I have, to date, not heard this awful Everybody Hurts cover
and I hope never to do so. In fact my recent Ludditism (no TV licence only listen to BBC Radios 4&7) have saved me from many an atrocity.

What are you damn glad to have missed that everyone else in the world has seen/heard/been subjected to?
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 2 Feb 2010, 15:01, 161 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Avatar

( Peej, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 15:05, Reply)

it's entertaining
the story is nothing new, but the rest of it is worthwhile

admittedly it would cause widespread panic in Cornwall, but then moving pictures only arrived there about a week ago...
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 15:08, Reply)

I liked it.
I didn't go to see it for the storyline. I went for the special effects.
( girlinthehole, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 15:10, Reply)

same here
but it's nice to have them linked together with something resembling a plot

the acting was pretty good, and the special effects, even disregarding the 3D stuff, were pretty fucking special
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 15:12, Reply)

Will I sound like a total twat if I say
"I don't and never have given a flying fuck about special effects"

My favourite movies have either no special effects or have effects shots that look like something that would actually realistically happen for example The Godfather had special effects shots but nothing that wouldn't actually happen. If a film has a great story and special effects then fair enough but I've heard so many people say "story is crap but the effects are good"

Oh and I hate Michael Bay simply because of his special effect wankery. SPECIAL EFFECTS ARE NOT PLOT MICHAEL BAY!
( Peej, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 15:15, Reply)

I love being wowed at the cinema.
And I love a good story too but I rarely expect the two to be offered at the same time.
( girlinthehole, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 15:17, Reply)

I liked the Matrix
because it had a good story and had great special effects (for the time) to back up the story.

I hate The Matrix 2+3 because they took the special effects, multiplied them by 50, shoved them in an APU unit and machine gunned them in to our faces in an attempt to stop us noticing the story was wank.
( Peej, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 15:21, Reply)

the first matrix is shit when viewed with hindsight
the dialogue is incredibly painful to watch
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 15:31, Reply)

I know kung fuuu

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 15:32, Reply)

my mate's met Gaz Top.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 15:47, Reply)

And Gilbert?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 15:51, Reply)

No, just Gaz.
He won BMX Beat and Gaz Top presented him with the trophy.

This is definitely the 5th time I've posted this.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 16:15, Reply)

I've probably replied 'And gilbert?'
every time as well
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 16:29, Reply)

True
But bad dialogue doesn't always mean bad story.

Compare Star Wars Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back with Star Wars Episode I - The Phantom Menace. Both have terrible dialogue but one is a good film and one is an absolute steaming hunk of manure.
( Peej, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 15:35, Reply)

it's not the words they are saying, but the way they are delivered
I'm mainly looking at Laurence Fishburne here. Every. single. line. is. delivered. with. a. huge. amount. of drama. and. loads. of. space.

it drives me mental.

I think Equilibrium is a far superior film.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 15:37, Reply)

I think In Bruges is probably better than Avatar
But it didn't win an oscar.
( Peej, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 15:41, Reply)

That's hardly a like for like comparison.

( girlinthehole, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 15:43, Reply)

I wasn't trying to make a like for like comparison
I think I was just trying to show that a great film with a great story isn't going to do as well as a special effects show real with a not very good hackneyed story.
( Peej, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 15:49, Reply)

that's because idiots are involved in the selection process
but I imagine Avatar might win for best special effects, it's certainly not going to win best original story.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 15:51, Reply)

I like the review by someone I forget
that when 3D movies are the norm we will think that it was ground breaking but ultimately shit.
( Peej, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 15:57, Reply)

I could live without the 3D really
it was interesting, but ultimately didn't add anything and didn't make it seem like you were immersed by any means
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 16:01, Reply)

the two are worlds apart
what did Avatar win for?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 15:44, Reply)

It hasn't yet but we know it will

( Peej, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 15:48, Reply)

Bag of butterkist and you'll let anyone wow you in the cinema

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 15:22, Reply)

Only salty though : )

( girlinthehole, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 15:23, Reply)

Dirty cow

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 15:24, Reply)

ah, I haven't heard it either, I don't even like the original

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 15:07, Reply)

Me neither
but I have had the misfortune of hearing the original, which is a load of bleating fucking shit.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 15:26, Reply)

REM
*shudders*
I was forced to listen to them constantly while growing up.
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 15:35, Reply)

They are truly terrible in every way.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 15:48, Reply)

I used to work for a chap who was a massive REM fan.
Whenever he talked to me about how great they were his words would slowly dissolve, and I would be left with visions of steel slicing through intestines as I screamed at him to tell me exactly how he was 'losing his religion'.

Other than that small thing we got on like a house on fire.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 15:59, Reply)

The Office

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 15:07, Reply)

I can't stand the office
that cunt Gervais should be fired out of a cannon into a wall
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 15:09, Reply)

Agreed, he isn't funny at all
and he's shit at being a hollywood actor too.
( Peej, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 15:18, Reply)

Lost

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 15:09, Reply)

lost is the fucking business

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 15:11, Reply)

Well I couldn't be arsed

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 15:13, Reply)

I always watch the first few of a new series and then can't be bothered to keep watching.
Glee has rather hooked me though. I am a big fan of camp.
( girlinthehole, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 15:16, Reply)

Exactly what you just said.

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 15:16, Reply)

I watched season one and got totally hooked.
I just can't miss one now.
( Peej, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 15:18, Reply)

Lost gets better and better
I was skeptical when it started way back when and tuned out in series 3, but thanks to box sets and downloads I am back up to speed and hooked.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 15:27, Reply)

Hollyoaks

( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 15:11, Reply)

My god you're smug.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 15:11, Reply)

Moi?
Smug?
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 2 Feb 2010, 15:12, Reply)

Don't be afraid
this is PsychoChomp's usual chat up line.

He'll be selling you paperclips next.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 15:14, Reply)

HOLY SHIT IS IT A GIRL????

(PsychoChomp, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 15:15, Reply)

I didn't think you minded either way

( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 15:16, Reply)

I like breasts

(PsychoChomp, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 15:16, Reply)

And your point is?

( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 15:17, Reply)

*points at penis*

(PsychoChomp, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 15:19, Reply)

*Covers eyes*

( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 15:21, Reply)

As do I.
do you have breasts?
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 2 Feb 2010, 15:18, Reply)

No, not even moobs

(PsychoChomp, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 15:25, Reply)

Moobs don't count
They are a heresy.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 2 Feb 2010, 15:29, Reply)

He never tried to sell me des trombones
Just like Edmund never gazzed me his cock.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 15:17, Reply)

Me neither
I did however send Chompy a picture of my cock.

He liked it.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 15:18, Reply)

He laminated it

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 15:19, Reply)

And licks it every morning

( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 15:20, Reply)

and the picture!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 15:23, Reply)

Boom! Boom!

( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 15:23, Reply)

He does know I'm a boy, right?
well maybe 34 is a bit old for 'boy', but definitely and outy rather than an inny if you see what I mean.

Anyway, not to worry I have lurked long enough to know of the delightful Mr Chomp and his ways. Thanks for the warning all the same.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 2 Feb 2010, 15:17, Reply)

So hand over the croissants then!

( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 15:18, Reply)

can't stand them
or not in this country anyway, they seem to do them better in France somehow.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 2 Feb 2010, 15:21, Reply)

And Cornwall, apparently
According to Vipros, anyway.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 15:22, Reply)

TRUFACT
They are awesome when you can get them, Vipros usually gets to them first, the cunt.
( Peej, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 15:32, Reply)

I've said nothing of the sort
for a start, I don't live in Cornwall
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 15:32, Reply)

Cunt
Anyone not living in Cornwall is a cunting cunt
( Peej, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 15:36, Reply)

can it, 'Jethro'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 15:37, Reply)

AAAHAHAHAHAH
Jethrene!!
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 15:47, Reply)

shut it you old bastard
or I'll slap your bitch ass raw
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 15:47, Reply)

Do you do that to everyone who insults you.
you fucking straw-eater?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 15:50, Reply)

you are in no position to mock me for where I live

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 15:51, Reply)

I tried...

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 15:52, Reply)

huge fail I'm afraid

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 15:54, Reply)

Fine
there are plenty of yokels willing to tan my hide anyway.
And they don't look like a cathedral with a beard.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 15:55, Reply)

I'm going to need to make sure I'm wearing a straw hat and dungarees when I meet some of you people aren't I?
otherwise you will be upset
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 15:57, Reply)

I just burst out laughing
Oh man, ahahahahaha
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 15:58, Reply)

I was just looking on facebook
unfortunately the photo of me playing banjo at a gig while wearing a straw hat isn't on there
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 16:00, Reply)

It's for the best

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 16:02, Reply)

:-P

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 16:02, Reply)

nice sig

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 16:03, Reply)

so's yours

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 16:03, Reply)

Oh yeah!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 16:06, Reply)

*trigger fingers*

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 16:07, Reply)

....
what's that supposed to mean?
(PsychoChomp, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 15:18, Reply)

You do have ways.

( girlinthehole, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 15:19, Reply)

In all honesty,
you seem, to me to be a marmite kinda person, personally I generally find you funny, but am not overly surprised to be warned about you, make sense?
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 2 Feb 2010, 15:23, Reply)

Yes, I'm actually very nice.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 15:23, Reply)

I'm sure you are
(back slowly away making sooting hand gestures)
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 2 Feb 2010, 15:34, Reply)

but your sig!!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 15:19, Reply)

my sig?

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 2 Feb 2010, 15:53, Reply)

I loved that advert!!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 15:55, Reply)

Well it's stuck with me
I was cycling along the south bank of the Thames recently with my GF when a pub hoved into view recently and was moved to utter the immortal line. Then had to spend 10 minutes explaining it while being looked at like a mong by my German girlfriend who has only lived in the UK for the last 10 years.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 2 Feb 2010, 16:06, Reply)

i think me and my dad say it at least once a month
Sometimes when we can't even see a pub.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 16:16, Reply)

do you do the accent?
It's not that same without the accent.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 2 Feb 2010, 16:18, Reply)

Of course!
And you have to say SNOWY really hysterically.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 16:25, Reply)

Good girl
You shall go on the short list entitled "Scise not to be Exterminated come the Revolution"
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 2 Feb 2010, 16:29, Reply)

Cheers!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 16:38, Reply)

In the last 5 years or so...
Every series of:
Big Brother
X Factor
Dancing on Spunk
Oh sod it, any program where people are voted off

All:
Soap Operas
Sporting Events
Eurovision Song Contests
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 15:25, Reply)

^ same, same, same
Sports: gay, frightfully gay.
TV 'phenomena': gay



Loads of other shit that the peasantry enjoys to distract them from their meaningless, drudging serfdom: gay.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 15:29, Reply)

Who needs entertainment when you've got massive drugs eh?

(PsychoChomp, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 15:31, Reply)

Who needs shit lowest common denominator entertainment
when there are other more stimulating and ultimately rewarding forms of entertainment?

I'd rather drink meths with tramps than watch football, mind you.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 15:33, Reply)

Quite right old bean
*puts pipe in mouth*
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 15:32, Reply)

I bet you have dear.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 15:50, Reply)

Ha Ha!

( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 15:53, Reply)

Hahaha!
I really did read that in the style of Howerd.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 15:57, Reply)

I fucking love Eurovision

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 15:30, Reply)

Of course you do
girls are allowed to
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 15:33, Reply)

My dad slyly likes it too
Honestly, learning Bosnia Herzegovina's entry in Bosnian was one of the most worthwhile things I did.
Apart from learning Tatu's entry in Russian.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 15:34, Reply)

The only times I have ever watched Eurovision
is when I have had a girlfriend, in fact, you could replace "Eurovision" with "fuck awful TV".

Not that i'm bitter or nuffink.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 15:43, Reply)

Ne zazhigaj i ne gasi!

Ne ver', ne bojsya, ne prosi
I uspokojsyaaaaaaaa, i uspokojsyaaaaaaa!
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 15:48, Reply)

Yes, twice a day
but if it's hurting you that much perhaps you should stop doing it
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 15:54, Reply)

ya soshla S'uma

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 15:59, Reply)

Where am I going to find a camel this time of day?

( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 16:02, Reply)

naz ne dogonyat

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 16:03, Reply)

Well that sounds unhygenic
and I don't know my local vicar that well
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 16:09, Reply)

Beliye plaschic

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 16:12, Reply)

It's the wrong time of year for dandelions
and i'm pretty sure what you're suggesting is illegal
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 16:16, Reply)

malchik gay :(

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 16:26, Reply)

Well I dont think that IS how you play a trumpet
and i'm sure it invalidates the warrenty on the bread maker
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 16:30, Reply)

Robot robot!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 16:39, Reply)

Now you're just being silly

( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 16:42, Reply)

lyudi invalidi

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 16:59, Reply)

Harry Potter.
I didn't like the look of the speccy twat and that was it for me.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 15:27, Reply)

I heard it this morning
Its wank

Also, why do people take a song and cover it totally inappropriately

The Police - Every Breath You Take - Sting says "I think the song is very, very sinister and ugly and people have misinterpreted it as being a gentle, little love song." Everyone else covers it as a love song

Lou Reed - Perfect Day - Is song many people believe is Lou Reed romanticizing about his own heroin addiction really a good choice for a children in need charity single?

And Now REM
( Peej, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 15:30, Reply)

'Everybody Shirts'
would have been more appropriate.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 15:51, Reply)

:)

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 15:53, Reply)

"I like this"

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 15:53, Reply)

Hahahaha
My first thought was "I'm sure Haitians will hear the song and think "They're right, everybody hurts, lets just get on with it"
( Peej, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 15:55, Reply)

Ding Ding!!

(Cancer Joy was short lived, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 15:57, Reply)

Friends, never seen an episode
24 - Reefer Sutherland trying to be credible. Failing.
Hollyoaks - Filmed in Poofter-Vision
Mock of the Week - Self congratulatory circlejerk
Big Brother - Mindless programming for mindless viewers
Football - I work beside a girl who's boyfriend is frankly obsessed with CHELSEA FC, ob-fucking-sessed. i have to then listen to her DRONING FUCKERY as she goes on about something I care less and less about everytime she mentions it. The guy will watch ANY football that is on TV regardless of who is playing, and ENJOY IT. Stupid fucking cunt, i hope his diabetes smotes him mightily.
Question Time with Nick Griffin - What a fucking hoo-ha, get it tay fuck.
Deal or no Deal - It's got Noel Edmunds in, the hairy faced rapist.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 15:49, Reply)

24 is bloody awesome,
you should be banned.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 15:53, Reply)

Never seen it
I'm just not a big fan of Reefer Sutherland
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 15:55, Reply)

His old boy was alright, though.
His turn in Animal House is marvellous.

My father claims that film is practically a documentary on American universities in the mid 60s.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 16:03, Reply)

Donald was in one of the worst films I've ever seen
The Assignment
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 16:04, Reply)

Don't Look Now
Invasion of the Bodysnatchers and the Cloudbusting video with Kate Bush were fine moments for old man Sutherland
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 16:10, Reply)

how about the delightful new Italian Job?
Kelly's Heroes has him in I think, and is one of the greatest films ever
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 16:11, Reply)

I just knoooow that something good is gonna happeeeeen
I love that vid.
Have you read what it's all about?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 16:27, Reply)

As we all know
one in Kate Bush is worth three in the hand.


Massive toker, she is, as well.


*proposes*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 16:30, Reply)

Aye, ah remember reading about that
She could sook my joint, anyday.

If you haven't, you should check out her first ever TV appearance on You Tube. It is on some German TV show. She is wearing a red dress and dances about as though she is in heat and looks beautiful to boot.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 16:49, Reply)

I stopped watching it when Jacks daughter went from daft twat
to computer genius at CTU
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 16:00, Reply)

She hasn't aged well.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 16:04, Reply)

Women generally don't
BAM! Controversial
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 16:06, Reply)

You should be knighted
for services to 'being correct'
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 15:54, Reply)

you should be punished
for crimes against not being a bender
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 16:02, Reply)

Leave football alone.

( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 17:26, Reply)

A more serious answer
Any TV game show
Any big brother/dancing on ice/dancing off ice/rollerskating on cheese program
X-factor
Pop Idol
Britain's got Talent
Any soap opera since I moved out of home
Most modern music
( Peej, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 15:54, Reply)

Desperate Housewives - Formuliac, drama by numbers, that only Pinheads find 'brilliant and dark'
Dr Who - Flaccid attempt at scary drama, with none of the charm of the previous Dr's.
X Factor - I have a black sense of humour and a bit of a gorehound to boot. However the unflinching, 'We are all gonna laugh at the spastic' schtick that you get in the early stages is a bridge too far. These folk are deluded into believing they have something to offer the world, when it is apparent that they should be in residential care. Why bother pretending, tell them they are terrible and send them on their way. Don't be a sneaky two faced cunt and let them get up on stage, build their own gallows and then hang themselves. purely so we can laugh at them. It's the modern-day equivalent of a public execution. Barbaric and knowingly cruel, not for me thanks.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 16:08, Reply)

I have never enjoyed watching people being humiliated
not at school, not as an adult. I find it all deeply disturbing.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 16:12, Reply)

That is how I feel about karaoke.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 16:19, Reply)

I find Karaoke awful for a number of different reasons.
It's just so...common. Reminds me of package holidays and badly tatooed women.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 16:23, Reply)

Karaoke
is just one more of the things everyone used to laugh about on Clive James in the 80s that is now perfectly 'normal' entertainment in Britain. At the time it was all 'look at the ridiculous foreign game shows' like the BRILLIANT 'Endurance' - nowadays every night of the week you could watch a mong eating a kangaroo's cock if you so wished.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 16:24, Reply)

Sorry, can't do you a mong eating a kangaroos cock
...but I CAN do you, Jordan chewing on a kangaroo's arsehole if that helps?

I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here - Liberian Special

Tune in tonight for the first episode as our celebrities face their first night in the, 'Hell on Earth' that is West Point, Liberia. Tonight's episode is a cracker as triple jump hero, Johnathon Edwards is partially consumed by crack addicted cannibals and enjoy watching Liza Minnelli's rictus grin shatter, as she is violated by several dozen desperate darkies - 9pm, viewer discretion required.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 16:36, Reply)

Hahaha

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 17:57, Reply)

I must admit...
If there was a show with a real mong eating a kanagaroo cock I would tune in.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 16:39, Reply)

Very similar sensations
Fear
Desperation
Humiliation
Regret
Shame
Self loathing
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 16:25, Reply)

Jedward
They look like The Double Take Brothers from Harry Endfield and sound like Ant and Dec on Helium.

But as you don't have a telly, you won't have heard of them.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 16:17, Reply)

akcherly, I does have a telly
just don't use it to watch live TV. But I have heard of the afore mentioned beat-como and they are on my Glad I Missed It list, along with, That Thing With the Emo Vampires in it, any broadcast news & adverts

Edit: Googling "Thing With the Emo Vampires in it" has informed me that it is called Twilight.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 2 Feb 2010, 16:23, Reply)

I've never had the flu.
But I do have a remarkable ability to hate both sides of an argument.
johnmoynes.com/2010/02/02/pope-shits-in-woods-bears-outraged/
( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 16:23, Reply)

There's a bit too many posts in this thread for my liking
keep it down please.
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 17:25, Reply)

I have never...
Watched or attended a football match.
Watched any Big Brother programme.
Watched any 'celebrity' based programme (on ice, dancing, get me out of here etc etc).
Watched Britain's got talent, X factor or the like.
Bought a 'charity' single.
Given a flying fuck at a rolling doughnut about any celebrity/footballer/media whore's life.

I am a curmudgeonly old bastard.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 17:30, Reply)