Two sleeps til Leeds, gays,
TWO SLEEPS

I'm very excited. And also very clueless. I've never been to a festival before, and I haven't been camping in about eight years, so.... what are your festival essentials?

Things I am excited for:
Sex
Being constantly drunk
Tim Minchin
The Crystal Method
Topping my results night antics
Finally getting my mind off my cunt of an ex.

What are you excited for at the moment?
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 13:21, 115 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

What happened on your results night
does it involve public nudity?
(Bazongaloid, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 13:23, Reply)

Yes.

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 13:25, Reply)

Yours or someone ugly?
Like Bert.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 13:26, Reply)

Mine.
I noticed Bert was back. I've never really spoken to him, so I wasn't excited for that.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 13:27, Reply)

Was it particularly traumatic?

(Bazongaloid, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 13:28, Reply)

I was at a Mardi Gras party.
I took the Mardi Gras theme a little too far. For a little too long.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 13:30, Reply)

You got really fat on a tuesday?

(Bazongaloid, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 13:32, Reply)

Nooooo
I got my tits out. Right out. For a while.

AND I was completely sober.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 13:34, Reply)

This is a dangerous thing to say.
On the internets.
(Miraclefish How appropriate, you fight like a cow, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 13:37, Reply)

Ah well.
I laugh in the face of danger.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 13:45, Reply)

For several days on Facebook
Danger was my middle name.

God help me, if I find an understanding wife one day, perhaps I can give that gift to my firstborn.
(Miraclefish How appropriate, you fight like a cow, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 13:48, Reply)

DO IT!
I'm going to hold you to that.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 13:52, Reply)

Ok but you may have to be my wife
Ha! Didn't see that one coming, did ya?
(Miraclefish How appropriate, you fight like a cow, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 13:58, Reply)

That sort of shit is always coming on /offtopic

(PsychoChomp, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 14:01, Reply)

Damn, I'm predictable.
I shall have to work on a new plan.
(Miraclefish How appropriate, you fight like a cow, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 14:02, Reply)

No,
But then I never want to get married, so nuh nuh nuh.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 14:05, Reply)

That's ok
I'll make a Kazakhstani Wedding Sack :)
(Miraclefish How appropriate, you fight like a cow, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 14:07, Reply)

you retard.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 13:43, Reply)

I was emotionally disraught.
I do stupid things like public nudity without thiking when I'm emotionally distraught.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 13:44, Reply)

Well you should probably try to stop that

(PsychoChomp, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 13:45, Reply)

I probably should.
But I can't seem to stop myself. In year eleven, just after my boyfriend at the time cheated on me and publicly humiliated me, I took my shirt off in an English lesson without thinking.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 13:49, Reply)

It makes me sad
that I didn't go to school with a girl like you.

Still, we had a fit english teacher for a couple of years who used to wear low cut dresses.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 13:53, Reply)

You need some sort of straight jacket.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 13:54, Reply)

I'm beginning to think I do.
Or have to get sewn into my clothes every morning.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 14:08, Reply)

Get your whole body tattooed to look like clothes.
No one will ever tell.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 14:13, Reply)

Interesting concept...

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 14:32, Reply)

It really isn't,
It's been a long day, I'm being boring.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 14:39, Reply)

Nothing out of the ordinary there then.
Its not been that long.
Oh wait, I only got up at eleven.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 14:42, Reply)

Don't mock me, I'm injured and stuff.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 14:47, Reply)

Yeah, well I'm emotionally disraught
And stuff.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 14:50, Reply)

Swap you the bone sticking out of my shoulder
with your teenage angst.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 15:01, Reply)

how is it?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 15:12, Reply)

OK thanks,

(PsychoChomp, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 15:14, Reply)

What?
This post has had more than five minutes, and no-one has said pictures or it didn't happen? And where's that panda picture? This is an outrage.

Pics or it didn't happen
(Deadly Octopus no deaths since, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 13:30, Reply)

I didn't want to be accused of trying to solicit
naked pictures of an 18 year old girl on the internet.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 13:31, Reply)

You make a convincing point

(Deadly Octopus no deaths since, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 13:34, Reply)

I am legal.
And its not like I'm getting any other interest at the moment.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 13:35, Reply)

Well in that case
feel free to send me pictures of your tits. I'll make sure they go to a good home.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 13:37, Reply)

Exxxcelllent....
In that case, pictures, or it didn't happen!
(Deadly Octopus no deaths since, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 14:22, Reply)

Crystal Method will be awesome!
I didn't know they were still going.

Festival essentials are: baby wipes, that hand cleaner stuff, bog roll, booze, drugs.

that's it. that is all you need in fact.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 13:28, Reply)

Condoms
young people need to be careful or they'll all get the AIDZ
(Bazongaloid, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 13:29, Reply)

Oh, I hope so.
If not, I'll be paying £200 for Tim Minchin and sex.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 13:36, Reply)

sex with tim minchin?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 13:42, Reply)

I wish!
But sadly they will be separate events.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 13:46, Reply)

I was going to question
how you could be sure you were going to get sex, but then I remembered that you were a girl going to a festival, so there will be plenty of greasy virgins wandering around for you to prey on.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 13:48, Reply)

As well as this,
A very good, partly lesbian friend of mine has just broken up with her boyfriend, and so we are each other's back up plans.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 13:54, Reply)

giggity giggity

(Although I must point out the missing apostrophe)
(Deadly Octopus no deaths since, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 14:25, Reply)

Oh, sorry.
Better?
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 14:35, Reply)

Festival essentials?
A reasonable hotel with shower facilities.

Oh, and I'm excited for a long weekend lasting Friday - Tuesday involving a trip to Edinburgh on the Friday and our local's all day bank holiday bands extravaganza on Monday. And possibly watching the match at the same time.

I have simple tastes.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 25 Aug 2009, 13:29, Reply)

have am a bit
tastes
(Bazongaloid, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 13:30, Reply)

Oh, al
you almost got as smile out of me.

I'm in a bad mood, so really that's quite an achievement.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 25 Aug 2009, 13:32, Reply)

Awwwww
what's wrong DG
*tickles under chin*
(Bazongaloid, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 13:33, Reply)

Work, mostly.
Like a project that's been some 8 months in the developing which I've asked my team for discussions with over some grey areas, which failed to materialise. So I appraise it anyway, having been told eventually it was a non starter and to close the project only to reopen it again due to some pressure from a partner organisation, send it in for sign off, and get told there are some grey areas and I really should have sought some discussions about it earlier...

I was so close to losing my rag in the meeting earlier.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 25 Aug 2009, 13:37, Reply)

Boooo
sounds rubbish. Have an extra special geordie hug to make you feel better.

*geordie hugs*
(Bazongaloid, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 13:41, Reply)

It is rubbish
*accepts geordie hug though*

Right. Back to work.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 25 Aug 2009, 13:45, Reply)

A handy tip
is tying your rag to your belt to avoid embarrassing loses.
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 13:41, Reply)

Tim Minchin?
The HILARIOUS antipodean 'comedian/singer/piano player'

i caught a little of his show the other week on tv, and it was the most irritating thing i think i have ever seen.

coupled with his pathetic attempts at being a serious songsmith, he pretended to play the piano in much the same way a child of 5 would.

still everyone to their own...personally i like nothing better than a Bobby Davro/Russ Abbot double header!
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 13:32, Reply)

The two wrinkly heads of old men
right up your arse.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 13:35, Reply)

i would do
if it wasn't for the bad aids and the anal cancer
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 13:47, Reply)

Tim Minchin
is good! Not perfect, but certainly most of his songs are good (10 foot cock and a few hundred virgins, we don't eat pork, and nothing can stop us being my current faves).
he is only really let down by his attempts at stand up between the songs - painfully bad mostly.

I've seen him live once, and it was a great show - enjoy it applebite!
( ascorbate, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 13:36, Reply)

Thanks!
You're right, his songs are much funnier, 10 foot cock is my favourite - especially when I watched it with my very catholic ex.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 13:58, Reply)

Festival essentials,
Toilet roll
hand wipes
bar of soap
lighters * many
tobacco * lots
cash * lots
tent
deoderant
waterproof
hat
sun lotion
wellies
flip flops
bin bags.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 13:35, Reply)

Thanks!
These are all going on my list. Except tobacco.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 13:39, Reply)

Even if you don't smoke,
by sunday people will be very grateful if you brought some.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 13:39, Reply)

oh and:
a box of wine or two
cereal bars
maybe some apples or something, eating burgers for 3 days makes you feel shit.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 13:39, Reply)

Some kind of bran flake cereal bar would be good
eating burgers for three days tends to clog you up something rotten.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 13:40, Reply)

I'm taking mostly fruit and cereal bars by way of food.
And four days worth of peanut butter and jam sandwiches.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 14:04, Reply)

oh and a bottle of water you can refill.
especially if it's hot.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 13:40, Reply)

^
Apples and carrots. Durable and tasty.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 14:03, Reply)

Going to Cadwell Park at the weekend to see the BSB
It's been ages since I've got off my arse and been to see a race. I shall get drunk in a tent. It's not quite a festival, but it will be loud, pointless and full of alcohol.

Still, probably no sex or Crystal Method, so you win the Weekend Top Trumps game...
(Miraclefish How appropriate, you fight like a cow, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 13:36, Reply)

Tim Minchin
is all of the awesome. I've seen him three times now, I think (I only paid once, I'm not that sad!)
Don't take anything you can't afford to lose - eg, only take your phone if you think you can't do without it, same for your camera.
Otherwise, as Vipros rightly says:

tent - sleeping bag - wet wipes - money - drugs.

*EDIT* deodorant and sunlotion are a good idea, too.
(berk, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 13:39, Reply)

I've just got back from V
Glad I remembered the condoms! :)

Most of the essentials have been listed before - loo roll, wipes, shades, wellies, cash, booze, drugs etc., etc.

Don't do what my mate did and get 10 miles from home then realise he'd left his ticket...oh was he popular.
( snee held his breath since, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 13:45, Reply)

LookoutformeLookoutformeLookoutformeLookoutformeLookoutformeLookoutforme
I'll be with Oxfam!
This is my 4th time, I feel quite the veteran.

I'd forgotten to put in my looroll. Suncream is good too. Lots of scarves. Dry shampoo. Vodka. Mixer - Blackcurrant cordial is NOT a mixer. Wellies. Easily wreckable shoes. Don't wear trousers. Warm jumper, but big scarf is just as good.

And all...that...JAZZ.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 13:55, Reply)

Do you know a loud guy called Div by any chance?

(PsychoChomp, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 13:56, Reply)

Nope, should I?

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 13:59, Reply)

He's worked leeds for Oxfam for a few years,
he's short, blond hair and seems to believe he lives in a carry on film.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 14:02, Reply)

Oooh, I've not done Oxfam before
-I meant it's my fourth time at Leeds-

but if I see him I'll say "Some girl on the internet says she knows you"
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 14:03, Reply)

He's not going this year as far as I know,
but you should stay away from him anyway.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 14:05, Reply)

Is he dangerous?
Or am I dangerous?
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 14:06, Reply)

He's not the sort of person I'd set any woman up with,
he's relativley charming but deep down he's a cunt.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 14:08, Reply)

Like us all, sweetie, like us all.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 14:10, Reply)

Nah, I'm a cunt on the outside
but deep down I'm relativley charming.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 14:11, Reply)

I'm just a bit of a twat alround.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 14:12, Reply)

Really?

( Cawl, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 14:13, Reply)

Yep, I'm generally a nice guy.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 14:14, Reply)

Oh right.

( Cawl, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 14:19, Reply)

Sarcy cunt

(PsychoChomp, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 14:20, Reply)

Sure.

( Cawl, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 14:21, Reply)

HAHAHAHAHA!

(Bazongaloid, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 14:05, Reply)

For the record,
Mint cordial is also not a mixer.
Unless you like drinking mouthwash.
( Cawl, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 13:58, Reply)

Mmmm, mouthwash.
I took mouthwash last year.

Not a success.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 14:00, Reply)

You ended up drinking it,
DIDN'T YOU?
( Cawl, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 14:01, Reply)

Nooo, someone didn't put the cap on
All my clothes were minty.

It wasn't me.
I know who it was.
But I couldn't get angry with her because I'd done something worse.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 14:02, Reply)

Did you menstruate on her sleeping bag?

(Bazongaloid, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 14:06, Reply)

menstruate gave someone a "birthday present" bag mat

It was his birthday.

his 16th birthday...
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 14:07, Reply)

You're a terrible friend.

( Cawl, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 14:08, Reply)

She wasn't IN the tent at the time!
Which is more than SHE can say for when she did it to me!

(with a guy)
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 14:10, Reply)

I'm so glad that I'm not going to Reading with you.
Or Leeds. I dunno which you're off to.
( Cawl, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 14:12, Reply)

I'm a Northerner, so it's Leeds.
Glad to see I'm a figure of such strong hate :P
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 14:13, Reply)

Hate?
I just don't want to be surrounded by young fornicators.
( Cawl, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 14:21, Reply)

No one does,
Not even other young fornicators. Hence why we're splitting our camp into those who will be getting some, and those who won't.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 14:27, Reply)

That doesn't make sense by the way.
A levels really are getting easier aren't they
(PsychoChomp, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 14:32, Reply)

Shut it you.
It does make sense. Its just that I'm trying to take the varnish off my nails at the same time as type.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 14:41, Reply)

No it doesn't,
I think if you change "young fornicators" to "teenagers" it may make more sense.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 14:45, Reply)

The word teenage isn't even anywhere in my OP.

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 14:49, Reply)

Just ignore her
she's upset that younger prettier girls are having more fun than she is.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 14:49, Reply)

YEAH I KNOW THAT SO I EDITED
GOD JUST ADMIT I'M RIGHT AND WE CAN ALL MOVE ON.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 14:50, Reply)

NEVER
ANGRY CAPITALS
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 14:52, Reply)

now then
you lot all need to calm down. There's no need to resort to capital letters.

Can't we all just hug and be friends?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 14:58, Reply)

Depends if she's got her tits out or not

(Bazongaloid, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 14:59, Reply)

pipe down you

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 15:00, Reply)

I'm not packing til tomorrow
As I don't have an early bird.

These are all great, thanks. And I will be sure to come visit the Oxfam stall. You'll be my first real B3tan. Minibash!
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 14:03, Reply)

Ahhh lucky. I have to get there tomorrow and get my shifts sorted out
If you want I'll message you my number and come and visit. I doubt we'll be seeing any of the same bands though ^_^

Piccadilly Party is fun, it's on every night at the bottom of Orange Hill. Orange Hill is the massive fuck off hill, by the way. All my friends call it Orange Hill, on account of Orange Campsite being at the top, but dunno if it's in general usage.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 14:05, Reply)

Ta very much :D
I think Orange Campsite is possibly where all my mates are planning on camping, I forgot to get an earlybird, you see but most of my friends have them.
I have no idea what bands I'll be seeing, I'm just going to get dragged wherever, so you never know.
What are you planning on seeing?
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 14:17, Reply)

Paris, bitches.

( Maladicta, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 19:20, Reply)