Going to the doctor's soon
I need to renew my prescription for my anti-epileptic medication. Also, I need to book an appointment with the nurse for my annual bloodtest as my thyroid is packing up, so I take hormones for that. Plus I want to see if the results are back for the chest X-Ray and ECG test after I had a heart palpitation.

How shit is your health / what ailments do you suffer?

Edit: I missed out the occasional trigeminal neuralgia.

Edit: The anti-epileptic medication comprises of blue diamond pills that look like Viagra
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 14:26, 53 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I'm not going to answer because it will be deemed smug

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 14:29, Reply)

he says, smugly.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 14:29, Reply)

I'll smug you

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 14:33, Reply)

You'd smug her in such a smug way it would be unbearable

(Bazongaloid, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 14:41, Reply)

same way I smugged ym
almost sounds like smugging is smuggling, but on a larger scale.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 14:43, Reply)

None,
I'm healthy as an ox or other domesticated animal.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 14:29, Reply)

Other than random migranes,
And acid refux, everything else seems to be working fine.
Apart from my cock not doing that pre-cum thing, obviously.
( Cawl, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 14:31, Reply)

Omeprazole win.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 14:33, Reply)

Omeprazole fail.
Gives me headaches.
( Cawl, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 14:34, Reply)

I want you to explain all of this to me
It sounds brilliant.
(Richard Earl of Cambridge Cruel, Savage, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 14:36, Reply)

Do I have to?

( Cawl, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 14:36, Reply)

Aww go on.
I want to mock you.
(Richard Earl of Cambridge Cruel, Savage, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 14:37, Reply)

The pre-cum thing is a meme, btw.

( Cawl, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 14:37, Reply)

So...
I get bad headaches. *shrugs*
Not that interesting.

And I get stomach acid come up my pipes sometimes.
Not that interesting.
( Cawl, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 14:40, Reply)

Renitadene is your friend
I carry some with me everywhere in case I want to eat a bananana.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 14:41, Reply)

I'll keep that in mind.
The only time it really pisses me off is when I'm laying down.
Sleeping on your left for the win.
( Cawl, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 14:46, Reply)

Rosacea
I'm pale. I'm used to it. I quite like it. I don't, however, like turning 30 and getting some weird condition where my face randomly turns red and the sun reduces it to an itchy, lumpy face of fear.
I'm now on occasional antibiotics and have to regularly paint my face with Ready-Brek and honey. I will stay pale, goddamnit.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 14:32, Reply)

You're being serious aren't you?

(Richard Earl of Cambridge Cruel, Savage, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 14:35, Reply)

Haha yes!
I actually wash my face with ready-Brek and honey because everything else burns my face!
Oh! I am actually laughing now. Ok so I've actually become a crazy herbal cat lady, but I didn't mean to! Leave your Birkenstocks at the door and help yourself to some flowery tea.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 14:47, Reply)

Your body sounds pretty fucked up.
Sometimes I take paracetamol, more for a laugh than anything else.
(Richard Earl of Cambridge Cruel, Savage, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 14:32, Reply)

I'm awesome
and only have to go to the doc's once a year for my anti baby pills

*becomes smugger than Vipros causing a smug vortex that destroys the world*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 14:34, Reply)

You're a girl?
Wow.
(Richard Earl of Cambridge Cruel, Savage, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 14:34, Reply)

( Cawl, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 14:36, Reply)

You would have thought her sig would have given it away.

( girlinthehole, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 14:37, Reply)

hahah
still gets me laughing every time
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 14:37, Reply)

It was more a wow of
I thought you were a man.
(Richard Earl of Cambridge Cruel, Savage, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 14:37, Reply)

Pffft.
Best. Moobs. Ever!
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 14:39, Reply)

Well you were wrong
I hope you feel stupid
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 14:40, Reply)

It's a little touch'n'go there, but yup, you're right.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 14:42, Reply)

Don't get me wrong
It's a good thing that you are making sure you don't breed, but surely anti-baby pills are a bit redundant in your case?
On the off-chance you find someone with a massive enough schlong to fill it up, you'd have to hope that poor bastard wanted to put it anywhere near you.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 14:42, Reply)

...
Bit harsh.
( Cawl, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 14:44, Reply)

He's only pissed off because a girl beat him at being smug.

( girlinthehole, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 14:45, Reply)

I wasn't sure about it as I was writing it
you are probably right

*profers more apologies, also useful to spite Kaol*
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 14:46, Reply)

I am right.
This is kinda spiteful.
Don't delete it though, or you've got less balls than Edmund.
( Cawl, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 14:47, Reply)

I only delete things that make me look like a complete idiot
and then not if someone has replied :-P
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 14:50, Reply)

That's a fuck-load of deleting.

( Cawl, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 14:52, Reply)

not really
people usually reply before I get a chance
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 14:53, Reply)

Hah!

( Cawl, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 15:00, Reply)

Yeah
I've been making some calls to those men who inject silicone into their dicks so they are football shaped.

Oh if you're apologising I'll pretend to give a shit about anything you say.

You're so mean. On the internet.
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 14:46, Reply)

I'm fairly pleased that I've never heard of this before
sounds pretty odd.

*looks at Al*
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 14:47, Reply)

Yeah I need to stop watching
those fucked up channel 4 documentaries.

It was a penis are literally as big as a football thus rendering it totally useless and imparing the guys ability to walk quite a lot. And find jeans that fit.
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 14:50, Reply)

are we talking soccer or american football?
as if the distinction matters that much.

some people are truly fucked in the head.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 14:51, Reply)

soccer
They also had people that hung weights off their dicks and had weird 3 foot long thin flat dicks they rolled up
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 14:53, Reply)

I'm not sure which I find weirder
it doesn't bear thinking about
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 14:54, Reply)

Lansoprazole for the gut aids and Escitalopram for the panic attacks.
And I think I may have the swine flu but I've been thinking that for the past week.
( girlinthehole, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 14:35, Reply)

I'm currently taking
Omeprazole for long-term acid indigestion
Anti-biotics for recurrent folliculitus
Fucking strong anti-histamines for hay-fever and related soreness and itching of the arms.

I rattle in the mornings. I'm usually relatively healthy. At least I'm not taking two different anti-depressants any more.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 14:37, Reply)

I possess enough psych meds
to floor a horse.

Which is what I will be doing this weekend, probably.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 14:39, Reply)

I take a handfull of tablets a few times a day.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 14:43, Reply)

Is anti-epileptic medication
Used to ward off epileptics?
( Captain V, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 14:44, Reply)

Hayfever meds all through the summer.
They mong me out totally and make me very spacey. It's like a legal dope fug.

What are you taking for epilepsy?
( Maladicta, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 14:52, Reply)

I'm very healthy
and therefore have no need for pharmaceutical drugs. I've not even been to the Doctors for over 10years!
( SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 14:53, Reply)

*envies*
I hates doctors; I'll only go if something is actually hanging off me.
( Maladicta, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 14:56, Reply)

Oh god, here comes the list
I'm type 1 diabetic so I have 2 different types of insulin I have to inject.
I've also got Chrones so there's Asacol for that.
To keep my cholestarol in check, I'm on Symvastatin (sp)
I've got prescription hayfever tablets, arthritic knees and my eye sight's buggered as well. With all the stuff for my diabetes, my repeat prescription sheet runs to 2 pages!

But apart from that, I'm fine!
(Pirate Monkey is not the goddamn Batman, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 15:36, Reply)