Anybody ever pish the bed?
Drunk, ill, lazy, whatever the excuse, have you ever soiled your bedclothes. Shitting stories accepted.

For the record, I wet the bed, say about once a month, up until I was 10. Haven't done it since though.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 10:56, 36 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Only when I had gastroenteritus and was too weak to get up.

( girlinthehole, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 10:57, Reply)

You reminded me of a similar story when i was about 9
I was ill and was woken up and told to come downstairs, i was completely covere in shit, up the walls, the lot. My Gran had been alerted by the stench. I then had to stand in the kitchen sink while I was hosed down.

In retrospect, I rather enjoyed the experience.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 11:04, Reply)

No - it's worse than that
When I was a little Doris, staying with my grandparents. I managed to sleepwalk to the bathroom and waz into the laundry basket.........thus soiling everyone else's clothes...........
(Purpledoris I've got afeckin' job, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 10:59, Reply)

the fuck is this shit?

(PsychoChomp, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 11:00, Reply)

I got a comical email from a friend who admitted
that he was so blootered last night, that when he awoke he had pissed himself. I laughed like a loon, then wondered just how common this was.

Is what this shit is.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 11:02, Reply)

When I was little
I had this dream that this big rat was chasing me, like an evil one, and in the dream my foot got stuck down a rat-hole and I couldn't run away so I peed myself. Then I woke up and realised I'd peed the bed, and my cousin was staying, so I'd peed on her as well. And I woke her up to tell her about my nightmare she goes "Ugh, I'm sweating!" and I just shook my head and said "It's not sweat..." and she started crying and my dad had to get on the couch so we could get in bed with my mum.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 11:04, Reply)

Haha!
I love these little stories.
( girlinthehole, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 11:06, Reply)

I feel I should put "The End" at the end
and get a red tick.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 11:13, Reply)

No
but I quite often dream that I need a piss, and everytime I try something stops me. The strangest one was where I dreamt I was in the gents, lined up at the urinal and suddenly the gents turned into a crowded pub and the urinal turned into a table with attractive young women sitting around it.

I woke up and my bladder was so full it was painful.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 11:05, Reply)

I dream this a lot.
Not exactly the same dream obviously but I need a piss and can't find anywhere which usually wakes me up and I go to the loo.
( girlinthehole, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 11:07, Reply)

I hope my brain continues to block the progress of my wee dreams
"Captain, the bladder reports she cannae take any more and the brain is still shut down..."

"Red alert! Implement vicar walking in dream sequence"

"AH DOONT HAVE THE POOOOO'ER!"
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 11:11, Reply)

A number of times I have been dreaming that I was in the toilet,
Smeagle in hand ready to pee, and then, sweet release, I start peeing. Only to wake up with a jolt to find myself and my bed completely dry, no shame escaped, thankfully.

Quite disconcerting.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 11:09, Reply)

People say that if you hit the ground in a falling dream you die
utter bollocks, I have hit the ground many times

So perhaps it's ok to pee in dreams (dont want to test it myself).
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 11:13, Reply)

I've done this
a few times.

Rather strangely, i'm dreaming that I am actually peeing the bed, then wake up to find it completely dry
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 13:39, Reply)

I also have never ever had sex in a dream.
Something always happens in the dream to stop it which is not surprising really.
( girlinthehole, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 11:21, Reply)

I've had quite a few of those types of dream
but usually something happens before the money shot, and I wake up, proud.

The worst types of dream are the ones where you find or win lots of money, and it is so real, only to wake up, bleary eyed, on cold Monday morning and realise you are fucking skint till payday. it's that elation quickly followed by reality kicking it's head in that I find crushing.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 11:28, Reply)

or the dreams that seem so real that when you wake up
it takes a while to tell reality from dreamland.
(MichaelS wasn't picked again, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 11:52, Reply)

I once dreamt
I had acquired a full length black leather SS coat replete with insignia and armband, boy was I gutted when I woke up.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 16:40, Reply)

Always something happens

Once it was a Nazi invasion and I had to organise the resitance instead of pleasuring a young lady!
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 11:55, Reply)

I have had a friend wet my bed whilst I was sitting on it next to him
He was passed out drunk and I felt my leg get warm. I left him and the next day cleaned up. He left early in the morning and I presumed it was the embarrassment of waking up covered in piss. I saw him later that evening wearing the same clothes. He had no idea it had happened.
( Peej, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 11:28, Reply)

oh dear....

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 11:46, Reply)

No
But when I was small my parents woke me one morning and thought I had.

Then it occurred to them that, to have got out that much piss, they must have sired a chamois leather diabetic. Turns out my hot water bottle had burst.
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 11:37, Reply)

Which, unfortunately,
had been filled with piss.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 11:41, Reply)

Warm, warm piss.
But not mine. So it wasn't me.
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 11:52, Reply)

an old friend of mine, who subsequently turned into a tosser
pissed himself in Maths at school once.

THAT'S RIGHT, DUNCAN BRYANT PISSED HIMSELF IN MATHS AT THE AGE OF 12
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 11:47, Reply)

Outrageous
I sincerely hope he was put to the sword for the rest of his academic career.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 11:49, Reply)

no
no one but me knew about it. we were best mates at the time.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 11:54, Reply)

I'm working from home
so I'm lazing on my bed and I need a pee.


Does this count?
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 12:03, Reply)

You must pee for this to work
On webcam
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 12:06, Reply)

Fruity Roota!

(Cancer Joy was short lived, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 12:07, Reply)

It was water, I swear!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 12:11, Reply)

That would count as work I suppose
a Performance Peeeece.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 12:07, Reply)

Urine danger of being funny there :)

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 12:11, Reply)

but not much
/psychochomp
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 12:25, Reply)

When about ten or so
I was staying at my nan's. I pissed myself whilst asleep. Now, I don't like my little brother at the best of times, but he does have his advantages. I woke him up, threatened him with a beatdown and made him switch beds with me.

He got in trouble and I denied all knowledge.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 14:08, Reply)

Evil cunt

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 14:53, Reply)