Free Bar Ettiqutte
Do you storm right in and order a load of treble JDs, a few pints and a bottle of vino then throw it down yer neck and head back for the same, or just treat it as if you were paying as normal and pace yerself?

I should be half cut by then, as I finish at four, it starts at eight and I'm on the pop straight after work...
(The Boy Monders I have ginger bits in my beard., Thu 26 Nov 2009, 11:42, 52 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

No
because that is a cuntish thing to do.

Worst of all, it's ungentlemanly.
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 11:44, Reply)

Straight malt whisky mixed with Glayva in half pint glasses,
for four hours, then wake up in hospital with a nurse putting 6 stitches in your head, for the win :(

EDIT to say this was a corporate bash and therefore outwith the realms of decency, every man for himself.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 11:44, Reply)

Depends, if it's a friend or family do then normal pace.
If it's work TAKE THEM FOR EVERYTHING
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 11:47, Reply)

Hahahaha
I concur
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 26 Nov 2009, 11:52, Reply)

:D
although I should have qualified the above statement with "getting drunk at work socials is not the done thing. Never get drunker than your boss".
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 11:55, Reply)

never be the most drunk person there is my rule
people always remember the other person.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 12:00, Reply)

My friend Dave slapped his boss in the face and called him a cunt
at a christmas party a few years ago.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 12:06, Reply)

Hello Chompy
How was the naughty step? Hope you didn't get piles from sitting on it.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 26 Nov 2009, 12:08, Reply)

The countdown is in seconds,
they should really show days:hours:minutes:seconds.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 12:09, Reply)

You get a countdown?
Wow.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 26 Nov 2009, 12:14, Reply)

lucky he didn't comment on someones boobehs,
then he really would have been in trouble.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 12:08, Reply)

i like breasts

( broadsword, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 15:21, Reply)

my old boss probably wouldn't have minded
the new one would I imagine

welcome back
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 12:09, Reply)

He had to send a email to everyone in the company apologising.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 12:11, Reply)

was the guy a cunt?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 12:12, Reply)

I have no idea, probably.
I think the bottle of whiskey had more to do with it than the boss' personality.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 12:13, Reply)

that sounds likely
I steer clear of whisky

and whiskey for that matter
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 12:14, Reply)

Ha ha I bet his face was red on the Monday
(The Boy Monders I have ginger bits in my beard., Thu 26 Nov 2009, 12:13, Reply)

Oh hiya Chomp!
www.youtube.com/watch?v=QVS3WNt7yRU
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 12:14, Reply)

I can't watch youtube clips at work.
STOP BULLYING ME!
(PsychoChomp, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 12:20, Reply)

Ok, it was the theme from Welcome Back Kotter.
you've ruined it you little cunt by not having youtube. What kind of cunt doesn't have youtube? Gimme your dinnermoney you slag.
*Is actually a bullying and harrassment adviser in her workplace*
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 12:23, Reply)

Eh?!
So you advise people on the best way to harrass and bully colleagues?! Ace! I want your job!
(The Boy Monders I have ginger bits in my beard., Thu 26 Nov 2009, 12:43, Reply)

That's what I mostly do
But really I'm supposed to be a listening ear for victims or accused perpetrators.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 12:45, Reply)

Ahh
That could be pretty depressing I bet? Or a funny depending on what gets reported. Do you ever scream "just man the fuck up, you nugget! No wonder no one likes you!"
(The Boy Monders I have ginger bits in my beard., Thu 26 Nov 2009, 13:00, Reply)

I did recently say "If he doesn't stop phoning, I'LL bully him!"

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 13:01, Reply)

Ha!
Terrific! You can't be too soft on em!
(The Boy Monders I have ginger bits in my beard., Thu 26 Nov 2009, 13:08, Reply)

Do you ever find it hard to keep yourself from laughing sometimes?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 13:14, Reply)

No. I do sometimes satre into space
as they go off on a tangent.
I'm not a professional so I can't get them back on track quickly like a proper counsellor.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 14:01, Reply)

A friend of mine drunkenly went up to one of the company directors
clasped the directors face with both hands and kissed the director on the top of his bald head.

I would love to say that it was all taken in good jest and christmas cheer, but it wasnt. He was fired.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 12:21, Reply)

Ha
It's like a networking type affair some media agency is putting on... I'll go slow and gauge what everyone else is doing.
(The Boy Monders I have ginger bits in my beard., Thu 26 Nov 2009, 12:04, Reply)

Slow and steady
definitely wins that race.

rafter
baz
(bazmorningstar efil4nat3b, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 12:05, Reply)

I second the if it's friends or family pace yourself, but if it's a work thing take them for all they've got
So long as you don't have to make a presentation halfway through or need to be able to converse with people in a meaningful way.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 12:30, Reply)

Nothing important, just meeting local folk in the industry, get me feelers out kind of thing. All trendy media types, and here's me with a 70s porno tache for Movember.

Baz, I like it. Very Aesop Fables.
(The Boy Monders I have ginger bits in my beard., Thu 26 Nov 2009, 12:37, Reply)

Probably not the best idea to get utterly wankered then.

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 12:40, Reply)

Great advice
I shall try to keep it in mind.

Cheers y'all!
(The Boy Monders I have ginger bits in my beard., Thu 26 Nov 2009, 12:45, Reply)

While 3 free bottles of wine seems obviously better than two
I - and the other guests at my mate's wedding reception - would disagree. Know your limits!
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 12:40, Reply)

I seem to be in the minority when I see a free food/bar, and think it spoils the whole thing for yourself if you have so much that you simply don't enjoy it anymore.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 12:44, Reply)

Tee Hee, they're talking about "fadge cakes" (like a potato pancake from ireland) on Market Kitchen.
Tee Hee
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 12:46, Reply)

I can't enjoy it because I'm afraid of appearing gluttonous
I'd rather pay so I could eat/drink tons and not be criticised or embarrassed.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 12:46, Reply)

I hate the prawn stand-off when sharing food.
Where you think "There are 10 prawns, I've had 3, there are 2 left, by rights they should be mine, I love prawns, but I had to look pathetic over pawns, but c'mon, __PRAWNS___, I know, if I eat one quickly, they'll be one left, so that'll be mine, but I'ld have wasted a prawn because I had to hurry it. I'ld rather save it for the end of the meal, but by then they might take it, do I say something? I can't say anything, that would be really pathetic. FUCK, THEY'VE TAKEN ONE OF THEM" to yourself.

That's made worst if you're not paying.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 12:59, Reply)

You can have all my prawns.
I'm terrified of them. But I'll eat one soon. I ate one on a canape accidentally. There was nowhere to spit it and I necked it like a tablet. Urgh.

What don't you like? Maybe it's on of my favourite foods. We could go round buffets together and really clean up with double helpings.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 13:00, Reply)

My 'food hell' is tinned tuna.
The only way I like tuna is in sashimi or marks'n'sparks sushi.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 13:04, Reply)

I'll have all the tuna pasta
You have all the prawns.
We'll never fight at a buffet.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 14:02, Reply)

What?!
You're a mental, mate!
(The Boy Monders I have ginger bits in my beard., Thu 26 Nov 2009, 13:03, Reply)

It's worst when you then resent someone for it.
But people resent me for not finishing off drinks, loads of times I'll buy a pint not to look out of place, but not really want it, so end up leaving most of it.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 13:06, Reply)

Took me ages to learn that one
If you're half a pint behind everyone else and it's time to go, it's fine to just leave it instead of necking it and feeling sick.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 13:19, Reply)

I've always hated those who go "OH MY GOD, YOU SPILT SOME BOOOOOZE / SAVE THE BOOOZE !!!" even as a teenager.
In my mind, it's always been the most pathetic attention seeking I've whitnessed.

Some shitcunt I used to hang around with was like that all the time.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 13:23, Reply)

Nah
You need a good hearty Blessed style "oh no, SPILLAGE!" so that the spiller realises what they've done. And so does everyone else in the pub. Likewise for "sack the juggler!" when someone drops a glass.

It's grim up norf.
(The Boy Monders I have ginger bits in my beard., Thu 26 Nov 2009, 15:20, Reply)

At one works do many years ago I tried to climb out onto the hotel bedroom ledge to wave at everyone the city centre.
I also walked into a room where a married colleague of mine getting it on with a kitchen fitter I was after. It sticks in my mind because it was like a scene from a Carry on film.

(It was a kitchen company I worked for at the time)
( girlinthehole, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 12:53, Reply)

I have been to two free bars in my life
First was at a uni do and they had lots of wine for everyone and only about 20 people turned up and we all got drunk and good times were had.

Second was at a wedding.

The love of my life at 17 dumped me, I was distraught. But her aunt had invited me to her wedding and I thought it rude not to go. Especially as I had only been split a few days and thought a wedding with her in attendance would cause some kind of reconciliation. When I saw her kiss someone else I did what every normal heartbroken 17 year old would. I went to the bar and ordered three shots and a pint. Knocked them back and continued to down the Sambucas to every pint of Guinness. I was also getting the 14 year old ushers pints too. I didn't last long and was found puking in the toilets by the usher who took me outside and put me in a flowerbed. My ex's dad (who is awesome) found me and drove me back to his place and put me in his daughters bed and made her sleep on the sofa when she got home. When told of my antics I had done a chevy chase tequila and thrown it over my shoulder on to the bride. Told the brides very Catholic mother that only a retard would think condoms were a bad idea. I had taken the disposable cameras off most of the tables and taken them into the toilets (need I go further?) and gotten two 14 year old boys in to a lot of trouble with their parents.

Fuck it I thought, I'm never going to see any of them again. 11 years on and I think I'm still in love with the girl but haven't seen any of them since.
( Peej, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 13:14, Reply)

Go steady
and pace yourself. I learnt this lesson the hard way the first free bar I attended with my parents- their friends were having some themed party or the other at the nicest hotel in town, with free bar. A good twenty shots of various alcohols later, just because it was there and you learn how glistening white loo walls become not so glistening white :(
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 14:45, Reply)

Noted
But good show, I imagine!

I'm still a bit ropey from last nights Krombacher inspired lairyness so doubt I'll be putting too much away anyways.
(The Boy Monders I have ginger bits in my beard., Thu 26 Nov 2009, 15:17, Reply)