I have badger flu
been sneezing all morning and my usual source of sympathy isn't here so I am gonna need some from you guys.

Also why is Sunday TV shit?
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Sun 17 May 2009, 11:24, 80 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

*dishes out sympathy*
*big hugs for badger*

Becaue it's a cunning plan to bore us so badly that we go to church just for something to do.

Possibly.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Sun 17 May 2009, 11:27, Reply)

Pickleface!!
*huggles* It's not too bad when the F1 is on but otherwise it is just shit. How's you?
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Sun 17 May 2009, 11:28, Reply)

*loves the huggles*
Yeah, F1 cures most ills.

I'm ok thanks Badgerface, but it's been five weeks since I've seen my normal source of hugs and sympathy, but it's all coming together finally:)
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Sun 17 May 2009, 11:30, Reply)

* hugs badger so tight that she expells her entire flu in a single giant sneeze *
I do not own a telescreen but I have it on good faith that TV is rubbish so have another hug (this one more gentle than the last).
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Sun 17 May 2009, 11:32, Reply)

^^ this
Yes, the hangover explanation far more likely than my church-going one.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Sun 17 May 2009, 11:37, Reply)

there there pet
*passes TGB chicken soup*

;o)
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Sun 17 May 2009, 11:46, Reply)

Thanks Ma
:)
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Sun 17 May 2009, 12:12, Reply)

*huggles badgerface*
Hope you feel better soon poppet.
(Poppet some assembly required., Sun 17 May 2009, 11:48, Reply)

Get well soon TGB
Did you see Donna Air on "Something for the weekend"? Why has she forgotten she's a Geordie? Her posh(ish) accent was quite disconcerting to somebody who remembers her from her "Byker Grove" days.
( GarbageFan didn't know what to have as a board sig on, Sun 17 May 2009, 11:58, Reply)

No I have avoided all TV so far
The internet is providing light amusement so far
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Sun 17 May 2009, 12:16, Reply)

*dashes in*
Afternoon my lovely interwebbians!

*dishes out hugs and sympathy to all who require it*

And how are we this merry Sunday?
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Sun 17 May 2009, 12:20, Reply)

Afternoon HLT
you seem delightfully chipper
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Sun 17 May 2009, 12:22, Reply)

hello miss badger!
*huggles*

Why thank you, I am! Despite being at work...

how is your lovely self?
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Sun 17 May 2009, 12:27, Reply)

Not too bad thanks
apart from the sneezing and lack of nicotine :(
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Sun 17 May 2009, 12:40, Reply)

oh noes!
be strong!
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Sun 17 May 2009, 12:41, Reply)

Hullo Lady Tulip
*ensnuggles*

Nice drive into workies?
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Sun 17 May 2009, 12:34, Reply)

yes thank you Mr Keloid
it's all sunny and I managed not to murder any wildlife :)
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Sun 17 May 2009, 12:36, Reply)

Well done!
To be fair though, that's wildlife throwing themselves in front of your wee vee-hickle, rather than you having to control faunacidal urges!
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Sun 17 May 2009, 12:50, Reply)

ah yes
If the roe deer of the borders have got all fed up and bored because there's fuck all to do apart from throw themselves in front of knackered old volkswagens, there's not much I can do about it except accelerate
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Sun 17 May 2009, 13:13, Reply)

Well quite!
You were a bit shaken up though, bless your cotton socks!
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Sun 17 May 2009, 13:22, Reply)

I was a bit
and there is still fur/hair* on the front bumper


do deer have fur or hair?
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Sun 17 May 2009, 13:29, Reply)

I would say fur

( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Sun 17 May 2009, 13:33, Reply)

but it looks too long to be fur
what is the difference between hair and fur anyway?
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Sun 17 May 2009, 13:34, Reply)

hey there you lot...
to each and every one of you goes a bucketfull of joy, love, sympathy and hugs! (delete as applicable)

i am now in a tremendous mood following my site visit with the electrician. he was very impressed with all the work i've done, including all the wiring i have run. he has given me the okay to board all the ceilings and walls now he has inspected the wiring. it now looks like we might actually get moved out of this damp hovel and into our family home sometime soon!!!

i'm so chuffed that all the work i've done has been recognised by a fellow tradesperson as top class! i think i may well explode with smugness and joy!
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Sun 17 May 2009, 12:42, Reply)

hurrah!
that's awesome!
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Sun 17 May 2009, 12:48, Reply)

thankyou hlt
awesome indeed. 2 and a half years of blood, sweat and tears (literally) has gone into that project. and all the hard work and carefull planning is paying off!!

Yeeeeeeeehaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Sun 17 May 2009, 12:54, Reply)

that must be so rewarding
I hope you are having a celebratory drinky :)
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Sun 17 May 2009, 13:01, Reply)

Yays!
*huggles* that's great!

Tulip! how goes it my lovely? *smooshes*
(Poppet some assembly required., Sun 17 May 2009, 12:51, Reply)

cheers vc
hugs back, "forgets" to let go, tumesces, blushes, apologises...
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Sun 17 May 2009, 12:55, Reply)

/chuckles
'sok Blair. Your wife is over there /points back behind you.
She can't see. :P
(Poppet some assembly required., Sun 17 May 2009, 12:57, Reply)

oops!
just got away with that...
it can be our little secret?

emphasis on little LOL
x
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Sun 17 May 2009, 13:00, Reply)

hola miss cat
and how is your fine self?

*pounces*

*smooshes*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Sun 17 May 2009, 13:02, Reply)

I is goodly
am talking to my favourite of favourite people :D

*licks*
*gives cakes*
(Poppet some assembly required., Sun 17 May 2009, 13:03, Reply)

what a coincidence
so am I :D

ooh cake! thank you poppet!

*licks your face in gratitude*

*shares*

*noms*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Sun 17 May 2009, 13:06, Reply)

why do I get the feeling...
that this G&T contest we eventually will be having will involve face licking?

Not that I'm complaining mind you.
(Poppet some assembly required., Sun 17 May 2009, 13:08, Reply)

because that's how we take our gin here in the northern hemisphere
didn't you know?

gin on face first, then tonic, then two slices of lime, one on each cheek just below the ears.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Sun 17 May 2009, 13:11, Reply)

but but but
the limes wouldn't stick!
(Poppet some assembly required., Sun 17 May 2009, 13:14, Reply)

they would
if you did it lying down
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Sun 17 May 2009, 13:15, Reply)

hmmm you'd need to lick fast
to make sure none of the alcohol was spilled on the floor then!
(Poppet some assembly required., Sun 17 May 2009, 13:19, Reply)

*asplodes*
That is all.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Sun 17 May 2009, 13:22, Reply)

*mends*
tsk. On a Sunday as well.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Sun 17 May 2009, 13:27, Reply)

Fankoo!
Much better!

Goodness, what a mess!
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Sun 17 May 2009, 13:29, Reply)

No, it flows the other way up here
silly
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Sun 17 May 2009, 13:22, Reply)

oh
well allright then.

/hands beeks a box full of tissues to clean up his asplosion
(Poppet some assembly required., Sun 17 May 2009, 13:25, Reply)

don't worry, we shan't spill any
although BK might throw some at you.

it's just his way.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Sun 17 May 2009, 13:32, Reply)

I hope he doesn't
I may get all oversensitive and choked up and teary.
and will need several stiff ones drinks before I can even start!
(Poppet some assembly required., Sun 17 May 2009, 13:34, Reply)

*huffs*
You're never going to let me forget that are you?

Ihappened to jog my elbow on the doorframe and accidentally spattered you with a small quantity of sloe gin!

*indignants*
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Sun 17 May 2009, 13:35, Reply)

awww poor beeks.
MTFU. :)
luff you really.
(Poppet some assembly required., Sun 17 May 2009, 13:36, Reply)

nope
Small quantity?

you slopped a goodly half of it all over me!

and it was PINK

It was a good thing I didn't have a white top on.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Sun 17 May 2009, 13:39, Reply)

I bet he wished
that it *was* white.
(Poppet some assembly required., Sun 17 May 2009, 13:44, Reply)

*mans up*
Actually yeah, just as well it wasn't a white top.

To be fair, I could have made a, 'lets get you out of those wet clothes', gag!
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Sun 17 May 2009, 13:45, Reply)

I can't even remember which top it was
But yeah, you did miss an opportunity!

Oooh, what happens if we keep replying? do the replies end up completely squished at the side of the page?
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Sun 17 May 2009, 13:50, Reply)

Dammit!
Hindsight is a wonderful thing!

Hopefully, it'll go 'DING' and send us back to the other side of the page like a typrwriter!
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Sun 17 May 2009, 13:53, Reply)

yup - it ends up like talk :(
hard to read.
(Poppet some assembly required., Sun 17 May 2009, 13:53, Reply)

well whose idea was that?
it's stoooooooooooooooopid
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Sun 17 May 2009, 13:55, Reply)

Oooooooh!
I made it do a thing!
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Sun 17 May 2009, 13:58, Reply)

Hugs for sick badgers
Don't go givin yer TB to any o moi cows
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Sun 17 May 2009, 12:57, Reply)

I'll give it to
whomever I like

*sulks*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Sun 17 May 2009, 13:14, Reply)

Pfft !
And they say the home sweet home thread is dead.

*dishes out mint aero balls*


My favourite at the moment.
( girlinthehole, Sun 17 May 2009, 13:36, Reply)

*noms Aero balls*
*snickers at the word balls*
How are you BGB?
*huggles*
(Poppet some assembly required., Sun 17 May 2009, 13:37, Reply)

I'm fine hon.
Had a run, a bath and my dinner and now I shall watch TV, if I can find anything. I may just have an Alien afternoon and watch all the Alien boxed set.
( girlinthehole, Sun 17 May 2009, 13:44, Reply)

icky Alien
*shudders*
(Poppet some assembly required., Sun 17 May 2009, 13:45, Reply)

Ooh I love those Aero balls
I have ridiculously chocolatey fox's cookies atm nom nom
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Sun 17 May 2009, 13:41, Reply)

ssssshhh
they might hear you!

this is the, erm, Completely Unfluffeh Nasty Thread.

*giggles*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Sun 17 May 2009, 13:44, Reply)

question.
are you a tad drunk at all tulip dear?
(Poppet some assembly required., Sun 17 May 2009, 13:46, Reply)

no!
I'm at work!

*shocks*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Sun 17 May 2009, 13:48, Reply)

So?
I've been a tad drunk at work before... *is actually a lie. I was only a little tipsy!*
(Poppet some assembly required., Sun 17 May 2009, 13:50, Reply)

Erm, no
I'd get sacked.

And then probably done for DUI.

So no, all round - a Bad Idea.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Sun 17 May 2009, 13:56, Reply)

in all fairness
my boss was the one who got me tipsy. Showing me how to make drinks for my bartending traineeship and then making me "taste" them to see what they should be like.
And I don't have to drive.
(Poppet some assembly required., Sun 17 May 2009, 13:59, Reply)

@ tulip
Indeed it is!

*horrids*
*nasties*

Yer mum etc.

Think I've covered the track there:)
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Sun 17 May 2009, 13:55, Reply)

you're SO nasty!
*cries*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Sun 17 May 2009, 13:57, Reply)

*soothes*
*wipes tears away*

No, I can't keep up the pretence!

*fluffehs*
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Sun 17 May 2009, 14:01, Reply)

Fluffeths and huggles and internet cake
FTW. Screw the evil fuckers who don't like it they don't appear to be here
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Sun 17 May 2009, 13:56, Reply)

^^
Maybe they're at church:D
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Sun 17 May 2009, 14:03, Reply)

^^
either that or telling their real life friends how to have conversations

"No, you can't reply in a polite and linear way, we've all to have 8 million conversations all at once, and oh, if I don't like it, or I get bored, I'm going to assume the power of veto, forbid it, expect you all to comply, and then bitch about it endlessly if I don't like that either"
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Sun 17 May 2009, 14:10, Reply)

Wow, MIss Tulip
That's very vociferous:)

One of the many reasons you're all of the fun!
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Sun 17 May 2009, 14:37, Reply)

why thank you
*looks around shiftily*

Want to hear a secret?

you know the mysterious, unassuming, secret person who secretly rules the interwebs from a garden shed somewhere at the other end of the universe?

*looks round shiftily again*

Well...


... it's not me.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Sun 17 May 2009, 14:40, Reply)

You mean.,....
You fibbed?

*giggles*
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Sun 17 May 2009, 14:42, Reply)

that's right, I fibbed
it IS me, and if you don't all do as I say, well, there's not much I can do about it!

Bwahahahaha!
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Sun 17 May 2009, 14:45, Reply)