Lovely people of OT
What is the worst book you have ever read?

I have two, The Tenderness of Wolves by Stef Penney and Maiden's Grave by Jeffery Deaver
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 14 Jul 2009, 17:08, 29 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Great Expectations
Thought it was wank.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 14 Jul 2009, 17:09, Reply)

^this
I had to do it for A-Level and I refused to finish it and answered essays on it based entirely on the study notes and I still won.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 14 Jul 2009, 17:10, Reply)

Hehe
I did something similar with Lord of the Flies... I just didn't really like it so read through random notes, fumbled my way through the exam and still got an A! Ba-zing!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 14 Jul 2009, 17:12, Reply)

Luckily I dropped english after GCSE...
So the only books I ever had to study in later years were Catcher In The Rye and Wuthering Heights!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 14 Jul 2009, 17:13, Reply)

Aww
man, I would have much rather read Catcher In The Rye than Lord of the Flies. I actually don't mind Catcher, even though nothing really happens in the book, other than him wandering around calling everyone phonies.
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 14 Jul 2009, 17:15, Reply)

Of Mice and Men too.
And An Inspector Calls. Fucking dreary. I actually think I hated anything I was made to read...
( Maladicta, Tue 14 Jul 2009, 17:16, Reply)

I had
to read An Inspector Calls too, wasn't really a fan either.

I did enjoy reading Romeo and Juliet and A Midsummer Nights Dream, I think the other half of my year got to read Macbeth and Hamlet though, which I would have liked to read!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 14 Jul 2009, 17:21, Reply)

Pride and Prejudice.
Utter utter wank. And its bastard child Bridget Jones can fuck right off too.
( Maladicta, Tue 14 Jul 2009, 17:13, Reply)

I recently
read Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, that was quite a silly read... pepped up P&P but not enough.
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 14 Jul 2009, 17:17, Reply)

I'm curious about that.
It could well make P&P bearable...
( Maladicta, Tue 14 Jul 2009, 17:46, Reply)

*dons flameproof suit*
I really couldn't stand To Kill a Mockingbird.

worst book recently was Nemesis by Bill Napier. fucking dreadful
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 14 Jul 2009, 17:14, Reply)

All Star Wars novels
that are set after ROTJ.
( SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Tue 14 Jul 2009, 17:16, Reply)

The Bible

That is all


Apart from all other religeous texts, which I haven't read but are more than likely equally gash.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 14 Jul 2009, 17:19, Reply)

The Vampire Armand
by Anne Rice. I got half way through it and NOTHING HAD HAPPENED. Still not finished it.

I quite enjoyed the first three or four in the series though.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 14 Jul 2009, 17:25, Reply)

Ah
I have heard this from other people too, including one die hard goth who would usually never speak ill of Anne Rice, so it must be bad!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 14 Jul 2009, 17:29, Reply)

It was awful.
She's given up the Vampire obsession and gone all religious now. Completely disowns the books.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 14 Jul 2009, 17:31, Reply)

what an arse
particularly as one of the books had Lestat drinking the blood of christ
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 14 Jul 2009, 17:40, Reply)

it is shit
I quite enjoyed most of the others, but this one goes like this:

Young boy taken from russian parents by slave traders and bought by gay old man vampire.
while still human, gay old man vampire tosses the boy off and takes him to brothels to shag men and women.
boy gets stabbed by gay bloke he is shagging
boy gets turned into vampire
things are set on fire
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 14 Jul 2009, 17:32, Reply)

It was so awful I'd forgotten the details.
Now I'm not tempted to go and try and read it again.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 14 Jul 2009, 17:37, Reply)

I forget the title...
But it was some godawful fantasy novel, the kind that read like the author has a basic template for every book he writes and changes a couple of minor details and names each time. It was the only damn thing that looked interesting and I had a 7 hour journey with nothing to do but read it. I don't think I finished it.
(Fredz A graveyard of hopes, a dump of ambition, Tue 14 Jul 2009, 17:30, Reply)

Money by Martin Amis
Supposed to be a classic but I just don't see anything likeable.

Hello btw everyone, I'm just back from T in the Park where I spent 4 days constantly drunk. Also very sunburnt and have the rest of the week off! yay!
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Tue 14 Jul 2009, 17:50, Reply)

The first 54 pages of The Da Vinci Code
Having avoided it for ages as it sounded crap I was eventually talked into reading it by someone who's opinion I had respected up until that fateful day.

I got to page 54 and by then was just about ready to find the author and beat him to death with a copy of Creative Writing for Dummies but instead ended up phoning the person who had told me how good it was and ranted down the phone at them for five minutes about how they wouldn't know a good book if it hit them round the head like their copy of this pile of womblewank would next time I saw them.

{And Breathe}
(bill, Tue 14 Jul 2009, 17:53, Reply)

If Dan Brown bothers you,
do not read Twilight. Oh GOD the purple prose. It burns.
( Maladicta, Tue 14 Jul 2009, 17:57, Reply)

Thanks for the heads up,
Not my style anyway but good to know that it wouldn't suit regardless!
(bill, Tue 14 Jul 2009, 22:21, Reply)

Ulysses by James Joyce
Read it twice as I thought I must have just missed the point the first time.

I still think there isn't one!
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 14 Jul 2009, 19:00, Reply)

The Story Of The Eye.
Is just a horrible and fecund book.
(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 14 Jul 2009, 22:19, Reply)

Executive Orders
by Tom Clancy. I went through the typical teenage boy stage of loving his gung-ho action movies (starring Harrison Ford as Jack Ryan) so I assumed the then-latest book would be a similar riot.

Instead, I was treated to a *massive* brick of pulped wood containing impenetrable and uninteresting subplot developments with no relevance to the main story, endless reams of military and technical jargon that is never explained, and the most unsatisfying and anticlimactic ending in all of modern literature. The characters... don't get me started on the *DOZENS* of characters too.

The pace of the first few chapters is actually rather good and he more-or-less predicted the events of September 2001 (back in 1996). However, at the point where the protagonists and antagonists are identified and the main story begins, it would appear his editor stopped reading and just assumed the rest of the book --all 1376 pages of it-- followed suit. Instead, it spirals out of control into a boring neo-con ultra-patriotic propaganda device.
( chart cat has an itch, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 3:11, Reply)

Oh c'mon
You've obviously not read "The bear and the dragon" - which follows it on.

Now that's even worse.
(james_tiger_woods is going to start his killing spree on the, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 13:18, Reply)

"Stupid white men" - Michael Moore
This is simply the worst book I've ever had the misfortune to buy, pick up and try to read - it starts out promising, but then decends in to the kind of mind numbing, brainless ranting that I myself would be proud of.

I read about a quarter of the book as I always like to give a book (that I've paid for) a chance - and then decided that not reading it and lying face down in a pool of warm cow shit would be more preferable.

I didn't even give it away to charity - it remains the ONLY book I've ever binned, not recycled - binned.
(james_tiger_woods is going to start his killing spree on the, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 13:20, Reply)