Best cat toy EVAR
I recently changed the tin foil lining my grill pan. I came home last night to find that the cat had a new toy - it was like a regular "ball of tinfoil to bat around the kitchen floor" but this one oozed BACON FAT. She was not pleased to have it taken off her and spent the rest of the evening sitting with her back to me.

What was the last cool toy you got?
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 9:28, 48 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

*inserts vibrator joke*
( girlinthehole, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 9:31, Reply)

joke
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 9:32, Reply)

That reminds me,
the ladies in the office have asked me to bring in my percussion action massager today.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 9:43, Reply)

you going to have some kind of sapphic orgy?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 9:49, Reply)

*ears prick up*

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 9:51, Reply)

Your prick will not be needed for this sub-thread.

Edit - or your ears for that matter.
( girlinthehole, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 9:53, Reply)

Ha!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 9:59, Reply)

I doubt it.
She's not a very good lesbian.
( girlinthehole, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 9:52, Reply)

Concedes

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 9:59, Reply)

I honestly think they're auditioning it with other uses in mind
One's single and menopausal, the other has two toddlers that sleep in the middle of her and her partner.
I don't think either of those ladies are getting any.

But suddenly they're on about back aches and "Ooh Roots, would you bring that massager in... I'm thinking of buying one but wanna see what it's like..."
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 9:52, Reply)

You're honestly thin?
I believe ya ;)
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 9:54, Reply)

Ssshhhhh
;-)
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 9:55, Reply)

hah
you are almost certainly right about their motives

toddlers sleep in between them? why do they let that happen?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 9:56, Reply)

Even if they say no they said they wake up with them there.
I used to sometimes get in bed with my mum and dad, buut I'd shout in and ask in the middle of the night. The first time she said "No." I apparently bellowed along the hall, "EXCUSE ME, BUT I'M STILL UNDER FIVE YOU KNOW!"
How I was not the victim of infanticide I'll never know.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 9:58, Reply)

this is yet another reason not to have children

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 10:00, Reply)

KIDS NEED BOUNDERIES.
Preferably marked by six foot high barbed wire fencing.
( girlinthehole, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 10:01, Reply)

and machine guns

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 10:02, Reply)

I find they need boundaries.
*Smug*
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Thu 21 Jan 2010, 10:03, Reply)

Ah yeah, but it was nice to now I could go there if I'd had a nightmare or something
I just didn't take the piss.
Apart from the thunderstorm when I was 15.
I just ran along the landing with my fingers in my ears and dived between them. My dad jumped up and went "Fuck off will ya!!"
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 10:04, Reply)

Locking kids in the attic works.
It did me no harm.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Thu 21 Jan 2010, 10:06, Reply)

Haha!
Wuss!
( girlinthehole, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 10:06, Reply)

I'm much better with thunder storms now...
Honest...
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 10:08, Reply)

Surely a lock on the door would solve that problem?
Or am I missing something?
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 10:42, Reply)

Then they have kids howling all over the house
Don't ask me, I'm the same with my cat, so it's only fortunate that I have not procreated.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 10:44, Reply)

Procreating
with your cat? Is that legal? Or even possible?
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 10:48, Reply)

Well we are getting married
as soon as THAT becomes legal.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 11:11, Reply)

It depends which door you select for the lock.
This calls for an experiment.
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 10:49, Reply)

Rohypnol
would probably be a better solution.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 10:50, Reply)

There are a growing number of people who routinely give Calpol to their children
For no other reason than to make sure they go off to sleep.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 11:10, Reply)

Inserts vibrator.

(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Thu 21 Jan 2010, 9:42, Reply)

A tinfoil ball with bacon on it.
Till some cunt took it away.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Thu 21 Jan 2010, 9:33, Reply)

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
*Breathes*

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 9:35, Reply)

My cat used to be scared of tin foil
and that was how I kept him away from the Christmas tree.

Some time in December he became immune. Now he is fully northern like me, and likes nothing better than having a tin foil tray full of salty bacon juices places in front of him. Haven't bothered turning it into a toy, he just likes it accessible.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 9:35, Reply)

How odd
All the cats I've known have considered a ball of tinfoil the ne plus ultra of toys.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 9:43, Reply)

No, I used to put tinfoil anywhere I didn't want the cat to go,
like around the base of my bed (scratching at the sheets - git) and the top of the telly.
My house used to resemble Paranoid, Ohio.
But he couldn't give a shit now. Jumps everywheree, even on the narrow fireplace, smashing up my ornaments.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 9:45, Reply)

Bacon tasting mini bombs
Feed them to cats and watch the hilllllllarious results*

*warning do not use indoors. Small children will require double dosage for similar results
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 9:42, Reply)

My cats did something amazing last night and actually slept on the fucking cat beds I bought them instead of the usual places I don't like them sleeping.
I was going to get my camera out and take a picture for posterity.
( girlinthehole, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 9:50, Reply)

I find cats don't like cat beds.
They prefer chairs, beds, and anywhere warm.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Thu 21 Jan 2010, 9:55, Reply)

Then why do mine sleep next to the door where there is a bloody draft?

( girlinthehole, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 9:58, Reply)

'Cos they're a bit of the mong cat?

(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Thu 21 Jan 2010, 10:01, Reply)

Correct.

( girlinthehole, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 10:02, Reply)

Special needs cats.
Can't beat 'em.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Thu 21 Jan 2010, 10:06, Reply)

I know.
They're too fast.
( girlinthehole, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 10:10, Reply)

Well you can, but only because they're slower than normal cats

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 10:11, Reply)

Himself only sleeps on the cat cushion if I try to get him to sit on my knee

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 9:56, Reply)

The rentals cat likes to sleep in boxes that are far to small for him to fit into

and he is a fluffy cat cat so spills over the sides. If we were French we'd have to charge him for two boxes.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 10:14, Reply)

and quite right!
You can put my cat in a bag and close it, and he doesn't mind.
I find this odd, considering how even being stroked sometimes seems like an affront to his dignity.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 10:42, Reply)

Ah
But if the cat were from France, he would like to sing and dance, rather than hide in boxes.
(oball needs Satan more than he needs me, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 4:11, Reply)