b3ta.com qotw
You are not logged in. Login or Signup
Home » Question of the Week » Off Topic » Post 596085 | Search
This is a question Off Topic

Are you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.

(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
Pages: Latest, 837, 836, 835, 834, 833, ... 1

« Go Back | Popular

In Metro today, it says:
B3ta - the venerable British-based 'puerile digital arts community' is still the home of some of the funniest, most creative and most unfairly talented people around.
And you lot, presumably.
I have no questions. I only have answers.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 13:49, 109 replies, latest was 16 years ago)
Do you have the answers to everything?
Or just some things?
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 13:58, Reply)
I can usually provide a response,
even when clearly I shouldn't.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 14:00, Reply)
So, I could, say, treat you as my Magic 8 ball for a day
and you wouldn't mind?
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 14:01, Reply)
I wouldn't mind, no.
That means my answers need only be short.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 14:02, Reply)
*picks up Clendrix and shakes her, whilst meditating on a difficult decision*

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 14:03, Reply)
*tries not to throw up pork katsu*

(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 14:06, Reply)
Was that my answer?

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 14:07, Reply)
You can have that if you like.
Or you can ask me something...
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 14:10, Reply)
Ok...
At New year, should I stay in and behave, or carry on woeful?
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 14:15, Reply)
Stay in.
Find someone cute to stay in with and cook curry.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 14:18, Reply)
sorry, I'm busy

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 14:23, Reply)
*gets onto it right away*
That's a very good idea.
Oh, and it's ok Vip, I was thinking of your your bird actually. Your bird, her brunette tresses, her fit nose and some chicken curry. Oh yeah. *puts on the Kenny G*
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 14:26, Reply)
hehe
I'm going to have to pass that on to her, she's not a fan of her nose.

she does cook some really good curries
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 14:28, Reply)
Her nose is the best thing on her kite!!
People with good noses don't know how lucky they are.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 14:31, Reply)
I think it is a good nose
I think she was subjected to some teasing when she was younger, as she needed to grow into it

also, kite? not familiar with that
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 14:34, Reply)
It means face
(I think it was originally 'kite race' = 'face'.
My mum hates her nose too. It's the one thing I wish I'd inherited from her.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 14:40, Reply)
I gathered that it means face
just couldn't figure out why

my mrs tells me that since her surfing accident that hers now bends more in one direction than the other...
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 14:45, Reply)
Someone hit my mum's nose with a conker
and it was nicer afterwards
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 14:46, Reply)
I broke mine on a mate's shoulder
while headbanging. Claret everywhere.

Looks better after
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 14:54, Reply)
I love that word
So much so that I intend to marry a man whose surname begins with 'T'.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 14:58, Reply)
hahaha
excellent plan
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 15:02, Reply)
If she says '42' I'm gonna shit myself.

(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 14:00, Reply)
Noooooo

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 14:01, Reply)
Who should I kiss on New Years?

(PsychoChomp, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 14:01, Reply)
Well, there's Al's mum, but it will only end in filth.
How about the woman next door?
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 14:02, Reply)
She is very nice but she has a boyfriend who I like.
Upstairs hottie is nicer, and her boyfriend is a smug cunt.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 14:03, Reply)
What, Vipros lives upstairs?
Go for it. He'll console himself with one of his huge sandwiches.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 14:07, Reply)
He's like Vipros would be if he owned a BMW.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 14:07, Reply)
*shudders*

(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 14:08, Reply)
I was considering buying a BMW
I'm going to get a van instead though
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 14:09, Reply)
shut it you
I'm not the only one, and I wouldn't be smug if I lived in MK
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 14:07, Reply)
Oh, it's you.
Hello.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 14:08, Reply)
alright?

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 14:09, Reply)
Yep, OK ta.
Just whiling away the hours.
*yawns*
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 14:11, Reply)
I actually have some work to do this week
makes a change
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 14:11, Reply)
I have more work than I'm actually able to do
so I'm doing none of it.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 14:15, Reply)
^ Completely this

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 14:15, Reply)
that is an excellent technique
you'll know which needs taking care of first when it starts to smell
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 14:17, Reply)
are they going to be in the vicinity
at the appropriate time?
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 14:07, Reply)
No probably not, I have a feeling the people who will be around me on New years are either.
Ex's,
ex's of friends,
girlfriends of friends,
sisters of friends,
sisters of friend's girlfriends,
And one other.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 14:09, Reply)
sisters of friends' girlfriends are fair game surely?
who is the other?
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 14:10, Reply)
My mate C**** she's just broken up with her boyfriend
Kissing her is a possibility but nothing else would happen.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 14:11, Reply)
Bloody hell, and you criticise BarryfromEastenders!!
Put it in her!
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 14:12, Reply)
I haven't declared my love for her though,
she's a nice girl but I'm not interested.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 14:13, Reply)
oh I see

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 14:14, Reply)
I'm almost certain she's not interested in me too,
it's not like I'm beating her off with a stick.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 14:15, Reply)
maybe you should try beating yourself off with a stick

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 14:16, Reply)
Women don't like being beaten off with a stick
Well you could build up to that, but I'd start slowly with a bit of fingering first.
EDIT Ha!
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 14:16, Reply)
Who's the doity beetch now?

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 14:19, Reply)
Me, Miss :)

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 14:20, Reply)
you never know
drunkness, irrationality....
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 14:12, Reply)
I'm pretty damn certain.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 14:16, Reply)
sisters of friends' girlfriends it is then
unless they like 8 or something
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 14:16, Reply)
I have no idea how old she is, I haven't met her
according to my friends girlfriend she's "the good looking one" which is a good sign but she might hate me, or I might hate her etc etc.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 14:18, Reply)
you'll probably hate each other
this does not mean that you can't get some action out of it.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 14:21, Reply)
Oh for fuck's sake man...
are you building up for a New Year's Emo or something?
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 14:21, Reply)
That's the trouble with chompy.
He over-analizes everything.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 14:28, Reply)
GOATSE

(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 14:29, Reply)
Thanks for your brilliant insight into my life.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 14:32, Reply)
Just not getting my hopes up,
new years is nearly always a let down.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 14:31, Reply)
that is true
I've learnt to control my expectations, and if I treat it like any other night then it doesn't disappoint
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 14:35, Reply)
you've got a mate called 'Cunt'?

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 14:18, Reply)
ha ha,
no but I will call her that from now on.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 14:19, Reply)
I'd guess it was the same as my name...
So yeah, Cunt it is!
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 14:19, Reply)
What's your name?

(PsychoChomp, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 14:20, Reply)
Roota!
I'm willing to bet it's whatever your mate's name is.
How old is she?
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 14:21, Reply)
25-26

(PsychoChomp, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 14:21, Reply)
Yup
That's my name too
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 14:23, Reply)
or your IQ
rolmao
(PsychoChomp, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 14:35, Reply)
i'll fuck you up in a minute kidda!

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 14:41, Reply)
Clendrix, Clendrix, on the wall.
Who in B3ta has the fairest norks of all.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 14:07, Reply)
Well, that would be The Grammar Badger.

(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 14:07, Reply)
Hold on.
'Fair' as in 'pale', or 'fair' as in 'gorgeous'?
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 14:08, Reply)
Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
*dons witches outfit and poisons apple*
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 14:09, Reply)
i like norks

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 15:17, Reply)
O! Wise One!
I need to clear the ice and snow off my garden path. I have shovelled it clean but have no grit or salt. Will throwing antifreeze on it do any good?
(I helped save b3ta! crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 14:09, Reply)
yes it will
but it won't last very long.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 14:10, Reply)
Thank you, and damn.

(I helped save b3ta! crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 14:10, Reply)
use breakfast cereal instead

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 14:11, Reply)
Get Catface to lick it and salt it.
Then send him out to scrub the path.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 14:12, Reply)
I invented Chicken Scratchings.
blog.90nz0.com/2009/12/21/chicken-scratchings/
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 14:11, Reply)
*vomits*

(PsychoChomp, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 14:12, Reply)
Necessity is the mother of invention, Gonz.
I dread to think what need spawned this.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 14:14, Reply)
Yummy!
I'd eat those
(I helped save b3ta! SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 14:15, Reply)
top tip
pour boiling water over them first, then oil and salt them

learned that from making peking duck.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 14:15, Reply)
Call them something else and I'm on board.

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 14:17, Reply)
Fried Dead Skin

(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 14:19, Reply)
*salivates*

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 14:20, Reply)
New 'Poultry Scabs'

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 14:36, Reply)
I don't think it's poultry at all.
Gonz constantly complains about the Third Housemate and now he's suddenly, and for no reason, gone.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 14:40, Reply)
*puts two and two together*
*calls Bergerac*
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 14:41, Reply)
Like what?
Roast poultry flesh?
(I helped save b3ta! SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 14:20, Reply)
i've thought of one but I'm scared someone will steal it

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 14:22, Reply)
Come on love,
We're all friends here. Noone will steal it
(I helped save b3ta! SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 14:23, Reply)
skinny dippers!!

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 14:27, Reply)
*steals*

(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 14:39, Reply)
You complete cunt
But the jokes on you because I've TM'd it.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 14:42, Reply)
I'll violate your trademark
Violate it HARD.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 15:33, Reply)
Peter Noone from Herman's Hermits?
The thieving cunt. The only 'something good' he'd be 'into' if I got hold of him would be a nice bathful of sand like that Japanese chappie did to that hostess lady.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 14:49, Reply)
I know a woman who used to ride his sister like a pony across the playground when they were kids
She still gives this out to children as advice for dealing with bullies.
"Just ride her across the playground. She won't do it again!"
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 14:51, Reply)
Ha! Roota Gold there

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 15:24, Reply)
chicken lickins

(I helped save b3ta! crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 14:22, Reply)
Oh that's ace.
Mine seems shit now...
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 14:22, Reply)

peau de poulet rôti.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 14:25, Reply)
salty coq?

(bazmorningstar efil4nat3b, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 14:26, Reply)
yes!

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 14:36, Reply)
Indeed!
There's nothing better than a bit of salty coq
(I helped save b3ta! SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 14:41, Reply)
Particularly greasy, salty coq

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 14:45, Reply)
that's just been for a steam...

(bazmorningstar efil4nat3b, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 15:05, Reply)

« Go Back | Reply To This »

Pages: Latest, 837, 836, 835, 834, 833, ... 1