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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Positive energies now everyone
Who would you like to go on a date with? No lustful fantasies, just to be in their company because they're lovely.

For me,

Jodie Kidd
Fiona Bruce
and a woman off BBC breakfast but I can't remember her name
(I helped save b3ta! sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 12:32, 93 replies, latest was 17 years ago)
Kate Winslett
No other words needed.
(I helped save b3ta! jim_bob can herd cats., Thu 15 Oct 2009, 12:33, Reply)
Because her name
is only 2 words long?
(I helped save b3ta! sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 12:36, Reply)
Because she's Kate Winslett.
Oh, and Lucy Porter as well. There's something very pixie-ish about her. And for some reason I like pixie-ish women.
(I helped save b3ta! jim_bob can herd cats., Thu 15 Oct 2009, 14:10, Reply)
You're thinking of Susanna Reid
I just know it..

2.bp.blogspot.com/_cNbZ3QYQr5I/SJ9Q1EFgFwI/AAAAAAAAB_k/aP-9pq2ddjA/s400/susanna_reid_12.jpg
(I helped save b3ta! whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 12:36, Reply)
tell me thats a fake.

(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 12:36, Reply)
I'm afraid so
But she'd still take my 3 inch rod of steel in her face
(I helped save b3ta! whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 12:37, Reply)
What about
your cock? Surely that would be more fun, for both of you.
(I helped save b3ta! sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 12:45, Reply)
She likes it rough

(I helped save b3ta! whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 12:51, Reply)
awww
you've spoilt her now. She used to be lovely, now she's just wank-bank fodder.
(I helped save b3ta! sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 12:40, Reply)
Suzanna Reid?
Shes a fucking prick tease! With her leg crossing and smiles. All the while knowing everyone wants to fuck her but she's probably frigid! What a bitch!
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 12:36, Reply)
That is exactly what runs through my mind
Every morning when she is on.

But by the way, the spastic Bill Turnbull and his pathetic attempt at humour needs to die..
(I helped save b3ta! whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 12:38, Reply)
I get the opposite impression
I reckon she's filthy. She looks at me lasciviously out of the telly.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 12:40, Reply)
Cor, I see what you mean
www.youtube.com/watch?v=LvIrOa52DkY

Also, look at fast she moves her hand at 0:36, I reckon she's been told she's showing a bit too much thigh.
(I helped save b3ta! sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 12:56, Reply)
Hahaha
That video is incredible, albeit pervy.

Check out this comment:
WOW at 0.20 susanna shows me her knickers & suspenders - at 0.21 im cuming - at 0.33 susanna smiles at what she has just done to me - thanx susanna
(I helped save b3ta! whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 13:32, Reply)
Proper nice date, no filth?
Dave Grohl, Richard Hawley, Bruce Parry, Alex James (I do proper fancy him but he's a happy family man now and I wouldn't want to spoil it for him)
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 12:37, Reply)
Do you mean the one who's pregnant?
Susannah or sarah or something.

I'm currently in the process of asking someone out.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 12:41, Reply)
ARGH!!
I just went nervous and pink in the face at the thought of asking someone out!!
Good luck tho.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 12:42, Reply)
Thanks, I'm sure you'll all hear the full story in time.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 13:36, Reply)
Asking someone out
is it Leona Lewis in a bookshop?

No wait, that's offering them out.
(I helped save b3ta! sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 12:44, Reply)

asking someone coming.
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 15 Oct 2009, 12:44, Reply)
^ this
I actually LOLd at that rather raucously
(I helped save b3ta! sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 12:58, Reply)
I want the world to know.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 13:37, Reply)
ooh
I forgot Liv Tyler

and maybe Siobhan Fahey (even though I've just found out that she's 51)
(I helped save b3ta! sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 12:43, Reply)
Only the one for now
But it's got to be Myleene Klass.
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 12:47, Reply)
I can't stomach her nostrils.

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 12:48, Reply)
You could totally spleen her earlobes though.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 12:49, Reply)
I could kidney her filtrim too

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 13:00, Reply)
Apparently
she can't smell your stomach
(I helped save b3ta! sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 12:58, Reply)
That weather girl on the BBC
Laura Tobin.

Lovely, she is.
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 12:48, Reply)
Emily Booth,
of "Bits" fame. Or either of the other two, to be honest.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 12:49, Reply)
I forgot about her,
she was nice.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 13:37, Reply)
She was in Evil Aliens
which was on Zone Horror the other day,
(I helped save b3ta! sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 16:50, Reply)
Close to home?
Psychochomp - to see if I can make him giggle.

Noel - because he's lovely.

Bentalls - because she's a lady lover and I used to love ladies, so we'll have lots to talk about.

Al - so I can show him how to treat a lady.

Bert - so he can go down on me under the table.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 12:58, Reply)
what about me, eh?
Scared I'd punch you in the face?
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 13:04, Reply)
You know my feelings about you go beyond dinner and a knee trembler.
And a punch in the face.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 13:06, Reply)
*lowers fists*
Smooth talking, dollface - you just booked yourself a ticket outta Facepunch City.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 13:22, Reply)
S'alright Monty - she's shunned me too.
And she knows I used to love ladies.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 13:12, Reply)
Oooo! I forgot about you.
Another seat for the lady, garcon!
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 13:15, Reply)
Forgotten! *weeps*
But if dinner and booze is on you, I'll let byegones be byegones.
Buy me wine. It makes me very friendly.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 13:17, Reply)
You're a wine tart too?
I can't be trusted after half a bottle of red : )
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 13:20, Reply)
*pops to Oddbins*

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 13:23, Reply)
Oh yes
When I was having a smear she couldn't get the thingy in, so I said "Gimme some Pinot Grigio and put the Kings of Leon on. You'll have no trouble."

Red wine just makes me sleepy. White wine makes me 'rum'.

I definitely posted too much personal info on the internet there...
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 13:23, Reply)
*pops into HMV after Oddbins*
EDIT: btw I think BGB's just called you a 'lady garcon'....a bit rude, no?
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 13:24, Reply)
Don't forget the chemist.
Also ninja edit.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 13:26, Reply)
Chemist
For a speculum?
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 13:31, Reply)
Erm.....if you like.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 13:34, Reply)
No.
I get it now!
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 13:43, Reply)
I think it's a lovely term

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 13:32, Reply)
Whaddabout MEEE?
/ac
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 15:46, Reply)
I'd like to have dinner with David Beckham so I can show him what real women eat like.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 13:14, Reply)
Haha! I think this is an excellent suggestion
(She does look revolting, doesn't she?)
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 13:26, Reply)
I shall throw in a (possibly slightly esoteric) suggestion of
Miranda Richardson.

I know she's probably almost old enough to be my mother, but I think she's still looking pretty good for her age and I imagine she'd be a good laugh.
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 13:29, Reply)
I think you just described me there.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 13:31, Reply)
Quick, while Monty's still in Oddbins!
So...um...do you come here often?
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 13:32, Reply)
*door crashes open*
WHAT'S GOING ON HERE THEN?
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 13:43, Reply)
Um..it's nothing, it's nothing...it's not what it looks like...
...she'll wake up in a minute. Or two. Or fifteen...
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 13:44, Reply)
Nothing!
He was just getting something out of my eye.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 13:44, Reply)
putting something INTO your eye more like
or are you one of those people who can cry milk?
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 13:47, Reply)
Yes, absolutely
She can cry entire penises sometimes...(that's my excuse, anyway)
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 13:53, Reply)
A rare talent

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 13:54, Reply)
One of many.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 13:56, Reply)
RJD

(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 13:36, Reply)
Keeping things very close to your lovely chest there Clendrix.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 13:42, Reply)
:)
He's a small and famous ROCK GOD.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 13:45, Reply)
well he wouldn't eat much
and you'd have to ask for a high chair, but I'm sure he'd be great company.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 13:44, Reply)
We could eat dinner and then ROCK.

(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 13:44, Reply)
Indeed - that's dessert sorted:
a stick of RAWK
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 13:45, Reply)
Ricky Gervais or David Mitchell
or just someone really lovely
that will make me laugh and make want to cuddle
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 13:48, Reply)
You're in the wrong thread, love
FACE PUNCHING is downstairs

Actually David Mitchell is superb, I say.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 13:52, Reply)
I agree with this
ricky gervais's only achievement is making people think that his incredibly annoying and stupid characters are an act.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 17:14, Reply)
Oh David Mitchell.
Yes, now he's do-able. Definitely.
Oh and good date company, of course in keeping with the spirit of the thread.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 13:52, Reply)
I could've said Graham Norton...as I love him and he'd make me laugh...so it's doesn't REALLY matter that he's gay, right?

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 13:55, Reply)
Norton's gayness makes no difference to me, no.
I'd like to smash his fucking cock in with a lump hammer, whatever his hole of choice.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 14:01, Reply)
Ah good.
You've spared me the bother of typing that.

Thank you
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 14:02, Reply)
such anger :(
I'm not feeling it today, Clendrix dear.
Can't we just be happy?
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 14:03, Reply)
I'm going to Spain later.

(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 14:07, Reply)
is that why you're so angry? I hear it's lovely.

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 14:14, Reply)
No, it was an irrelevant statement.
But true though - I am looking forward to it muchly.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 14:18, Reply)
I couldn't decide whether to post what I did or "random"
What will you do there?
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 14:20, Reply)
Help my flatmate celebrate his birthday.
There's about ten of us going.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 14:24, Reply)
*squeals* It's MY friend's birthday too!
But I'm not going to spain. Neither is she.
I hope you have an amazing time!
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 14:25, Reply)
Thank you!
YAY!
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 14:40, Reply)
Naomi Wilkinson
She's a presenter on 'Milkshake' - the kiddies programming thing on Channel 5 in the morning.

She's lots of different lovely all rolled in to one little bundle.
(I helped save b3ta! SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 13:56, Reply)
*googles*
Hmm, 7/10 for humpability there!
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 14:04, Reply)
Hmm
Hadn't heard of her, but after some engooglement I am now acquainted with her image.

And I'd say probably 8/10 - certainly more than 7, anyway.
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 14:11, Reply)
YOU GET YOUR FILTHY MITTS OFF FIONA BRUCE
When Flim divorces me, as she inevitably will, I am going to fling myself in to her arms.

Well, hers or Suzi Perry's. Or Cheryl Cole's. Or Sophie Dahl's - apparently she goes for short guys...
(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 14:02, Reply)
Fucking midgets

(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 14:07, Reply)
All look alike, don't they?

(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 14:26, Reply)
Like, totally.

(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 14:40, Reply)
Fiona Bruce
is indeed quite hot, for her age.

Came across (cough) this pic today:

img19.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=53119_Newsroom8s_Got_Talent_2009_9357_122_91lo.jpg

Watch for the bloody annoying "embedded" popups, which may be NSFW.
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 14:09, Reply)
Suzi Perry is awesome, but a bit old for me, I reckon I could be her son-in-law or something like that though.
Maybe she could be my 'cool aunty'?
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 15:45, Reply)
Felicia Day, she's so swell.

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 15:43, Reply)
Fiona Bruce for sure
And Cameron Diaz.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 19:44, Reply)

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