Cosy Radio-4 style word game (Probably with Barry Cryer and Willie Rushton)
Take a well known phrase, change a word or two and make it silly.

"Friends, Romans, countrymen. Lend me your bike"
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 10:47, 51 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

smokey and the magnet

( mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 10:49, Reply)

Fruit me up, Scotty

( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 10:51, Reply)

Veni, Vedi, Veni Iterum
I came, I saw, I came again.

(Google translate for again, don't blame me!)
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 10:51, Reply)

Better the vagina you know

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 10:52, Reply)

Genius is one percent inspiration and 99 percent windfall tax

( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 10:54, Reply)

haha
this made me laugh, even though I don't fully understand it.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 11:17, Reply)

bless!

(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 11:23, Reply)

I'm like a toddler
I don't get the joke but you said it in a funny voice so I'm giggling.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 11:37, Reply)

toddler girl
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 11:53, Reply)

Horses for roundabouts

(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 10:54, Reply)

Six of one, half a dozen up your mother

(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 10:55, Reply)

this.

(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 10:57, Reply)

Be careful what you fish for

(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 10:57, Reply)

I read that as
Be careful what you fist for
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 10:59, Reply)

What would you fist for?

(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 11:05, Reply)

I can't fist this feeling any more.
I've forgotten what we started fisting for
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 11:08, Reply)

I can't feel this fisting any more
To think at first it made my rectum sore...
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 11:10, Reply)

A mouth on your cock is worth two in the bush

( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 10:59, Reply)

Now is the winter of our discontent
Made glorious summer by this ton of pork.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 11:01, Reply)

Bumsex makes the world go round

(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 11:01, Reply)

Give a man a hooker and he'll be hapy for a night, teach him how to make rohypnol and he'll be happy all month

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 11:01, Reply)

^this is rich in bountiful win

(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 11:02, Reply)

I concurr.

( girlinthehole, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 11:04, Reply)

In fair Verona, where we lay our scene
a moose doth cross the road.
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 11:03, Reply)

ARBEIT MACHT WALROSS

(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 11:07, Reply)

works makes you a walrus?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 11:12, Reply)

Yup
Just look at Robert Winston
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 11:22, Reply)

EIN VOLK!
EIN REICH!
EIN TORIEPARTIE!
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 11:08, Reply)

Powers Corrupts.
Absolut Vodka corrupts absolutely.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 11:08, Reply)

We shall bite them, on the features
We shall never surrender
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 11:11, Reply)

Once more unto the beach dear friends
I fear shakespeare is lost on most of you.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 11:12, Reply)

Mongs rush in where angels fear to tread.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 11:12, Reply)

Is this a Honda I see before me?

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 11:13, Reply)

We shall go on to the end, we shall fight in France,
we shall fight on the seas and oceans,
we shall fight with growing confidence and growing strength in the air, we shall defend our Island, whatever the cost may be,
we shall fight on the beaches,
we shall fight on the landing grounds,
we shall fight in the fields and in the streets,
we shall fight in the hills;
we shall never go near the germans
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 11:15, Reply)

Very good

(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 11:31, Reply)

Can you smell that?
I love the smell of bacon in the morning.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 11:17, Reply)

"Never get out of the throat."

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 11:19, Reply)

It's no use locking the basement door after the Fritzl has bolted

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 11:19, Reply)

Ha!

( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 11:20, Reply)

The early bird catches the clap

( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 11:20, Reply)

It's raining scat and dogshit

( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 11:23, Reply)

*coffee through nose*

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 11:24, Reply)

"Is this a dangler which I see before me..."

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 11:23, Reply)

I find your lack of trousers disturbing

( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 11:26, Reply)

"Screw your courage to my stinky-place."

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 11:32, Reply)

there used to be a fruit seller at cambridge market
who quite often shouted

"bananas, 6 for a paahnd and one up the arse!"
(Halfy By light alone, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 11:27, Reply)

A bird in the hand
is worth two in Kate Bush
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 11:34, Reply)

A bumming a day keeps the rapist away*
*_{Possibly not true}
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 11:36, Reply)

Where there's cock there's a cunt.

( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 11:38, Reply)

Lock, Stock and two smoking a fag

( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 11:39, Reply)

Here's one
A Freudian slip is where you say one thing and mean your mother.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 17:50, Reply)