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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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 *twitches*
	*twitches*I'm ok.
Voice non-working.
Work quiet.
Eating a bread roll.
Dry. No butter.
Yourself?
(, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 9:38, Reply)
 Yes it's Friday
	Yes it's FridayThank fuck for that.
But still a whole day at work, bollox!
(, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 9:39, Reply)
 I'm gettin' a bus to Wales
	I'm gettin' a bus to WalesAt 4:30.
Takes an hour to get to London on the train from here. Plus 40 minutes for tube.
So I'll be leaving here about 2.
(, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 9:41, Reply)
 You suck.
	You suck.I'm here till 515ish :(
Did you break yourself screaming in the shed then?
(, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 9:45, Reply)
 I look like a twat
	I look like a twat"What's new?" I hear you cry!
Well, I don't normally wear a Hawaiian shirt, let alone a big red moustache and a red nose!
(, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 9:46, Reply)
 Oh...
	Oh...It's bloody charity day, isn't it?
*sighs*
If those African kids want my money, they better earn it in amusing ways.
I wanna see a version of "Seven" acted out entirely by starving AIDS-kids.
ER... TGB, yeah, I shredded my throat :\
(, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 9:48, Reply)
 Kaol
	KaolLaeving at 2, you lucky bastard!
You're supposed to sing like that from your diaphram.
(, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 9:51, Reply)
 Well I'm not raising for Comic Relief
	Well I'm not raising for Comic Reliefper se, theres lots of charities I support that don't get the exposure they should (and I don't mean being flashed by TGB)
(, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 9:51, Reply)
 Dok, I know,
	Dok, I know,But I've got a dodgy throat still, infection-y thing, so it gave out pretty fast.
Mr. Chains, yes indeed I am. You can work out how far it is on the b3tamap, haha!
(, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 9:53, Reply)
 Bummer
	Bummeron the throat infection-y thing. I bet it won't stop you having a fab weekend though.
Badger exposing herself? I don't believe it!
(, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 9:58, Reply)
 Given what you've said
	Given what you've saidI could go to the National Express website and work out exactly which coach you'll be on, and then I could be sitting behind you...
(, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 10:04, Reply)
 Yay!
	Yay!I think you should.
You could sit next to me actually, I'm sure you'd be more comfortable than the window to lean on and sleep.
(, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 10:05, Reply)
 Morning
	MorningI'm finishing at 12 so I can get out of the way of all these cunts with red hair and red noses asking me why I'm not dressed up, and go home and start drinking.
Are we all well?
(, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 10:07, Reply)
 I might drool a little
	I might drool a littleI'm a teeny bit hungover today. Okay, quite a lot hungover.
(, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 10:09, Reply)
 Aw
	AwChains wants to stalk Kaol, isn't that lovely.
User, you're another lucky bastard!
(, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 10:10, Reply)
 Username,
	Username,I like your style!
Nobody here has bothered. I work with the most apathetic bunch of arseholes in the world. But I like it.
It could be the start of the Apocalypse and they'd still come into work. And moan about each other.
(, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 10:12, Reply)
 No red nose day here either...
	No red nose day here either...Looking forward to drunken obliteration tonight, woo!
(, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 10:18, Reply)
 Some people here are wearing red
	Some people here are wearing redOne person is wearing red trainers, red joggers, red football top and a red nike hat.
Not sure what colour their socks were
(, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 10:21, Reply)
 Badger
	BadgerKill them, chop up the body and sell it to a dog food manufacturer!
(, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 10:23, Reply)
 TGB,
	TGB,That's good news.
Means you can stab him and nobody will notice.
(, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 10:23, Reply)
 I wish I had the afternoon off
	I wish I had the afternoon offTo be fair I will probably go at half three, and by then I'll undoubtedly feel better, but I still want the afternoon off. Technically I really wish I hadn't come in to work at all today.
(, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 10:27, Reply)
 I saw a little girl on the way to work
	I saw a little girl on the way to workWho scared the shit out of me, she looked like Simon Westen.
turned out she had just painted her face red really badly.
(, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 10:27, Reply)
 Hello everybody!
	Hello everybody!Is it red nose day? I hadn't realised :) Everyone wore red socks not that long ago for 'Women's Day' whatever that is. So I guess they're done with the red for the time being.
(, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 10:31, Reply)
 Are the red socks for womens day
	Are the red socks for womens dayTo represent period clots that have run down people's legs and soaked into there socks creating sort of foot tampons?
(, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 10:33, Reply)
 Feeling better already
	Feeling better alreadyI have cheered myself up by fiddling with TGB's pin on the b3tamap.
(, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 10:38, Reply)
 Ape
	ApeI never asked.. Wasn't brave enough.
But foot tampons could well be the reasoning. Nothing better than a bit of foot clottage in the morning.
(, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 10:40, Reply)
 Can you add sound as well?
	Can you add sound as well?A badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger mushroom mushroom!
(, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 10:40, Reply)
 As I see it, the only bonus to Red Nose Day
	As I see it, the only bonus to Red Nose DayIs that quite a few of the women in the next office are wearing very short red skirts, and they've brought in lots of cakes.
I've just spent 45 minutes in there 'fixing things'
In other news, I'm in the bad books of the person who sent an email round saying that we were all going to donate £1 to Comic Relief; my reply offered to (generously, I thought) round up my contribution to 2p from the 1.7241379310344p I calculated was due.
My explanation of the difference between 'we are all going to donate £1' and 'we are each going to donate £1' didn't go down especially well.
(, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 10:48, Reply)
 Mornin'
	Mornin'I need to buy four Red Nose Day car stickers, so I can assemble them into a Charity Cock on my housemate's car.
(, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 10:57, Reply)
 Hi Darras
	Hi DarrasApe, the jokes are getting worse now.
EDIT Charity cock, is that what blokes give to ugly desperate women?
(, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 10:58, Reply)
 Sound on the b3tamap
	Sound on the b3tamapMight be possible - you can put html in a description so it might let you embed an mp3...
(, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 11:09, Reply)
 Floats back in
	Floats back inI'm so bored. My computer is being slooooooooooooooooooooooooow as well :(
(, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 11:09, Reply)
 I was so bored
	I was so boredI answered the QOTW
b3ta.com/questions/pythonshame/post386893
I'm scratching my imaginary balls now
(, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 11:15, Reply)
 :(
	:(I did my best dance and used my best voice as well.
I like your entry, it's what some blokes do!
(, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 11:20, Reply)
 Baaaaad move.
	Baaaaad move.He was short, you wouldn't want people to judge your imaginary member based on that name.
(, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 11:27, Reply)
 Well I dig irony
	Well I dig ironyAnd my penis would be as big as all of Lord Faquaad
(, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 11:28, Reply)
 Did he
	Did henot have a rather large head?
EDIT A lot of blokes call their member 'little' though.
(, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 11:33, Reply)
 Mue you fucker
	Mue you fuckerYou've started a nestled reply trend again. I may have to come over there and shove my bearded penis up your ass
(, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 11:37, Reply)
 Lurking Kaol
	Lurking KaolLittle Kaol is great, he'll even eat out of my hand now, and is a lot less stabby than he used to. Sometimes he doesn't even bother to roll into a ball when he's picked up.
EDIT Hi Vampy *hugs*
I'm good today, just bored at work and wishing there was a woman under my desk to do stuff!
(, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 11:40, Reply)
 can we all stop this nesting business please
	can we all stop this nesting business pleaseSome of us are too reatrded to do it and it's not fair!
*gurns*
(, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 11:42, Reply)
 I'm doing a MBTi Maris Briggs
	I'm doing a MBTi Maris BriggsTest at the moment and it just asked me if I prefer hard of soft?
Is it trying to work out if I'm gay?
(, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 11:44, Reply)
 Say you like it hard.
	Say you like it hard.They might think you've got erectile dysfunction otherwise.
Then you'll not have a chance of sleeping your way to the top.
(, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 11:45, Reply)
 wow
	wowBy the way - how are you guys actually nesting like that? it's confusing and I can't do it /sads
Dok - Sorry - can't help you out there. Even if I could... well sorry I can't. /grins
(, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 11:49, Reply)
 Yeah Vampy
	Yeah VampyYou're too far away for me to pass work to under my desk, or to get me coffee when I want it.
I like mine long and sweaty, with a little bit of pain thrown in for good measure.
(, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 11:54, Reply)
 hmmmmm <a href="http://www.b3ta.com/questions/write.php?parent=38698" target="_blank">www.b3ta.com/questions/write.php?parent=38698</a>
	hmmmmm <a href="http://www.b3ta.com/questions/write.php?parent=38698" target="_blank">www.b3ta.com/questions/write.php?parent=38698</a>Did it work?
EDIT: aww.
EDIT EDIT: aww crap.
I'm a failure.
/goes to cry in the corner.
(, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 11:56, Reply)
 Ok, take the www.bt3a.com...parent=38698 bit
	Ok, take the www.bt3a.com...parent=38698 bitNow you're missing a number at the end there. Also you need to put it into your BROWSER, not the subject bar here.
(, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 11:59, Reply)
 It makes me feel safe.
	It makes me feel safe.Like I have diplomatic immunity, being from o'er the other side. I'm not ready to integrate with the locals yet.
(, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 12:00, Reply)
 Ape
	ApeYou need to change the reply number then hit enter. Are you hitting enter? You can hit it with your penis if you like
(, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 12:06, Reply)
 By jove I think I've got it!!
	By jove I think I've got it!!Still a bit of a pain to have to get out a pen and note down the nmber.
(, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 12:07, Reply)
 wow your penis makes a "dink"
	wow your penis makes a "dink"noise?
I didn't think they generally did that?!
(, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 12:09, Reply)
 It's as hard as Adamantium!
	It's as hard as Adamantium!can be a bit chilly at first though...
(, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 12:09, Reply)
 so when you come
	so when you comedoes a razor sharp bit of adamantium shoot out your wang?
EDIT: WOO FUCKING YAY!
(, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 12:11, Reply)
 There are products on the market
	There are products on the marketto mould your own willy into a dildo/vibrator.
I guess with some work you could get the cast to accept metal, although it could get tiring working a solid metal dildo, especially one as big as mine*
lies, all lies
(, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 12:11, Reply)
 I'd like to keep mine right where it is.
	I'd like to keep mine right where it is.In the jar under my pillow.
(, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 12:13, Reply)
 Wow Ape
	Wow Ape*imagines Dr. Arliss Loveless*
Where does he get those wonderfull toys?
(, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 12:12, Reply)
 Ape
	Apeat least when people went to kick you in the groin you'd have the last laugh
(, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 12:15, Reply)
 Having a thick metal rod kicked up into your bladder isn't that funny :(
	Having a thick metal rod kicked up into your bladder isn't that funny :((, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 12:16, Reply)
 Someone said "metal rod"?
	Someone said "metal rod"?news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/south_asia/7941440.stm
(, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 12:18, Reply)
 Hi all
	Hi all*waves frantically*
How is everyone? Still arguing about nested replies?
I hate today as I can't concentrate again because of Comic Relief stuff going on. This time there's a comedy DVD on loop in the room behind and people flitting in and out snarfing cakes.
Still, I'm out the office for a bit this afternoon.
(, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 12:35, Reply)
 I have been
	I have been(, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 12:38, Reply)
 I have deadlines to hit Vampers
	I have deadlines to hit VampersAnd it's all getting very noisy making it difficult to concentrate.
Normally I'd join in, but right now... it's been all bloody week!
And I'm outta here. Laters.
(, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 12:40, Reply)
 DG!
	DG!*waves so hard she falls off her chair*
Ooh that's where my giant oversized pen went!
(, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 12:40, Reply)
 EVERYONE LOOK AT ME.
	EVERYONE LOOK AT ME.MY LIFE IS SO EXCITING!!!
MY MUMMY IS TAKING ME OUT FOR LUNCH.
WE ARE GOING TO EAT NOODLES.
YEEEEESSSSSSS.
(, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 12:42, Reply)
 Regarding your sig...
	Regarding your sig...Does that mean it's not lesbian to touch another girls, if you touch yours afterwards?
(, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 12:44, Reply)
 I think that's a little bit lesbian.
	I think that's a little bit lesbian.But being a little bit lesbian is okay.
(, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 12:57, Reply)
 1,466 miles of driving later
	1,466 miles of driving laterI'm back.
And I've got a bootful of oranges *glees*
(, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 12:47, Reply)
 Lusty
	LustyI'd love noodles, but I've not got any :(
EDIT Or even oranges!
(, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 12:48, Reply)
 Poor you
	Poor youSometimes I dream of having orange noodles - orange in colour, orange in flavour.
Sometimes I don't.
(, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 12:55, Reply)
 Mmm smoothies
	Mmm smoothiesIt succeeded in properly confusing the HMRC guy at the channel tunnel :)
(, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 12:51, Reply)
 Unrelated mini-rant warning
	Unrelated mini-rant warningOoooh god how I hate people who draw on hire-music with fucking PEN. You assholes.
Mini-rant over!
(, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 12:51, Reply)
 Thanks ducky
	Thanks duckyI actually hadn't considered that I was too busy having an impotent rage. :D
(, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 12:54, Reply)
 *thinks*
	*thinks*I've got a very, very
It's not exactly the sort of thing I'm comfortable with admitting to though, so I may have to create a meatsock.
Edit: *smashes thread around head, minces into sock and humps sock furiously*
(, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 12:59, Reply)
 Afternoon mongs
	Afternoon mongsI is back, innit.
edit: dis town, aa-ah, is coming like a ghost town.
(, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 13:30, Reply)
 Oh I can't
	Oh I can'tI told the people in my office instead as they don't know any one involved
(, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 14:14, Reply)
 You spontaneously orgasmed
	You spontaneously orgasmedJust by thinking about me? Don't worry, it happens all the time.
(, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 14:17, Reply)
 Sorry
	SorryI can't be outraged unless I know whet to be outraged about, even then I don't know if I have the get up and go for it today.
*is lethargic*
(, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 14:22, Reply)
 Can I be
	Can I beOutraged AND enraged?
edit: like Dok I am also a bit lethargic so my rage may be restricted to saying "Grrr." in a lackadaisical fashion.
(, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 14:24, Reply)
 TGBTGBTGBTGBTGBTGBTGBTGBTGBTGB
	TGBTGBTGBTGBTGBTGBTGBTGBTGBTGBWhy do you never stray outside of the Home Sweet Home threads?
There's a whole world out there, you know.
(, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 14:24, Reply)
 Badger
	BadgerNo I don't, would you come and see if you can?
I'm a bit blue today, and I don't know why.
(, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 14:28, Reply)
 My first guess would have been
	My first guess would have beenbecause you feel safe and warm here, it's like your internet home and the other areas scare you.
My second guess would have been that your daddy touched you when you were little.
Dok, it's because you've been eating smurfs.
(, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 14:39, Reply)
 Well it wouldn't make the Smurfs
	Well it wouldn't make the Smurfsvery smurfing happy.
They're probably Smurfing themselves in terror.
(, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 14:46, Reply)
 Not really
	Not reallyHave you ever tried getting little blue poo stains out of tiny trousers?
It's incredibly difficult.
(, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 14:48, Reply)
 Surely you mean Smurfette?
	Surely you mean Smurfette?Unless you iz a ghey little people abuser?
Somebody call the Express!
(, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 14:52, Reply)
 Ape
	ApeThat would be Smurf, as there was only one female one.
Bert I'd just through them onthe fire, save on the cleaning.
(, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 14:52, Reply)
 I just got  a poo out of my arse all by myself, so there no cocks needed
	I just got  a poo out of my arse all by myself, so there no cocks needed*awards self gold star*
(, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 14:53, Reply)
 And she
	And shewas made by Gargamel the witch, so she'd be a right little smurfer, wouldn't she!
(, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 14:55, Reply)
 Smunk, love it!!
	Smunk, love it!!Do you think a chap could stain his man fat by only eating blue things for week?
That would freak the shit out a girl!
(, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 14:55, Reply)
 On those days Al
	On those days AlI have to get one of those little deli style ticket dispensers. I normally just lie back doing sudokus while they take it in turns to unload their hot loads in me
(, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 14:56, Reply)
 Al
	AlWhile I appreciate the attempts to bring me into a lively and progressive debate, and feel glad that finally a member of B3ta worthy of my presence has decided to stand up to me, I'm afraid that I cannot partake with you at this moment. Unfortunately my respect for you is too high, and I would be doing you a dis-service by lowering myself to insulting you.
Besides, she fucking loved it. Oh, and you're a cock.
(, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 14:56, Reply)
 Try it Ape
	Try it ApeThen inform us of the results.
It's the only way Badger, how else are you supposed to keep them in line.
EDIT No Shit Al, do you think we're all blind or something?
(, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 14:58, Reply)
 I'm picturing Ape
	I'm picturing ApeFellating the Blue Man Group while they play bongos and strike poses, which is what I imagine their act is.
(, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 14:58, Reply)
 *ruffles Al's hair*
	*ruffles Al's hair*that's so cute wanting to fight with all the big boys and girls
(, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 14:59, Reply)
 al
	aland all because the lady loves Drambuie.
It's terrible, go and make up with her at once, or I'll piss in your sandwiches.
(, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 15:00, Reply)
 Close chains
	Close chainsbut I've moved onto the poo man group, there similar but different...
(, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 15:00, Reply)
 You're on fire today al
	You're on fire today alI'm loving it!
EDIT I especially love that you didn't respond to me saying that your fiancee is only marrying you because I refused to defecate in her mouth in the thread above. You've got no balls, son.
(, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 15:02, Reply)
 Hey Al
	Hey AlMaybe you haven't been keeping up on recent events, and you also don't know me that well do you!
(, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 15:04, Reply)
 pffffft
	pffffftWhat are you talking about Dok, he's summed you up perfectly!
(, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 15:30, Reply)
 Cool
	CoolWhite with a bobble on it.
Just what I need, I may just slit my wrists.
Yeah Wookie, if you believe the opposite of everything Al says.
(, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 15:30, Reply)
 Yup, that's what the eight-year-old said.
	Yup, that's what the eight-year-old said.Mind you, your "I can make three fingers disappear" trick isn't all that impressive at the best of times.
(, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 15:37, Reply)
 It's not
	It's notSupposed to be impressive, especially when you're involved!
(, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 15:40, Reply)
 Hahaha
	HahahaYou wear a hat because mother nature was cruel enough to take your hair.
(, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 15:59, Reply)
 I wish I had as much venom as you do today al
	I wish I had as much venom as you do today alI'm just giggling at everything you say, it's terrible.
I surrender, I know when I'm beaten, and I'm proud that it was by you.
*doffs his I'm a worthless ugly dog raper who deserves to be kicked in the crotch hat*
(, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 16:07, Reply)
 Where did that come from then al?
	Where did that come from then al?Just interested. Not that I go on /talk; my old brain can't keep up with it.
(, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 16:25, Reply)
 I know my
	I know myperfect vag is often considered too good to be true, but *has a feel* I can confirm it does exist
(, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 16:39, Reply)
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