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(

rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)

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Mornings all!

8.30 already. Come on in.
(

K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 8:30, 412 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

Morning!
It's half after midnight, I'm getting ready for beddy byes.
I have a camouflage nightdress, hurray!
(

Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 8:33, Reply)

A camouflage nightdress?
Does it look invisible then? With a pair of tits painted on the front or something?

:-)
(

K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 8:35, Reply)

Morning!
Camo nightdress? That could be hot, or scary, depending on whether or not you sleep with a gun under your pillow!
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 8:35, Reply)

I wouldn't much fancy
having a gun under my pillow. In case it went off during the night and woke me up. Or worse.

How's the weather with you this morning, Lab? NIce and clear and frosty here.
(

K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 8:37, Reply)

morning folks
I hope we are all well!
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 8:37, Reply)

Morning K2
We have occasional, half-hearted flurries of snow, which only adds to the slush on the roads. Other than that, it's quite sunny!
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 8:39, Reply)

The camo nightdress
is ace. It's warm and lovely and has green and brown leaves on it. And my boyfriend bought me it from my favourite fishing store, so I wear it when I'm home alone :)
(

Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 8:40, Reply)

Is it still snowing
back home?
(

Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 8:40, Reply)

Bits of the UK
have had mountains of snow, and still are receiving some new stuff. Other bits (here, for example), have had next to bugger all. It was really heavy rain in London last night I believe. That's bound to have caused a bit of flooding in the south east, with with the snowmelt and all.

And good morning Vipros.
(

K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 8:43, Reply)

Morning Vipros :)
Workboresme, last time I was in the States (Bend, Oregon) for a training course, I went to a 'Sporting Goods' store there. It was MASSIVE, and filled with all sorts of hunting and fishing equipment.

It was like a Tesco filled with guns, knives and camo gear. Quite scary, really.
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 8:43, Reply)

Labia,
we have a place called Bass Pro Shops and I can spend hours upon hours in there looking (drooling) over their fishing gear.
In fact, I never go with less than $100 in hand and ALWAYS leave my credit card at home.
(

Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 8:46, Reply)

Morning all
No snow here despite it being forecast, we have got some sideways rain/sleet going on at the moment though.

I feel like absolute arse due to having cocked up the whisky:sleep ratio somewhat last night.

I'm glad guns aren't allowed in this country, because I'd end up shooting at least one person per day until they locked me up.
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 8:53, Reply)

Hi Y'all
How goes it?
(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 10 Feb 2009, 8:58, Reply)

Morning all
My usual route to work was flooded today and until shortly before I left for work the road at the bottom of my estate was too. If the council weren't so efficient at clearing it I wouldn't have been able to leave home, what a shame!
(

Captain V, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 8:59, Reply)

G'morning Sam, VC and Captain V :)
I am preparing to be bollocked at work today, I've just found out I've gone significantly over on my hours for a case.

I have a lot of good reasons why, but bosses don't listen to reason when money's involved.
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 9:03, Reply)

I am preparing to bollock someone at work today
(No, I'm not Lab's boss...)

The funny part will be that he's convinced he's my senior. He's not. I feel somewhat less than delightful so will probably be in a well arsy mood.

Feel a bit better now I'm in the office and out of my ~~sauna~~ car with borked heating, nearly had to stop and throw up on the way to work!

Morning V, VC!
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 9:08, Reply)

Hello sexy people
I'm quite annoyed the snow all melted. I was looking forward to another day off work *lazies*
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 9:12, Reply)

well
I hope things work out for you guys at work. sounds like a shitty day ahead.

My day was pretty crap. Had a maths test first class of the day. I think I failed it :(
(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 10 Feb 2009, 9:12, Reply)

Right time to work
The fan has hit the shit here. Laters (hopefully) folks.
(

Captain V, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 9:14, Reply)

Morning
You bunch of crazy sexy people, how the devil are you all today?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 9:14, Reply)

disappointed by maths
but however have somehow got my writing muse back! So am very happy.
(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 10 Feb 2009, 9:17, Reply)

I have a maaahaasssssive
pile of forms on my desk I need to process.

But I thought I should get my b3ta fix first
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 9:17, Reply)

I tried to get one b3ta at school
and it got blocked with a message saying "inappropriate - languange filters detect high amounts of swearing. contact administrators for access".
(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 10 Feb 2009, 9:22, Reply)

Booooo
For Maths and piles of forms.

But Yay for B3ta.

K2 Nice Billy Joel song quote. I'll give a pint to the first person who knows which song my sig comes from.

EDIT VC you should have contacted the admin then.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 9:22, Reply)

Morning all
It snowed a bit overnight here, but is now very sunny so slush central. I suspect I don't have much work on today so much surreptitious book reading and b3ta posting.
edit: dok - there's a bit like that in "what do you want from life" by The Tubes. I think that's the title.
(

The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 9:24, Reply)

I dunno Dok
I tend to make up my own lyrics for songs. There was a song that I thought went "Hold your head up" but I think the actual lyrics are "green sally up"

cough pimpage cough
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 9:27, Reply)

The Tubes!
Bit new wave-y for me in general but that is a good song...

Edit: what pisses me off is when some program throws an error and tells me to contact my system administrator. I am the fucking system administrator!
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 9:32, Reply)

dok we both know
that they won't let me.

:(

Fascists.
(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 10 Feb 2009, 9:34, Reply)

Badger
I like to do that too it's fun.

Sam if it had of been anybody else I would have said that they Googled it. That's a pint I owe you.

EDIT Vamp, just tell them that it's Herr Doktors orders!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 9:34, Reply)

Presumably if it filters on swearing rather than a blacklist
the proxies like sickrik.com don't work?

Edit: I think we're square in that case, I'm sure I owe you a pint for something, got a feeling that was lyric identification as well! I should be in London end of the month so we can drink ale and talk about our old men's music tastes... I may create a bash today actually.
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 9:35, Reply)

eggsackary
Sam.

And Dok - they won't say yes. :(
However I have a funny story to regale you all with.

I was walking down the corridor with my biology teacher from last year, saying hi and all that, and he goes "how was your holiday?" and I was like "yeah pretty good - worked heaps" and he says "ahh so you're loaded?" "Yep. hoping to go to the UK at the end of next year" and he says "ahhh so I'll hit on your for a loan then when I need one!"
and I've just gone "I'm so glad you finished that sentence with "for a loan"

And there's my funny story for today.
(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 10 Feb 2009, 9:40, Reply)

Morning all...
After the snow-excitements, we had serious issues getting into work today because of flooding.
I live in the middle of nowhere, on a hill, so four of the five routes were too flooded to be passable.
I kinda wish the fifth way was flooded too...
It's a twenty minute drive here normally, but took an hour today!

So... Snow, floods... I'm waiting for the plague of locusts.
I've got a little friend who'd love that :D
(

Cawl, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 9:41, Reply)

Yeah
Make a bash, It'll be fun. Loads of peeps will come.

EDIT Morning Kaol, I've got several who would enjoy a plague of locusts as well. Bring them on!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 9:41, Reply)

Here you all go then:
b3ta.com/calendar/event/18464

Sign up!

Ooh I feel like a proper member now I'm organising a bash...
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 9:49, Reply)

Kaol
Five of the four routes? Shurely shome mishtake.
(

The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 9:49, Reply)

What?
*whistles*
(

Cawl, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 9:50, Reply)

Kaol the Ninja
He arrives in stealth.
You no see his work!

Vamp, but is the teacher male of female, and are they hot?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 9:54, Reply)

VC, if I can conquer my hangover
and dredge up some php from the depths of my brain, it might be an interesting project to write a proxy that filters out the swear words and replaces them with innocuous equivalents...

Wouldn't be that hard, would just need a table of swears and what I was going to replace them with.

*thinks*
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 9:55, Reply)

Doesn't b3ta have a built in swear filter?
If you turn the setting on in your account from home you should be ok at school.
(

Captain V, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 9:56, Reply)

now I can't remember WHO it was
but one of you put me onto Something Corporate - and I love them!

So whichever one of you it was - thank you heaps!!!

EDIT: this teacher is male. And married.
(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 10 Feb 2009, 9:57, Reply)

I thought
that didn't work on /questions?

Never used it meself...

Edit: checked and it does just say /board and /talk.

Edit 2: turned it on and it doesn't filter QOTW.
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 9:57, Reply)

Might be enough to get past the filters though
I'm sure if it wasn't working for anybody they'd change it to include /questions and /links.

Thought I'd mention it as it might save Sam some work - I find the idea of people doing unnecessary work abhorrent.
(

Captain V, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 10:00, Reply)

Ooh Kaol you minx
VC - glad you like them.
Sam - if you went down to london the week before you could join in with cackers's bash.
(

The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 10:04, Reply)

As do I V!
Although when it's not work for work, and I'm sat in work getting paid anyway, it doesn't seem as bad.

But yeah, might be best to gaz cr3 and ask him to make it include /questions, probably take him 5 minutes!

Edit: @ Light - yeah that'd be good but for the fact I'm not getting paid til the 25th... I did quite fancy sitting in a pub talking to cackers entirely in Zappa lyrics though!
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 10:04, Reply)

Vamp
That's a pity, if they had of been young female and single you could have been quids in.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 10:04, Reply)

Quids out
As they said they wanted a loan from VC.

*teaches Dok to read*
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 10:08, Reply)

But Badger
I was thinking about the sentence if it hadn't finish with 'for a loan'.

But I see your point.

And you can teach me anytime you want young missy.

EDIT Pass the hat please.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 10:09, Reply)

All I can hear in my head now
Is Ben Stiller, in dodgeball, saying "That's freaky naughty"

It's both creeping me out and turning me on at the same time.
(

Captain V, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 10:26, Reply)

Why V
What's going on with you?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 10:28, Reply)

I don't know
I'm ascared! I think it was something to do with you saying badger could teach you anytime but I'm not certain.

My poor little head has been a bit messy lately.
(

Captain V, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 10:30, Reply)

That's 'cos you're mental.
*points and laughs*

*realises*

*frowns*
(

Cawl, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 10:31, Reply)

V
Now you know how filthy my head is 24/7, 365 days a year.

Welcome to the world of b3tards.
(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 10 Feb 2009, 10:32, Reply)

G'morning!
Morning all, hope everyone's ok today. I'm mostly ignoring work and pretending that I'm doing stuff.
(Psyche finishes work at the end of June! Yay!!!, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 10:32, Reply)

Hi Psyche
not sure we've met.

nice to meet you.

How're you?
(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 10 Feb 2009, 10:34, Reply)

VC
If you think that's filthy come spend some time in my head. You'd be spluffing your pants in no time.

*remembers the erotica he wrote last night*

*enjoys memory*
(

Captain V, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 10:35, Reply)

V you were writing erotica?
Cn I read it? Unless it's about me. I'm still scarred from Spakkas lovely prose
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 10:36, Reply)

Hi Vampyrecat
No, I don't think we have met, hello!

Very nice to meet you!
(Psyche finishes work at the end of June! Yay!!!, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 10:36, Reply)

(and I am well)
Although bored of having to shovel snow off the drive.

How are you?
(Psyche finishes work at the end of June! Yay!!!, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 10:37, Reply)

V
I'm actually pretty okay at writing erotica :P

I have a piece or two on another website that people wanted me to write more of. The only reason I didn't was because it was a bit *too* enjoyable to imagine.
And bazmorningstar wants me to finish a story I wrote and posted on /qotw.
Betcha didn't think I'd write porn didya?

Psyche - good to hear you're well. Chuck the snow this way - we need it desperately to put out these damn fires
(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 10 Feb 2009, 10:38, Reply)

But V
Miss Badger teaches me all the time. I don't think a day goes by without her teaching me something.

Vamp, you want to crawl into my mind sometime. Being described as having a single track mind will take on a whole new meaning.

Hi Psyche.

V, we all want to read the erotica now!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 10:38, Reply)

Erotica?
*sighs*

Whatever I write ends up blood-soaked, with the female lead being bricked into the wall.
(

Cawl, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 10:39, Reply)

dok
swap minds - you'll discover how filthy and depraved I really am.

And I know you'll love it. :D
(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 10 Feb 2009, 10:40, Reply)

Morning Psyche
Are you ignoring work at work?
(

The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 10:40, Reply)

Kaol
Isn't that who it's meant to end? It does with me!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 10:40, Reply)

Kaol
That's hot.
You carry on with the blood and face smashing and I'll carry on typing one handed.
(

wanderlust, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 10:41, Reply)

Yep, ignoring work at work
While the boss is away, his employees will... take their dog for 3 hour walks and sit playing on B3ta and other such fabulousnesses all day.

Vampyrecat - find it v strange that so many places are having these HUGE fires when we're having the wintriest (I don't care if it's not a word) weather in 20 years.

Am bored of the snow now - it's only pretty when it's falling and you're making snowmen. So you are welcome to it.
(Psyche finishes work at the end of June! Yay!!!, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 10:43, Reply)

Morning Psyche, don't think we've met
VC after reading your QOTW replies this week I can believe you write erotica!

I'm rubbish at writing anything, it immensely frustrates me. My dissertation was in the middle of a paragraph (although I did finish the sentence!) when I handed it in, as it was either that or throw my laptop through a closed second floor window, and I quite like my laptop.
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 10:43, Reply)

mmm
need to cool off actually.
I'm attempting to write an erotica but as usual my mind is getting a little too carried away.

And yes I am replacing the characters with myself and angelina jolie.
In my head.
and my pants.
(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 10 Feb 2009, 10:44, Reply)

Son of Sam...
I did meet you once... shortly before I stopped playing on b3ta for a few weeks/couple months to catch up wih the work I'd let pile up. As I could no longer reach my computer.

Yes really. Someone had shut the laptop and piled the crap I'd so carefully positioned around my desk ON TOP OF IT.

But hello nonetheless. I shall go snoop your profile now!
(Psyche finishes work at the end of June! Yay!!!, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 10:45, Reply)

VC
It doesn't surprise me in the slightest! You're right about writing it being, ahem, enjoyable.

@TGB/Dok Can't share it as I wrote it over an IM conversation at home and even if I did it'd be a bit crap as it was aimed rather squarely at the recipient of said erotica.

On an unrelated note. I ordered tapers to stretch my ears to 10mm last night and when they've healed I'll either go to 12mm or order a bunch of nice tunnels and plugs. I'm also considering getting my tongue pierced sooner than I'd previously intended to in no small part due to me eyeing up a vibrating tongue bar!
(

Captain V, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 10:46, Reply)

Captain V
I stretched mine to 10mm the other day, I was considering stopping there, but we'll see.

I also want to get my tongue pierced.
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 10:48, Reply)

Damn this work
getting in the way of my b3ta-ing.

@Dok Minge (from way up the page) - yes, it's a Billy Joel lyric, but did you spot yesterday's one? From the same songwriter.
(

K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 10:50, Reply)

Oh good morning Lusty!
Nice to see you here.
Here have a wave.
Are you okay?
Don't worry we're not ignoring you or anything, nah we were just saving all of our hellos up so we could all bundle you and surround you with good loving.

Fuck the lot of yous then.
(

wanderlust, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 10:50, Reply)

I can't decide 10 or 12 atm
Had intended to stick to 8 to increase the chances of them closing up if I take them out but I've only ever found one set of tunnels I like and never any plugs but 10 and 12 have enough stuff I like for me not to want to go any bigger than that (for now at least...)
(

Captain V, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 10:50, Reply)

I have a feeling, Sam,
that if I were to continue the exchange between the two characters I created for the pub story - then I'd enjoy myself far too much and end up needing a fresh pair of pants.

EDIT : Lusty HUGS sorry - I was in the shower until five minutes ago. I must have missed you coming in.
You okay?
(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 10 Feb 2009, 10:50, Reply)

How does one go about writing erotica
without making it sound all corny and much more comedic...

I just keep thinking of the phrase "throbbing member" and giggling a lot.
(Psyche finishes work at the end of June! Yay!!!, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 10:50, Reply)

Vamp
Cool, that means I can do all of your schoolwork. And I get to find out what its to think like a lady type person.

Bad show V.

Why order tapers V why didn't you just get a 10mm tunnel. I'm thinking of taking mine upto 20mm soon.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 10:51, Reply)

hello wanderlust,
would you lie some homemade apple and cinnamon strudel and homemade vanilla custard?

I have some left over from last night and you look as though you might need it.
(Psyche finishes work at the end of June! Yay!!!, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 10:51, Reply)

Clearly I meant like
Because it would be silly to assume someone needed to lie in custard and strudel. Unless, that is, you'd prefer to do that?
(Psyche finishes work at the end of June! Yay!!!, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 10:52, Reply)

I'm lurking.
Don't start talking about earlobe stretching or else I will regret taking mine out.
(

girlinthehole, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 10:53, Reply)

dok
go for it - but if you make me fail english history maths or biology I will cut off your two best friends.

Psyche - there are ways to write erotica without even mentioning "throbbing members" that still get me hot under the collar.
(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 10 Feb 2009, 10:53, Reply)

I think it's an art form
that I am as yet too immature to perfect. I'd either be too embarrassed t write it,or too busy giggling at myself.

I'll just leave the writing to other talented folks!
(Psyche finishes work at the end of June! Yay!!!, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 10:55, Reply)

hello vamp!
*waves*

@Pysche, yeah fill my mouth with that custard and strudely goodness.
(

wanderlust, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 10:55, Reply)

Haha!
Morning Lusty!

*grins*

Sorry, I had to call some people to tell 'em their delivery would be late, due to flooding.

Also, talking of writing, not quite erotica, but:
www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post192365

EDIT: Fucking hell, I'd kill for apple strudel and custard right now.
(

Cawl, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 10:55, Reply)

Hello Lusty!
Apologies, my work is mental at the moment, trying to view some posts whenever I can.

*huge hugs for Lusty*
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 10:55, Reply)

BGB
What size did you get upto?

Morning Lusty *hugs*

V I heard that anything after abot 3mm (depending on the person) won't heal properly.

Vamp, I may just take your body out on the town, and chat up all th e ladyz for you. Maths and Biology I can do, English History, not so good at that due to the fact I'm Scottish.

K2, didn't see it yesterday.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 10:56, Reply)

Dok
I don't reckon I could just shove it in. Maybe I could but I don't want to risk tearing either of them again. Not fun!

:edit: When I first got them done I heard 6-8mm would typically heal down to the size of a standard piercing which is good enough for me. Don't really care so much about that now.

Any suggestions for a tattoo for my right wrist? I've got the left worked out just need to decide whether I still want one on the right to go with it.
(

Captain V, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 10:57, Reply)

dvdmassive.co.uk
is this an ok site to buy stuff from? I'm not quite sure if I should admit what it is I'm trying to buy, but they've got it on here for £15, when play has it for £52!!!!!

Anyone?
(Psyche finishes work at the end of June! Yay!!!, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 10:57, Reply)

LUSTY!
*snogs*

Warning: Having your tongue pierced and eating pringles can result in chipped teeth
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 10:57, Reply)

Hello Lusty
You'll be all strudeled out by now!

Edit@Dok Minge - "It's sad and it's sweet and I knew it complete".
(

K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 10:57, Reply)

Fair enough Psyche, I'll take your word for it
My memory isn't what it once was...!

HI LUSTY!

I wouldn't mind some apple strudel if there's any going!

I've been wanting to pierce my ears again (well, one of them again, the other one for the first time) for quite a while, haven't got round to it though as I am the king of procrastination.

Edit: V, shoving a 10 straight in an 8mm hole should be fine without tapers I would have thought?
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 10:58, Reply)

@Her Dok
I got up to 11mm. They've shrunk back down quite well. I just got bored with them but I still have all my jewellery and tapers and could stretch them up again.
(

girlinthehole, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 10:58, Reply)

WTF badger?
@Sam I've had trouble with getting tunnels in even after having stretched them moments ago with a taper. Tapers cost me way less than tunnels would have anyway and if I go to 12mm the 10mm tunnels would be a bit of a waste.
(

Captain V, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 10:59, Reply)

My ear was up to about
10mm and it's pretty much healed up now *cries* I keep wanting to restretch them but I am impatient and I know I'll rip them again.

Psyche I dunno never heard of that site before. Are you buying porn?

V I was eating pringles and chipped my tooth on my tongue bar. The noise of metal on bone almost made me vomit.
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 11:00, Reply)

Psyche
You've got me curious now, what do you want to buy?

It would be easier the second time round BGB.

V, if you are going to do it yourself at the 10mm stage I would suggest 1mm at a time stretch, heal and repeat.

I've never even thought about getting my tongue done, but I have heard good things about it ;)
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 11:00, Reply)

Yep, apple and cinnamon strudel for all
I would have been able to make a second one today if I hadn't got carried away reading all the QOTW stuff from last week and forgot I was burning apples to the bottom of the pan. So had to start again. Grr.
(Psyche finishes work at the end of June! Yay!!!, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 11:00, Reply)

/hugs lust
Hey kaol - gaz me and i'll send ya a link to my terrible writing.

Dok - I think i'll fail in my own body.

Besides..... I think I might have found myself with a girlfriend for the first time in two years
/blushes
(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 10 Feb 2009, 11:00, Reply)

That site looks pretty dodge Psyche
Looks like it was put together in 10 minutes, and the Verisign secure site link just reloads the home page, instead of opening the Verisign page and showing you their certificate.

I'd steer clear.
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 11:01, Reply)

V
I used a cheap acrylic taper to go from 8mm to 10mm over about 24 hours. I could probably go to 12mm, i just don't want them to extend outside of the line of the side of my ear, if that makes any sense.
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 11:01, Reply)

If I were buying porn I'd tell you.
It might...

Oh god here goes.

I'm buying Fantasia. As in the 1940 version that I used to watch when I was a kid.

I LIKED IT AND AM FEELING NOSTALGIC OK!
(Psyche finishes work at the end of June! Yay!!!, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 11:02, Reply)

Lab
That's what I'm doing (got green ones) and I know what you mean about retaining the shape of your ear. I don't want my ear to look a different shape.
(

Captain V, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 11:03, Reply)

BTW!
Wooden plugs FTW if you don't like having smelly ears.
(

girlinthehole, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 11:04, Reply)

bugger
£52 on play.

I'm not feeling that nostalgic.
(Psyche finishes work at the end of June! Yay!!!, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 11:04, Reply)

Somewhere
I have a photo of the bit of tooth that chipped off but I can't find it now.
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 11:04, Reply)

Psyche
There is nothing wrong with Fantasia, I own it as well, it's great.

Vamp, a girlfriend, do tell. Now this bodyswap is looking far more appealing!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 11:05, Reply)

just googled it
reviews say are illegal copies from thailand.

Grr. Ta for heads up.
(Psyche finishes work at the end of June! Yay!!!, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 11:06, Reply)

BGB
Do I have to start wearing sandals if I use wooden plugs? =p
(

Captain V, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 11:06, Reply)

BGB
In a month I'll switch to some wooden double-flared plugs. Or some blue glass ones.
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 11:06, Reply)

I'm going to go eat strudel and custard,
but it was lovely talkng to you all this morning.
Byesy bye!
(Psyche finishes work at the end of June! Yay!!!, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 11:08, Reply)

Psyche
Long shot, but is there anything on ebay?
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 11:08, Reply)

Dok
well...
My friend met this boy - who used to go to my school. She and this boy are now dating. This boy's flatmate used to go to my school too. I was (and am) very shy, and never spoke to her cos I thought she'd laugh at me.

And my friend was over at their place, and she and this girl got talking and she got me her number and said she was interested in me and now we're going out on sunday. Like, on a date.

I'm so nervous and excited.
(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 10 Feb 2009, 11:09, Reply)

I Have
a couple of 18mm coconut flesh tunnels.

EDIT You go for it, and remember try not to be shy, she's already said she like you.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 11:09, Reply)

Morning wanderlust
I wore an earring for many years, it fell out in my sleep last year and I never bothered to replace it. I neither have nor want any other piercings or tattoos.
Freaks.
(

The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 11:10, Reply)

*sigh*
I loved my wooden tunnels. I also have some s/steel tunnels with sparkly diamonds around the outside for special occasions.
(

girlinthehole, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 11:11, Reply)

I so want to stretch out my ears again now!
I have some lovely bone plugs with mother of pearl stars inlaid in them
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 11:12, Reply)

Go VC go
Where are you going on your date?

TGB Do it!
(

Captain V, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 11:16, Reply)

@Vampyrecat
I think ickle lesbians in love are a wonderful thing : )

I used to love watching the young dykes in the clubs walking round, holding hands and feeling proud.

*wipes tear from eye*
(

girlinthehole, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 11:17, Reply)

Badger
Do it, you know you want to.

Join the stretched ear brigade.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 11:18, Reply)

well
first I'm going around to her place.
And waking her up.
Those are my orders - specifically from her.
I was also told to chuck a teddy at her face but I think I'll just be nice and shake her shoulder.

And then we're going bowling and out for coffee.

EDIT: BGB - you made me laugh so hard then. But yeah - should be good!
(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 10 Feb 2009, 11:18, Reply)

Congrats VC!
Lights, I am addicted to tattoos, and would love to get more piercings. If I had more money, I'd be covered in tattoos from some of my favourite artists.
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 11:19, Reply)

Bowling!
Lesbians in sensible shoes!
(

The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 11:20, Reply)

VC
I'll be disappointed in you if you make it to going bowling after waking her up!
(

Captain V, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 11:20, Reply)

fank yooo
means a lot - mum's hovering and being anxious though.
there is a massive massive reason for my lack of anyone in my life (for a solid chunk of time:- 2+ years) and she doesn't want me to get all freaked again.
(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 10 Feb 2009, 11:21, Reply)

Alright chums, lets do this
Leeeeeeeeroy Jeeeeeenkins.

apologies, don't know what came over me

Morning all. VC - that sounds like a weird and wonderful way to start a date. And bowling too? The Dude approves.
(

djtrialprice, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 11:21, Reply)

I've got
No piercings or tattoos.

But I'm in the process of designing a couple of tattoos.
My problem is that I want 'em 100% right before I get 'em on me.

EDIT: Morning DJ! You got flooding issues there? It's awful here.
(

Cawl, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 11:21, Reply)

I just smacked me
knee on the side of me desk.

You know when you hit it just so and then feel really light headed and sick *cries*

Ooh datey date date date. Didn't want to go out on Valentines day then? :p
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 11:23, Reply)

I've wanted a tattoo for ages
But I also can't decide what I want...

Morning djtrialprice! This isn't Nam, this is bowling. There are rules.
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 11:23, Reply)

well
it could go one of two ways.

A) we'll end up having a nice snogging session in the morning and forget about the bowling

or B) we'll talk for ages and go bowling.
(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 10 Feb 2009, 11:24, Reply)

I could get you a toe right now if you want
I want more tattoos *glees*

Hey DJ *gropes*
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 11:25, Reply)

Kaol
Wanting them 100% is not a problem at all. Having said that, my favourite tattoo involved me saying to the artist "I like Polynesian style, lots of triangles and spirals, with a sun motif", and then let him go to work.
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 11:26, Reply)

@VC
I'd go with the talking and bowling. You want to build up to the snogging. Bowling with the sexual tension sparking between you will be ace.
(

girlinthehole, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 11:27, Reply)

sam - it's amazing how one film
has so many lines applicable to our everyday lives e.g. vamp could announce her arrival with the line from Jesus, "Dios mio man. Are you ready to be fucked?"
(

djtrialprice, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 11:27, Reply)

Vamp
I'd wake her up with a kiss, but I am an incurable romantic at heart.

Kaol, that's the best thing to do, if you're not 100% sure then don't do it.

Morning DJ.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 11:28, Reply)

aha
she's supposed to be teaching me how to bowl.

I must say I'm looking forward to the bowling more - I can't bowl for shit. I would rather the tension build up. :P
EDIT: Dok - I would but I'm incredibly shy.
(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 10 Feb 2009, 11:28, Reply)

hey TGB (EDIT: and the Dok)
careful now
(

djtrialprice, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 11:29, Reply)

@Her dok.
No your not, you're a dirty old man : )
(

girlinthehole, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 11:29, Reply)

I prefer
being reckless *winks*

Anyone else watch UltraViolet last night. What. The. Fuck. ?.
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 11:30, Reply)

My next tat
Will be a Phoenix, I just need to get a good picture, and I can't find one I like. I also can't draw for shit!

Could any of you fine folks draw me one?

EDIT Badger Which Ultraviolet, the film or the TV show?

Blousey, I am, but I'm still an old romantic at heart. I'ts a bit like being a new romantic, only less stylish.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 11:30, Reply)

BGB is right
Dok doesn't kiss like any of the romantic men I know!
(

Captain V, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 11:31, Reply)

Dok
get the tattooist to draw you one up
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 11:32, Reply)

It is the most quotable film of all time, definitely!
She could also use 'Coitus. The physical act of love. Do you like it?'

VC - when you're bowling, don't look at the pins, focus on the little triangles on the floor that are a yard or so in front of you. Your aim will be much better that way.
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 11:32, Reply)

^^^^
this

1. Stand in exactly the same spot before each roll
2. Lead off with the opposite foot to your bowling arm. Throw the ball with that foot forward (a couple of steps later obviously)
3. Aim for the arrows not the pins

Oooooh, I have a gaz
(

djtrialprice, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 11:37, Reply)

V
I've never kissed you that way.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 11:33, Reply)

The film Dok
with Mila Jovovovovovovovovovich
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 11:33, Reply)

Badger
It worked far better as a comic, I prefer the Channel 4 TV series myself.

I would but I don't know of any good tattoo artists. down here.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 11:35, Reply)

@sam and djtr
I know you're going to get all pissy with me, but that film is wank.
Overrate and dull.
(

wanderlust, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 11:37, Reply)

You're in London, no?
There are loads of good artists there! One guy I want work done by is here (Tomas Tomas).
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 11:37, Reply)

I might be able to Dok
give me a few days...

Also - it's more my coordination - I simply cannot walk without tripping.
Seriously - you will discover this for yourselves when I get there. you'll be falling over in the snow laughing at me.
(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 10 Feb 2009, 11:38, Reply)

Oooooh, that's fighting talk!
I've watched it with a lot of people who haven't got it. I've been in hysterics with them going 'wtf?'

It is very dry admittedly but it's spot on I think. Do you not like Fargo either then?

I might have to put you on ignore if you carry on like that :P
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 11:39, Reply)

Well...
I wasn't gonna say anything...
Glad someone else doesn't rate that film.

I watched it, and didn't laugh once.
I think people had hyped it up so much, that I was expecting something decent. It was just pretty dull.
(

Cawl, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 11:39, Reply)

Lusty
I have to agree with you, that film is crap. Just like Withnail and I!

EDIT Thanks Vamp and Lab.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 11:41, Reply)

Right then!
I don't know about the rest of you but I'm putting on my Dude bowling shirt and spending Friday evening in watching my favourite film while drinking white russians :P
(

djtrialprice, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 11:41, Reply)

I fucking hate White Russians
I've tried to like them cos the Dude does, but alcohol and milk just shouldn't be mixed.

I have no bowling shirt but I have bowling shoes, thanks to the only bowling alley I've ever been to where they just give you the shoes rather than taking yours in exchange. I bet they get through quite a lot of shoes!

Edit: Dok, Withnail and I as well? Jesus, what is wrong with you people?!
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 11:43, Reply)

Kaol
That's what I thought. So many people made it out to be amazing, I saw it just wasn't impressed.

@Sam I understood that there was meant to be humour, I just didn't think it was funny.
(

wanderlust, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 11:44, Reply)

Sam
It's another in a long list of funny films that don't make me laugh.

Just not my type of comedy I supose.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 11:47, Reply)

I luuurrrrrve White Russians
Can I come drink and watch the film with you? I promise not to urinate on your rug.
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 11:49, Reply)

You'd better not
It really ties the room together.
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 11:50, Reply)

Are we talking about leeroy jenkins here?
Or am I going mad?
(

Captain V, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 11:51, Reply)

Who is Leroy Jenkins?
Edit: just looked him up and it's something to do with WoW, no wonder I haven't heard of him!

A bit of pimping for you all, now there's a few more people here...
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 11:52, Reply)

I didn't think it made sense for us to be talking about him
What fucking film do people find funny or not funny then? I can't see a reference to it other than the quotes that I don't recognise and am too lazy to google.
(

Captain V, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 11:53, Reply)

No V
You're going mad. As a hatter mate!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 11:54, Reply)

Big Lebowski
Shocking V, go sit in the corner by yourself
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 11:55, Reply)

Never even heard of it
Meh.
(

Captain V, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 11:56, Reply)

The Big Lebowski
I don't think the name of it was actually mentioned though, we just presumed everyone had seen it!

Edit: Never even HEARD of it?! Did you grow up in a cave?
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 11:56, Reply)

Near enough,
He lives near me :p
(

Cawl, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 11:58, Reply)

Kaol
No one lives near you.

Edit: because of the remote location of your house, not because you kill everyone.
(

thealternativefact, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 11:59, Reply)

I thought Kaol was from Essex?
They don't have proper remoteness there :P

Hi clendrix!
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 12:00, Reply)

Clenders
By lives he means "squats in a hovel". It's what we do round these parts.

:edit: @Sam I was ~11 when it came out and wasn't really in to films back then. Even now that I love films I'm still to apathetic to go looking for them. I tend to prefer serials really as films are too short (except Return of the King, the later parts of that were horrendously long but in a bad way).
(

Captain V, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 12:00, Reply)

Woo Clendrix
*hugs*
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 12:00, Reply)

Hi Drixy
When are you off to Oz?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 12:01, Reply)

Sam,
Trust me, I live in the most "middle of fuckin' nowhere" that there is in Essex.

Obviously not as remote as other parts of the country get, but it's pretty damn isolated.
(

Cawl, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 12:02, Reply)

Clendrix!
hello

Kaol - you can't beat me in terms of middle of fucking no where. Just trust me on this one.
(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 10 Feb 2009, 12:02, Reply)

I've just been given this advice in a gaz
"Yes, behave yourself! Don't get sacked - b3ta isn't half as much fun if you're not actually skivving from something to post here."

Perhaps I ought to take that advice.
(

Captain V, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 12:04, Reply)

The largest uninhabited area of land in England and Wales
starts about 200 yards from my office.

It's 45 minutes drive to the nearest dual carriageway from here, don't pretend you have proper countryside in Essex! :P

Edit: who from V? And in response to what?
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 12:04, Reply)

V was the gaz
from a busty young lady?
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 12:06, Reply)

Sam
Dual Carriageway? What is this newfangled thing that you speak of?

I come from Scotland, 10 minutes North of where I lived and there was no such thing as a Dual Carriageway.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 12:07, Reply)

"behave yourself"?
Sounds like something Clendrix would say to me...
(

Cawl, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 12:08, Reply)

Kaol - I wonder why...
Hello to all the gorgeous people who said hello! It's nice of me to pop in and speak to you all.
(

thealternativefact, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 12:12, Reply)

Sam it was in response to me saying that
"I should probably stop verbalising my filth before it spills over into a conversation with my attractive colleague that I'd like to do nasty things to...That last bit didn't help."

:edit: I'm getting better. I restrained myself when tempted to answer Clenrix's rhetorical question with a load of filth! Progress!
(

Captain V, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 12:13, Reply)

"YES JUST THERE, NOW HARDER!"
sounds like something Clendrix would say to me.

If I were hammering nails into her wall whilst listening to really loud music.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 12:13, Reply)

Al? Hammering nails?

*and is spent*
(

thealternativefact, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 12:14, Reply)

V recently
you seem to have morphed into a little sex mad hamster.

Why a hamster? I don't know. ANy more dates lined up?
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 12:15, Reply)

V
What shocking ne'r do well said that in a gaz to you?

Needs a good whipping, if you ask me.
(

thealternativefact, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 12:15, Reply)

Damn right Doc
Last time I was up driving in Angus I mounted pavement and would have taken out a keep-left sign if someone hadn't already beaten me to it.

Stupid "dual carriageways". That slip road was 20 fucking metres long!

And calm... breathe.
(

djtrialprice, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 12:15, Reply)

Hi Al
you filthy minx.

how goes it you hornbag?
(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 10 Feb 2009, 12:15, Reply)

Al
I missed you at the weekend. Covering myself in stale spunk and ramming a cucumber up my ass just isn't the same without you there
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 12:19, Reply)

TGB
Less morphed more started venting it a bit. My sex drive is at a level close to a friend's - she's a sex addict.

Well my date at the weekend went ok so I'd like to see her again and get to know her better. Other than that nothing at the moment. If things don't work out with this ladyperson I'm going to give the whole match thing a break, or at least stop initiating contact with people. Not entirely sure it's really me.

:edit: Clenders I think she only told me to behave at work because she's jealous. She wants me to herself.

*sigh* There I go again. How do I get this stuff to stay in my head like it used to?! =[
(

Captain V, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 12:19, Reply)

Sorry TGB
Next time I'll send you a photo of me to look at while you do it.

In may ways it's better than the real thing as I won't talk, or try and put my penis in your ear.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 12:20, Reply)

I fucking hate my job today
it's not a good idea having two student nurses when there's only enough for one nurse to do. So I'm relegated to filing as I have more experience in what they're doing downstairs than the psuedo receptionist.

What's the betting that the place will look like a bomb's hit it and there will be fuck knows how many kits to wash by the time they're finished?

Not fucking playing today.
(

fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 12:23, Reply)

And your fingers up my nose
It was an all out orifice attack
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 12:23, Reply)

Orifice attack
Has filled my head with the Art Attack theme tune! *hums*
(

Captain V, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 12:23, Reply)

Hi becks
The best approach to filing is to do a really really shit job of it, put loads of stuff in the wrong place.

You won't get asked to do it again ;)
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 12:24, Reply)

aaaargh too many threads
I'm confused.

I myself have never played WoW but the Leeroy Jenkins video still reduced me to a fit of tears.

Afternoon al you magnificent bastard. EDIT: and miss letters now too.

And unfortunately I won't be watching The Big Lebowski this weekend but I still think everyone should have white russians anyway. I'll be checking up on you all later to make sure you did.

*phew* this is too much, I'm off to do some work.
(

djtrialprice, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 12:24, Reply)

omg V
that was the best show ever!
(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 10 Feb 2009, 12:25, Reply)

Yo Becky
That sucks. I have loads of filing to do but I'm putting it in my Thursday pile. Thursday of what week is still to be decided
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 12:25, Reply)

Hi Becky
I too hate my job today. Everything is going wrong, but is also taking far too long in the process.

I'll be here til late, no doubt.
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 12:27, Reply)

V. Orifice Attack
Has just put the Gallery music into my head, it's my age you know.

And it's just reminded me of the film Society.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 12:30, Reply)

Well the BBC
has a GIANT horsey story for ye today!

news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/kent/7880889.stm?lss
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 12:33, Reply)

SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM!
I wanna get some little USB speakers for my laptop. What ones shall I get?
(

thealternativefact, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 12:37, Reply)

I assume you want USB ones so they're powered off the laptop?
I'll have a look after I've been to lunch!
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 12:39, Reply)

Badger
I can only say What The Fuck?

Drixy, small ones that plug into the USB port.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 12:40, Reply)

Yes please, Sam.
Just for when I'm watching films etc. - don't need to be amazing.

Yes Dok, little ones that plug into the USB.
(

thealternativefact, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 12:41, Reply)

This is a list of all the USB ones Logitech do, all of them will at least be acceptable.

I'll have a look for some better prices after lunch, the ones on the Logitech website are a bit ridiculous! To avoid pissing off their distributors I suppose.

Edit: for an example, the V20 that Logitech list for £50 can be had for about half that elsewhere. How much are you looking to spend? They'd probably be alright...
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 12:45, Reply)

Clendrix
I have these and they're pretty good!
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 12:45, Reply)

Drixy
But honestly have a look at http://www.amazon.co.uk/Altec-Lansing-XT1-Powered-Speakers/dp/B0006GBD5O
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 12:46, Reply)

Lab
Are they that blurry in the flesh?
(

Captain V, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 12:46, Reply)

Cheeky V!
And Dok, I just linked those ;)
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 12:47, Reply)

At least it was clean!
Time to have look at typefaces me thinks.
(

Captain V, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 12:48, Reply)

Lab
I noticed when I posted, I was writing it at the same time and you beat me to the punch.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 12:49, Reply)

/yawns
I think I'm going to toddle off to bed.

Been lovely chatting with y'all.

toodle pip and kisses to all!
(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 10 Feb 2009, 12:50, Reply)

Night Vamp.
It seams strange saying that in the middle of the day though.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 12:51, Reply)

Oooh....well....
those ones look funky Labs, but they also look like they'd be even bigger that my litle laptop!

I think I'm looking for little and I don't need to have the sound blasting out too loudly or anything :)
(

thealternativefact, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 12:51, Reply)

Clendrix
I use mine with my 13" Macbook, and the speakers are no taller than that.
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 12:53, Reply)

I'd quite fancy
an afternoon nap.

We have loads of sweets and coke in the office though. I can feel my tooth enamal eroding away as I type.
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 12:54, Reply)

@Drixy
I have this and watching films on my laptop is now really easy.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 13:02, Reply)

Oh great...
YOU TELL ME NOW?

Labs - oh right. That's the same size as my laptop. Lordy - bit more than I'd planned on spending.
/thrifty

I'll have to think. I'll see what Sam says too.
(

thealternativefact, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 13:03, Reply)

Why don't you
Pay a tramp to voice act the script and make sound effects. Much cheaper than buying speakers.
(

Captain V, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 13:06, Reply)

Why not just
MAN THE FUCK UP AND STOP WHINGING.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 13:10, Reply)

Oh, this a marvellous idea!
I'll get Badger to do it. She's a tramp (and I love her like that).
(

thealternativefact, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 13:11, Reply)

Wrong board, Al.
Fuck off back...
(

thealternativefact, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 13:13, Reply)

I would do a shit job of it
only I'd have to fix it at a later date as it's only me who uses it. Fucking pointless as we have everything on computer and external servers.

I figure least I can do is go as slowly as possible while listening to music everyone else dislikes. Not much of a challenge there.
(

fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 13:16, Reply)

*tramps it up*
Do you use your laptop a lot in your bedroom Clendrix? *waggles eyebrows*
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 13:19, Reply)

Oh i'm so dreadfully sorry
what must you think of me. Here have a kitten.

*hugs*

*panders horrifically in the hope he may one day see a girls boobies*

*makes in joke*

right board?
(Bazongaloid, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 13:20, Reply)

Yes, that's it
*voms*
*heads back over*
(

thealternativefact, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 13:20, Reply)

flashes kitten
Oops, I mean boobs

/fail
(

fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 13:21, Reply)

Kittens or boobs, kittens or boobs
Boobs please.
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 13:25, Reply)

I'd go for the V20s then clendrix
If you're fancying spending £30 rather than £50 odd.

Ebuyer have them here for £33. Delivery is £4.95 but if you can find something else you want I think you get free delivery over £49.99.

Anything much cheaper than those and they will probably only be as good as the ones built into the laptop!
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 13:29, Reply)

That's a nice pussy there becky

(Bazongaloid, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 13:33, Reply)

How about boob kitteh?

(

fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 13:35, Reply)

Yay!
Sam, you're ace :)
(

thealternativefact, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 13:36, Reply)

Becky wins

(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 13:37, Reply)

Becky wins THE INTERNET
My bosses have found stuff for me to do, curse them! How am I supposed to squeeze work into a day full of book reading and b3ta browsing?
(

The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 13:40, Reply)

*hands Becky the internet*
Because the internet doesn't weigh anything!
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 13:42, Reply)

God
What has my life become, when I applaud a picture from someone on the internet because it has a boob in it?
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 13:42, Reply)

And a kitteh Lab! Not just a boob!
No problem clendrix, another problem solved by the b3ta technical helpdesk :)

@ Light - surely that's what you have minions for? If you don't have any, get some. The secret of success is delegation, never forget it...
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 13:45, Reply)

Lab
is there a word limit on the answer to that question? If not I'll be back to you in about an hour
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 13:48, Reply)

Some more pimping then
since you're all being miserable bastards

*cries*
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 13:50, Reply)

Cheeky Badger!
I'm having a completely shit day.
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 13:50, Reply)

Aww I'm sorry Lab
*big boobie huggles for you*
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 13:54, Reply)

I have things to consider Sam
I don't like to sign up to bashes until I'm certain I can make them. I'd like to come though!
(

Captain V, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 13:55, Reply)

Lab
I feel your bad day.

I'm sitting here in the office waiting to find out what's happening with the 'Major Reshuffle' thats being done to us.

None of us know if we'll have a job by the end of the day.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 14:00, Reply)

I shall do my best to be there Sam!
After all, you're my favourite Sam.

Hahahahahaha - the other Sams can't complain lest they give away their real names on the Interwebby thing!
(

thealternativefact, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 14:01, Reply)

Fuck you Clendrix :(
You always told me that I was your favourite.
(

Cawl, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 14:05, Reply)

Haha
I don't know who else is called Sam... everyone plays their real names pretty close to their chest!

I'm rubbish at thinking names so have always just called myself my real name on the internet. I only went with sam-i-am because Sam was already taken!

Edit: are you called Sam, Kaol?!
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 14:05, Reply)

Depends...
People call me Kaol mostly.
(

Cawl, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 14:07, Reply)

Kaol
You're my favourite Trevor.
You know that.
(

thealternativefact, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 14:08, Reply)

Sam
I'm a Sam too, which most people know after PPD used OMG real namez lol!!!one!!eleven a while back.

And there are two others. That I know of. The uprising of Sams will begin soon and all you non sams will be in trouble.

Except Kaol because I don't want him killing me :(
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 14:11, Reply)

I can honestly say
That I am not a Sam.

I'm something else.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 14:14, Reply)

I'm the best graham on the internet

(Bazongaloid, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 14:14, Reply)

I'm going to be cryptic about my true identity
For I am a monarch.
(

Captain V, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 14:15, Reply)

I didn't know you were a Sam TGB!
It's the best name...

It's weird, I've been on plenty of forums where everyone posts under their screen name but chat to each other using real names cos they know each other, doesn't seem to happen here.
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 14:16, Reply)

I am not Sam
nor is my wife
(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 14:16, Reply)

I don't really get it either Sam
But at the same time I feel compelled not to break rank.
(

Captain V, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 14:17, Reply)

Hi Roota
I can also say that I'm the only person that I know of here that is straight, strong, true, and swift!

EDIT That would be a stag V
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 14:18, Reply)

It is the best name in the world
Sam you should make us a "Sam and Proud of it" Badge. Because you probably have nothing better to do :p
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 14:18, Reply)

Yeah exactly
I know a few people's real names but I am keeping them a secret!

Edit: good plan TGB! I shall fire up Photoshop and put my non existent image editing skills to good use. I've never had a b3ta badge in my profile!

One thing though, how are we going to know if the people who ask for the badge are real Sams or impostors? We'll have to have some sort of vetting process.
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 14:18, Reply)

Hi Dok
Hi everyone
(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 14:19, Reply)

You what Dok?
A stay? *confused*
(

Captain V, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 14:20, Reply)

Al...
there's someone on OT who would dispute that.

You'll have to be a Clive.
(

thealternativefact, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 14:20, Reply)

Hello Internets!
What's going down in the b3ta crib? Word yo.
(

Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 14:21, Reply)

V
That a G V
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 14:21, Reply)

Hmm
I'll build a Sam-o-meter to detect others. It will be easy as we radiate so much more awesome than anyone else
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 14:21, Reply)

Afternoon Devil, your highness
Can I be called Lorelai?
(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 14:22, Reply)

Dok does spell his name funny.
It's

N

O

B

Haaaaaahahahahahahaha....
(

thealternativefact, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 14:23, Reply)

Yo DiT
Was up wit dat blud ai!?
(Bazongaloid, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 14:24, Reply)

Stupid typos
Stag makes little sense to me though.
(

Captain V, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 14:24, Reply)

Dok's name is actually
Garfunkle Pimpersnickle the Third.
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 14:27, Reply)

*fronts*
Na, mate, not much innit. That blood clot of a landlard won't let me have a dog though, issit. Cry, like.
(

Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 14:27, Reply)

Hi DiT
Badger, you promised never to tell anybody that. Now I will have to stamp my foot into the ground and tear myself in twain!

EDIT I love you too Drixy.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 14:29, Reply)

ooh
I'm impressed with the 'street' speak
(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 14:29, Reply)

Man that bitch ain't right izz'e
thas fackin wrong innit mate, no fackin dog, oo dus ee fink ee is bruv.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 14:30, Reply)

I NO!
How's a blud menna make 'imself known if 'e ain't got da tools of da trade, mate?
(

Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 14:34, Reply)

DiT as much as I love you
I am going to have to pugel stick you if you keep abusing the English language like that
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 14:36, Reply)

Easy Devil
You need to sort dat pussyclot landlord out, get me? Merk him up, standard blud.
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 14:36, Reply)

seriously
I'm enjoying this.
A lot.
(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 14:37, Reply)

DiT I've got a video to send you later
will try and remember to send it after puppy school later x

Edit: Boob snuggles Lab as you seem to be having more of a shit day than I am.
(

fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 14:39, Reply)

I'm gonna brrap the mutha up!
Like, totally stab the guy up, ai?

(Awfully sorry, TGB. It's fun!)

EDIT: Ta, Becky! Er, I mean, safe blud.
(

Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 14:39, Reply)

I refresh the page to see I've had two boob snuggles!
That's brightened my day somewhat!
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 14:41, Reply)

Brap brap!
*does gunfingaz*

I'd get my gat and lick shot blud, me nah bring a shank to a gat fight, ya gets?

Edit: @ becks I read that as 'puppy school latex' and it put some very strange images in my head!
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 14:41, Reply)

Sam, DiT, Al
how did you learn to speak like that!!!
(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 14:43, Reply)

Roota, you would enjoy it even more
if you knew what we looked like.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 14:44, Reply)

roota
Go and speak to the 15 year olds outside Oasis or Rialto News, they will educate you!

(they're a bunch of cunts. Although they are pussies, despite what they like to pretend)
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 14:45, Reply)

Imagine a load of mongs slapping each other and giggling.

(

thealternativefact, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 14:45, Reply)

And you have a fairly accurate
description of me and Clendrix doing it.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 14:48, Reply)

roota
I live in E11, innit. ;)

And Al's right. But then, Al's always right. Except for those times when he's wrong.
(

Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 14:47, Reply)

well, the 'kids' already speak like that
I think being able to rip it off is rather impressive.
Heaven knows why I'm enjoying such abuse of the english language, but I really am...

GAWD, I love 'innit'. As a northerner, I find it exotic haha.
(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 14:47, Reply)

It's coz u is well phat innit

(Bazongaloid, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 14:48, Reply)

Leytonstone is propa gangsta innit blud!
Murder Mile is my endz. Pure jukin wid my man dem.
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 14:49, Reply)

Brap and welcome and stuff innit blud Dit
Edit: Since you're here now...

I present Buddy the friendly mutt having some hydrotherapy for his arthritis. I saw your facebook update this morning and it made me sad, so vowed to get a video of a cute pooch today :)

smg.photobucket.com/albums/v345/beckyjsbx/vet%20animals/?action=view¤t=buddyhydro.flv
(

fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 14:50, Reply)

I'm pretty sure all b3tans
are more cul-de-sac, than street.

Edit: That vid is cute, he looks so happy!Thanks Becky! *misses his Bozwell*
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 14:53, Reply)

I was born in a concrete jungle
but I didn't fit in.
I was definitely never 'street'.
I wasn't even 'landing' enough for them.
(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 14:54, Reply)

Hmmm...
I'm more "field" than "street".
(

Cawl, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 14:57, Reply)

Awwwwww
It's cute little doggy!
(Bazongaloid, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 14:57, Reply)

Me
I'm a bit bit more pissed right off at the moment, but I grew up on the edge of farmland.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 15:01, Reply)

On returning to London,
after having lived in Yorkshire for five years, I witnessed someone get stabbed at Mile End train station (coincidentally, I got run over outside there weeks later).
(

Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 15:05, Reply)

DiT told me that story IRL so it must be true.
Dok, why are you pissed off?
(

thealternativefact, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 15:06, Reply)

he's a wuss when it comes to swimming
but he likes it if you give him lots of treats :)
(

fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 15:07, Reply)

The twunt
who is supposed to be here telling us our fate can't even be bothered to turn up on time for the meeting he set!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 15:09, Reply)

My dog, Bozwell
Didn't like swimming at all, but he would always chase swans on the river. He'd run along the reeds, but then dart back again, thoroughly confused as to why that 'ground' made him wet.
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 15:09, Reply)

kaol
Definitely 'field'?
Not 'lane'?
(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 15:10, Reply)

Dok
Oh dear...it's that day, is it?
Hope you're OK.
(

thealternativefact, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 15:15, Reply)

Afternoon, all.
How are we all doing?
(Eds Meds Mathskillz=1,Socialskillz=0, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 15:15, Reply)

Hmm...
I'm pretty sure it's "field".
I can drive a tractor like a motherfucker though.
(

Cawl, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 15:16, Reply)

Do you
want a big boobie huggle Dok?
*predicts answer*
*huggles*
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 15:16, Reply)

Yeah so do I
I just can't believe this guy.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 15:17, Reply)

Ha
Kaol is a hillbilly!
(

Captain V, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 15:17, Reply)

"I can drive a tractor like a motherfucker though."
Thanks for that fantastic mental image, Kaol.
(

thealternativefact, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 15:18, Reply)

Badger
Cheers, I may need it later.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 15:18, Reply)

Awh, I've got my fingers crossed for you Dok.
All six of 'em. Webs and all.
(

Cawl, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 15:18, Reply)

there's nothing more fun than getting on a tractor, when you're not supposed to
and nothing more boring than the realisation of
"now that we're on tractor, what are we gonna doooo, with iiiiiit??"
(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 15:19, Reply)

Dok
I'll cup your testicles to bring you good luck *cups*
(

Captain V, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 15:20, Reply)

Captain v
I've never witnessed such compassion.
If I had testicles, I'd want you to cup them.
(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 15:22, Reply)

Thanks folks
But we've just found out that the meeting isn't happening, and the cunt that called it didn't even have the decency to tell us!

This place pisses me right off!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 15:25, Reply)

Driving tractors is fun!
My mate has a 1963 Fordson Super Major, interesting to drive, but fun. The first time I drove it was when I jumped on when he had to go up to the house, figured it out myself apart from the fact I drove it across a field with the handbrake on.

And I got to dismember a partridge or two with the chain mower, traditional countryside activity!

Edit: that's gash Dok, it's well harsh to leave you not knowing.
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 15:26, Reply)

we do have tractors in the city
but you can't just hop on and ride.
They get locked up when they're unattended : (
(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 15:28, Reply)

Where in the city?!
Swear I never saw any!
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 15:29, Reply)

They're called Chelsea tractors Sam

(

Captain V, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 15:30, Reply)

Not THAT city :P
I used to live about 100 yards from where roota does, and I never saw a single tractor!

Maybe they keep them hidden from the non locals...
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 15:32, Reply)

Sam
you know, when they're building stuff and making new roads.
Or are those things not classed as tractors?
*blushes*
(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 15:33, Reply)

Hmmm...
"Tractors In The City" sounds like one of those horrific no-talent indie bands.
(

Cawl, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 15:35, Reply)

Kaol
I've got a crush on the singer.
He's a wanker.
(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 15:36, Reply)

I like Tractors
They are the prince of all the farm machinary.

The muck spreader is the king, and it's pulled by a tractor.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 15:37, Reply)

Ahhh
I suppose they're quite similar! But I'd call them JCBs, excavators, earthmovers etc...

Not even sure what the technical differences are, since you can get tractors with loads of hydraulics on. Maybe it's that on a tractor you can swap more bits round, I don't know.

I have been for a spot of night time urban 'tractor' driving as well, top fun! Apologies to the person who woke up in the morning to find their front garden wall razed to the ground, although I did leave you a dumper truck in compensation.
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 15:38, Reply)

Well...
I'll sign your copy of the album if you ask nicely.

I wish these damn jeans weren't so fuckin' tight...
Stupid "indie-fashion".
Worst of all the oxymorons.
(

Cawl, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 15:39, Reply)

I come from a family of farmers...
and even now I go to my Grandad's farm at Harvest time and drive the combine some days, and tractors on others.

I LOVE IT! OOO ARR, GET ORF MY LAAAAND!
(

Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 15:39, Reply)

Pretty much explains it all here Sam
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tractor

By my reckoning they're all tractors.

:edit: I think my favourite oxymoron would be oxymoron.
(

Captain V, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 15:41, Reply)

I'm asking nicely
I've wiped my number into the dirt on the side of your tourbus.

EDIT Sam, was that act of vandalism committed in Liverpool?

DiT, you can speak street AND drive a tractor. You straddle all cultures
(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 15:42, Reply)

Good work.
Hmmm...

On second thoughts, I'd absolutely hate to be in an indie band.
Well again.
Was in one at uni.
Awful, awful stuff.
(

Cawl, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 15:44, Reply)

Ah, fair enough Cap'n, looks like they're all subsets of tractors
I think the difference is that a farm tractor can have loads of different duties, muck spreading, mowing, an auger attached or any one of a million other things, whereas a JCB etc is usually designed for a more specific role, so I'd refer to those as diggers or whatever.

We had to borrow the biggest tractor I've ever seen to pull the generator wagon out of the mud after our festival last year. The lorry + trailer was 34 tonne gross and the mud was pretty soft, it only just managed it. The tractor dug 3' deep holes in the floor wheelspinning!

Edit: @ roota, nah, was years before I moved there. I suspect in Liverpool they're not stupid enough to leave the keys under the seat!
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 15:45, Reply)

Sam
indeed!
(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 15:47, Reply)

Yea I'm with you on that one
Now I'm going to think of a tractor as a very versatile vehicle usually found in use on farmland and the "other stuff" just to be specialised tractors for use elsewhere.

Might read that article properly later, seems quite interesting.
(

Captain V, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 15:48, Reply)

I do indeed.
Like a colossal, er, colossus! :)
(

Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 15:49, Reply)

The Colossus
of Leytonstone
(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 15:52, Reply)

This is no great claim, I assure you.
Leytonstone: The Arsehole of London Tahn.
(

Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 15:59, Reply)

Can I be
the Queen of Warwickshire?
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 16:01, Reply)

No.
No you can't.
(

Cawl, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 16:02, Reply)

TGB
You think therefore you are!
I'm the Duchess of Toxteth, so I should know.

DiT Say "Tahn" again.

EDIT Kaol, be nice
(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 16:02, Reply)

Kaol
Don't make me charge you with treason.

Off with his head!!!
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 16:03, Reply)

Well...
If someone's gotta ask to be Queen, they're not suited for the job.
(

Cawl, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 16:04, Reply)

Taaaaaaahn!
Goin' up west, aren' I, for a classy night aht.

(I am so middle class it hurts me sometimes.)

(EDIT: don't you mean "Orf with his hid!" TGB? :) )
(

Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 16:04, Reply)

I'll be the Prince of Wales then!
roota - surely you're in Canning?! Toxteth doesn't properly start til that Natwest at the top of Princes Ave...

I keep typing your name as rotta, maybe my subconscious is trying to tell me something :p
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 16:04, Reply)

Up West!
I love it when posh'uns speak the lingo.
It's like watching The Krays.
I've come over all funny.

EDIT Sam, you're spot on, but nobody outside Liverpool has heard of Canning. Alright then. I'm the Countess of Canning.
Maybe rotta is what they call me behind my back.
(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 16:05, Reply)

Who's All Funny?
Do we know him?
(

thealternativefact, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 16:06, Reply)

Let me introduce
Herr Doktor Lemminge, the Duke of Saaaarf Laaandaaan!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 16:08, Reply)

Clendrix
Are you old enough to remember Jarvis from Newman & Baddiel?
That just reminded me of him.
(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 16:08, Reply)

I proclaim myself lord and saviour of the home counties
You're MY bitch now kaol!
(

Captain V, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 16:08, Reply)

Hmm...
I remember Newman and Baddiel, but not Jarvis.
(

thealternativefact, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 16:09, Reply)

Hmmm...

V, I dispute that claim.
I challenge you to a fight to the death.
Swords, in the Long Gallery.
Or Stortford Bowling Lanes.
(

Cawl, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 16:09, Reply)

Clendrix
Try and find a clip on youtube.
He was a right perve and he was hilarious. Loved the old double-wotsits
(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 16:10, Reply)

Kaol!
little villain
(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 16:11, Reply)

's alright
Even a lot of people that live there haven't heard of it.

Saves being stuck in this no mans land between Wavertree, Toxteth, Edge Hill and fuck knows where else though!
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 16:11, Reply)

They say it's Edge Hill
But I disagree
(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 16:12, Reply)

Well, I must say that I have never been described as 'posh' before...
:)
(

Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 16:12, Reply)

Well I'm shit at bowling
So swords it is!
(

Captain V, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 16:12, Reply)

Hmmm...
I changed it, I felt bad...

Oh... Ok.
I'm gonna cut you up, and make my new crown from your ribs, set with your teeth.
(

Cawl, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 16:12, Reply)

Depends who you ask
I never put a district on my postal address...

Edge Hill seems miles away though!
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 16:13, Reply)

If you're middle class
you'll do for a bit of posh where I'm from.
I've gone up in the world, as Sam will vouch by my current abode, but I'm originally common as muck.

EDIT Sam, yeah I see Edge Hill as that bit just before Kenny.
(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 16:13, Reply)

Kaol...
you're asking for a smack on the back of the legs, young man.

Roota, I'll look out for that. And hurrah for common as muck.
(

thealternativefact, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 16:16, Reply)

Clendrix
Honestly, I sound like a saxophone smoking a fag.
(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 16:17, Reply)

I'm disgustingly middle class
I've been reading the Guardian since before I could walk...

Yep roota, the old Georgian Quarter! Makes it sound a bit posher than it really is, nice living in massive houses though. Some of my mates lived on Falkner Sq in the biggest house I've ever been in, 12 bedrooms each of which were bigger than a lot of bedsits I've seen!
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 16:20, Reply)

I love the space
in the houses. I feel like I'm in a film most of the time.I'm a bit of a dreamer so it doesn't help to ground me...
(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 16:24, Reply)

DiT you're dirty posh
works for me :)
(

fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 16:29, Reply)

fucking cocksucking assweasels
shitting bastard cuntwhoring felching knobshrews.

Grr
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 16:31, Reply)

^was directed at
my bank not you lovely knobshrews.
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 16:34, Reply)

Dirty Posh, eh?
I like it, even if I don't know what you mean! ;)
(

Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 16:34, Reply)

GBT
whassamatta?

Ooh Becky, do you like the dirty posh too?
They need their ties loosening and their glasses skewiffing.
(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 16:34, Reply)

Hmmm...
Last time I mentioned the fact that I was wearing both a tie and glasses, I was accused of being an "Emo Accountant"...
(

Cawl, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 16:36, Reply)

Kaol
I wouldn't have said that ; )
(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 16:37, Reply)

That's because
You're not Halfy :p
(

Cawl, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 16:41, Reply)

Emo Accountant, hahahahaha
I don't own a tie. Or a shirt, come to that...

I'd quit my job and sign on if I had to dress up for it!
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 16:42, Reply)

I'm watching
this: www.youtube.com/watch?v=wADB1lazQxA
(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 16:43, Reply)

Basically
Roota my bank won't extend my loan because all the rent comes out of my account and then my houemate pays me and they think I won't meet the payments even though the payments and my situation are exactly the same as when I took out the current one which I have always met the payments on for the last TWO FUCKING YEARS
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 16:44, Reply)

Rage
Not only have I had the casefile i've been working on for 2 months crash on deadline day, but it refuses to open, and none of my backups will open, despite checking them Friday.

Thankfully I had measures in place that means I haven't lost everything, but it's still wasted about 6 hours of my time, which means I'll be pulling an all-nighter to catch up.

And if the two minions next to me don't stop talking and get on with their work, I'm going to make them knife-fuck each other.
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 16:44, Reply)

Lab if you want
I'll bring you cookies at midnight
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 16:47, Reply)

Go'ead
narky girls. Kick the bank and work arses!!!!!
Hooray for narky birds. And don't mess.

EDIT You'll have the last laugh with your bank. It's taken me four years to get one over on them, but the interest rate cuts mean that I'm paying less interest on their 'punishment' loan than they ever dreamed of...
(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 16:47, Reply)

Sam,
I don't mind wearing shirts, ties, whatever.
But if they get funny about me wearing a leather jacket, then it's time to burn staff-members.
(

Cawl, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 16:48, Reply)

Thanks Badger :)
I'm tempted to turn my phone off and walk out the door. The end of my tether was reached a while ago, as if you couldn't tell by my emo raging on the internet ;)
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 16:49, Reply)

I'm wearing a t shirt advertising beer
and a pair of jeans that are about 30% holes. This is how I like to dress, it would stress me out too much to be smart.
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 16:50, Reply)

Who's still here?
My flatmate Luis is lurking - say hello to him.
He's lovely!
(

thealternativefact, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 16:50, Reply)

Hi Luis!
*waves madly*
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 16:51, Reply)

Hi Luis!
I have a friend called Luis, he is a nice Brazilian man.

We call him Lewis, which impresses him no end. Think he's got used to it now though. He has a bizarre Irish/Brazilian combo accent as he lives with my other mate Bono, it has to be heard to be believed!
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 16:52, Reply)

HOLA LUIS!!
I was a lurker until last week
(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 16:52, Reply)

That's a little odd...
But hi Luis...
(

Cawl, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 16:53, Reply)

And now you seem like an old regular roota!
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 16:54, Reply)

Luis is Portuguese
and answers to Lewis or Luis - he's very versatile!

Luis, you know Kaol!
(

thealternativefact, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 16:54, Reply)

I'm an old
soak
(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 16:54, Reply)

I'm here, sort of

(

Captain V, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 16:55, Reply)

V
That sums you up nicely.
(

thealternativefact, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 16:56, Reply)

Thank you!

(

Captain V, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 16:58, Reply)

Hola, Louis!
Que tal? Er... Me llamo es El Diablo Don Tights.
(

Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 17:00, Reply)

Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahaha!
Don Tights!
That's your new name.
(

thealternativefact, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 17:01, Reply)

Don Tights!!!
Class!
(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 17:03, Reply)

Thanks guys!
Luis says hi back to you all.
And now he's gone to the gym.
(

thealternativefact, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 17:03, Reply)

I'm off now guys
Byeeeeeeee!

No rocker jokes please...
(

Captain V, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 17:06, Reply)

T'rah you lot
I'm gone
(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 17:09, Reply)

Knock knock
Who's there?
Rocker.
Rocker who?
Rocker round the clock.
(

thealternativefact, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 17:09, Reply)

Knock knock
FUCK OFF!
*cries*
(

thealternativefact, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 17:10, Reply)

Hey Luis
stop lurking and say Hi :)

Indeed I do Roota!

*pats Lab lightly on the shoulder and there there's a bit*. I think you should fuck off down the pub for a bit and then come back to it when you're feeling better about it. Getting others to knifefuck each other would be very entertaining though :)
(

fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 17:11, Reply)

Don Tights?

That's bloody goooood.
(

Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 17:12, Reply)

*squeezes Clendrix's knockers*
honk honk
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 17:12, Reply)

*gasps*
That was bloody lovely!
(

thealternativefact, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 17:15, Reply)

;)
I am off now to stalk Clendrix
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 17:19, Reply)

TGB
Join the stalking club...
(Bert Monkeysex2 loves teh cock, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 17:19, Reply)

I have just done
What my tagline says. I felt better for a bit, but it now means I have to stay a little later.

(It had failed to burn 3 DVDs in a row, and then stopped responding. One punch caused it to make a very loud, very satisfying grating noise, before the death rattle started.)
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 17:51, Reply)

Lab you're
so violent
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 17:55, Reply)

When stressed
Everyone wants/likes to break things.
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 17:56, Reply)

I smoke
I fancy a chinese tonight... nom nom but the one near me isn't as nice as the one in Cubbington which is far away :(
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 17:57, Reply)

I'll be ordering pizza to work tonight
And then charging it as expenses.
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 17:58, Reply)

That sounds like a masterplan
*evil laugh*
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 18:00, Reply)

It's the least they can do
It shall taste like victory
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 18:01, Reply)

You should have all the toppings on it. And make it an 18".
Punching things FTW when you're in a rage. Not walls though, that's a bad idea.
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 18:06, Reply)

I shall pig out!
The DVD Burner has left one knuckle looking red, but seeing as I also dismantled it entirely, I think I came out the winner.
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 18:07, Reply)

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