A topic about breasts!
Last night I was watching some weird thing about milk, or it may have been dairy in general. Anyway a tall guy presented it and as it looks like all our dairy farmers are goign to go tits (fnar) up he suggested we all drink human breast milk instead.

Most people seemed more disgusted at drinking the milk from the same species than from a moocow. So... would you drink human breast milk?
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 23 Feb 2010, 10:15, 76 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I like breasts.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 23 Feb 2010, 10:15, Reply)

They are terrific, aren't they?

(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 23 Feb 2010, 10:16, Reply)

i like breasts

( broadsword, Tue 23 Feb 2010, 15:58, Reply)

are you offering?

(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Tue 23 Feb 2010, 10:16, Reply)

Probably not,
I don't like the idea of farming people.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 23 Feb 2010, 10:17, Reply)

Farming people are lovely.
Racist.
( thealternativefact, Tue 23 Feb 2010, 10:18, Reply)

Is it possible to make cheese from human milk?
That would be cool.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Tue 23 Feb 2010, 10:18, Reply)

I have heard of this
Don't fancy it though
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 23 Feb 2010, 10:19, Reply)

Almost as cool as dog milk cheese.

(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Tue 23 Feb 2010, 10:21, Reply)

Dog Milk Cheese?
Wasn't that an album by Suede?
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 23 Feb 2010, 10:27, Reply)

Dog Man Star,
close though.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Tue 23 Feb 2010, 10:31, Reply)

As a 'Marc Almond Fancying Shirter'...
...I have to say I think this is a great album.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 23 Feb 2010, 10:36, Reply)

As a knower of Brett Anderson
I can state categorically that he is in the top five most pretentious fucking knob-ends of all time. And a premier-league shirter, to boot.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 23 Feb 2010, 11:06, Reply)

He doesn't find it funny....
...if you call him 'Bert'.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 23 Feb 2010, 11:16, Reply)

Booting shirters may be seen as bullying.

( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Tue 23 Feb 2010, 11:16, Reply)

Have you tried dog milk cheese?
The cheese lover in me says OOOooHHhhhhhh!!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 23 Feb 2010, 10:38, Reply)

You'd have to milk it first.
Squeezing a lady dog's nips is not something I'd like to do.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Tue 23 Feb 2010, 10:47, Reply)

I can make cheese with my knob, does that count?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 23 Feb 2010, 10:19, Reply)

ba-ba-ba
ba-babybell-end
(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Tue 23 Feb 2010, 10:22, Reply)

Organzola.
Helmetdale.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 23 Feb 2010, 10:36, Reply)

Danish Blue.
- which tastes exactly as I imagine Bell End Brie does.
( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Tue 23 Feb 2010, 10:51, Reply)

MANchego

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 23 Feb 2010, 11:02, Reply)

^ The clear winner

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 23 Feb 2010, 11:04, Reply)

But what about DairyLea Triangles?
Which actually are knob cheese.
( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Tue 23 Feb 2010, 11:21, Reply)

Which is weirder
Drinking the breast milk of a stranger, a friend or a relative? Theoretically it should make no difference - unless you're getting it directly.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 23 Feb 2010, 10:19, Reply)

If it is from a bottle it shouldn't matter.
If it is straight from your sister's tit then you are probably Welsh.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 23 Feb 2010, 10:26, Reply)

Providing the nutritional make up is the same
I can't see what the issue would be.

I do wonder if they'd keep a load of women wandering around in fields for mass production purposes and how you'd be able to keep them constantly lactating though....
(Pirate Monkey is not the goddamn Batman, Tue 23 Feb 2010, 10:20, Reply)

In the same way they keep cows constantly lactating.
Or did you imagine that's a cow's natural state?
( thealternativefact, Tue 23 Feb 2010, 10:22, Reply)

Well, no
but you're going to have to find someone to get them all bred and milking in the first place.

In fact, there's not going to be any shortage of volunteers there, is there!
(Pirate Monkey is not the goddamn Batman, Tue 23 Feb 2010, 11:10, Reply)

*milks prostate onto frosties*
They're gonna taste great
They're gonna taste great
Even covered in jizz, they're gonna taste great
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 23 Feb 2010, 10:21, Reply)

They're gonna taste great
They're gonna taste great,
The spermatozoa I'll produce if you fellate!
They're gonna taste great,
And I'll pay a higher rate,
It beats hiding in a wheelie bin to masturbate!
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 23 Feb 2010, 10:26, Reply)

Lady-breast milk is vile...
...it's no wonder babies all have faces like Janette Krankie.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 23 Feb 2010, 10:23, Reply)

I tried my ex's
and found it to be OK actually*. Quite sweet, mind.

I'll bet you used to like it. When you were little, like.

*I am well aware that this is a bit weird and possibly creepy.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 23 Feb 2010, 10:31, Reply)

That is how I found out too, it had to be tasted.
*Obviously I am not referring to your ex.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 23 Feb 2010, 10:34, Reply)

Well it is rather a lot sweeter than bovine-sourced milk...
So we wouldn't need to put sugar on our cereal anymore.
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Tue 23 Feb 2010, 10:26, Reply)

Sugar on cereal is for chavs.
As is sugar in tea.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Tue 23 Feb 2010, 10:32, Reply)

What do you use, Port?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 23 Feb 2010, 10:34, Reply)

I've tried lager on Rice Krispies once, to see what it was like.
Horrible.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Tue 23 Feb 2010, 10:35, Reply)

My brother used to make
a vegetable and Special Brew pie, the filthy squatter.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 23 Feb 2010, 10:42, Reply)

Special Brew is revolting.
He should have used White Lightning cider, the choice of chavs and squatters everywhere.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Tue 23 Feb 2010, 10:49, Reply)

Ah, not in Winchester
where legendary local punk hero 'Bod' devised 'Sherrydown' - unsurprisingly a sherry/Merrydown cocktail.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 23 Feb 2010, 10:56, Reply)

pfft that's nothing
I've had lager on coco pops

it's fine until the beer goes chocolatey
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 23 Feb 2010, 11:03, Reply)

if it means i get coffee
i'd milk a fuckin sewer rat if it was the difference between a cup of coffee and not.
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Tue 23 Feb 2010, 10:32, Reply)

White coffee is for queers and communists

I bet you drink cappacinos after midday
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 23 Feb 2010, 10:40, Reply)

Agreed, I take my coffee like my women
up the arse.
( Peej, Tue 23 Feb 2010, 11:19, Reply)

I think the best thing about breasts are cleavage..
Other than that.....meh!
( girlinthehole, Tue 23 Feb 2010, 10:40, Reply)

IS cleavage, you mean.

Sorry. I can't help myself.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 23 Feb 2010, 10:43, Reply)

I was confused as I didn't mean just my breasts so I thought it was are.

( girlinthehole, Tue 23 Feb 2010, 10:46, Reply)

Just remove your breasts, so to speak:
It's 'the best thing is', not 'the best thing are', no matter whose breasts are involved...

I am sorry for the pedantry though. I know it's annoying.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 23 Feb 2010, 10:52, Reply)

I try my best : (

( girlinthehole, Tue 23 Feb 2010, 10:53, Reply)

punch him in the cock

(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Tue 23 Feb 2010, 10:55, Reply)

Keep it up, Monty.
Pedants should all pull together.
( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Tue 23 Feb 2010, 11:12, Reply)

"Pedants Pederasts should all pull together."
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 23 Feb 2010, 11:57, Reply)

I've missed you Monty

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 23 Feb 2010, 10:47, Reply)

You should aim better then.

(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Tue 23 Feb 2010, 10:50, Reply)

or...
'are cleavages..' - cos the more breasts the better I say. Naturally, a proportionate helping of poontang, pins and poopers etc is complimentary to say the least.
(bazmorningstar efil4nat3b, Tue 23 Feb 2010, 11:04, Reply)

ITYM
"complementary"
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 23 Feb 2010, 11:12, Reply)

I like nipples best.
They are so cheeky.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 23 Feb 2010, 10:49, Reply)

Surely buttocks are cheeky?

(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Tue 23 Feb 2010, 10:50, Reply)

Especially when you paint nipples on them.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 23 Feb 2010, 10:51, Reply)

I have.
The brothers nipper didn't want to finish her bottle so I did. It was nice - a bit like condensed milk. Wouldn't put it in my tea tho.

rafter
baz
(bazmorningstar efil4nat3b, Tue 23 Feb 2010, 10:56, Reply)

There was some guff on the wireless* last week
about humans having to evolve to drink cow's milk, as before 'we' started keeping cattle our bodies could not tolerate milk from other species.

*Wireless ^TM = Radio 4.
( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Tue 23 Feb 2010, 10:58, Reply)

Do you have a gramophone,
attached to your wireless?
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Tue 23 Feb 2010, 11:00, Reply)

I know I do.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 23 Feb 2010, 11:03, Reply)

No. But I do play it through my Hi-fi.

( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Tue 23 Feb 2010, 11:14, Reply)

That's true.

( girlinthehole, Tue 23 Feb 2010, 11:02, Reply)

My sister gave me an ice cream shaker thing for my birthday.
You put ice and salt in the outer sphere and milk/cream/sugar in the centre and shake it to make ice cream. Give me another 4 or 5 months and I'll try making breast milk ice cream.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 23 Feb 2010, 11:19, Reply)

You could go to work for Ben and Jerrys Ice Cream in the US

(MichaelS wasn't picked again, Tue 23 Feb 2010, 11:48, Reply)

They were on BBC breakfast news not too long ago.
Loud and overweight.
Typical Americans.
(TheColonel, Tue 23 Feb 2010, 12:02, Reply)

Ben and Jerry or PETA
Ben and Jerry's used to be a fairly responsible company with good environmental and social ethecis but the two sold out to Unilever (spelling?) for all the cash they could. (I probably would have done the same).
(MichaelS wasn't picked again, Tue 23 Feb 2010, 12:05, Reply)

The group: People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA, also known as people eating tasty animals)
Publically and in all seriousness said that "Ben and Jerry's" Ice Cream should use human milk instead of cow milk.

Made for a lot of people volunteering to milk the mothers but not much else came of it.
(MichaelS wasn't picked again, Tue 23 Feb 2010, 11:47, Reply)

*rolls eyes*
Tchah! Political correctness gone mad.

(That was my Jeremy Clarkson impersonation.)
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 23 Feb 2010, 11:55, Reply)

Even they seemed to realize it and although they never retracted
their statement, nothing more was heard from them.(Face it, they all like eating ice cream too much).
(MichaelS wasn't picked again, Tue 23 Feb 2010, 11:57, Reply)

Two schools of thought
Success - www.whytraveltofrance.com/2007/06/09/human-breast-milk-cheese-made-in-france/

Fail - www.indrani.net/index.php?q=2006/03/breast_milk_cheese

Oh and Yes I have tried it several times when checking it wasn't too hot for my daughter and I agree it tastes like condensed/evaporated milk and was quite nice definitely loads better than formula.
( Peej, Tue 23 Feb 2010, 12:13, Reply)

Don't you lot remember
That final scene in 'The Grapes of Wrath'? When the girl whose baby died suckled the man dying of starvation? Brave writing, but I'm sure it's much more common than you'd think - perhaps not in so-called 'civilised' societies though.

What is more disgusting (IMHO) is the thought of babies in the 3rd world being fed formula milk so that big business can profit, when their mum's have fully functioning milk production of their own - for free.

Discuss.
(Che Grimsdale Best before:, Tue 23 Feb 2010, 15:51, Reply)

BREASTS

( broadsword, Tue 23 Feb 2010, 15:59, Reply)