiooow laser noises*
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 12:15, Reply)

Hooray!
For mothers with non-scary lumps!
(

The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 12:17, Reply)

My office is so cold
I can't write properly with a pen. That's ridiculously cold right?
(Bazongaloid, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 12:19, Reply)

DG
The microphone is a must, the eye, maybe if I can get something cheap enough.

Oh there will be lots of wires.

The main connection will be at the back of the skull, so you have to plug yourself into whatever your using as a sound source.

EDIT Al, I didn't think you could write properly with anything othere than your cock ;) Yes that is far too cold by the way.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 12:22, Reply)

YOU'RE
*spangs*
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 12:23, Reply)

Nice
Can I have a 1/8th jack port in my right kidney and an RCA plug on each buttock?
(Bazongaloid, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 12:23, Reply)

Al
My office is far too warm. Sooo sleeepy...
(

The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 12:25, Reply)

Right
lunch beckons. Pasta with tomato and tuna, and lots of onions and garlic!

My colleagues are gonna hate me this afternoon!
(

Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 27 Jan 2009, 12:27, Reply)

My office
is just right
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 12:27, Reply)

My office
Has walls.
(

Captain V, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 12:28, Reply)

I feel like
one of the three bears.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 12:28, Reply)

My office
has biscuits and a giant godzilla and a little wookiee that makes wookiee noises and ninja stars made out of post it notes!
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 12:29, Reply)

*cries a little bit*
I want TGBs office!

My office has me and nobody else.

It's very lonely.

*sads*
(Bazongaloid, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 12:31, Reply)

Oh Badger
Thanks for that.

I missed the correction you give me, when you were away.

Al, how about I give you those straight into the brain, it'd work better!

EDIT My office has cunts in it.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 12:31, Reply)

I have another
6 people in my office. And they are all insane.
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 12:34, Reply)

Lunchtime!
Mmm... leftover pizza.
(

The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 12:41, Reply)

Hurrah for TheMummyBadger!
And, word up al.
(

Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 13:01, Reply)

Word DiT
How's it hanging for my favourite cross dressing fallen angel?
(Bazongaloid, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 13:04, Reply)

Those crazy Glaswegians
Always with the dying.
(

The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 13:37, Reply)

Just a thought
But maybe they should just let the twat die!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 13:43, Reply)

You'll never get anywhere
with that sort of attitude Dok.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 13:51, Reply)

It does seem
A little wasteful. And probably futile.

It does bolster my own determination to not exceed a litre of wine this evening.
(

The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 13:54, Reply)

Al
It's what he deserves, especially if he is going to boast about it!

Chains, I find drinking more than a litre of wine makes me sick as a dog, beer on the other hand is almost fine.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 13:56, Reply)

A litre of wine
is only a bottle and a third.

That's nothing really.

Three litres is four bottle, which is a bit silly really.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 13:57, Reply)

Well,
I'm back from my exciting morning adventures.
There was a saw-blade, blood, a couple of chips of bone and some injections.

I love my job sometimes :D
(

Cawl, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 14:04, Reply)

Given that he's Scottish
Chances are it's whisky he's drinking 3 litres of, not wine.
(

The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 14:07, Reply)

Kaol
Is that another one hospitalised? All you need now is to sack a temp and your day will be complete.

3l of whiskey is enough to seriously screw you up!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 14:10, Reply)

Not sure what'd happen to me after 3l of whiskey
Almost got sent to hospital after the equivalent of 1.25l of tequila =s
(

Captain V, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 14:13, Reply)

After 3l of whiskey
I'd probably still not be drunk enough to have your mum.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 14:21, Reply)

...but I'd do her
for a curly wurly and a packet of Frazzles
(tiger blood and Adonis DNA, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 14:30, Reply)

Al
I would hope that you'd never be drunk enough to have my mum.

I know that I'd not be doing anything other than dieing in a corner after that much whiskey. I did a pint of it once, that was bad enough.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 14:32, Reply)

You're a bad man
who should be lying low at the moment.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 14:32, Reply)

Afternoon you feckers
I got back to the office and there was a massive hoard of food in the post room! nom nom nom nom nom
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 14:32, Reply)

Burt,
If you're gonna go crying to /talk about how shit we all are, why come back?
(

Cawl, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 14:33, Reply)

I can't help it, al
B3ta is the proverbial flame to my metaphorical moth.

~~moth~~ cock
(tiger blood and Adonis DNA, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 14:33, Reply)

Massive hoard of food
I wish we had that here, Badger your work rocks!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 14:35, Reply)

~~work~~ cock
(Bazongaloid, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 14:36, Reply)

There were loads of those
satay chicken things on sticks. I have eaten about 8 so far... *plans a return trip*
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 14:36, Reply)

Is that true?
Were you dissing us to /talk?
(Bazongaloid, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 14:36, Reply)

Yep...
www.b3ta.com/talk/5876106
(

Cawl, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 14:37, Reply)

Kaol
There's really only a small group of people on here that I would actually call shit.
Since the revolution last week I've gained a few friends and they've posted more in the couple of weeks since than they had been. There are elements of OT that aren't shit.

You're right though, I really ought not to be here, it was only that cheese person posting with my name in his sig that really compelled me to post.

EDIT I stand by the statements I made on /talk
(tiger blood and Adonis DNA, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 14:37, Reply)

Well
fuck you, you big cunt.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 14:40, Reply)

And I thought we had something special Bert
I'm cutting off your motorboating and groping rights
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 14:40, Reply)

Come off it al
You know I wasn't talking about you. You big cunting lummox.

Ah, TGB. I'll always remember you as the one that got away.
(tiger blood and Adonis DNA, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 14:41, Reply)

Is that why you
rohypnolled her in the end?
(Bazongaloid, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 14:42, Reply)

And I'll always remember you
as the one that came in my eye and then licked it all up
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 14:42, Reply)

Which end did I rohypnol her in?

TGB, I'd actually like to give that a try, gaz me your address.
(tiger blood and Adonis DNA, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 14:43, Reply)

I've told you before
get your cock a little Hitler uniform like in the picture and you can do whatever you like
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 14:44, Reply)

I don't remember that.
Anybody here any good at sewing little nazi cock uniforms?
(tiger blood and Adonis DNA, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 14:45, Reply)

And some of us
liked you, but now you've gone and told them we're not manly enough!

Pah, my illusions have now been shattered.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 14:46, Reply)

Urgh
My head is falling apart. I don't like it.
(

Captain V, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 14:46, Reply)

*gaffa tapes V's head together*
*gives Bert a good groping*
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 14:47, Reply)

Your idle chit-chat
is nobody's business but your own.

I've been adding my own sense of humour to OT from the start, and b3ta for a long time before that. If I've offended anyone, I apologise. I often say or do things for the impact that they will have, purely to amuse myself, and occasionally to the amusement of others.

I really didn't think that what happened was ban-worthy, I was standing up for something that I believed in (those that saw the post will know what I'm talking about).
(tiger blood and Adonis DNA, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 14:51, Reply)

Hold still V
*gets stapler*

This is going to hurt you more than it hurts me!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 14:51, Reply)

I look like some sort of
industrial Sikh!
(

Captain V, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 14:51, Reply)

Or
A TechnoMummy!

Hold still while I insert the lasers.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 14:53, Reply)

Dok
You just made me do a stifled officelol. You are a bad man.
(

Captain V, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 14:58, Reply)

Glad to be of service
And why stifle it, I believe that all officelols should be loud and hearty. Like Brian Blessed!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 15:00, Reply)

A technomummy
would be awesome.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 15:01, Reply)

Yeah
It could have speakers in it's pecks, and flashing light all over its stomach.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 15:09, Reply)

Nay to the speakers
It'd have to have traps in it's boobies.
(

Captain V, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 15:10, Reply)

Acid spurting traps
And it's cock would be a massive spring loaded spear.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 15:16, Reply)

V
What kind of traps, and where whould you put the speakers?

EDIT Well now I know what Al wants.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 15:16, Reply)

I see we're pushing the boundaries with our apostrophes today.
Been having fun while I was away?
(

thealternativefact, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 15:17, Reply)

Hi Drixy
*hugs*

How's tricks?

Apostrophies, kill 'em all I say!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 15:19, Reply)

Hey clenders
Are you referring to my "it's"?

:edit: Some quick digging shows I was wrong to use an apostrophe and that not using one makes complete sense (ie his, hers etc). That's my learning something new for today.
(

Captain V, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 15:20, Reply)

Oh bugger off
why did they make the word its and it's so bloody complex.

They should just pick one and stick with it.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 15:22, Reply)

*hugs Dok*
Tricks is fine - been non-b3taing for a while. See? It can be done!

V, as if I'd comment on your it's.
Al, you cutie, you.
(

thealternativefact, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 15:22, Reply)

Yes It can be done.
But should it?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 15:25, Reply)

I'll do you

(Bazongaloid, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 15:31, Reply)

Well, it did mean I got some work done.
I need to make the effort now and again.

Edit: Who? Dok, I presume...
(

thealternativefact, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 15:32, Reply)

I'd do you too Clenders, don't worry.

(Bazongaloid, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 15:34, Reply)

Oh Al
That's so sweet of you to say so, can I do you roughly in the ear?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 15:36, Reply)

Hmmmmmm
only the left one. My right one is a bit smaller.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 15:38, Reply)

Hurrah!
It's nice to be ~~back~~ done.
(

thealternativefact, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 15:41, Reply)

*takes Al roughly in the ear*
So you got a lot of work done then Drixy, was it good?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 15:43, Reply)

Yep, Dok.
It was about time.
(

thealternativefact, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 15:47, Reply)

Cool
Glad about that, so how much do you still have left?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 16:01, Reply)

Eh?
It's work...it's on-going.
This was stuff I was supposed to do weeks ago.
(

thealternativefact, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 16:05, Reply)

Clendrix!
*snog's*
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 16:05, Reply)

Badger!
*love's*
(

thealternativefact, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 16:05, Reply)

I had an apostrophe moment earlier
Debating the placement in: "B3tans' minds"
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 16:07, Reply)

Well,
b3tans are mainly mindless, so as the actress said to the bishop, stick it where you want :)
(

thealternativefact, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 16:12, Reply)

Afternoon
Afternoon all. I trust everyone has had a good day? Mine thus far has been very domesticated. I made a casserole! :)
(weekirst23 Is broken! Silly ice. Silly High heels!, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 16:14, Reply)

Howdy
Well, after being dicked around by CPS yesterday, and thus wasting a day in London, today I was supposed to have two court appointments in the fair capital.

I turned up to the first one at 9am, to find out that it's been moved to next week. No, of course they didn't think of informing me, nor the coppers, about this change.

So, I start killing the time until the afternoon appointment, but then get a call asking me to come in tomorrow, as one of the jurors called in with a '24hr bug'.

Another fucking day wasted, and right when I have urgent deadlines. Another 6am train to catch tomorrow.
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 16:17, Reply)

'noon WeeKrist
Made a cassarole, I wish I'd been in the house to do that, I've been stuck bored at work all day.

Drixy I wish my work was ongoing.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 16:18, Reply)

Oh well Lab
It looks like your week isn't going very well.

Anyhoo, I'm going home, see everybody later!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 16:20, Reply)

Herr
Its all part of the daily drudgery that is unemployment I'm afraid. Soon I will become a domestic goddess :) -I even started going to the gym!!
(weekirst23 Is broken! Silly ice. Silly High heels!, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 16:20, Reply)

Are you being prosecuted
or are you a witness Lab?
(Bazongaloid, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 16:28, Reply)

Al
I'm a witness ;)
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 16:30, Reply)

Oh good
I was a bit worried there that I had been associating with criminals without knowing about it.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 16:31, Reply)

Lab have a big snog
to make it all better :p
*snogs*
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 16:33, Reply)

Criminals, eh?
No...

*burns evidence*
(

Cawl, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 16:34, Reply)

So I was all like "No Way!"
And then she was like all "Way!"

And then we both like totally laughed until we had to go to class.
(

Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 16:42, Reply)

*slaps Tightly*

(

thealternativefact, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 16:45, Reply)

*clutches face*
WAAAA!

Why the fuck did you do that?
(

Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 16:49, Reply)

You'd gone all Merkin!
I feared for you.

Or maybe I just like slapping you about a bit.
(

thealternativefact, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 16:53, Reply)

Well maybe I *enjoyed* being slapped around a bit.
Did you ever think of that?
(

Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 16:57, Reply)

Mind bleach please
All I can think of now is testicles slapping about ='[
(

Captain V, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 17:01, Reply)

Hmmm...
I'll remember that, Mister DiT...
(

Cawl, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 17:02, Reply)

I'm curious
to know what the post is to which Bert stormtrooper is referring.

Anyone enlighten me?

And who is this cheese person?

*Edited for incorrect use of grammar*
(

Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 27 Jan 2009, 17:06, Reply)

Not by you, Kaol.
I think your slaps would hurt. Not like those girly ones that Clenders gives.

EDIT: V, I think that has more to do with your mind than anything else. ;)
(

Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 17:08, Reply)

Bring on the Trumpets!
I dunno who the cheeser was either.
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 17:08, Reply)

Mine slaps are soft, yet firm.
Yes, slaps.
(

thealternativefact, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 17:10, Reply)

Bring on the trumpets!
I thought the cheese dude may have been Bert? I am clearly wrong!
(

Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 17:17, Reply)

definitely not Bert.
Haven't a clue.
(

Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 27 Jan 2009, 17:18, Reply)

I think I may
bugger off to my dads for free food!

Catch you all later
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 17:19, Reply)

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