Curses
Someone has stolen my MC Hammer mug from the cupboard at work - I am most peeved! :(

What are you most peeved about today?
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 14 Jan 2010, 11:22, 103 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

You can't touch it now.
*dies*
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 11:26, Reply)

Hehehe
The thing is the bloody mug says 'Can't touch this mug'... someone is clearly a bum.
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 14 Jan 2010, 11:28, Reply)

Today yeah
a cat was sat in my driveway making me late. I tried to shoo him out the way but to no avail.

Five minutes he made me late. Which was only enough time to draw up a list of 22 ways to kill a cat.

1. Run it over
2. Get a really big dog
3. Get a bear
4. Get in my personal jet fighter and blast it away
5. Fall over a dog onto the cat squashing it
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 11:26, Reply)

*Copy'n'paste*
I do hope you're not actually suggesting what I think you're saying.
That BGB is the kind of monster that would put on her Size 10 Doctor Martins, and find her cat, lour it in with something she believes the cat wants (but something she's prepaired to give, unlike 'love' and 'affection'), and then when she's got hold of the cat, reveals the shiney silver duct tape. Then use this tape to tape the cat to the floor, as the cat resides itself to another night of torture (the cat is thinking at this point "What did I do wrong?" and the awnser is "be a cat"). Then BGB lifts her legs up high, her knee is almost touching her stomach with the height of her limited edition size 10 doctor martins, and she brings it down with furry, shouting at the poor innocent kitty at the top of her voice, not with any words, but a mash of swares that only she can understand. She brings her size 10 doctor martins down on the kitty's paw again and again, until eventually she is exorsted, and the cat's paws are broken. She the whipes off the blood on the fir of the obliterated cat, satisfied that the lesson is taught, the lesson of "Don't be a cat" to the cat, alas, one it'll never learn.

I do hope you're not suggesting that.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 11:28, Reply)

That's the worst spelling of lure I ever did see
Unless it's a typo and it's meant to say flour. Flouring a cat is mean. Although relative to the rest of the post it's probably not that mean.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 11:37, Reply)

I quite liked...
...'exorsted'.
(ThomsonsPier consumes, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 11:45, Reply)

You're gonna HAVE to do a passive aggressive email...

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 11:27, Reply)

o0o0o0o0o0o. that reminds me, I have to write to Subway today !

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 11:29, Reply)

What about?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 11:30, Reply)

The fact they don't meet
Gonz's high standards
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 11:31, Reply)

The crushing disapointment.
I'm bored and want to see if I can score some freebies.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 11:32, Reply)

Might be difficult as they are franchised I believe

You would need to get vouchers of some kind
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 11:33, Reply)

I think I'm going to have a Columbo style mission
around the office. I'll distract them with work talk and then as I'm leaving I'll turn around and hit them with the 'just one more thing' line! :D
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 14 Jan 2010, 11:30, Reply)

To really soften them up
you should tell them that Mrs Columbo is a big fan of theirs
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 11:31, Reply)

Hahaha
Mrs Columbo... aka DiT!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 14 Jan 2010, 11:32, Reply)

Oh man!
I love you!
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 11:33, Reply)

*swoons*

(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 14 Jan 2010, 11:34, Reply)

this is an excellent plan

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 11:32, Reply)

It can't go wrong!
I will find my mug dammit. I'm stuck drinking out of some tall girly polka dot chipped monstrosity, its not making me happy.
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 14 Jan 2010, 11:34, Reply)

remember to make yourself look like a dishevelled idiot
You must have seen DiT dressing routine enough times by now.
( djtrialprice, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 11:33, Reply)

You are Gok Wan
AICMFP

Oh... girlfriend
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 14 Jan 2010, 11:36, Reply)

dammit
Why do people keep saying that!
( djtrialprice, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 11:38, Reply)

Maybe because
You're prancing around the place telling ladies what to wear whilst grabbing their jubblies and calling them a Gokette... oh and snapping your fingers lots... maybe that's why?
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 14 Jan 2010, 11:42, Reply)

you just want me to jiggle your assets
I've seen through your shallow shenanigans but will oblige nonetheless
( djtrialprice, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 11:58, Reply)

Damn am I that transparent?
*pushes together assets*
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 14 Jan 2010, 12:01, Reply)

*explodes*

( djtrialprice, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 12:08, Reply)

what does AICMFP mean?
All I could think of was "and I can motherfucking prove it" but there's no I on the end so I guess it's not that.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 11:47, Reply)

And I Claim My Five Pounds :)
www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=aicmfp
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 14 Jan 2010, 11:51, Reply)

ahhh
I feel much better now, thanks. And I remembered to look up TOAP while I was there, another one that has been bugging me for a while!
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 12:05, Reply)

i think that's what
it stands for now
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 11:53, Reply)

waking up peeved me
I really struggled with it today. my own fault for getting righteously stoned last night I suppose...
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 11:32, Reply)

I got walloped last night
I feel like someone has poked me in the eyes.
I was late for work but i didn't rush. I'm a hobo.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 11:34, Reply)

that look is in at the moment
hobo-chic
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 11:37, Reply)

Derelicte my balls

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 11:40, Reply)

Hehehehe
I love Zoolander!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 14 Jan 2010, 11:42, Reply)

Orangemochafrappacino!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 11:43, Reply)

Hehehe
That bit makes me sad when they all die in the petrol station! :(
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 14 Jan 2010, 11:46, Reply)

Clients expecting stuff on particular dates

but completely failing to fufill their side of the work and still expecting the same completion date, twat badgers.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 11:34, Reply)

a college that won't change an interview date
for me.
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 11:36, Reply)

Tell them you're disabled

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 11:42, Reply)

haha

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 11:46, Reply)

i'm not sure
crippled by indecision counts
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 11:52, Reply)

neither does
having difficulties learning to reschedule
( djtrialprice, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 11:59, Reply)

I got a mug for christmas,
brought it in on monday, it disapeared on wednesday.
scumbags.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 11:39, Reply)

What kind of mug?

i got a mug teaching me how to do "the caterpiller"
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 11:40, Reply)

It's a boring Stig from top gear mug.
It's black though so it doesn't look so shit when I spill coffee over the edge.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 11:41, Reply)

Is it in the shape of his helmet?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 11:49, Reply)

huh huh
'helmet'
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 11:55, Reply)

some vacuous bint broke my mug
then argued that it was hers because it was purple, despite it clearly having Natwest written on the side which was where I'd nicked it from when I worked there.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 11:41, Reply)

You had access to tens of thousands of punds and you stole a mug

you mug
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 11:42, Reply)

stealing money from a bank is not that easy when you are working there as a temp
I also stole a clock though. that's got to count for something
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 11:43, Reply)

Yeah I thought as much, back on the game for me

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 11:45, Reply)

Hehehehe mug theft
Its rife!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 14 Jan 2010, 11:44, Reply)

I have an awesome colour changing mug
that goes from black to white with a frog on. People enjoy watching it change colour and as such make me more tea woo-a-woo
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 11:55, Reply)

That is pretty amazing!
One of the guys where I work is referred to as The Tea Monster - he has a mug the size of a bucket and it just says 'TEA MUG' on it in massive letters!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 14 Jan 2010, 12:03, Reply)

this is why
I keep my mug in my desk drawer and don't let the spactastic cleaners get their hands on it. I currently have a Dilbert mug which has a strip about the boss not needing to make a fresh pot of coffee when he finishes it. Prior to that it was a Histon FC mug that was presented to me by the chairman of the club.
( djtrialprice, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 11:50, Reply)

Who are you, fucking Craig David?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 11:46, Reply)

Re-e-wind.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 11:48, Reply)

That's below the belt Monty!

I am not a fat talentless R&B reject from Southhamton.

I am a fat talentless advertising reject from Slough
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 11:49, Reply)

How to read replies, a PsychoChomp guide.
When reading something on b3ta draw an imaginary line from the left of the post upwards until it hits another post. The one you've just hit is the original post.
Putting a ruler against your screen may also help.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 11:52, Reply)

But what if the post is higher upperer
than my screen is tallerer?
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 11:54, Reply)

Not you, dear boy, Chompy
He was the one who brought in a mug, lost his fucking mug on Wednesday, they were making love on Thursday...
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 11:54, Reply)

Ah, yeah the peril of having a tiny window for work purposes

B3ta lives in a world just 7" x6".
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 11:58, Reply)

Same as, mate
It's like a burka eye-hole on my screen
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 12:03, Reply)

My work email is still not working.
This is now day four with no email. DAY FOUR! I might have a very important email asking me to help out a Nigerian prince or anything.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 14 Jan 2010, 11:42, Reply)

OH NOES
You might miss out of tons of millions of monies!

Quick - to the internet cafe!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 14 Jan 2010, 11:45, Reply)

It's most annoying.
There were no spaces in the car park either this morning, so I'm parked on a double yellow line outside the building (along with about 50 other people) with constant intranet messages bombarding me stating that cars parked outside designated bays WILL BE CLAMPED OR TOWED AWAY. Yeah? Well build more fucking parking spaces then.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 14 Jan 2010, 11:48, Reply)

*Waves to DG and Tourette's*
We got the photos/CD in the mail - thank you :)
I'm listetning to "Too Many Pasties" now - to get Gummi Bear out of my head.

*hugs*
( Mrs Legless . . . belongs to, well, you know . . . :), Thu 14 Jan 2010, 11:45, Reply)

Ah, it arrived.
Lovely. Hope you enjoy!
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 14 Jan 2010, 11:48, Reply)

I have a had a sore throat for FIVE DAYS.
I am peeved that Al hasn't been round here with any 'special throat soothing lotions'.
( thealternativefact, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 11:46, Reply)

he's a right cunt is Al
you should give him what for
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 11:49, Reply)

He'll be getting no more tit texts, that's for sure.

( thealternativefact, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 11:52, Reply)

I'm available if you need to send them to someone

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 11:58, Reply)

How kind :)

( thealternativefact, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 11:58, Reply)

I'm willing to make the sacrifice

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 12:01, Reply)

Has he been banned again?

(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 14 Jan 2010, 11:53, Reply)

*fingers crossed*

(PsychoChomp, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 11:55, Reply)

Have you been gazzing the mods again?

(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 14 Jan 2010, 11:56, Reply)

Every minute of every day.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 11:57, Reply)

heard from snugglesacks yet?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 11:58, Reply)

No... I just don't get it????

(PsychoChomp, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 11:59, Reply)

MOOOOOAR GAZZES NEEDED

( djtrialprice, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 12:00, Reply)

she may still be trawling through her mountain of gazzes
trying to see if any of them weren't about you
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 12:01, Reply)

I bet she got less than 10.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 12:04, Reply)

definitely need more then
try and get it in the newsletter
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 12:17, Reply)

No, he's still around.
He's probably digging a hole in a field somewhere.
( thealternativefact, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 11:55, Reply)

For which to poop in
or just for the hell of it?
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 14 Jan 2010, 11:56, Reply)

He has to keep moving the body.
It's an arrangement he's got with Gerry and Kate.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 14 Jan 2010, 11:57, Reply)

And every time he digs her up
he gives her the once over, for old times sake.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 12:02, Reply)

What happened to Dok?

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 12:03, Reply)

he was one of those who fell by the wayside
"a tear shed for those lost"
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 12:04, Reply)

There's a lot of people who seem to have done that.
My friends list looks like a memorial for those who have been lost in the ether.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 14 Jan 2010, 12:11, Reply)

He probably left
after the trickle of teenage lesbians dried up
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 12:14, Reply)

I love you, Badger.
I really do.
( thealternativefact, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 12:19, Reply)

Nice use of the phrase 'dried up' there...

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 14 Jan 2010, 12:20, Reply)

As far as Clendrix is concerned he has!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 11:56, Reply)