It's only ruddy bloody snowing outside!!
Ooooooh Christmas, Christmas, Christmas

How are you doing today, my lovely B3tans?
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Wed 16 Dec 2009, 11:09, 52 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I've uncovered the finest lie on QOTW EVER.
www.b3ta.com/questions/chattingup/post590855

I'm still unsure as to whether it's a cunning satire or not.
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 11:11, Reply)

Your 'tell people you've fucked the Queen'
retort is fucking superb.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 11:18, Reply)

I love tales like that..
...the teller invariably replies with 'well I was there, I should know'.


It's right up there with this one b3ta.com/questions/onthebox/post449695
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 11:24, Reply)

You should post a link to the fail collection in the replies to all of these

Although this might disuade them from amusing us further
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 11:26, Reply)

Aaaaamorous
The link to 'Bank Loan' is b0rked.
( djtrialprice, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 11:35, Reply)

Ahhh fuck it, it took me ages to find that one too.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 14:12, Reply)

Ah yes we saw that one the other day
I let the dood off as he has an Eddie Izzard quote in his sig... I am easily pleased though!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Wed 16 Dec 2009, 11:19, Reply)

It's true.
And tha cab was a H*nd* Ac*o*d.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Wed 16 Dec 2009, 12:18, Reply)

It's snowing in London?
This may throw my bash plans out.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 11:12, Reply)

Oooooh
Great big balls of snow now! Hazah!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Wed 16 Dec 2009, 11:21, Reply)

You're just trying to stop me coming to london aren't you?

(PsychoChomp, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 11:22, Reply)

Not at all my friend
I shouldn't think it would do anything to the trains... its just flying around, its not settling.
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Wed 16 Dec 2009, 11:25, Reply)

I read that reply in the voice of a sleazy turkish kebab shop owner.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 11:52, Reply)

No
Then I would have called you Boss...
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Wed 16 Dec 2009, 11:55, Reply)

"my friend" works too,
cheeelee saource mie frrend?
(PsychoChomp, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 11:57, Reply)

Ah yeah it does!
Clever!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Wed 16 Dec 2009, 12:00, Reply)

I kept getting called 'pretty baby'
when I was in Greece by scary old men *shudders*
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Wed 16 Dec 2009, 12:01, Reply)

eyyyhhh, you liachh meenced lahhmb preety?

(PsychoChomp, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 12:11, Reply)

By balls of snow
She means tiny specks that melt as soon as they hit the ground, although I sure the trains will be borked (PC gone mad, leaves on the line, immigants etc)
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 11:24, Reply)

Meh
I just wanted to say Big Balls! :D
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Wed 16 Dec 2009, 11:31, Reply)

I've decided not to go myself
Which makes me very sad. I'd love to go to the one on Saturday as I'll know mostly everyone there but I'll be back in Scotland by then. Most likely bored off my nut.
( djtrialprice, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 11:25, Reply)

I've just done all of my Christmas shopping online on my pissy little phone.
This is the way forward. Fuck trawling through thousands of people in the shopping centres on Christmas Eve under pressure to buy gifts to people. Sat on my arse drinking tea and munching peanuts will be my Christmas shopping tradition from now on!
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 11:12, Reply)

Not bad thank you, madam
My remortgage has completed today - a cheque for around £43,000 is going out to me in tonight's post.

Unsurprisingly this has raised me somewhat above my usual torpor...
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 11:13, Reply)

Try not to spank it all on nines and bitches.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 11:14, Reply)

don't forget blunts and 40s

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 12:18, Reply)

That's an awful lot of ''stuff'
My mate had some the other night at £100 p/g!
( SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 11:16, Reply)

Snowing in London indeed.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 11:18, Reply)

I've seen flake at £80
Preposterous!
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 11:19, Reply)

If you use the money raised from remorgaging your house to pay for drugs you're a fucking retard.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 11:21, Reply)

^ this

(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Wed 16 Dec 2009, 11:24, Reply)

retard party-animal
( djtrialprice, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 11:30, Reply)

It leaves me with around 70k equity
I'm using it primarily to clear debts and I need some putting aside for a new roof. However I would be a big fat liar if I didn't admit that I'll be treating myself a bit. I don't think it's cool and hard, it IS to a certain extent retarded, but there you go.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 11:41, Reply)

It's not free money, remember that.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 11:54, Reply)

sage words indeed.
It does mean, however, that Christmas is 'back on' for me.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 12:01, Reply)

£75 up here!
Still a but too rich for me that. Credit Crunch!
(The Boy Monders I have ginger bits in my beard., Wed 16 Dec 2009, 14:38, Reply)

OH WOW A DRUGS REFERENCE CAN WE DO SEX NOW YOU MIGHTY COCKED WIZARD?

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 11:33, Reply)

Are you coming to the bash tonight?
If not why not.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 11:37, Reply)

Dunno me old mucker
It sort of depends on work at the moment... If I do, I doubt it'll be for long. Porterhouse, correct?
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 11:43, Reply)

Yep, I'll be there from about 6:30 until about 10:30

(PsychoChomp, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 11:48, Reply)

sitting at home
waiting for the RAC to come and look at my car, again.

Ladies, Gentlemen & Caster Samenyas, never ever, ever buy a Fiat Cunto (it starts off as a punto but after the 5th or 6th breakdown, head gasket popping, radiator breaking, non starting event it is definately a cunto that needs a punto off a cliff)
(Halfy By light alone, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 11:40, Reply)

Get a Polo
mine is a tank, it's indestructable!
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 11:43, Reply)

last car
was a Vulva 440 which was awesome until around 140,000 miles when everything went wrong.
(Halfy By light alone, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 11:44, Reply)

140k is quite a lot...

I've 90k so fra, never service her, thrash the engine and it's all been good bar a couple of exhausts
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 11:54, Reply)

the cunto
just clocked 100,000 a few weeks ago.

Oh good, and RAC is going to be 2 hours, thank fuck I can work from home
(Halfy By light alone, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 12:05, Reply)

Fix
It
Again
Tomorrow
( djtrialprice, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 11:50, Reply)

I wondered who that man was crying and swearing
as I drove down King Hedges road this morning ;)
( djtrialprice, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 11:51, Reply)

hah
didn't even get that far!
(Halfy By light alone, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 12:04, Reply)

I've got another day off
so I only got out of bed about 20 minutes ago and it has left me feeling dazed.

Shortly I will be going to make myself a toasted cheese and kabanos sandwich and a cup of tea.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 12:19, Reply)

'Ruddy'
A sadly neglected word these days - will endeavour to use it more often.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 12:30, Reply)

Its a great word
I use it quite a bit! :D
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Wed 16 Dec 2009, 13:10, Reply)

A bit of snow + 30 13 year old girls = Absolute insanity.
That is me for the next hour....
(ConanTroutman thought we would free the vulture, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 12:59, Reply)

*inserts peado joke*
( girlinthehole, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 13:01, Reply)