Just stop and think for a moment before engaging in mass suicide
Because that seems to be the theme for the day...Just how shit would it be if all films had to follow these guidelines?
www.guardian.co.uk/film/2010/feb/21/hollywood-films-obey-laws-science
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 22 Feb 2010, 10:04, 40 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Back to the Future would've been shit
it'd just be Michael J. Fox driving about in a DeLorean.

Parkisonslol
(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Mon 22 Feb 2010, 10:07, Reply)

What a boring bunch of bastards.
Who cares if giant insects wouldn't be able to hold their own weight. They look fucking scary.
( girlinthehole, Mon 22 Feb 2010, 10:07, Reply)

What the fuck is he blithering about
you can move faster than light, but then afterwards things have to be coherant? He's arguing against himself.

Also, the core didn't make money because it was fucking shit, nothing to do with the science.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 22 Feb 2010, 10:09, Reply)

I gained from that that they're allowed one relatively major faux pas, but after that you have to rigidly adhere to the laws of physics
So no more Kevin Bacon invisibility rape films. Sadfaces all round.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 22 Feb 2010, 10:12, Reply)

Because Kevin Bacon isn't physically capable of rape?

(Bazongaloid, Mon 22 Feb 2010, 10:14, Reply)

Only when he's invisible
The rest of the time he's practising his dance moves with Chris Penn
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 22 Feb 2010, 10:14, Reply)

Agreed
I hate it when people say "It was so crap I turned it off after the first hour" because I always feel that they haven't watched the whole film so how would they know. Except the core, It was so crap I turned it off after the first hour.
( Peej, Mon 22 Feb 2010, 10:21, Reply)

What's the point of a space battle if you cant hear the pew-pew lazers?
honestly, Professer Fuckface can go suck a fuck
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 22 Feb 2010, 10:15, Reply)

I suggest you present this reasoned argument to him in the form of an e-mail.

( thealternativefact, Mon 22 Feb 2010, 10:24, Reply)

Yes I agree, I should post him a massive turd

( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 22 Feb 2010, 10:25, Reply)

A shouty capitalised email works best

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 22 Feb 2010, 10:26, Reply)

yeah, way better than those socialist emails at any rate

(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Mon 22 Feb 2010, 10:28, Reply)

I think it should be presented in the form of a plate of sizzling meat products
served with highly spiced yoghurt sauce.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 22 Feb 2010, 10:28, Reply)

I prefer lasers that go 'pyown-pyown'.

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 22 Feb 2010, 10:36, Reply)

Pervert

( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 22 Feb 2010, 10:52, Reply)

it's just how I roll, dude

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 22 Feb 2010, 10:53, Reply)

The genre of films he's complaining about is called science fiction and not science fact.

( girlinthehole, Mon 22 Feb 2010, 10:17, Reply)

this^
the lady speaks sense
(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Mon 22 Feb 2010, 10:20, Reply)

very well said
also, who's to say that the laws of physics are unbreakable anyway.

Doesn't sound like much of a scientist to me if he thinks he can say for definite that they are unbreakable
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 22 Feb 2010, 10:35, Reply)

And anyway
evolution, it's just a theory isn't it.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 22 Feb 2010, 10:36, Reply)

damn right
a mate of mine (who likes to argue) was going on about evolution not being real last weekend.

he got pretty much ignored which annoyed him a bit
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 22 Feb 2010, 10:45, Reply)

What a fucktarded mongaloid.
He's just some total cock trying to get his name out there so he can get some grants and stuff.

He fuck right off as far as I'm concerned.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 22 Feb 2010, 10:37, Reply)

Swimming against the current here a bit I think,
but you're all wrong, apart from the bit about The Core being shit. It's a GOOD idea for people making sci-fi to get someone in to have a look at their science. He's not saying "Well, the flux capacitor is clearly bollocks so you can't have time travel in your film," he's saying "If the flux capacitor is how you do time travel in your film and you need to find a way to power it once the plutonium has run out, you'll need something that sounds plausible rather than something that sounds ridiculous."

Besides, he's a bloke who's made up some guidelines, he's not actually in charge of anything.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Mon 22 Feb 2010, 10:58, Reply)

Most people who watch these films can barely use a DVD player so I don't think they are too worried about whether the science in the films is viable.

( girlinthehole, Mon 22 Feb 2010, 11:02, Reply)

I agree to some extent
if it's possible for the science to fit then it might as well.

The most upsetting thing for me recently was the fact that the mineral in Avatar was called Unobtanium, which is the laziest bit of fake mineral naming I've ever come across,"Ooh it's called Unobtanium it must be very rare" prats.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 22 Feb 2010, 11:07, Reply)

Yeah, you would have thought
that after having twelve years to write the bloody thing, he could have come up with a better name than "Unobtainium."

Mind you, I can't help but think he could have come up with a more imaginative plot that wasn't completely predictable at every fucking turn...
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 22 Feb 2010, 11:16, Reply)

I wasn't sure about the design of the beasts either...

If has 6 legs I want to know why it has six legs? Six legs are terribly hard to run with apparently.

I like the Amber Spyglass and the Mulalfa (sp) who had funny hooked claws and diamond shaped bodies, but the reasoning was sound(ish) they used seed pods as wheels and scooted around on lava flows.

I like that because Pullamn put some thought into not just the beasties but they're reason for being and their evolution.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 22 Feb 2010, 11:22, Reply)

I think it's the lack of imagination again...
"Hey we need something which is big and scary, like a rhino. But it's on this different planet, so we'd better make it look less like a rhino. Hmm...well, let's give it a hammerhead thing instead of a horn...um...and...I don't know, add an extra pair of legs?"

Although in my opinion, any alien that they design has to be weighed in the balance against HR Giger's creation, and so will usually be found wanting.
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 22 Feb 2010, 11:33, Reply)

Unobtanium was what they made that fucking stupid magma-sub out of in The Core as well, I think.
It's particularly stupid naming because Unobtanium is something that physicists (mostly, I think) sometimes actually use as a term for something they'd like but can't get hold of (antimatter, for example), so using it as a name for something you can actually MINE OUT OF THE GROUND is about as wrong as you can get.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Mon 22 Feb 2010, 11:32, Reply)

Yeah, but
"Drillingitoutofthegroundisabitofapainium" doesn't roll off the tongue quite as well...
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 22 Feb 2010, 11:34, Reply)

But with Science! input
you could have a name that is just shit, rather than a name that is shit and WRONG. Or, possibly, you might even end up with a name that's quite good.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Mon 22 Feb 2010, 11:39, Reply)

Frank Herbert had the right idea,
Give it a colloquial name like "the spice" and then it doesn't require a name which offends scientists, is shit and is wrong.

(Though of course, casting Sting with ginger hair and overly revealing costumes has kind of ruined that film for me, thank you very much David Lynch...)
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 22 Feb 2010, 11:43, Reply)

Sci-fi fans unite.
Create an angry blog, dress as Klingons and then commit mass suicide. That would show Hollywood and be doing the World a massive favour.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Mon 22 Feb 2010, 11:01, Reply)

chop jIH bel
(That's Klingon for "Bite me peasant").
(MichaelS wasn't picked again, Mon 22 Feb 2010, 11:59, Reply)

Feck off, knacker.
That is Irish for 'I do not recognise the Klingon Empire of those who use it's language.'
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Mon 22 Feb 2010, 12:32, Reply)

Wanker
(needs no translation)
(MichaelS wasn't picked again, Mon 22 Feb 2010, 12:58, Reply)

I think this fellow is a narrow minded twat
He makes the assumption that all Sci-fi takes place in the universe we currently inhabit.

He can have no idea of the laws of phyics in alternative dimensions and universes.

What a whining ninny.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 22 Feb 2010, 11:03, Reply)

This is nonsense, the whole point of the cinema is escapism

However I would like to see better history in films. I'm looking at you America! U157 pfft
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 22 Feb 2010, 11:04, Reply)

Meh
I don't realy care. I'm able to suspend my disbeleif for long enough to enjoy most science fiction films, if they're also well written and have decent dialouge ect. What I do care about though is when a film tries to explain it's obviously dubious science using lots of long words and such. I think it was Arthur C Clarke who said that any sufficiently advanced technology was akin to magic - If you're going to have a great big spaceship that travels through wormholes and blows up planets, please, don't have half an hour of pseudoscientific explainations, just tell me it's a damn big spaceship.

It's not the bad science that makes a sci fi film crap (Hell, there's bad science in most films. Cars dont tend to explode if you shoot them, bullets don't tend to make sparks and there's also no such thing as vampires) It's bad direction, lazy plots, poor acting and an overeliance on special effects. There's a lot of realy good sci fi out there, some of which isn't even written by Philip K Dick, about time we started using some of those ideas maybe....
(Fredz A graveyard of hopes, a dump of ambition, Mon 22 Feb 2010, 11:20, Reply)

Sci-fi be damned, what about action movies?
I just watched "The Bourne Supremacy" last night. There's an extended sequence where he's in a stolen taxi, being rammed by vehicles and doing wild stunts in this taxi after being shot in the shoulder. He pours vodka over the wound without flinching, he drives like The Stig after being collided with, and after being broadsided by other cars and getting airborne the taxi still runs perfectly. And then he uses the taxi to ram an enemy in a Mercedes SUV into an abutment.

His brain would have been rattled around hard by all of the collisions, he would have been dizzy from blood loss, he wouldn't have been able to move around as he did with a bullet through the shoulder, and at the end of it he wouldn't have been able to spring out of his wrecked taxi and hold a gun steady on his attacker, or walk out of the tunnel. Not to mention that the taxi would have folded like a soda can after those collisions and should not have been running, and certainly wouldn't have had the power to push a Mercedes SUV sideways into concrete hard enough to kill the other guy.

I like Matt Damon, but the Bourne movies are utterly craptastic.
( Wanderer, Mon 22 Feb 2010, 13:53, Reply)