Just back from the doctors
Turns out I am shorter than I thought. I am devastated as every centimetre counts!

Have you had any new insights about yourself recently?
(Mrs Ballunatic counting calories, not votes., Thu 11 Feb 2010, 12:34, 70 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

HR dude this morning told me,
"Sometimes you don't arrive fully engaged to do the job".

Disciplinary to ensue.

Loadabollix!

rafter
baz
(bazmorningstar efil4nat3b, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 12:39, Reply)

How can you correct that?
Does it mean turning up to work early, with a manic engaged grin on your chops? It doesn't make much sense.
(Mrs Ballunatic counting calories, not votes., Thu 11 Feb 2010, 12:50, Reply)

I think that's what they're after alright.

(bazmorningstar efil4nat3b, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 12:58, Reply)

That's HR talk for stop turning up hungover.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 13:28, Reply)

I suspect you may be right on the internet there, my friend!

(bazmorningstar efil4nat3b, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 16:03, Reply)

I fully believe it's worse
being really tall as a woman.

All the guys you fancy are shorter than you
Trousers are hard to find that fit properly
You can't really wear heels as then you are legally classed as a giant
You tower above all your friends who are tiny making you feel like a massive ugly troll wowan

*cries*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 12:39, Reply)

Yiz are all the same height in the sack, love!
and chances are you're at your best when you're on your knees.
(bazmorningstar efil4nat3b, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 12:42, Reply)

Tall women are HAWT though,
so surely it's all good?
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 12:42, Reply)

Am I tall enought to be
hawt?
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 12:48, Reply)

depends how tall you are
dunnit?
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 11 Feb 2010, 12:51, Reply)

Obviously.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 12:56, Reply)

Plus, bonus name points of course.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 12:59, Reply)

you're lucky
I've got bloody Kaol bringing my good name down.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 13:15, Reply)

You poor, poor man.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 13:19, Reply)

How tall are you?

(Mrs Ballunatic counting calories, not votes., Thu 11 Feb 2010, 12:57, Reply)

5'11"

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 12:59, Reply)

Noooooooo!
You're never as tall as me, are you?
( girlinthehole, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 13:01, Reply)

I slouch a lot
And I'm only 5'10" on my left side as I lost a lot of cartlidge out my knee
True fact
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 13:05, Reply)

for some reason you don't come across that tall on the internet
this may be a silly thing to say.

Tall girls are awesome. My ex was welsh, therefore really short. I'm sure Mrs V made herself taller when we started going out. She's shorter now, and I certainly haven't got taller.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 13:14, Reply)

Well
for the first 3 months of me being here everyone thought I was a man
:(
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 13:16, Reply)

that is true
I'm fairly sure I knew you were a woman straight away, but I think that is because we got to talking.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 13:18, Reply)

That's because you know
about stuff like thrust bearings and tappets. It was an automatic assumption that you were a bloke.

If you'd explained the offside rule nobody would have believed you didn't have a pair of bollocks.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 13:25, Reply)

I remain unconvinced of the contrary
You're seriously 5'11" (the same height as me)!? I never noticed. I must have been staring intently into your eyes norks
\PANDAs
( djtrialprice, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 13:44, Reply)

You're not 5'10" you dirty liar

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 13:50, Reply)

I am too
5'11" Nearer 5'10"
Do you think I'm taller/shorter then?
( djtrialprice, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 13:54, Reply)

Your only ickle if I remeber rightly.

( girlinthehole, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 13:53, Reply)

The lies!
I've been measured by professionals
( djtrialprice, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 13:55, Reply)

My other half is short
About 5' 2" in fact. I'm just shy of 6', so there's quite a difference. That's the one thing I would change about her if I could. Everything else about her is just great though.

*induces vomiting in everyone*
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 13:17, Reply)

my ex was 5'2"
I'm 6'2"

it was ridiculous. walking and holding hands felt like I was with a child.

Fortunately she had enormous breasts.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 13:19, Reply)

You've just described the current Mrs K2...
Edit - except that she's not Welsh.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 13:20, Reply)

you mean to tell me there's a girl out there
who's short, well endowed and has a welsh accent. I require her number post haste!
( djtrialprice, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 13:46, Reply)

she lives in that London
she doesn't really have much of a welsh accent, having cultivated it away. she is fluent in welsh though. and has the accent when she speaks welsh.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 14:41, Reply)

that's good enough for me
I also like adding to my list of custard cousins. I should probably stop using that phrase, I freaked out one of my friends with it recently. I told him he didn't have to sleep with her... *sigh*
( djtrialprice, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 14:46, Reply)

Tall women are ace
They can fit clothes better, look fantastic and fierce in heels and can be successful models.
(Mrs Ballunatic counting calories, not votes., Thu 11 Feb 2010, 12:48, Reply)

Pfft!
I've felt like a fucking transvestite all my life.
( girlinthehole, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 12:50, Reply)

Why don't you get one then?

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 12:53, Reply)

They're not that easy to find in West Yorkshire.

( girlinthehole, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 12:56, Reply)

I'll do it if you'll dress up like Bungle from Rainbow.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 12:58, Reply)

Well I have the height for it.

( girlinthehole, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 13:02, Reply)

I still rate it better
From my low vantage perspective!
(Mrs Ballunatic counting calories, not votes., Thu 11 Feb 2010, 12:56, Reply)

How tall are you?
And how tall did you think you were?

The opposite happened to me. I thought I was a 6', turns out I'm 6' 2".

Anyway, I'm boring myself now.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 12:40, Reply)

I was under the impression I was 152, not 151cm. Bringing me below 5' tall in conversions. Centimetres make it sound less traumatic.
(Mrs Ballunatic counting calories, not votes., Thu 11 Feb 2010, 12:46, Reply)

Look at the positive
You'd be quite tall for a midget.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 12:51, Reply)

I think it would be okay
If Ballunatic wasn't over 6'. We look odd to say the least.
(Mrs Ballunatic counting calories, not votes., Thu 11 Feb 2010, 12:52, Reply)

I once had a friend
who was 4'11" and had quite a baby face. She was 20 but used to get the child fares on trains and buses. that means they must have though she was under 15 years old, lol
(wehttamman via B3ta for microwave, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 12:57, Reply)

Size doesn't matter.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 12:41, Reply)

except breast size, that matters a lot.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 12:41, Reply)

You should totally gaz JessicaJugs

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 11 Feb 2010, 12:48, Reply)

Awww man, there is such a user.
I'm should become her fan and shiz.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 12:53, Reply)

I get the feeling
that it's a 'joke' account. Che Grimsdale sussed her straight away in her first post.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 11 Feb 2010, 12:55, Reply)

I like breasts

( SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 12:41, Reply)

Who doesn't?

(wehttamman via B3ta for microwave, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 12:46, Reply)

Shirters
They prefer cocks and bottoms.
( SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 12:49, Reply)

Doesn't stop them having a cheeky feel now and again
I've seen them do it. They've made their choice, they should leave the groping to guys who appreciate it more
(wehttamman via B3ta for microwave, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 12:52, Reply)

Perhaps they appreciate breasts
but that doesn't mean they like them

Actually, that's a shit retort.
( SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 12:55, Reply)

Urrrrrr!
Dirty shirters!
(The Boy Monders I have ginger bits in my beard., Thu 11 Feb 2010, 13:52, Reply)

I thought you were talking about your penis
but then I realised you were a female and hopefully don't have one
(wehttamman via B3ta for microwave, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 12:46, Reply)

nope
Nothing but ladyparts.
(Mrs Ballunatic counting calories, not votes., Thu 11 Feb 2010, 12:49, Reply)

I like short women.
I like tall women. I like in-between women. Height-wise.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 12:52, Reply)

I like breasts

(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 13:12, Reply)

I'd love to go out with a guy I could look up to.
Figuratively and literally.
( girlinthehole, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 13:00, Reply)

you could maybe try hanging out round the circus?

(bazmorningstar efil4nat3b, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 13:04, Reply)

I'd end up with the bearded lady.

( girlinthehole, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 13:18, Reply)

I read once (possibly in the QI book of General Ignorance)
that penis size is widely variable but statistically, taller men have bigger cocks.

But if that applies to women, then tall women have big fannies. But I'm sure that all of you b3tan ladies of above average stature have tight and snug ladyparts. So it can't be the case.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 13:14, Reply)

I think perhaps we should conduct some kind of scientific experiment to find out.
And by scientific I mean sexy.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 13:16, Reply)

Yup
sexy pervy
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 13:18, Reply)

Nurse!
Fetch my speculum.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 13:22, Reply)

I've got a twelve inch willy
But I don't use it as a rule.


Oh, the old ones are the best....
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 13:23, Reply)

Oh yeah thanks
oh TGB is tall and has a cavernous vag ha HA HA HA
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 13:51, Reply)

A poem what I got from sickipedia (how shit has that gone now?! It's embarrassing!) then changed to make it read better.
Roses are red,
and a little bit smelly,
just give me a nosh,
'cause your cunts like a welly.
(The Boy Monders I have ginger bits in my beard., Thu 11 Feb 2010, 13:54, Reply)