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This is a question Off Topic

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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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I am at home, making pasties. My house smells of pasties.
Vipros is a smug bastard.
Kaol is a delusional vampire.
Chompers is a girl pandering to other girls.
Captain V is a gnome.
Edit: Clendrix is a midget-hating racist.

What other b3tans' characteristics should we be celebrating?
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 12:30, 100 replies, latest was 16 years ago)
Clendrix is a terrible racist.

(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 12:31, Reply)
Oh shit - I forgot about that
Hold on...will edit.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 12:33, Reply)
Good work.

(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 12:35, Reply)
Oh!
Edmund! Need I say more?
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 12:36, Reply)
Yes.

(Edmund has no idea what you mean, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 12:56, Reply)
How's your
North-Pole-Cock-Gazzing-Jet-Pilot-Knee-Injury?
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 13:01, Reply)
Turns out you don't need to use your knee to fly a fighter jet,
so I just flew to the North Pole and back - bit of a cop-out, I know, but needs must. I'll be going on a pogo stick once the knee's better to make up for it. As for the cock-gazzing, check your inbox my dear.
(Edmund has no idea what you mean, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 13:05, Reply)
Sorry, too many words. Medication must be kicking in
I just read that as 'I am Edmund and I am a massive cockpope'
(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 13:07, Reply)

am have a
+and am likely to be made the next

Catholics love a pilot.
(Edmund has no idea what you mean, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 13:10, Reply)
JESUS IS MY WING COMMANDER

(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 13:12, Reply)
I have also been approached by the Mormons, who approve of my stance on multiple marriages.
I shall unite the Christian faiths.
(Edmund has no idea what you mean, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 13:15, Reply)
You'll never get the catholics
They're staunch ardent haters of your kind. Motivated by jealousy that someone else is getting laid by not just one uggo.
(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 13:18, Reply)
I already have a Pope's hat, you know.
Would you like to see a picture?
(Edmund has no idea what you mean, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 13:34, Reply)
Why would you want to be King of Wales
when a Prince is the highest royal there?
You would be an anomaly.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 12:37, Reply)
That's how I live my life.
Anomalously.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 12:38, Reply)
No3l - the nomad.

(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 1 Sep 2009, 12:32, Reply)
Clendrix's cooking is sub-par

(PsychoChomp, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 12:33, Reply)
You, as a girl, must know about food-safety.
Last night I got a Subway on my way home from Wales.
I ate half of it.
Left it in the car. If I eat it for lunch, will I die a slow and twisting death?
Also, it's meat, cheese and mayo.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 12:35, Reply)
I wouldn't eat it,
but then you're a lot fatter than me.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 12:35, Reply)
This is true.
But you think it's an unwise thing to eat?
Due to the un-refridgerated nature, I mean.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 12:36, Reply)
Yes,
especially if it's been kept in a warm car.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 12:38, Reply)
*bins*
Today I shall be having New Lunch.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 12:38, Reply)
If you hadn't been stupid and got mayo
Then I would probably have said it was fine. Then I would probably have eaten it, and regretted it.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 12:40, Reply)
Quick, tell /talk.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 12:41, Reply)
Sure,
If you start a lunch thread.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 12:42, Reply)
I misread that
I thought you took the subway to get home from Wales. I thought it was a new alternative to Great Western railways or the M4.
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 12:41, Reply)
Oh yes, those dreadful scones I made.
*shames*
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 12:35, Reply)
I apologise, my insults should be better.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 12:39, Reply)
Our fabulous hospitality.
Do we win five pounds?
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 1 Sep 2009, 12:43, Reply)
Yes.
I especially enjoyed Tourette's cake.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 12:48, Reply)
Pfft!
You're very naughty, you know that?
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 1 Sep 2009, 12:51, Reply)
I gazzed her nice things about it.
But I'm not pandering on here - oh no.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 12:52, Reply)
Yeah I know.
She told me.
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 1 Sep 2009, 12:53, Reply)
:D
I had a lovely reply.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 12:57, Reply)
I had big plans for that cake...
I bought a huge sheet of white ready rolled icing, to drape ghost-style over it. Then I had pink edible glitter with which to fashion the word "BOO!" on top.
Too much cocoa powder/too little raising agent = fail. It took four days out in the rain before the birds would attempt it.
(I helped save b3ta! Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 13:23, Reply)
I'm a sad middle-aged women who goes on about her love life too much.
But hey! I got the whole three series of Black Books on DVD for £9 so life isn't all bad.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 12:45, Reply)
You are younger than me so you can't be middle aged
because that would make me old and I KNOW I am middle aged, not old.
(MichaelS wasn't picked again, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 14:51, Reply)
DiT is a terrible dwama queen
beckyjsbx is a self aggrandising cunt
Al is not a geordie
(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 12:46, Reply)
Oh yes, Tightly the Ham.

(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 12:47, Reply)
HE WILL BE OUTRAGED WHEN HE READS THIS, ONLINE

(Slip Digby is a meat puppet, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 13:00, Reply)
Oh I'm quite sure he will
We all love a bit of ham though.
(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 13:02, Reply)
you love to touch it

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 13:40, Reply)
Update:
Noel - lost somewhere
DG and Tourette's - cake-destroying hosts
Blousey - cougar-in-waiting
Al - middle-class twat from southern England
Tightly - ham
Becky - cunt
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 12:51, Reply)
Looks about right to me

(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 12:52, Reply)
Please
can I be a midget-dropping clungecake?
(I helped save b3ta! Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 13:28, Reply)
This baffles me
When did having a double-barrelled name stop meaning you were the poshest of the posh on your country estate entertaining royalty, and become middle class?

Or is it that you're all just much posher than you think so Al is *relatively* middle class?
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 14:32, Reply)
I suppose you could just do a coverall of
'Lovely but a bit mental' for everyone if you wanted to go for the lazy approach
(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 12:53, Reply)
Ah,
you know as well as I do that lovely does not apply to everyone...
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 12:56, Reply)
You really shouldn't do yourself down so much, y' know?

(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 1 Sep 2009, 12:59, Reply)
Oi, don't you be casting aspersions on Clenders
She'll fucking ave you you know
(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 13:01, Reply)
*afears*
Actually she was the perfect guest. Unbeknownst to her, because we knew we would miss her so much when she left, we stole some of her hair. It's now in a frame sitting atop a CDC (crudely drawn clendrix) and hanging in the bathroom.
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 1 Sep 2009, 13:04, Reply)
This is the nicest thing anyone has ever done.

(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 13:05, Reply)
You know the rules
I'm not doing pandering today, but C is very aces
(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 13:06, Reply)
Oh I say!
*blushes*
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 13:06, Reply)
Sorry, I meant lovely but a bit mental for most
dull fucktardly cunts for the rest ,)
(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 13:00, Reply)
Yes. Very yes.

(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 13:06, Reply)
Boss Keloid
Is quite possibly an alcoholic.

/Edit

Me. Erm... damn you b3ta I can't think of anything for me except "dull".

You complete bunch of bastards!
(I helped save b3ta! jim_bob can herd cats., Tue 1 Sep 2009, 12:54, Reply)
Nah!
He's just a slut.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 12:55, Reply)
A serial monogamist perhaps
Calling him a slut is a little harsh.
(I helped save b3ta! jim_bob can herd cats., Tue 1 Sep 2009, 12:59, Reply)
I meant slut in the nicest way.
Being a slut is not necessarily a bad thing you know.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 13:19, Reply)
No, I suppose not.

(I helped save b3ta! jim_bob can herd cats., Tue 1 Sep 2009, 14:07, Reply)
Yes, I concur.
I invited him round for curry once and he was in my bed by 7pm.
/ac
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 12:56, Reply)
Flim-Flam, the Domestic Abuser

(Slip Digby is a meat puppet, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 13:00, Reply)
Slip Digby:
The Baby-Molester.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 13:02, Reply)
Slip digby
The Baby-Molester eater
Lets not make up lies ONLINE
(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 13:04, Reply)
No
that would never do. You hamster felcher.
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 1 Sep 2009, 13:06, Reply)
ME?
sweet lil old me? Did I tell you, I expressed a dog's anal glands for the first time last week. I felt THIS proud!
(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 13:08, Reply)
That is the most horrible thing ever.
And the act that made our dog go from being perfectly happy to go to the vet, to absolutely fucking terrified.
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 1 Sep 2009, 13:12, Reply)
Bit of luck I didn't do it then ,)
It is one of the most disgusting things I've ever done, but so satisfying as you feel the nubbin roll around in your fingertips and then burst out onto the cotton wool.
(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 13:16, Reply)
*bloik*
Oddly enough, since we changed her diet she hasn't been affected by them, whereas it used to be a semi-regular occurrence.
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 1 Sep 2009, 13:17, Reply)
Glad to hear it
it seems to affect some dogs a lot more than others for one reason or another.
(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 13:22, Reply)
Wellgroomedwookiee:
Forgotten.

*cries*
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 13:06, Reply)
Wellgroomedwookiee
The slightly odd cousin nobody talks about.
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 1 Sep 2009, 13:07, Reply)
Well groomed wookie
self flagellating smart guy
(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 13:09, Reply)
I had some ideas but I thought you'd just get cross,
you hairless belmer.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 13:10, Reply)
Cross? Me? Never.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 13:14, Reply)
:)

(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 13:27, Reply)
TGB
incredibly good at procrastinating instead of moving house. Also is an offensive troll face who no one likes. But throws good BBQs and makes awesome breakfasts.
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 13:13, Reply)
Cunt in waiting

(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 13:16, Reply)
Understudy Cunt?
In case the leading lady is unavailable?
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 13:18, Reply)
Yup
I'll be going for a nap soon, so I expect you to take on your duties and ensure that this board remains full of cunt ,)
(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 13:23, Reply)
I am also disappearing to have LUNCH WITH GONZ.
Keep up the bad work.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 13:27, Reply)
Gonz is a lovely LOVELY lovely young man, who you (yes, you, reading this) can do a lot worst with.

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 13:37, Reply)
I can do worse with you?
This is good news. I thought I'd reached the lowest point of human behaviour.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 13:47, Reply)
I'm going to be honest...
I have no idea how I was supposed to finish that sentance. Stooopid english language and phrasing.
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 13:53, Reply)
Roota
Not even as an afterthought. I has a sad. Unimportant! On the Internet!
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 13:54, Reply)
Roota:
Fairly mediocre.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 13:55, Reply)
I like this. I'll take it.

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 14:23, Reply)
Roota
Female, unpandered.
(I helped save b3ta! jim_bob can herd cats., Tue 1 Sep 2009, 14:01, Reply)
Sorry I had to do some work.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 14:06, Reply)
Well get pandering!

(I helped save b3ta! jim_bob can herd cats., Tue 1 Sep 2009, 14:07, Reply)
I think you need it more.

(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 14:09, Reply)
Oh I'm fine.
But pander away by all means.
(I helped save b3ta! jim_bob can herd cats., Tue 1 Sep 2009, 14:09, Reply)
You sicken me.

(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 14:11, Reply)
And you give me the creeping horrors.

(I helped save b3ta! jim_bob can herd cats., Tue 1 Sep 2009, 14:24, Reply)
:D
My work here is done!
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 14:26, Reply)
Eh you cheeky sod! I have been pandered!
Granted, one of those was the Ed lunatic person, but still...
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 14:25, Reply)
Ok then.
Roota: Unpandered to, aside from lunatics. Possibly due to being an 'orrible lobscouse.
(I helped save b3ta! jim_bob can herd cats., Tue 1 Sep 2009, 14:47, Reply)
And there you have it.
My life in one handy sentence!
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 14:57, Reply)
Pasties=Win
I love being Cornish.
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 14:10, Reply)

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