I fucking love some people on here
Dear Internet,

I have done something which is clearly prohibited. However, I don't wish to take responsibility for my actions and have decided to weasle my way out of doing so by looking for a loophole based on the width of a strip of paint, the mere presence of which clearly indicates that what I did was prohibited, but the exact width wasn't millimetre perfect, because it was painted by a human being.

I'm sure lots of people will jump up and point out that it's all down to THE MAN being a lying cunt who is just out to fuck you over and provide loads of examples where it was down to a corrupt official just out to meet targets.

I say fuck you all, you drivelling twats. I've never had a parking ticket. Why? Because I park in areas where parking is allowed and not in places where the presence of bright yellow strips of paint tells me I shouldn't.

When I park in a car park, I pay for my parking. If I were to stay longer than the time I payed for and I got a ticket, I would man the fuck up and pay the fine, if I were to park on a strip of bright yellow paint which indicates I shouldn't park there and I got a ticket, I would MAN THE FUCK UP and pay the fine. Because the fine is there to discourage you from doing it again, it is not there as a way to make the council money.

If it was a way to make money they wouldn't have bright yellow strips of paint, or signs saying "Don't park here" they would just have men with sticks going around and demanding your wallet. It would be a more reliable source of income.

Flame away you justice seeking rebels you, flame away and tell me how wrong I am.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 16 Sep 2009, 12:03, 50 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Yeah', ok then, so.....
... anyone know any disgruntled chain phamacy employees who are lookin' to double their wages for the day?
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 16 Sep 2009, 12:10, Reply)

I think I'm falling in love with you.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 16 Sep 2009, 12:11, Reply)

Hello Mr Al
How are you on this fine day?
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Wed 16 Sep 2009, 12:12, Reply)

Your wrong when it's a genuine accident

based on confusing signage and cunty traffic wardens.

ie parking in the only bay in a road that is redidents only and not residents and pay at meter, while the sneaky warden wanker lurks around the corner watching the hapless motorist buy a ticket in good faith and go on his merry way.

Warden then gives unfortunate motorist a ticket timed at exactly 1 minute after he bought his ticket.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 16 Sep 2009, 12:13, Reply)

I wish I could understand this.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 16 Sep 2009, 12:15, Reply)

I can't work this out either.

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 16 Sep 2009, 12:18, Reply)

You mongs
There's a road, see? And it has parking places - some for residents only, others for non-residents who have to pay at a meter, see? And he parked in a residents only spot without realising and paid at the meter, see?

The traffic warden was clearly in the vicinity and so could have warned him about the error he was committing, but instead chose to wait until he'd left and wrote him a ticket.

The end.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 16 Sep 2009, 12:58, Reply)

Now I get it
But he didn't explain that there were specified bays. I thought anyone could park in the bays (resident by displaying permit, non-resident by displaying purchesed ticket.)
*whines*
*gets a grip*
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 16 Sep 2009, 13:07, Reply)

I totally knew that.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 16 Sep 2009, 13:15, Reply)

Did you fuck
you're a mong like me
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 16 Sep 2009, 13:18, Reply)

I see a buddy movie in your very near future
'Mong like Me' starring Roota and the other one, opening line: 'Mnnnnnggggghhh'
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 16 Sep 2009, 13:20, Reply)

'The Mong Good Friday'

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 16 Sep 2009, 13:30, Reply)

'Mongraker'

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 16 Sep 2009, 13:32, Reply)

The Mong Trousers

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 16 Sep 2009, 13:35, Reply)

Mr Mongorium's wonder emporium

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 16 Sep 2009, 13:37, Reply)

Hahaha
King Mong
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 16 Sep 2009, 13:38, Reply)

Mongy & Me

EDIT Hannah Mongtana: The Movie
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 16 Sep 2009, 13:40, Reply)

Hahaha fuck

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 16 Sep 2009, 13:41, Reply)

Mongsters Inc.

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 16 Sep 2009, 13:42, Reply)

Mong Père, Ce Héros.

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 16 Sep 2009, 13:44, Reply)

Mongty Pyton's Life Of Braindead

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 16 Sep 2009, 13:46, Reply)

Mong of the South
(although I'm from the North...)
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 16 Sep 2009, 13:42, Reply)

I give up
it's not funny anymore
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 16 Sep 2009, 13:46, Reply)

I could laugh at this for another 15 minutes
But I'm a mong
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 16 Sep 2009, 13:47, Reply)

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Mong

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 16 Sep 2009, 13:48, Reply)

Harry Potter and the Half-Mong Prince
Sounds better.
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Wed 16 Sep 2009, 14:01, Reply)

*looks at floor*
*shuffles feet*
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 16 Sep 2009, 13:28, Reply)

I can't drive
Nobody can fine my ass fo parkin where it shouldn't.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 16 Sep 2009, 12:16, Reply)

Ba-Zing
And I can drive but no longer have a car, so in the immortal words of MC Hammer...

'Can't touch this' dooo dooo doo doo
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Wed 16 Sep 2009, 12:17, Reply)

So long suckaz

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 16 Sep 2009, 12:18, Reply)

It's the downfall of western civilization
and the start of world wide socialism!
(MichaelS wasn't picked again, Wed 16 Sep 2009, 12:22, Reply)

If only...

( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Wed 16 Sep 2009, 12:49, Reply)

Don't worry,
the right wing in the US is protecting us from Obama's secret plan to force us all to have health insurance which will make us all socialists.

(I agree, if only...)
(MichaelS wasn't picked again, Wed 16 Sep 2009, 12:58, Reply)

*gives Al a warm enema and a backrub*

( thealternativefact, Wed 16 Sep 2009, 12:24, Reply)

I GOT PATIO FURNITURE !
THE FOREST NOW HAS AFFORDABLE-YET-COMFORTABLE SEATING !
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 16 Sep 2009, 12:35, Reply)

Hurrah! Just in time for winter!

( thealternativefact, Wed 16 Sep 2009, 12:35, Reply)

Hahah!
Officesnortz
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 16 Sep 2009, 12:36, Reply)

Gonz's rooftop garden -
sorry, I mean Forest of Heightened Delights - is quite a sight.
( thealternativefact, Wed 16 Sep 2009, 12:42, Reply)

I am jealous
If I had a patch of roof I'd be out there in all weathers.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 16 Sep 2009, 12:43, Reply)

You should see it with all the roap-lights !
:DDDD
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 16 Sep 2009, 12:43, Reply)

I hope you were mis-spelling rope
and not rape.
( thealternativefact, Wed 16 Sep 2009, 12:44, Reply)

You are making me laugh out of my nose today
Pack it in will you.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 16 Sep 2009, 12:45, Reply)

*packs it in*
*wonders where al is with a timely comment*
( thealternativefact, Wed 16 Sep 2009, 12:46, Reply)

Next up: Heating, projector and white screen.
YES !
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 16 Sep 2009, 12:36, Reply)

Oh dear
*watches white screen blow away to Barnet*
( thealternativefact, Wed 16 Sep 2009, 12:43, Reply)

Wow al, that's alot of bile right there.
Has the love-life dried up with the mrs since you got engaged? Don't fret, it's perfectly normal, and in ten years time when you're balls deep in your blonde, mentally challenged secretary and mrs al's sucking off the milkman for kicks, balance will be restored and all will be right again.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 16 Sep 2009, 12:37, Reply)

*fills out Unigate application form*

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 16 Sep 2009, 13:04, Reply)

Haha!
As if they'd hire the likes of you, contaminating their milk with your trouser by-products
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 16 Sep 2009, 13:07, Reply)

Eww...what are you putting in those milk bottles?

( thealternativefact, Wed 16 Sep 2009, 13:07, Reply)

JINX
Touch wood!
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 16 Sep 2009, 13:08, Reply)