la la la
Annoy-o girl keeps humming the Go Compare music which is incredibly hard to block out. What annoying advert themes do you have stuck in your head.

Alternativey who would win in a fight between David Dickenson, Kevid McCloud, Gok Wan and a goat?
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 9:50, 78 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

David Dickinson
Well, he is made of teak.
( DarkSon a time and date will follow this username on, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 9:52, Reply)

Kevin McCloud
would pwn them all. He has a hard hat.

I would love to see a Celebrity Deathmatch with Kevin McCloud and Gok Wan. Do we know any stop animators on b3ta?
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 9:53, Reply)

I stop animators all the time
I wave my cock at them and they fall over laughing.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 9:55, Reply)

I saw a new celebrity deathmatch the other day
it wasn't as good as I remembered.
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 9:55, Reply)

are they still making it?
I haven't seen it for yonks
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 9:56, Reply)

Yeah
They have a new annoying woman interviewer as well who sucks
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 9:59, Reply)

Oh I think I've seen a couple of the new style ones then
where they have a weird fake interview thing?
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 10:00, Reply)

The goat would win
The others would just mince off as soon as they caught the smell of David Dickinsons athletic gear
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 9:54, Reply)

Also: I've just seen a programme about autisms on channel 4 advertised. It's sponsored by Honda
I lolled proper style.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 9:56, Reply)

a woman rang up at work to ask for advice because her son had been arrested for assault
and she said "but it wasn't his fault, he's got chronic aspergers syndrome". I had to pass the call over to a colleague because I was lolling too much.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 9:58, Reply)

Why was he allowed out by himself? Everyone knows that autisms live online

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 9:58, Reply)

Waves to the autisms

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 9:59, Reply)

Don't they'll panic.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 10:00, Reply)

I love how you refer to people with a mental illness as "they"

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 10:05, Reply)

I love how you think you can bait me.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 10:06, Reply)

I love how you pretend not to care
you're totally crying on the inside.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 10:08, Reply)

this is me
i21.tinypic.com/2mza8b8.gif
(PsychoChomp, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 10:09, Reply)

You sicken me

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 10:10, Reply)

I've noticed.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 10:19, Reply)

haha that was cute
until the end, where obviously it just got disgusting.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 10:11, Reply)

That was me on Guardian soulmates.

( girlinthehole, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 10:12, Reply)

It's been diagnosed though
I think it's only the undiagnosed ones that frequent the internets. Getting it diagnosed is every nerd's dream, it's like acceptance into the freemasons.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 10:00, Reply)

Ahh this is true
Waves to the undiagnosed autisms
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 10:01, Reply)

Gok Wan strikes me as...
a sexually abused psychopath. I think if he were to really let go and go nuts, he'd probably tear the calm and serene Kev Mcloud to shreds.
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 9:56, Reply)

he'd at least get in a few gouges with that ear thing he wears

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 9:56, Reply)

Kevin Mcloud is secretly a ninja

(Bazongaloid, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 9:58, Reply)

You have obviously never seen AngryMcloud
You are makign the roof out of PLASTIC?! YOU DISGUST MEEEEEEEEEE
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 9:58, Reply)

I love when he says "well that's not the way I'd go, but it's your money"
when really he's saying "Your house is going to look shit and I'm going to enjoy it and say I told you so to the viewers when you're out of earshot"
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 9:59, Reply)

hahahaha
I saw an awesome Grand Designs revisited yesterday where a guy built a totally natural house it the woods it was awesome! Then he found love and Kevin got all "aww" and then saw the guys workshop and went "Wow I want this" which I think is the first time ever he has liked something someone else has made
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 10:01, Reply)

I think I saw that too
the guy was called Ben?

And when he came back, the guy had met a woman and they'd just had a baby and I was all "Grand Designs brought him love" *tear rolls down cheek*
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 10:07, Reply)

Yes!
I had a little *sniff* moment
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 10:09, Reply)

LIES!!!
Your too hard and cold inside.
( girlinthehole, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 10:09, Reply)

You're

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 10:10, Reply)

I know.
I was going to change it but thought you'd calmed down with all that grammer nazi stuff.
( girlinthehole, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 10:11, Reply)

I had until you called me dead inside

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 10:12, Reply)

: )

( girlinthehole, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 10:14, Reply)

it's like alcoholism
there is no cure.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 10:12, Reply)

I love how on Property Ladder
or whatever it's called with Sarah Beany, no one ever listens to her. I remember she told one woman not to make the bathroom too specialised as she was only doing the house up to sell for profit, but the woman put in colour changing submerged lights in the bathroom and a starry-sky style ceiling with a whirlpool bath and black granite everywhere. Sarah Beany was like "errrr...."
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 10:14, Reply)

I saw some art deco house
where these two vacuous bints totally did it up in their own style, including spending thousands on awful awful mosaic tiles in the downstairs bathroom, and then couldn't sell.

and they always go "oh, we've decided not to sell, we're going to live here"
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 10:23, Reply)

It's brilliant isn't it
lets get a professional in to offer advice, and then totally ignore it because clearly we know better than the person who has made millions doing exactly what I'm trying for the first time.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 10:25, Reply)

It did used to annoy me when Anne from House Doctor
put bloody seagrass matting down everywhere. Not everyone wants a carpet made from reeds!
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 10:28, Reply)

on House Doctor
whenever they didn't listen to the woman she would always end the show with "they haven't taken my advice and as of today's date, the house is still on the market". She knows that they will watch the show and just rubs salt in their wounds hehe.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 10:27, Reply)

I have got stoned out of my mind with Anne Maurice
She is a fucking CHAMPION.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 10:32, Reply)

o_O
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 10:40, Reply)

I liked the one where
a couple were converting an office block to a hotel and had no idea what they were doing. The hotel guru was like have you thought about kitchen/laudrey access, they mumbled, she pointed out a lorry would never get down the tiny tiny alley. And then for the KO she mentioned disabled access whilst pointed to the stairs EVERYWHERE.

Shockingly they ran over budget by a few hundred thousand
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 10:33, Reply)

My favourite ever was a bloke who needed to rebuild an interior wall
and it was load bearing, but he was too tight to by additional agroprops so he only supported the ceiling on one side of the wall as he demolished it and rebuilt it. I really wish it had collapsed and killed him.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 10:37, Reply)

That house is just so awesome.
I could live without dimmer switches if that was my home.
( girlinthehole, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 10:08, Reply)

hahaha

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 10:09, Reply)

dimmer switches?!
you're living the dream right there
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 10:11, Reply)

Subdued lighting is the future.

( girlinthehole, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 10:13, Reply)

The older I get the lower the lights go

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 10:14, Reply)

We're going to look lovely hanging around the kitchen at my bash.

( girlinthehole, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 10:16, Reply)

You're having a bash!?
Was I invited?
(Bazongaloid, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 10:39, Reply)

obviously not

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 10:41, Reply)

you're probably on ignore

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 10:41, Reply)

She does hate me so

(Bazongaloid, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 10:42, Reply)

You won't come so far ooop north.

( girlinthehole, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 10:45, Reply)

I've spent a long time in darkrooms.
Subdued red lighting is the way forward
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 10:16, Reply)

i saw adverts for the first time in ages the other day
I think they've got odder.

Goats are cool
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 10:07, Reply)

Kevin McCloud of the clan McCloud
easy

there can be only one
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 10:10, Reply)

Why, you cruising for a piece of ass?

That film has some of the best dialogue ever.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 10:18, Reply)

it is a great film
the second one is weird though
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 10:19, Reply)

The advert that pisses me off most at the moment
is the James Patterson one.

'Coming to the gym?'
'maybe later'
'reading the latest James Patterson - I doubt it!!11!

You pair of witless fucking mongoloids.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 10:15, Reply)

That is the only advert that gets me wft-ing.
It's crap.
( girlinthehole, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 10:18, Reply)

when did they start advertising books on tv?
other than whsmiths advertising a load of shit biographies at christmas
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 10:18, Reply)

waterstone's used to, too
patterson books are like some awful brand, now, written in bulk and sold to the braying masses
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 10:20, Reply)

indeed they are
they weren't too too bad to begin with, but he has gone rapidly downhill. The books he has "written" with someone else are among the worst I have read.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 10:21, Reply)

to be fair, I've never read one
I just assumed they were crap. I'm not a bit crime/thriller reader anyway
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 10:23, Reply)

Having seen the advert
I'm confident James Patterson is 'not for me'.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 10:24, Reply)

you are 100% right
you would loathe them
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 10:25, Reply)

some of the old Alex Cross ones aren't too awful
like Along Came a Spider, but still not really worth the bother.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 10:24, Reply)

I don't think I ever read any of his stuff
I'm more a Frederick Forsyth gal
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 10:26, Reply)

You're an evil tory apologist with no morals?

(Bazongaloid, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 10:38, Reply)

pretty much

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 10:45, Reply)

I'd like to wait
until the first hag has gone off to the gym before bursting out of my hiding place armed with a pair of rusty shears, to slowly torture and ultimately slay the other one.

Then I'd have a crafty wank whilst crying and screaming the Lord's prayer, then sit back and wait for the first one to come home: rinse and repeat...
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 10:31, Reply)

can it be considered crafty if you are screaming at the time?
or do you mean that you will get felt, glitter and glue involved?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 10:38, Reply)

haha definitely the latter

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 10:40, Reply)

Fuzzy Felt Masturbation Parlour?

(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 11:25, Reply)