Hiya
I'm new, yay me!

Can anybody recommend who's posts are worth reading on QOTW?

Thank you
(Hotty, Tue 31 Mar 2009, 13:08, 45 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Any that are well structured I tend to read. And if I'm REALLY bored I'll read the others too.
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Tue 31 Mar 2009, 13:10, Reply)

Hello new person
Depends on your tastes really. I'd give a list, but I fear I might upset people by forgetting them!

However, Pooflake and SpankyHanky are consistently gigglesome at the moment.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 31 Mar 2009, 13:11, Reply)

I see that your eighteen?
*ahem* Would you like to come round to my place? I'll get you VERY drunk?

There's loads of good people on this here site - Pooflake appears to be on comedy inducing steroids at the moment, so check his stuff out.

Cheers,

Spanky
( SpankyHanky, Tue 31 Mar 2009, 13:16, Reply)

That depends on your tastes.
Some posters are more structured and follow the formal rules of writing than others. Some are more descriptive. Some are better with puns, while others tell stories of truly bizarre shit they've lived through.

Take a look through the Best Of pages on some of the older QOTWs and see whose style you like best.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Tue 31 Mar 2009, 13:17, Reply)

^ This is a good tip
The Loon speaks wisely.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 31 Mar 2009, 13:18, Reply)

Aha Spanky you slut!
I'd personally say it's worth reading all the posts, except the badly written ones, and the shit ones, and the boring ones, and the ones that don't answer the question, and any that contain rubbish puns or 'lol', and ones by The Goat, and ones which start 'YOU'RE FUCKING JOKING, RIGHT?'

And my posts... they're mostly shit.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 31 Mar 2009, 13:31, Reply)

Another way
get familiar with a few, stick them on your friends list, then you'll get to see what they've posted, and also what they have liked which in turn opens up your exposure to more posters. Good if you don't have time to trawl through every single page.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 31 Mar 2009, 13:34, Reply)

Hello new person
I can thoroughly recommend mine.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Tue 31 Mar 2009, 13:36, Reply)

Anybody but Kaol's
Welcome etc etc etc.

Cunt.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 31 Mar 2009, 13:39, Reply)

I was going to say the same thing
but modesty dictated otherwise!
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 31 Mar 2009, 13:40, Reply)

@PJM
And what about Chickenladies?
( girlinthehole, Tue 31 Mar 2009, 13:41, Reply)

I agree with Loon
Look at recent "Best of" pages. They give you an idea of what is popular round here and you might find someone you like. You can then visit their profile in true stalker-fashion and read through their old stuff. Adding them as "friends" makes this a lot easier too!

But anyway, trawling through QOTW you often find people who are missed out of the "Best of" page but have some hidden gems. The ones which make me chuckle are often not on the best of page, which probably says that I don't fit in round here, or somat. *paranoids*
(The Apeface Cherub is not a cunty-uber-cunt, Tue 31 Mar 2009, 13:46, Reply)

Ah they're lovely....
...and her posts aren't bad either.

Arf!
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Tue 31 Mar 2009, 13:47, Reply)

The current QOTW A-list
You'd want to be looking at SpankyHanky, Chickenlady, PJM, Enzyme, Vampyrecat, Pooflake and Legless plus plenty others I can't remember if you want funny, intersting, well written and thought provoking.


There are many other who don't post so much, but always crack me up - have a look around and you'll soon be able to spot writing styles of those that you like (I can spot a Spanky and Pooflake effort from miles off).

Read mine if you're having problems sleeping.
(Potty Jag har smör i min rumpspringa, Tue 31 Mar 2009, 14:06, Reply)

Don't forget.......
The Resident Loon
Che Grimsdale
Crackhouseceilehband
Lunar Jim
Frankspencer - if he comes back.

Edit - Don't read mine. They're shit but I like to share : )
( girlinthehole, Tue 31 Mar 2009, 14:12, Reply)

Just read the best of page each week

this route will prevent eye bleeding due to lack of paragraphs, lack of grammar, cunts, and non stories where someone describes something uninteresting related to the post then says, "sorry that wasn't funny", so why write it you twat badger?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 31 Mar 2009, 14:13, Reply)

Depends what you're after.
Intelligent rants, go with Enzyme.

Strange pun-based tales of faeces and depraved sexual acts, Pooflake.

Other people worth checking out include crackhouseceilidhband, scarpe, Devil In Tights and Captain Placid.
( Cawl, Tue 31 Mar 2009, 14:21, Reply)

I've been carefully avoiding naming names
because I don't want to be accused of arse kissing, or possibly causing hurt feelings by leaving anyone out.

I'd agree with the people that have been pointed out so far, but there are a lot of other really funny writers out here.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Tue 31 Mar 2009, 14:29, Reply)

Me too as far as possible
Wouldn't want to offend anyone :)

My other half has a potential tale for this weeks QOTW though, I'm trying to nudge her in that general direction since she hasn't posted for yonks.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 31 Mar 2009, 14:32, Reply)

I very much doubt anyone on here will get the hump if their name is not mentioned.
We're all far too grown up and sensible.


*grin*
( girlinthehole, Tue 31 Mar 2009, 14:33, Reply)

What Kaol, BGB and Hair Pot have said is correct.
That's not just because they're nice to me. It's because the people they've named are brilliant.

I've also spent time admiring Rakky, grandmasterfluffles, The Empress, and Rachelswipe - and when I'm not admiring them, I like what they write. (badum-tish!)

Bert, al, and Kaol are always good - and, if disasterprone ever turns up, read his stuff.

Um... and loads of other people. CHCB has to get a mention, obviously. SpankyHanky makes me laugh. Frankspencer. Scaryduck. And so on.

It's a shame the Goat's been banned. He was entertaining...
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Tue 31 Mar 2009, 14:35, Reply)

Also...
Don't read anything by Bertholemew. Ever. It'll rot your brain.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 31 Mar 2009, 14:40, Reply)

@Enzyme
He keeps coming back.

www.b3ta.com/users/profile.php?id=77601
( girlinthehole, Tue 31 Mar 2009, 14:40, Reply)

He was banned?
When did that happen? Jeez, he was a moonbat but at least he was fun to read...
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Tue 31 Mar 2009, 14:40, Reply)

Ooh
Has the Goat been banned then? I must have missed that. What was he banned for?
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 31 Mar 2009, 14:40, Reply)

Unfortunately
Like many great artists I am unappreciated in my own lifetime. Mainly cos I'm crap.

What Enzyme said though.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Tue 31 Mar 2009, 14:40, Reply)

@BGB
I think that's Friz...

(Evidence to follow in a mo' when I've found the link.)
EVIDENCE: www.b3ta.com/board/9320352
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Tue 31 Mar 2009, 15:02, Reply)

Ah!
Wasn't quite sure if it was him or a sheep in wolf's clothing. *laughs*
( girlinthehole, Tue 31 Mar 2009, 15:11, Reply)

@BGB
Sheep in wolf's goat's clothing, surely?
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Tue 31 Mar 2009, 15:18, Reply)

The other thing to remember
is that we're often accused of posting bollocks, lies and invented tales.

For an example of this I refer you to the tale I just posted.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Tue 31 Mar 2009, 15:18, Reply)

@DG
Goat was banned for threatening violence to... well, lots of people.

Also, he pissed off cr3. Never a good idea to piss off a mod...
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Tue 31 Mar 2009, 15:21, Reply)

Ah
I see. Silly Goat.

Has he really been banned, or is it all a conspiracy?
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 31 Mar 2009, 15:24, Reply)

The Goat
wasn't very amused when I called him Mr Goat.....knobhead!
( SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Tue 31 Mar 2009, 15:26, Reply)

Anyone else get the strange Gaz from the Goat today?
A few people on links did. I actually got a fairly pleasant reply from him when I told him why I had chosen to ignore him.
(Colonel Santiago Introduced surprised kitty to the world., Tue 31 Mar 2009, 15:32, Reply)

@Colonel
No gaz - not today, although he did gaz me on Friday quite a bit.

A few people on /board got today's as well.

Odd. I feel left out.
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Tue 31 Mar 2009, 15:39, Reply)

I found his website too
it's like travelling back to 1992 OMG INTERNETZ!!
(Colonel Santiago Introduced surprised kitty to the world., Tue 31 Mar 2009, 15:42, Reply)

Greetings
I am rude about poor spelling and grammar. Other than that I have no real function here.

You may wish to put me on ignore.


Thank you for reading.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 31 Mar 2009, 16:15, Reply)

Apologies for the lateness of reply...

It's just that after seeing my name mentioned above with such esteemed company...I've spent the last 2-and-a-half-hours wanking myself into a spaffy blur.

Thanks to all the above...

*checks Enzyme's reply*

*Does not see my name mentioned*

*cries*

Was it something I said?

@Hotty - it's a tough one, because sometimes newbies write amazing posts, and sometimes us regulars write some shite ones, so I'll cop out and suggest that you go along with what TRL says and check the best pages.
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Tue 31 Mar 2009, 16:25, Reply)

Hello Darling
How are you?

It must be Tuesday. You only ever come trolling on a Tuesday.
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Tue 31 Mar 2009, 16:36, Reply)

Agnostic Antichrist
I've just read your reply, and it's made me very very cross.

You tit.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 31 Mar 2009, 17:16, Reply)

Oh dear oh dear, Agnostic,
you're in for a bumpy ride now.

I'll buy you some pile cream and icecubes for when he's done.
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Tue 31 Mar 2009, 17:26, Reply)

I can't help it!
You're just too much fun to bait! You cock mongering, shit chewing, gary glitter loving, conservative.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 31 Mar 2009, 17:50, Reply)

@pooflake
My humblest apologies: I thought that by echoing what other eminent people had said, it'd be taken as read that I included you...

Hotty: POOFLAKE IS ACE. And he is not at all a homosexual body of water.
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Tue 31 Mar 2009, 19:34, Reply)

Me
ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME!!!!!!!!111one.
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Tue 31 Mar 2009, 21:55, Reply)

oh, wow! A girl. On the internet.
A/S/L?

LOL!
( Malaka omdz, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 21:42, Reply)