The Awakening
When did it first happen for you? The first time that you realised that the opposite sex weren't icky, smelly things?

I think for me it was when I watched the film 'Trading Places', and Jamie Lee Curtis took her top off. This was followed, a few years later, by her unforgettable striptease in the film 'True Lies'.

Thank you, Jamie Lee Curtis. You may not have known it, but you made me a man.
(Slip Digby is a meat puppet, Tue 19 May 2009, 11:22, 86 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

When I realised
that by giggling and stroking their arm they would buy me alcohol.
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 19 May 2009, 11:23, Reply)

^This
Hahahahahaha
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Tue 19 May 2009, 11:24, Reply)

OH GOD YOU SEE RIGHT THROUGH ME ! LIKE I'M NOT EVEN THERE !
/ac
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 19 May 2009, 11:28, Reply)

Wait a moment!
I think I fell for this too.

Would again though ;)
( djtrialprice, Tue 19 May 2009, 11:30, Reply)

I'll stroke
more than your arm sugarpie ;)
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 19 May 2009, 11:33, Reply)

But you curse and punch my arm
When you want me to buy you a drink.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 19 May 2009, 11:31, Reply)

Because you are special
So get a special kind of love *smiles*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 19 May 2009, 11:32, Reply)

The tough love?

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 19 May 2009, 11:40, Reply)

Watch out when women do that.
It means that they REALLY like you : )
( girlinthehole, Tue 19 May 2009, 11:33, Reply)

She loves me like the brother she never wanted

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 19 May 2009, 11:41, Reply)

It's true
but for Ma and Pa's sake I try and keep the bruising to non visable areas
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 19 May 2009, 11:43, Reply)

You'd better
Ma and Pa love me.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 19 May 2009, 11:44, Reply)

They tell you that
because they have to
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 19 May 2009, 11:46, Reply)

NO, stupidpants
They love me best of all their adopted children!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 19 May 2009, 11:58, Reply)

Seeing my brother's poster of Debbie Harry on his wall, circa 1982
I was only eight years old, but life was never quite the same.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Tue 19 May 2009, 11:24, Reply)

In my uncles pub
Age 14 - sipping a coke, a middle aged woman came up to me and started chatting. Something seemed to click then and I realised that all those curves looked pretty nice. That was also the night I discovered vodka, and that women are tricksy creatures who would steal the precious.
(Potty Jag har smör i min rumpspringa, Tue 19 May 2009, 11:26, Reply)

Ten years old
A Helmut Newton picture. Mum binned it :(

As the Beastie Boys put it, "busted".

And then I discovered page 3, and then... well the rest is very private but the experience stayed with me and earned me a lifelong appreciation of boobies!

Oh yes, and Claire Grogan in Red Dwarf. Oh. My. God.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Tue 19 May 2009, 11:26, Reply)

I think I'm probably the only bloke I know who was never bothered about Page 3.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 19 May 2009, 11:32, Reply)

Dude.
Page Free is a Nashernal Instertewshun!
(Slip Digby is a meat puppet, Tue 19 May 2009, 11:37, Reply)

So is the queen on the back of a note, but you don't see me oogling that eaither.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 19 May 2009, 11:39, Reply)

TRAITOR!
Hang 'im! Spike 'is 'ead ahtside the Tower of Blady Landaan!

The Queen is a fox and you know it.
(Slip Digby is a meat puppet, Tue 19 May 2009, 11:43, Reply)

Oh yes.
Yes, I would do one.
(Potty Jag har smör i min rumpspringa, Tue 19 May 2009, 11:44, Reply)

Gonz... I was 12 to be fair.

( jim_bob can herd cats., Tue 19 May 2009, 11:49, Reply)

I preffered the tramp porn we always found by the cricket fields.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 19 May 2009, 12:09, Reply)

They are still icky smelly things.
I've just learnt to ignore that about them.
( girlinthehole, Tue 19 May 2009, 11:27, Reply)

Watching Fun House
with that cunt Pat Sharpe - no, not him... he didn't do it for me. But the blonde twins they had on chucking buckets of soapy water over the kiddies, well, I wanted to marry them. Both.


And then fuck um.
( SpankyHanky, Tue 19 May 2009, 11:28, Reply)

I work in the same building
as Pat Sharpe.

He thinks he's cool with his Nissan 350Z. Just wait until I get a Honda Accord and park next to him.
( djtrialprice, Tue 19 May 2009, 11:31, Reply)

Oooooooh...
Can we kidnap him?
Pleeeeeaaaaase?
And hook him up to a car battery.
( Cawl, Tue 19 May 2009, 11:32, Reply)

I'll gaz you the address
and not mention this conversation to the filth.
( djtrialprice, Tue 19 May 2009, 11:39, Reply)

Does he still have his power-mullet?

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 19 May 2009, 11:40, Reply)

Alas
No
( djtrialprice, Tue 19 May 2009, 11:42, Reply)

He's dead to me

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 19 May 2009, 11:43, Reply)

He got rid of
it agggggges ago. Keep up.
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 19 May 2009, 11:45, Reply)

Crikey
What's Pat Sharpe do these days?

I've always wondered what people do after they've made it slightly. It's not like they can go back to delivering Dominos part time...
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Tue 19 May 2009, 11:40, Reply)

He's a DJ
for Heart radio (for East Anglia / south Cambridgeshire at least)
( djtrialprice, Tue 19 May 2009, 11:43, Reply)

Holy fuck YES
I would have done unspeakably depraved acts of carnal debasement to them.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 19 May 2009, 11:32, Reply)

I preffer the girls from House.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 19 May 2009, 11:40, Reply)

repeats of Monty Python in the early 90s
Carol Cleveland.

mmmmmmmmmm
( djtrialprice, Tue 19 May 2009, 11:28, Reply)

Personaly, I resent the accusation that I'm made of Slugs and Snails and Puppy Dog Tales.
I am NOT made out of them, except maybe Puppy Dog Tales, there is deffo a bit of that in me.

I AM made out of Sugar and Spice and All Things Nice. FACT.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 19 May 2009, 11:30, Reply)

*licks*
Needs more spice
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 19 May 2009, 11:34, Reply)

*Applys Cinamon*
And how are you doing lovely?
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 19 May 2009, 11:38, Reply)

All the better now you're here :p
Actually not very well but I'll get over it *mans the fuck up*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 19 May 2009, 11:39, Reply)

Oh babes, all the most fabulous people have head wrongs.
I don't know about you, but with me it's the knowledge that I'm practacly perfect in every single way, and as such, I'm limited by the amount of people I can grace with my presance, and I doom the rest of the world to not having that pleasure... in fact, this was how The Class System was created.

I imagine your probs is very similar, and it can be cured by MOJITOS.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 19 May 2009, 11:43, Reply)

This made me smile lots!
Thanks *huggles*

So you buying the Mojitos? *stokes arm*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 19 May 2009, 11:47, Reply)

Watch out for that one.
If he asks you if you like Chinese food... run for the hills.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Tue 19 May 2009, 11:53, Reply)

Pisty baby, do YOU like chinese food?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 19 May 2009, 11:55, Reply)

Always have, Gonzypoos, always have.
*licks*
( jim_bob can herd cats., Tue 19 May 2009, 11:56, Reply)

*Strokes your arm, plays with my hair*
I'll have a [everything on the left hand side of the menu], thank you darling.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 19 May 2009, 12:08, Reply)

You're ON !
=D
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 19 May 2009, 11:54, Reply)

Probably
Debbie Harry in the video for Heart of Glass. I was 7/8
(Eds Meds Mathskillz=1,Socialskillz=0, Tue 19 May 2009, 11:34, Reply)

would
*boing*
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Tue 19 May 2009, 11:46, Reply)

Shamefully, watching Michael J. Fox
But not as Marty McFly...Oh no...as Teen Wolf. *spangs self*
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 19 May 2009, 11:36, Reply)

I'm no bumtard, but he would DEFFO on my "if I was, innit, you know, one of 'em, I'm not, just sayin' like, but _if_ I was" list.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 19 May 2009, 11:53, Reply)

But in teen wolf?
*shudders*
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 19 May 2009, 11:55, Reply)

He's so dreamy that I forget the rest of the film.
It's such a shame that his later careea ended up in second-rate sitcoms.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 19 May 2009, 12:01, Reply)

Hey, I liked Spin city

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 19 May 2009, 12:05, Reply)

It's no Kings of Queens.
*has EVERY eppisode on his hard drive*
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 19 May 2009, 12:06, Reply)

Because king of queens is RUBBISH

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 19 May 2009, 12:10, Reply)

No, You're rubbish, they're rubbish, the entire whole god damn system is rubbish (except King of Queens).

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 19 May 2009, 12:14, Reply)

Pfft
*adds gonzo to the shit list*
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 19 May 2009, 12:30, Reply)

SADDEST OF SAD FACES

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 19 May 2009, 12:55, Reply)

He is in Rescue Me
now though. WIN! Denis Leary WIN MORE
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 19 May 2009, 12:12, Reply)

Is that the one with that girl who's like the Grim Reaper?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 19 May 2009, 12:15, Reply)

Probably Carol Decker from T'Pau
The picture on the front of a cassette made me feel tingly in my swimsuit area.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 19 May 2009, 11:37, Reply)

would
*boing*
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Tue 19 May 2009, 11:46, Reply)

"Don't push too hard..."
Stiiiiiiiiiiff!
(Slip Digby is a meat puppet, Tue 19 May 2009, 11:49, Reply)

Glad I'm not the only one

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 19 May 2009, 11:51, Reply)

Just googled it
If I had encountered that as a nipper, that would have done said funny things.
(Potty Jag har smör i min rumpspringa, Tue 19 May 2009, 11:54, Reply)

It?! IT?!!!
Have some respect for my first love!!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 19 May 2009, 11:57, Reply)

Sorry, sorry!
Is "the thing" acceptable?
(Potty Jag har smör i min rumpspringa, Tue 19 May 2009, 11:59, Reply)

Just thought of another one...
Kylie Minogue, on the cover of her first album, in the 'I should be so lucky' era.

This was ruined for me, though, when a friend told me he wiped his wang on the cover of the cassette while murmuring "I should be so lucky, lucky, lucky, lucky..."
(Slip Digby is a meat puppet, Tue 19 May 2009, 11:45, Reply)

I remember it well.
Saturday June 7th 1969. My 10th birthday. As a special treat I could take 3 mates to Wimpy for a burger followed by a cinematic extravaganza. A double bill of Dr No and Thunderball.
As I watched the glorious Ursula Undress rise from the waves I felt a strange stirring (a couple of years before the real stiffenening bacame instantly obvious but thereby hangs another tail). She truly was a goddess come to earth and ever since "Underneath the mango tree" has also held a special place as a musical aphrodisiac.
Thanks for reminding me.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Tue 19 May 2009, 11:58, Reply)

When I first started watching ER, aged 8
And there was George Clooney in all his mumbling head-tilting glory.
Even now, he can still do funny things to me...
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 19 May 2009, 12:01, Reply)

My Mum
Fancies him. And for some reason, Colin Firth and Matthew McFayden.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Tue 19 May 2009, 12:05, Reply)

My mum used to fancy him too.
That's what made it a little bit odd.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 19 May 2009, 12:08, Reply)

Odd for you, brilliant for him!

( jim_bob can herd cats., Tue 19 May 2009, 12:31, Reply)

This:
www.b3ta.com/questions/schooltrips/post68011
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 19 May 2009, 12:13, Reply)

The Grattans Catalogue 1977
Not just the womens underwear section but also the showers and sunbeds offered buttock and sideboob action.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 19 May 2009, 12:22, Reply)

Sideboob are win.
Plus seethrough brassieres brasierres tit-cups were a delight to behold.
(TheColonel, Tue 19 May 2009, 13:57, Reply)

Kelly McGillis in 'Witness'
possibly not my earliest but a significant one, nonetheless.

Her black Amish dress tumbling downwards as she bathed and her turning around to present Harrison Ford with a deliciously pert pair of neat but sufficient norks was the perfect metaphor for my loss of innocence.
(bazmorningstar efil4nat3b, Tue 19 May 2009, 12:58, Reply)

Sally James
So much more special than that bird from Swap Shop (the one that married Cheggers)
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 19 May 2009, 13:40, Reply)

1981.....

Clare Grogan and Dee Hepburn in Gregory's Girl.
(Kia Ora it's 2 orangey 4 crows, it's just 4 me and my dog, Tue 19 May 2009, 13:52, Reply)

I really don't remember a time
when I wasn't interested in the opposite sex.

I have always been very interested in girls/women. Even at 5 yrs old I always wanted them to be nice to me (I always looked too). Of course what I considered actually being "nice to me" has changed considerably over the years. When I was 4 or 5 I knew I wanted something, but wasn't quite sure what it was. By the time I was about 12 I knew what I wanted but it was for the most part theoretical for what seemed like an age to me then.
(MichaelS wasn't picked again, Tue 19 May 2009, 13:53, Reply)

*confused*
i put my willy in jam and it gets warm
(TheColonel, Tue 19 May 2009, 13:59, Reply)

Aged about 7 or 8...
... Rachel (I think her name was) showed me a bruise at hip-level by hitching her skirt right up her leg in the park. Gave me a totally unexpected rush that I utterly failed to understand but can still remember.
( Ugi , it's a game of give and cake, Tue 19 May 2009, 16:23, Reply)